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Words, Words, Words
| Musomaniacs reveal their favorite quotations, familiar, unfamiliar, and surreal. Send yours to <wordsofwisdom@musefanpage.com>.
"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." To be fair, she was about 14 when she said that. —Robert "Please provide the date of your death." "CAUTION: Knife is very sharp. Keep out of children" "CAUTION" Cape does not enable user to fly "We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover." "The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." "The world is more like it is now then it ever has before." "Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." Hey, I survived that earthquake! So did Rosanne. We did say that, more or less. —Robert "The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45." "I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." "Nobility's a trait that's not always trustworthy,since it sometimes causes men to do things for strange reasons." "While that water was not very deep, it was deep enough." "We all have our faults." "It's a game. The money's just a way of keeping score. It's the game that's important." "Whose the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows?" "(large number) are still dead or missing." "Life's unfair." "If I had a million dollars, I'd be rich." "I wish I thought this threw." "A '2,'" (1st) "I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day." "The Lord of the Rings films are for people like ME to love! WE memorized the books! WE made the websites! WE drew the detailed maps of Osgiliath onour binders!" "You ain't one of 'em card counters, are ya?" (Some guy) Submitted by Maura P. "Do unto me, and you shall get smacked" "This senance is false" "If you like cheese, just say please. You don't have to throw someone off of a cliff lalalalala ;we all live in Dorito land..." Submitted by _____? ...FUNKY FRESH! "...We are not retreating, we are simply advancing in the other direction." Submitted by Ritzu "I intended to be an actor, actually. That was my passion as a kid. I studied quite seriously in New York and during my teenage summers. Then I found girls." Submitted by Anschel S.-C. here are my favorite quotes: My book! Where is my book!?! I need my book! Have you seen my book!?! Can you all see me? Can you all here me? The boy stood on the burning deck, picking his nose like mad.... Will you be saving her, then? You might be a redneck if the first thing you say when you come out of a coma is how's my dog? Submitted by lilbro777 "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" Submitted by Derek J. My people! I've forgotten my line! If life gives you a lemon, sit down and eat the d*** lemon I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve But why is the rum gone?! You cheesy lot of secondhand electric donkey-bottom biters! We need to have our Inner-Eyes tested You can't expect to wield supreme executive power, just because some watery tart threw a sword at you! I mean, if I went around saying I was an emporer, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! you're that smart? Invisible....invisible.......invisible? Invisible! Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Hello. My name is Hokey Pokey. You killed my father. Prepare to dance. yoooou puuuuut yooooour.... sword arm in, you put your sword arm out, you put your sword arm in, and you shake it all about... Submitted by Elizabeth A. "Figure out your crap first, then tell me what to do." "People who quote themselves are true gods." "Either those curtains go, or I do." Submitted by Grant O. I think, therefore I get a headache YES this next one is Douglas Adams. YES everyone always quotes Douglas Adams. YES you are probably tired of getting Douglas Adams quotes. Too bad. YES this is probably too long to put up. Pick any quote from here, or don't put it up at all. Your choice. I'm just putting the whole thing down cuz it's all hilarious and is my fav scene . "I know,"said the Frogstar battle machine, after another moment's consideration, "you must have one of those new Xanthic Restruction Destabilized Zenon Emitters!" "Nice, aren't they?" said Marvin. "That's what you've got?" said the machine in considerable awe. "No," said Marvin. "Oh," said the machine, disappointed, "then it must be..." "You're thinking along the wrong lines," said Marvin. " You're failing to take into account something fairly basic in the relationship between men and robots." blahblahblah. "I'll tell you what they gave me to protect myself with, shall I?" "Yes all right," said the battle machine, bracing itself. "Nothing," said Marvin. again looooong quote, you probably won't use that one. hoom, what else...ANYTHING from monty python is awesome. here's my dad's fav. from the Holy Grail "Well she turned me into a newt!!" "What? A newt?" "I got better." That whole scene is hilarious but I'm going to save myself the trouble of typing, and you the trouble of reading. (aren't I thoughtful? bonus points for me! or koko will pie you) OH!!! another douglas adams hang on. *thinkthinkthinkthink* erm...can't remeber which book this one was from. anyhoo "If I ever meet myself, I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me!" ok this is a loooooooong email I'm gonna go to bed now (aka stay up all night reading) you guys all rock!! And I suppose if you really didn't want to use any of my quotes...well...I wouldn't be too disappointed *sigh* (koko get some pecan pies ready) ok one more quote. I AM A HOT-PINK BUNNY FAN!!!!! Submitted by Elizabeth A. Adult in rebellion Fun Logic out of Fun Project (Housebuster)- Submitted by Kokopelli #2 if life hands you lemons, chuck them at the person next to you. if life hands you pies, chop them up and throw a bit at everybody. submitted anonymously; anybody like to claim credit? “Everything in this room is eatable. Even I’m eatable, but that, my children is called cannibalism and is frowned on in most cultures.” —Willie Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005 movie version) submitted by Duncan_Quagmire“I love deadlines, I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” “Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.” “I’ll moider da bum.” “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” “You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.” “Never test the depth of water with both feet.” “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving might not be for you.” “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” Submitted by TOPFOT (“The Other Person From Over There”) To me, kung-fu is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. Submitted by the Random Moose Person A loon full of sugar helps the Medacrane go down. Those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones Submitted by The C [= Chintsu, Chinsu] Rule #1: The customer is always right. Rule #2: if the customer is wrong, please refer to rule #1. When life hands you a lemon, say, " Oh yeah, I like lemons. What else ya got?" Sometime you're the windshield: sometimes you're the bug. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes. My karma ran over my dogma. What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. submitted by Rachel Have a drink. Enjoy yourself. If everything was under control it wouldn't be cool and froody. Thirty seconds 'till impact, guys. You can call me Eddie if it helps you to relax. Very deep, dear. How beautiful. Would anyone mind if I ate the last sandwich? I know, baby, but I couldn't care less. Such is life. And as they got older, they got older. submitted by Juliette R. You realize as I stand here talking to you, I got this shirt for my wife! Hold on- I'm tying my pants! Man, you need some Tic-Tacs or something, MMM.... Pie If I got smart with you, how would you know? No, you aren't stupid, honey, you just act stupid. NO TRESPASSING! submitted by Andy O. One day I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How it got in them I will never guess. submitted by -?- "You and your 'mankind'..." "What is the speed of DARK?" "I hate the idea of being a THING." "It was a dark... stormy night—no, actually it was mid-day in Los Angeles." "... they were forced to eat Sir Robin's minstrels—and there was much rejoicing." submitted by Morbid "Don't worry, you are just as sane as I am." submitted by Erica B. On Mount Doom, doom shall fall. submitted by Faryadi "I do not lie, I create alternate realities" It's not dead yet, it's just resting! Nobody expects the spainish inquistion! Ni!!!!! Thank you so much for just reading these! Give thy thoughts no tongue. Open sesame! Give me liberty or give me death! This is the fourth? When angry count to ten before you speak; if very angry a hundred. All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. I have seen war.... I hate war Eat My Shorts "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." "Do, or do not. There is no 'try'." "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." "Black holes are where God divided by zero." "Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." "My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." "Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them." "No one can earn a million dollars honestly." "Everything has been figured out, except how to live." "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it." "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." "I have read your book and much like it." "The covers of this book are too far apart." "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." "How can I lose to such an idiot?" "I don't feel good." "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." "If you hit rough times keep breathing and you'll make it" “I find television very educating. Whenever someone turns on a set I go into another room and read a book.” “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” “A friend is some one who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today just the way you are” “Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness” “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” “There are two ways two look at the world. One is as if nothing were a miracle the other is as if everything is” Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat. In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language. Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. I shall call you squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my squishy. Come here Squishy come here. OW! bad Squishy bad Squishy "Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry." "We ice skate." "You." "I don't know, it must be the weather." "So this is America. They must be out of their minds." "I call it Arthur" “There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t” "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." "USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population." "When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction." "Any American who is prepared to run for President should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from every doing so." "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago." “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.” Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. Imagination is more important than knowledge. I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. All that is gold does not glitter, Go not to Elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes. I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam. I will take the ring, though I do not know the way. |