The carnage continues.
Continued from https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=989 .
Patience, Please
This site is under reconstruction and will look strange for a while. We regret the inconvenience.
No, This Is Pie War 2007.2, Part 2
This entry was posted in Random craziness. Bookmark the permalink.
First post! Now down to business…
Right. The small party of men charged directly at TMFA each unsheathing an encrusted golf club as they ran. The leader/decoy’s mechanical arms each took a golf club, as well as the man’s normal arms took up one. (Tri-wielding, four arms).
What? Someone with 4 arms?! WOW!!!!!
With golf clubs too?! That’s DANGEROUS! 
*grabs cheesy pie for protection*
I made sure all my troops/decoys were fully equiped, just like me.(If back-up comes, he’s still wearing the I, man-gator mask)
yes, my back up came! the fighter shoot fivety pies from there guns to kill i,man gator.
How would you know if it was I, man gator of just one of his decoys?
5-it’s their guns. The attack squad swings their golf clubs in succesion to hack the pies in half as they come at ‘me’.
6-he’s the only person that knows that there are decoys.
i dont really now what to do…
For heaven’s sake, join the op until this war is over then start on the next one!
no no no the pies are steel cheese pies they cant break the golfclubs get blown into Urainias telescope and malfunctions it!!!!
11-? with nearly no punctuation, your posts are almost impossible to read. I’m confused. If the pies are metal, they’ll get dented and stop. I tried to let you have your way on this thread, as you hardly ever do, but it seems like it was a mistake; I’m very confused, you don’t really follow a storyline too much.
I turn to Jadestone. “I didn’t want to tell you this before, as it might have compromised my side, but I don’t want to omit information that might save a noble warrior from death.
Every single piece of equipment made by Vanilla has a destruct system in case it falls into enemy hands. Only Piggy and I know the codes to activate them. Most of I, man-gator’s equipment was taken from Fort V. If I can transmit the codes at 105.6 HZ, he will be at a serious disadvantage, as his weapons will immediately start to melt.”
Gwendolyn of the easter seas? Alice? PC?
Where is everyone?
11- Please please please please please start posting comments that make sense.
I started to understand this was to hard. I ran back to the rest of the people.
15-the group of men each charged towards TMFA, with their weaponry raised high. The leader, with his free hand, took a pie grenade from his backpack and hurled it at TMFA, yelling.
10-What’s the op?
17-the opposition. Does random things for fun.
“For heaven’s sake, TMFA is being chased. Give me a transmitter!”
11- Is english your first language?
19-the golf clubs are not fort v’s equipment along with other things, but only very few.
The sqaud came closer to TMFA, and began to hurl pie grenades, with their leader.
21- I know. You will be weakened, but by no means incapacitated.
Of course, that all depends on if JADESTONE or GWENDOLYN or GLASSBORO visits this thread and GIVES ME THE STUPID TRANSMITTER!
GWENDOLYN!!!! JADESTONE!
That might work.
orrr TMFA is doomed…*whistles*
21- How did you get your massive amount of supplies if not from fort V? And is the pastry queen still active?
I start to run fasted, running up to prarilius canix.
25- The Pastry Queen blew up in the Battle of Jadestone Fortress.
25-I salvadged most of it from the pastry queen and there is a large amount of equipment I took from fort v. The pastry queen exploded, and then I salvadged what I could(including wood, and other building materials)
26-? you cant run fasted, and you’d have to get to the building, and then go inside. which would take too much time to get in without getting pied down.
29- you can not uderstand, bu there is a secret entercane I found once.
30-???what??? even so, wouldn’t I notice you? You’re posts are very confusing. No offence intended, but please write slightly more intelligibly next time. Perhaps we should forget this happened…
28- Then most of your materials would melt.
I have no idea what’s going on. there was some strange post that I didn’t understnad, thej someone was talking about metal cheese pies, then someone was talking about melting cheese pies. Then……. What?
31- opps! it sould be ” there is a door that I found once, tring to spy on the (people who own the fort). I sneak in and pc is suprised to see me.
“What the heck.” I snatch up the transmitter from the equipment I took from the Jadestone guard, tune it to the right frequency, and enter a complex alphanumerical code. Immediately, most of I, man-gator’s equipment begins to melt, leaving him and his men with the golf clubs and a few other items that he had before joining Vanilla.
I turn to Gwendolyn and offer her the transmitter. “As I recall, you have fully armed zeppelins at your command. I strongly suggest pieing I, man-gator now while he is distracted.”
TMFA pops up seemingly out of nowhere. Then I see that he came from a passage under a loose floor tile. “Ah, good.”
” I barly made it. he was this close to killing me. a simple fight between vinillllla and cholkit this ant’ ”
“why do you all was say ‘vinillllllla?” ask pralius canix
” I was in the army of lime before they were taken over. that is how we limer’s say it.
There is no lime.
Jade and Gwen seemed unresponsive. “Oh, darn… ” I muttered. “What’s the Op command broadcasting frequency?”
Fortunately, the transmitter I’d stolen was one of the older models from the era of the JadeOp alliance, and it had Op frequencies programmed into the speed-dial menu. I hit the appropriate button. “Begin bombarding Gimanator’s attack force with all available weaponry,” I said. “Fire at will.”
The gunners didn’t respond at first, and I was afraid they wouldn’t obey orders given in my voice, which was masculine and obviously not Jadestone’s or Gwen’s. However, they must have assumed it was Glassboro or some other commanding officer, because the dull crump of pie cannons and the whistling noise of incoming jujube jittes began echoing up from the floor.
37- they are taken over by some other country.
37- Perhaps it is now part of chocolate? He did say “before they were taken over.”
How about… orange?
41- that lime was taken over by, or were I am from?
41- If Lady Cinnamoon is anything to go by, Orange seems like a peaceful sort of place.
They’re attacking nectarine.
Oh, howsabout they were peaceful until a raucous new president who seemed calm before being elected came to power?
I am form lime, witch was tacken over by lemon, witch was taken over by cholkit. that is when I jioned the jadestones.
i will be on I, man-gators side, because i am bored.
what to do, what to do…
what does jioned mean?
47-
Haha! Good luck with being a decoy!
the squad had begun vigorously firing anti-pie pies to stop the pies in their tracks. As the fillings splattered, I, man-gator’s face started to melt off, revealing another man fighting off the pies…
yuup.(yup.)…(yu-oop).
48- I keep doing that! I type the i before the o sometimes.
I’m still confused. Are we fightring again or is the battle still paused? I do not know. *bakes more cheese pies*
I (my decoy) is trying to defend himself with little ammo, and his mask is dissolving(it was vanilla material).
53- It was, but then a lovely new king came along, and messed everything up. Ever wonder why I left? My father and mother are both currently suffering under the tyranny, so they got me out as quick as possible. I, not quite understanding, kept the peaceful old-orange ways, as did my mother and father. I have not heard from my parents for over a year, so I wander around, speaking in Elizabethian.
*ping*! B. Cavefish appears on the battlefield. Seeing as the battle may or may not be paused and since B. Cavefish is of course on the side of nobody but B. Cavefish currently (I’m a fish of questionable loyalty)… B. Cavefish bakes pies of unspecified variety.
“Take him out!” I yell into the transmitter, and a particularly fierce bombardment of Boomerangs of Blackberry completely devastate the attack party. I rush to the window in triumph… and realize that the man lying in the sodden heap of crust is not really Gimanator.
I turn back. “That was a decoy. The real I, man-gator is still out there.”
I am too furious at being ignored to care about the battle going on outside the window. “Where is Ecila?!?!” I yell at Canix. “You said you knew, so where is she?!”
Eh. I could do better at some point, but right now I’m kind of bored and should be doing my homework. I’m also about to writ to Muse.
“She’s back at the Vanilla fort- ” I suddenly stop in horror, realizing what I was saying. “No,” I whisper, and drop to my knees. “I’m so sorry.”
The drama! I love this kind of thing!
~~~~~~~~
My eyes widened in shock, and I slumped back against the pillow, my mouth very dry and my hands very cold. “You don’t mean…”
But I knew he did. This was warfare, after all.
I burst into tears.
Oh, butter me and call me a biscuit, I’ve been busy, I’ll catch up with this thread tomorrow.
Sorry.
“Apologies for taking unauthorized command, Gwen, but we would have been overrun.”
I will temporarily be leaving the blog, so I will give all of Vanilla’s remaining equipment to Gwendolyn until I return.
Sitting at my desk, a red light starts flashing on a moniter…”Hmmm…number 15…you have been destroyed…never mind that…I’ve got more…heh.”
master I, man- gator, me and my elite squad of 11 units are ready to be deployed. where should we head?
im sorry, but the whole brb and red moniter lights flashing thing threw me off…where were we?
NOOOO! You call ME master!
Lady Cinnamon Moon of Orange points in the direction of the skirmish. “Methinks that a fight is ending there. I fear that soon battle may again commence. Let us go to the fortress there”
Taking Ecila’s hand, she runs to the Op fortress and knocks furiously on the door. “If anyone is there, I beg
thouthee to let us in!”Thbhthb. *sticks out tounge*
i want four arms, so there.
My elite squad and I. Get your grammar right, Seargent! Now then, we’ll need to make a surround attack on the op fortress. Set your units up to make pie trebuchets from long distance…and bake the pies…
“Sir! I will sourround their fortress. The pies will be baked… with a hard crust, and gooey in sides… was it peach you had suggested? Or was it boysenberry?” salutes, quickly strapes on backpack and picks up golf clubs. “lets go, Elite Pie Unit Squad! (E.P.U.S.)”
Suddenly, PraCan vanished after uttering his apology. I looked about, bewildered. What on Earth to do?
Let’s ge ready for pie war Gwendolyn!
*thrusts up freshly baked cheese pie*
*sticks fnger in pie*
Wow.That tastes GOOD!
71-spare none in the assualt! If any reaction is made against us, retreat! We must not lose troops, only weaken their fortress…
A large amount of Men wearing blue uniforms with two dirty handprints on their uniforms ready up trebuchets and mobile stoves, baking pies and readying to fire. Now all that they await is the word from their seargent…
“FIRE!!!”
Not long now…
She cried again “I beg thee- Let us in!”
Oh, come on Gwendolyn.
Whoa. Sorry. Loads of action.
As quickly as PraCan had vanished, another figure appeared, this one in green-brown robes, with an assortment of cheese pies. I did not know the person, but they knew me somehow, and seemed to be sympathetic to our cause.
“Let’s get ready for Pie War, Gwendolyn!” the person said, sticking their finger into a cheese pie and sampling it, an expression of delight on their face.
On the next bed down, Alice, my surrogate sister, was lying on her back, tears streaming down her face. Ecilia was dead, she was sure. I realized there were wet streams pouring down my own visage as well.
A small battle raged about three miles south of the fortress, its outskirts barely yards away from the cloaked Op Fortress.
A note at the bedstand in PraCan’s hand proclaimed me the new commander of the Vanillin Army.
Jadestone sat in a chair between Alice’s and my own bed, stupified at the recent events as I had been until this moment.
And there was a banging at the door. A banging at the door? How could that be? The fortress was cloaked! My inventor’s curiosity overiding military sense, I stiffly got up and walked to the door, as fast as I could with the bandages around my abdomen. I opened the door in the main hall, and two figures stumbled in. I yelped, coming back to my senses, and quickly slammed the door shut, locking it and reactivating the security measures with a special key pad near the door. The warriors outside seemed not to have noticed, which was good, becase I was too shocked to take in anything but the two people who had just come in.
One was a tall woman in an orange robe that was streaked with cinnamon-colored and scented swirls. The other was a young lady who bore an uncanny resemblance to Alice, and had on a tattered cream-colored robe. One of the sleeves was missing, revealing a purple arm band.
“ECILIA!!!” I screeched, sweeping my other surrogate sister into a tight hug.
My mortals! What are you thinking! The Pie war has already reached it’s strongest and you are just writng stories about it!!!! You need to prepare, and if you don’t the army of kokopelli and the billion hot pink bunnies will come and trow pies in you faces! Take my warning and prepare for the billion hot pink bunnies that are coming!!!!! i am SOO lucky to be able to be up in Olympus and be chatting with Urania! Please take care! This is NOT the Golden age. it’s not my fault!
79-Shut up! We’ve been doing this for a while!
I soar on wing toward the chip mountains, a massive army in my wake. Not long now…
79- Lord, child, if you want to join, make it logical, don’t just insert yourself in as an omnipotent being with the power to destroy us all! That makes it boring for us, and, in time, for you. I used to resist this format, but I now know it is vastly entertaining.
I wanna hear the pies come down on the fortress from gwen’s point of veiw. It’ll be so much cooler that way.
” maddams, we need to get going, I,man-gator is attack, and has duplicites. this is no time to reminice!”
82- Well, who says I’m going to let them come down? Don’t get me mad. I’ll rain pastry chaos on your head. And I’m waiting for Alice and kiwimuncher to reply before I act further. *sits and taps foot, waiting* This is rather dull…
“Shut up! How would you feel if you thought your sister was dead and you found out she was alive? Would you just keep battling? I’ll set the security higher, if that makes you feel better, dear,” I snapped at TMFA, promptly punching in a new code that would heighten the security around the fort.
“ALICE! COME QUICK!”
The orange-clad lady sat on the floor, looking exhausted. The green-brown robed person wandered in, cheese pies in tow. Jadestone came too, still in a daze. Glassboro marched behind her, supporting his befuddled commander. Alice drifted in, her face red and blotchy, still shuddering with repressed sobs. Then she saw Ecilia.
84-Jeez, they’ve already been fired, but if it makes you happier…
At their leaders command the elite piers lifted their golf clubs and brought them down upon the ropes to their pie trebuchets in unison. Pies were huled all together at the op fortress clouding up the sky as if there were a wall of pies…
“look, I am takng some wepons, and going out again. I am also taking amour this time.”
… And were intercepted by a line of Kamikaze HPBs.
“I am here!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.
Over the chip mountains came piero, strong as ever, my cousin wert, roaring and swinging a large pie tree as a club. Clanking in came the tank platoons of blueberry, shooting massive blue heat bombs. The elite knights of grape rode in side by side with the People’s republic of blackberry, on their humble donkeys. The barbarians of spagghetti rushed hand in hand with the civilized vegan tofuers. The Legions of apple wore tunics of both colors, so no one could tell them apart. The dwarves of nectarine sat upon the shoulders of the mighty orange warriors, shooting pie blunderbusses. Pomegranete and Strawberry flung pies filled with Pomberry juice, their new compromise drink. And lastly came the legions of peanut butter, butterscotc, and caramel, wearing identical uniforms.
I landed boeriala [/name butchery] and strode over to C++DM.
“Well, friend, what have you to say now?”
I hoisted up my pie cannon as he lunged, and shot him in to his trebuchet.
“Now, where is I,man gator?”
86- good! Join me!
“ECILA!” I shrieked, at the same moment that she called my name. And then we were babbling, trying to ell our stories and express our happiness at being together again both at once.
Finally we managed to get everything straightened out. “Now what?” I asked. “We can’t go back to Blackberry, and with this war going on we can’t make it to Nectarine, either.”
“Not to mention I’ve already sworn to help Vanilla,” said Ecila. “Speaking of Vanilla–where’s Canix?”
” he disperiad into thin air” I say behiand a mile of amour. ” no one nows what happened.”
87-powwerrr play…and how do you know it’s C++D, and how do you know he wouldn’t fight back. Besides, they would retreat immediatley, like I told him to.
Oh, well. The small party of elites fled in the chaos, leaving what little supplies they had brought.
“It’s true. He was right next to me. Ecilia, welcome to the Op Fortress. Alice can fill you in on how I came to be here and what precisely is going on. But I am now the commander of both the Op and Vanillin armies.” I tried to sound calm. Turning to The orange-robed girl and the green-brown clothed person, I gave them my best daunting stare.
“You two are strangers to me. But I am prepared to accept you into the shelter of the Op Fortress if you agree not to cause any trouble for our cause, and if you will aid me in fighting the enemy as needed. Our enemy is the dastardly, insane Gimanator, a Vanilla defect who has gained power since going AWOL. He tried to kill my best warrior, Ag, aided in the destruction of Jadestone’s fortress, and single-handedly destroyed the Vanillin stronghold. He caused the separation and near-death of these two sisters-” I gestured to Alice and Ecilia, both of whom had an arm slung around each other’s shoulders.
“-and, I’ll warrant, the grief that has come to you, orange lady. Commanders Jadestone, Prarilius Canix, and myself were teamed up to destroy him and his forces, but PraCan mysteriously vanished. Now I am the general to his army. I will do all in my power to defeat Gimanator still, and I hope Jadestone will continue to assist me in light of recent circumstances. Please, tell me who you two are,” I finished, staring at the two newcomers.
Since I have not been on here in forever, assume that I have joined the Chocolate Army. Or something like that. If anyone wants my character to come back, just tell me, but if it doesn’t matter either way, that’s fine too.
94- Come aboard! Chocolate has been pretty quiet for awhile, and now that I am the commander of the Vanillin Army, I’d be one of their targets. You should be the general. Makes it easier for the army to do things.
91- No, it would have been if l had brought them immediatly. l haven’t done anything for a while. And With C++DM, l didn’t wait for a response.
96-well, they flee. So there.
Fine. That just means l’ll come after you.
95- Chocolate should be an ally. The rest of the flavor continent is. And you should notice me by now. Whatever happened to the Skipper Nancy? She never woke up.
The orange lady gave Gwendolyn an equally daunting stare, sadness in her eyes. “I am Lady Cinnamon Moon of Orange, daughter of the onetime Earl. I can tell thee my tale at another time, but for now I must ask – is thy fortress strong? I fear that an army may soon descend on thy castle, for I have seen them gathering in the west.”
By the way, there was no brown and green clad person with us, merely me and Ecila.
“Scum!” I scream at agagabagabag zepata. “Even with your forces, you shall never find I, man-gator!!! He shall continue to attack indirectly from the dark and blood will rain from the sky! No matter your forces. He shall scatter them and destroy them individually. Die!!!!” with that, i lunge at agagabagabag zepata ripping a pie grenade from the chest strap, and shove it at his face screaming.
“Oh, please.” l crouch down and deflect the grenade with my sword, sending it into one of the decoys. I kick C++D away.
“Come now, get your wits about you.” l shoot a purpleberry pie right at his face.
what decoy? i am the only one on I, man gators side for about half a mile.
after being kicked, i land about 2 feet away. as you shoot the purpleberry pie at my face, I roll in a circle and trip you. as you fall to the ground, i jump up, and two arms come out of my back pack unsheathing golf clubs of encrusted pecan. “The tables have juust turned, buddy,” i say cooly. I raise a golf club above his chest, and prepare to strick the final blow.
l thought you had a whole platoon.
“You wish.” I thrust my sword straight into his chest, then use the moment to push forward. I then take out my sword and run away. On second thought, l turn back.
“That shouldn’t kill him right away, but he’ll need some medical attention.”
I rush towards the op fortress.
“Let me in! lt’s agagabagabag zepata and a wounded prisoner!”
yes!! robotic arm!!!
?
Scratch that. It wouldn’t work.
l roll out from under him, but he shoves another grenade at me and we’re both knocked unconsious. It blows off C++D’s arm, but mine is in a cannon.
(This isn’t powerplay because it’s what C++D wanted. We’re on the fone.)
50 to the platoon… more like 11 were with me, so… some sort of section (10 men) and leader (me) plus one. elite section! yah!
it is all part of the plan…As the forces of Agagabagabag run past the trees on either side, multiple platoons spring out at them, a surprise attack! Each of the platoons draws a club and pie and both sides are locked in melee…
at least C++D respected his leader…
Come on. It may be a surprise, but they don’t stand a chance. All of these troops want the war to end, and they won’t stop fighting until it’s so.
Gwendolyn of the Eastern seas, you might want to get me before someone else does.
99- Yes, well, kiwimuncher materialized next to me in the hospital wing. That is the green and brown-clad person.
112- I can’t help you, I’m injured and you didn’t bring a communicator!
Narrowing my eyes, I spoke cordially to the Lady.
“My fortress is quite strong. I designed and built the place myself, and created all its security measures. I do not normally take kindly to nobility, but, seeing as you rescued my dear friend Ecilia, I will make an exception.
“As you observed, an army is coming, I would very much appreciate any help you can offer. They teach combat to their nobles in Orange, don’t they? Please inform me over dinner.
“If everyone would please situate themselves into the dormitories on the second floor? I have programmed innumerable decor selections, there are laptops, master bedrooms, and master bathrooms. I’m sure you’ll all want baths, because I would love one at this moment, and I’m not nearly a beat as some of you are. There are clothes in your closets.
“We’ll discuss what we are to do about the looming army at dinner. Everybody up!”
The motley crew trudged upstairs.
“Gwendolyn! I have returned, and I know what I, Man-gator is up to! If you’ll lend me 4 blueberry pies, a large rubber band, and a packet of ketchup, I will return with him as my captive. May I also remind you that I am second in command of the Vanilla troops? Oh, and the approaching army should be here by mid-day tomorrow, so I suggest that we situate our troops as soon as possible.”
114-I don’t know if you would know, because I don’t know if I know, you Know.111-Pshah. All your troops don’t have the training of mine. Plus I’ll have you at checkmate soon…hehe. I know what I am doing…and again, the troops of me are highly eqquiped. I can’t wait to see your huge army wipe out…
113- l yelled that l was here at the top of my lungs. Wouldn’t someone notice the massive army.
115- Double pshah. Yeah right.
I walked to the rooms indicated by Gwendolyn.
“Ungh…” rolls over griping head in agony…
A black silouette moves silently towards the fortress. A closer look would show people it is a uniform of gimanator splattered in black paint. The man is wearing a suitcase strapped to his back. As he gets closer he unloads his suitcase and plants large pies slowly at the base of the fortress. “Heh. Pretty smart. Creating a distraction and whatnot to bomb the place. Clever. Almost done with this side. Then I just gotta get away and press the button…”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I, the brown and green clad person shall go into the kitchens and assist the cooks because I LOVE cooking!
I walk toward the kitchen, smile at someone I don’t know who is also cooking. I pick up a cookbook and flip through a few pages, hoping for some kind of insperation.
OHHHHHHHHH! This recipe for a roast aouds fantastic………..
OOOFFFFF! (walking energetically around the room, I run into the wall)
*falls flat on my face*
*Looks up and sees a peice of paper the has fallen out of the cookbook*
OMG! I must show this to Gwendolyn! This is crucial information!
*Jumps up excitedly and runs toward the dining room to talk to Gwendolyn*
HEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!! Look out the freaking window before l either rot or get abducted!
I rubbed my temples tiredly. Piggy had materialized next to me. How did that keep happening?
“It’s all in the kitchen. Bring me back his head on a pike, soldier.” I grinned wearily as he dashed off. An army at my door, I thought. And we’re not ready to fight. I suppose it’s time to try that new security feature.
Shoving those thoughts for now, I walked into the dining room. Lady Cinnamoon was there waiting.
“I trust you find our accomodations well enough? Good.” I said to her.
We both took seats at topposite ends of the table.
“Please, tell me your story, Lady. I’ve found that there are any number of interesting ones belonging to the people in the fortress.”
She was about to begin when the green-brown-clad person burst in, holding a slip of paper.
“Gwendolyn!” she cried. I jumped up, startled.
“That’s General Gwendolyn to you, and just who are you, anyway?”
Then, the fort began to shake. I smelled flour. Pies.
“Oh, Zark, it’s happening!” I quickly got up from the table, running toward the security room as fast as my injuries would allow. The two newcomers exchanged glances and followed me. After a flight of stairs, we were there. Small tremors had continued throughout our ascent up into the higher levels of the fortress.
I rapidly pounded in code after code, trying to access a certain file. A few minutes later, I had found the file. Opening it, I hit an option button that was written in a special code. A huge boom shook the fortress. I heard plaster fall out of the ceiling. Voices of many people were shouting, confused and scared. The sound of something hooking on to the fortress.
“Oh, sweet bleeding bonobos!” I muttered under my breath.
Glowing screens flashed before our faces. Then, a crack. Like the ground being parted with something, which indeed it was
“You may want to lie down,” I said to the others, doing so myself. They stared, slightly confused. Then, a massive shift slammed them to the ground. Furniture crashed within the fortress, and people were screaming.
“This had better work!” I yelled, gritting my teeth.
going around the fort, right after the pies had started to hit, I found a person. trevor. I draged him in to the fort.
GWEN! DO SOMETHING!
What about C++D? Take him! Take him!
124-but he’s awake. And the fortress was (pie)bombed. Not pied.Yarr.
why is the pie war therd closed?
*pies everybody in the near and far vicinities and the ducks into the crowd in an effort to vanish*
127- penguini- we are tring a new aproch. no * pies * more ” I go in to the fort and find Jadestone.” you could say it’s and RPG.
As the pie bombs go off, I come back to my senses, and directly afterward, wish I hadn’t. “My arm…” I whisper. The only part left of my left arm is a bloody stump. I guess most of my arm up to above my elbow was blown off in the explosion of the pie grenade. Hopefully, I turn my head toward where agagabagabag was, but find he is nowhere in sight. He must have been found by his allies… lucky I wasn’t captured, I thought slowly to myself, as another throb of pain flies up the remainder of my arm, sending me back to the ground. I have to get to Gimanators base, or this could become serious, still thinking slowly because of the blast, I crawled slowly to the nearest tree, and the robotic arms pull me up. My legs legs shake as I release my weight on them, but they hold. “Darn… I must be in shock…” I say to myself slowly. I realize that a battle is occuring over in the trees to my right, so I slowly begin stumbling from tree to tree, avoiding the battle, and inch by inch, making my disoriented way towards the Gimanators base.
now lets go, samwise, before gangrene sets in!
129-the shire’s this way…
my favorite part is…
F:That’s it, sam! We’ll just wait for Lenard Nemoy and a bunch of hippy elf chicks to come and save the day!
S:I love you MR. Frodo.
F:Not now, sam.
and note:if you’re in shock you would pass out, but oh well…
125- He’s not awake.
131-he is too. that’s why he’s leaving.
I’m waiting for someone in the fort to fill in the blanks of my last post. Makes things a bit more interesting… *lurks*
dumm de dumm dum… i await the perfect time to post… *lurks#2*
131- ooh yes, tomorrow can you bring a copy of muse to school if you have it?
133-will do.
I stood at the top of the hill, reveiwing my work. It was interesting visiting a battlefeild that I had once been a part of. Naturally, I’m above that, now. C++D, my eargent seemed to be missing. Oh, well. If he was worth anything he should be able to get himself back. The op fortress was rumbling, but it didn’t seem to be bucking. I was surprised. The op side wouldn’t be able to afford a pie crust shock absorber, or would they. I pondered as it shook, the ceiling seemed to be caving in, but none of the building itself was actually coming down. I must take that into account next time…
oops. i meant seargent.
BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Umm…Sorry that I’ve been gone. Has Jade been here?
137- Jade has become a very sporadic poster, sadly.
well, I posted…
I screamed as the fort started to move, and I was thrown to the ground. Around me people were crying and shrieking. When the shifting and shaking stopped, I got up and went to the window. The country side was different.
Behind me, Gwendolyn clambered to her feet. I turned and asked,
“What
hathhast thou done?”[Thou art a Lady and should mind thy language. –ReB]
138- Oh dear. Well, then, whenever you think of the Jadestone side consider yourself pied by 42 pies from the pie cannons, and another 42 from the Pie-War Wolfs.
Not Wolves?
Fine, then. Fix my grammar. I did consider it, but thought that I’d just keep it as Wolfs. But, go ahead and change it. Who’m I to argue?
No, no, as long as you’ve thought about it. If it’s a deliberate editorial decision, I’ll respect that.
“Haha! It worked! I thought it hadn’t worked and we were going to die, but it worked!” I jumped up, dancing. My abdomen promptly started to ache. I stopped. Lady Cinnamoon looked at me strangely.
“Look out the window. Closely this time.”
She crossed over to the window at the other side of the room. As it was the security headquarters, it had only a small window, one that was barely noticeable. Outside were mounds of fluffy white stuff. They looked vaguely like whipped cream.
“We’re in the sky!” I exploded, barely able to contain my ecstasy at the success of this desparate attempt at escape.
“I had helped design the fort, but looking back over blueprints of its construction a bit before the Battle of Fort Jadestone, I saw that it had a major flaw: Op Fortress was very ill-prepared for a major onslaught of pie-crust shock. So I panicked, dreaming up all sorts of rather impractical security measures, only temporary fixes in the long run. And then I remembered the zeppelins. High above the fortress, I have zeppelins. Wondrous, massive zeppelins. I decided to equip them to lift the fortress should we ever be in a lot of danger from an attack. You see, this was much more efficient than tearing down the fortress and rebuilding it to be able to withstand that sort of thing. Now, here we fly, soaring up into the stratosphere!” I finished, grinning.
The green-brown girl was still lying on the floor.
“There is one problem, though. Op Fortress covered the only easily accessible entrance to the Pie Mines, where infinite pies can be found. So we were pretty much the only ones who were able to obtain the treasures within. But now, the entrance is wide open, and everyone can get ammunition.” I shifted rather uncomfortably, frowning at my own words.
Still in a daze, I half- consciously realize that I am near the hill that Gimanator’s base is camouflaged in. Upon reaching the side of the hill,
I wheeze ” Uuunghuhhh…” and loose consciousness, falling into a clump of bunch grass.
A man came to the door of his base. Looking down on the ground, he notices a man with one arm and half a mask on his face. “Feh. Pathetic Darkmage…at least you served long enough to let us get the base off the ground. The pie mines are open.” He lifts the man on the ground with one arm and brings him into the fort where a reconstruction of his arm is taking place. And Gimanator himself should be visiting…
Can someone remind me about the rules for when to use “eth” and “st” on the ends of words? I’ve forgotten.
“Canst thou design some device to cover the pie mines?
Thou knowest. He, she, or it knoweth. I, you, we, or they know.
Irregular: I am. Thou art. He, she, or it is. We, you, or they are.
A few with slightly odd spelling:
I have. Thou hast. He/she/it hath. We/you/they have.
I do. Thou dost. He/she/it doth. We/you/they do.
I say. Thou sayest. He/she/it saith. We/you/they say.
Auxiliaries:
I can. Thou canst. Everybody else can.
I will. Thou wilt. Everybody else will.
I shall. Thou shalt. Everybody else shall.
I would. Thou wouldst. Everybody else would.
I, the green and brown clad girl, am confused. Our fortress is being attacked and……..where’s the paper?
Where’s the peice of paper I found?!
WHERE IS IT?!
*frantically retraces my steps*
Oh NO!!!!!!!!!
*sees a seemingly harmless chipmunk eating THE paper*
You stupid chipmunk!
*grabs chipmunk and tries to wrestle the peice of paper that could save all of our lives from the jaws of the chipmunk*
I shall throttle you, you annyoying little pest!
I wake up in a pile of machinery, happy that I am not shrouded in pain. I look down at myself, checking to see what has stopped my blinding pain, and notice an IV drip in in my right arm, and … a left arm? No, it appears to be an arm, but upon closer inspection I notice that it is made of metal. Plus, when I try to move it, it slowly shifts two inches above the bed, and then flips back down. “I wouldn’t try that, if I were you,” says a man in a white lab jacket, as he opens a door in the side of the little room. “Your nerves and muscles haven’t completely attached to the mechanical components yet, so your arm will be unusable for a week or two.” “Oh,” is all I can manage to say in response. “Get some rest,” he says, “I will check on you in a while, if you need any thing, press the button next to your bed.” As he leaves the room, I find that I am very tired. Everything swirls around the room in a flurry of colors, then is encompased in darkness.
Err… Jadestone apologises for her absence, and has read this thread as fast as she could so she can join in on the action again.
I rushed into the security room, where Gwen seemed to be doing a rather energetic sort of jig, unsuitible for someone who was still supposed to be laying on a recovery bed. I gave her a meaningfull look, but said nothing. “Can someone please explain to me why we are suddenly airborn?” Judging from Gwen’s antics, this was likely planned, and not a move against us. But I was still curious as to how, even after spotting the thick metal cable welded to the corner.
still stuck in the ops fort, have gone in to the epty rooms and slept. I now awake, and see that we are airborn. running to the contorl room, I meet jadestone. we were both confused abut what has happened.
I rip the paper out of the chipmunk’s jaws and cuff it soundly on the head. The chipmunk falls on the floor in a faint. Oops. Well, it deserved it.
Oh dear. There is a big rip in the paper, but I think that I can peice it back together.
*fiddles with the paper and some ducktape*
Now to give it to Gwendolyn!
I’m back. What has transpired?
155- Um… Okay, so you disappeared, kiwimuncher appeared, and Cinnamoon and Ecila staggered through the doorway. Something was threatening to bring the fortress down, so Gwen pressed a button and we’re currently floating in th air beneath a bunch of balloons…or something. This means that the pie mines, which were blocked off by the Op fortress, are open to anyone.
156- Interesting development. I will reclaim what remains of my weaponry (being a pie cannon, a rhubarb six-shooter and a vanilla voulge) and parachute into the Mines. There are two possible outcomes. One, I, man-gator will ignore me, which will give me time to re-stock my arsenal and find a place to rebuild my fort, or two, Gator will send a strike team into the mines, in which case I will be able to trap them.
Three, Man-gator will capture you. Your plan is flawed, Prarilius Canix.
mmm- hum.
158- Not if I bring in a few maps of the Pie Mines with me. They’re devilishly complex, as I recall from the last pie war, and he won’t have any maps at his disposal.
Of course, Gwen may not be willing to give the maps to a former enemy, even a temporary ally. In that case, I will respect her wishes.
Or, I’m sure that a brilliant inventor like Gwen could instill the ink of the maps with a pheromone that causes short-term memory loss, so that they will be impossible to copy or memorize, and install an automatic self-destruct system that will burn the maps as soon as the alliance ends.
“If you say so,” I said doubtfully. I was too confused with the various events to work out the problems I could feel lurking below the surface of every plan in the room. Including my own.
“And so…the first place Gwen will try to get to is the mines. I’ll need to be ready if they try and come. But, they’ll notice from above if I send a team in…we’ll have to tunnel, to capture Gwen. Funny, PC seems to have dissapeared in his responses to my assaults, I wonder where he is…”
The Lieutenant bowed and left the room. Gimanator walked casually down the hall before turning to a room where he had recently been. And a good thing, too. He would have died from the explosion of the pie bomb if the medics couldn’t have reapaired his skull.
“Darkmage.”
Gwendolyn! Gwendolyn! I have retrieved the plans to getting us out of this whole big mess from an evil, deranged chipmunk! Please read it quickly! I don’t think that we have much more time!
l just noticed that thing on the regular pie war thread. l got a last post! That makes 3!
Something occured to me. ln essence, these pie wars have about which thread is better. No this is pie war had a succesor, and pie war died before one. lsn’t this over?
164- For a short period. Then chocolate vs. vanilla, then Jadestone dropped in, Chocolate died, Jadestone was decimated, but the Op showed up and kept them from being exterminated, a Vanillin went crazy and blew up the fort, and now the Vanilla, Jadestone and Op have a temporary and fragile alliance to beat the crazy Vanillin.
l know all that! l’m freaking in it! What l’m saying is that the reason two threads were there was because they were meant to compete against each other.
165- These two Blackberrians will add to the alliance.
And I shall fight on the side of the alliance.
yay! I’m a crazy vannilin! Actually I came from somewhere else, if anybody remembers the old vanilla thread…
169- You were originally a pastry pierate.
Furnished with maps, weaponry/provisions and sundry necessities, I parachuted into the Pie Mines without incident. My first target is a deep deposit of dutch apple crumb. If I continue on this southeast tunnel, I should soon reach it.
hmm… where am I from, you ask? I have no idea. I woke up in the middle of a battlefield, and was saved by Gimanator many years ago. Since then, I have been his loyal servant, until my memory comes back…
170) Wait…… I thought that you were on the vanilla side………. I’mconfused.
I still am. I have just parachuted into the Pie Mines to make more equipment, and with luck, trap a few enemies in there.
I looked around the control room. Many people had since gathered there, most swearing to fight for the Op… at least for the time being. I sat in a chair near a large panel of buttons and switches.
“Well,” I began.
“We’re very safe for the time being. Most of you now know that we are thousands of feet above the ground, a situation that was caused by myself, in an attempt to save the fort. It has worked so far, but there is a major repercussion: the Pie Mines are now exposed to virtually anyone and everyone, which will give our enemies access to an infinite supply of ammunition.
“We needn’t worry about running out of any supplies soon. The zeppelins currently carrying us, and others, are loaded with food and munition as soon as we run out here, which won’t happen for awhile. I prepared for this possibility a bit back.
“You are all a courageous bunch. I know we have literally flown away from the situation, and are losing this fight to a dangerous enemy, but your loyalty and bravery will triumph in the end.”
PraCan suddenly appeared in our midst. Everybody exclaimed loudly. I just raised an eyebrow. I was used to these rematerializations by now.
174- oh, i thought the base was being sucked to underground safetey, not fly away…
……..
“AH! MY ARM!!!!” I yelled as the man in the lab coat stuck a needle in my arm. “Don’t worry. It has only been a few days, the way this is going, you will be fine in a week or less.” He said. But that didn’t change the searing pain of hundreds of nerves reconnecting to metal.
After doing considerable repairs and tweaks of my left arm, he proceeded to check my face. The wonders you can do with medicine and metal, I thought. Finaly, he was through, and he was able to change the medicine in the IV drip to have me go to sleep, finaly… I was able to halt the day, and stop them asking questions, the pain… escape the pain… ecp h an. … *SSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNOOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE*
now I’m bored. Nim- nim-nim-nim-nimh!
“Sir.”
“Yes, Liutenant.”
“Our troops are actually having trouble finding the entrance to the pie mines, where Gwendolyn should come through, sir.”
“What? You can’t even find your way through the mines?”
“They are very complex, sir, we have at least marked the walls of where we dug, sir.”
“Drat…fool…just keep digging up…you might have some luck…”
l woke up in a cell, without any weapons. Kelshino probably had them. Good boy.
l soon realized that there was one thing they had missed.
l pulled out a tiny knife and grinned.
The deposit is very rich. I have constructed several varieties of weaponry from dutch apple crumb, and also built a small Tunnel-Runner 1000 (TR1K). The TR1K has eight rows of wheels on telescopic poles all the way around it. The poles extend and contract to compensate for irregularities. It also has four side-mounted dutch apple crumb launchers (DACLs) in case of attack. This should give me an advantage over Gimanator’s forces.
Goodness gracious! No one seems to understnad the importance of this small undersized and chewed up peice of paper. but something MUST be done about it!
Hmmmmmmmm.
I know! I shall deal with it myself! *walks off feeling only slightly confident*
Some time had passed. PraCan was going on a mission to the Pie Mines to try to confront some of our enemies. I bid him farewell, equipping him with the Op’s finest weapons.
Trying to gather the whole of the castle downstairs for dinner, the green-brown girl, who had disappeared shortly, dashed back with a mangled note in her hand. She gave it to me, panting. I read the note’s message.
“What? This doesn’t make any sense!” I said, waiting for her to elaborate.
“And you still haven’t told me what your name is, or where you come from. You have some explaining to do, miss.”
The Tall man walked slowly down the hallway. His face was made of metal, and he had no lips or nose. He slowly approached a cell, with two heavily armed bodygaurds behind him. Quickly, he turned. “Zepata. Recognize me?” was stated, after a short series of screeching metal clicks that must have been laughing. Zepata was leaning over a small object. “Use the knock out, I want to see what that is, you didn’t miss any weapons, did you?”
Gass spurted from the walls of the cell as a glass covering slid over the bars. No escape.
180- aren’t you excentric.
Powerplay! Powerplay!
Actually…
“Okay, okay. Here, take it.”
l make as if to give it to him.
Pracan, help?
so wait, my face was blown off, too? ok. you are in for some pain in the possibly-near-future, agag. *metalic clicks that resemble laughter*
185-eh…no
184-the gas wasn’t powerplay, you could have hidden it, but whatever…or broken out, at that moment, but whatever…
184- I don’t even know where you are.
The TR1K is extremely fast. I’m making my way through the deposit of apple and coming into an area of various berry crystals. Some of them seem to be emanating energy. I collected three.
Muffled booms were coming from the south. Gimanator’s forces must be digging into the pie mines. “Let them,” I muttered, and scattered walkie-talkies across the path of my TR1K, setting them to simultaneous broadcast and transmit on all wavelengths. I then played a few minutes of recorded Op radio chatter into the one walkie-talkie I had left, setting it on repeat. Now it would sound like the tunnels were full of Op soldiers. I hoped that his forces would fall for the bait. For good measure, I left behind a series of choice traps.
I piloted the TR1K into a nearby secluded cave filled with key lime deposits. Here I could work on building a pie weapon with the crystals. A Lingonberry Lime Laser…
Use the tunnel runner to find gim’s fort, and get me out of the cell!
188- First, I don’t even know where Gim’s fort is. Second, it’s aboveground, so the TR1K wouldn’t be able to run efficiently to get there. Third, I probably couldn’t get past his defenses.
The good news is, in the famous words of Henry the Forty-Second, “Anything is possible with Lingonberry.”
Obviously, you somehow obtain that information and tunnel under the fort and through the floor.
Eh- hem. Ishshshshshesheshshe!
mmhmmhmn mwahaehashshshe!
*coughs* hahahahahhahahahahhhashshshshahahahahahhahahahahaaha!!!
*is working on evil laugh*
C++DM must go now, so he can watch lord of the rings.
oksogoodbyenow!
The Lingonberry Lime Laser is one of the most devastating pie weapons invented to date. Three large lingonberry pieon-emitting crystals are set in a mixture of key lime filling and energized plasma, all contained within a pietanium tube. It fires a purplish-green beam of energy that immediately transforms into huge numbers of lingonberry lime pies when it hits a solid or liquid. Gases are not affected by it.
The LLL is about five feet long, and gets its energy from a mixture of geothermal heat and solar power.
Good for you. Now locate the base and get me out of here!
Please?
I wrote 192 so that the havoc I’m going to cause while rescuing you won’t seem like a spur-of-the-moment powerplay.
193- heh. no chance. ishshsheshsheshshe.
Cool. Thanks.
I’m bored, so I’m going to plan something. We’re trying to defeat Gim, right?
Okay. I thought so.
Alice took Ecila by the arm and led her to a corner of the room, where she bent over and whispered in her sister’s ear.
“No!” gasped Ecila. “You’re not serious!”
“Your friend whatsisname–”
“Canix?”
“Mmhmm, well, he’s doing something, and Gwen’s doing something, and that girl who keeps babbling on about paper and chipmunks, she’s doing something–if she’s not completely mad–and I’m feeling like an invalid sitting here doing nothing!”
“But you are an invalid, of sorts, and–”
“Not that much of an invalid. It hardly hurts. The sooner this is over, the sooner we can go home.”
“But Alice–we can’t go home, that’s the thing.”
“Well, go to Nectarine, that’s home sort of, and everyone else will be there. But we promised to help, so we have to HELP.”
“But not like this!”
“How, then? Come on. You knew this fellow, maybe you can convince him to snap out of it.”
Ecila tried to protest, but Alice ignored every one of her arguments, and soon she was forced to give in.
“But we must tell Gwen and the others,” she insisted.
“Oh, fine, I suppose.” In truth, Alice was glad to tell them. She had an inkling that they might need rescuing in a little while.
She jumped on a chair and then on to the table, wincing inwardly at the thought of her shoes on an eating surface.
She cleared her throat. “Ecila and I are going to infiltrate the fort of Gimanator, where we will work as spies for this Alliance.”
My apologies, Canix, for referring to you as Whatsisname. Alice (Blackberry Alice, that is) hasn’t really retained your name.
Actually she hasn’t really retained ANYONE’S name. She forgot Gim’s, too, only I forgot to put that in.
Maybe the bump on the head is more serious than we thought . . .
Oooh. Fun. *plot cauldron bubbles ominously*
182) What does excentric mean?
*sighs*
OK! I am kiwimuncher, the person that joined the Vanilla side…….ummmmmmm……. in the last thread. Remember me? I was the one who accidently destroyed the giant pie robot thing. Well, anyway, I was looking in a recipe book and I found this peice of paper. Unless I am verymuch mistaken, it holds the plans for turning all of our enemies pies against them! This could be the greatest discovery in all pie history!
“But before l give it to you, thank me for it.”
“What?”
“You heard me! And you too!” l pointed to his guards.
Actually, I’m not doing anything either.
A small party of Gimanator’s men broke in on me. One hurled a pie grenade, but I blew it out of the air with the LLL. Then I hit them all in quick succession, burying them under lingonberry lime pies.
One of them, possibly the leader, was carrying a portable personal computer. He was pretty forgetful, or so I thought because he wrote the password on his hand. There was no classified information on the hard drive, to my disappointment, but there was a list of recently captured prisoners. As I scrolled through it, I gasped. There, on the top of the list, was agagabagabag zepata!
(Note: How I remember agagabagabag: A gag. A bag. A bag. It’s easy.)
“How about no zepata, you deserve no respect.”
“Take it from him.”
The bodygaurd put on a thick glove that stretched halfway down his forearm. Pressing a button on the wrist a half inch long needle snapped out the thumb. The gaurd’s arm flew and jabbed the needle straight into zepata’s wrist.
“Tranqulizer poison, it should take effect in 7, 6, 5, 4…”
203-I was having them loose as part of the storyline…but they’s put up a little bit more of a fight, you know. they’re all highly trained…
Shhh! lt’s a secret! That’s correct, tho.
200-oh yeah, it means like, really hyper and excited.
205- They’re only a small group, and I had the high ground. Otherwise I’d never have been able to beat them. But I will make victories a closer shave in future.
206-you talking to me, paralyzed boy?
“good. we will continue to the fort, following you. after you have stop all incoming pies, tell us, leave the fort, and we will drop on it, destory I,man-gator and his crew. who knew that pie war was so deadly?” I say to alice and elica.
I had had a hard time beating even this small force. Without reinforcements, it would be impossible to rescue agagabagabag. I thought for a moment, then called the Op fort.
” hello, p.c.” I say in to the mic ” long time no talk.”
“Agagabagabag is trapped in Gimanator’s fort. Alert Jadestone and Gwen, then put them on conference, please. We need to make a plan.”
Superfast moderation. Literally about ten seconds.
beep. the phone goes to conference.
207- Um, no. If excentric is merely eccentric spelled differently, it means this: 1 a : deviating from an established or usual pattern or style b : deviating from conventional or accepted usage or conduct especially in odd or whimsical ways
209- No. Paralyzed?
i have no purpose in the storyline right now, so i’m bored.
Nim- nim- nim nim- nimh.
Look, l’m not kidding. Stop the nim-nim-nimming. Whenever l tell you something like this, you laugh. This must end.
217-didn’t you read my post? They stuck the needle in your wrist…
216-oh. heh. oopsie. Sorry about that Alice, it was just my explination in a nutshell…
What? That’s absurd! That was my only chance!
Actually…
“Pffft, that all you got? l have a poison resistance from being on pie isle for 13 years. You may have numbed my arm a bit, but l deserve some respect. Thank me.”
What?
Confusion reigns.
“Hello, Jadestone, GOTES. Here’s the situation. Agagabagabag is trapped in Gimanator’s fort. We need to rescue him somehow. I am in the pie mines with a newly invented high-power pie weapon. Any suggestions?”
” go near I,man-gators fort. as soon as we can get agagabagabag out of the fort, we will land on It. this might, or might not, kill him.
My communicator crackled slightly, then gave me a fuller transmission. It was PraCan. I dismissed the green-brown girl. I had half a mind to chuck her from the castle right then and there at 30,000 feet, annoying little trespasser.
“What is it, Prarilius?” I asked. He told me of Ag’s debacle, and of the new weapon he created.
“Well, congratulations on infiltrating the mines, and building the weapon. I would love to see it when I get the oppurtunity. Ag’s trapped again?” I sighed, shaking my head.
“Give me a minute.” I put the communicator on low.
“Lady Cinnamoon? Would you please come here for a minute?”
She crossed over to me, inquiring about what I needed.
“Do you have any reconassaince experience?” I asked, grinning slyly.
Just then, Alice and Ecilia came up to me. I smiled warmly at them.
“What is it, you two? Do you need anything?”
Alice took a deep breath. “We’re going to go infiltrate Giminator’s fort, where we will work as spies for the alliance.”
Ecila looked uncomfortable. “The sooner this is over, the better,” she said. “So we might as well do something.”
I stared at them for a second, frozen. I gave a resigned sigh a moment later.
“Tell me your plans exactly, and I may let you go,” I said, bracing myself. Ecilia was as docile as pies were important, but when Alice had a project in her mind… this was going to be pretty crazy. But we needed all the help we could get.
Hmmm…I was just skimming this thread…there’s actually something interesting happening!
Anything I should know that I might have missed?
The Great and Wholly Sugar-filled Empire of Zemtee ≈∫π∫≈ © may wish to join. Open to new members.
Thank you!
Red-tailed HAWK
≈∫π∫≈ ©
HAWK! Buddy! Thank zark you’re here! Just make your first appearence in gim’s fort and save me!
“A plan?” echoed Alice. “I haven’t got a plan. I just want to do something. I hate being an invalid.”
Ecila threw a frantic glance at Gwen. She clearly thought it dreadfully foolish of Alice to go running around spying on people so soon after being hit on the head, but she knew there was no hope of convincing her sister of this fact, and if Alice was doing something, foolish or not, it was her duty to follow.
“Gwen,” she said uncomfortably. “I think we need to talk.”
Even with the lowered volume, I could catch a vague idea of the plans being discussed, and I thought that Alice was being rather foolish. However, I knew that Ecila was the more cautious of the two, and she would probably curb her sister’s enthusiasm.
I gazed at Alice. On the inside, I knew how she felt; I wanted to be the one parachuting into the Pie Mines, fighting enemies with my inventions. Instead, I had to keep the fort from coming down, and help all the people who had come to find temporary sanctuary from their enemies. And I had to heal from the wounds brought on by combat.
Of course, plotting historically won over strength, but battle was where the real grit of war was: the tears, the sweat, the blood, the honor, the courage. It’s something all natural-born warriors wanted.
But we couldn’t go running into this. I nodded curtly to Ecilia.
“Alice, Lady Cinnamoon, will you please excuse us for a moment? I’m terribly sorry,” I said, walking out of the control room with Ecilia. We strided down the hall to one of the conference rooms. I led her in, locking the door.
“This room is soundproof, so they wont be able to hear us,” I stated as I busied myself with nothing in particular. I slowly went to hug Ecilia. She was practically my sister, after all, and I hadn’t gotten much of an oppurtunity to express my gladness at her return.
“I missed you,” I proclaimed simply. Composing myself to military posture, I took on a more serious tone.
“As much as Alice is a brave, honorable girl, she has no idea what she is getting into. I’m not entirely opposed to the idea; on the contrary, I think it would be quite useful to have spies amongst Gimanator’s ranks. But to do this, we need a logical plan, and you were always the most logical of us three. Please tell me what you had in mind.”
“look, we have to smash I,man-gator’s fort. with this fort, if possible.”
meh- heh heh ihehshishshshshshshe! you have no chance of escape, agag!!!
ishshsheshshe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I wrung my hands. “I didn’t have anything in mind, but we’ve got to keep Alice from doing this! Like you said, she has no idea what she’s doing, and Alice can’t act if her life depends on it! She overdoes it!” I bit my lip. “We do need a plan. If we had a plan, this might actually work. But the thing is, I never knew Gimanator very well, and I don’t know how he’s changed.”
I thought a moment. “In the kitchens at Nectarine I always heard interesting things. The best disguise might be a kitchen worker; you’d be surprised what the kitchen workers find out. Or you wouldn’t,” I added, remembering the times Gwen had gone with me to fetch dinner or help wash dishes.
“But I’m not sure that I want Alice to get involved in this,” I said. “We’ll see. Any way to mprove the plan?”
I waited outside the room with Alice.
“Dost thou have a plan for thy expedition?”
“You never cease to amaze me, zepata. I am truly surprised. Gassing you at this rate might not work then…we’ll deal with you by force.” I lifted a golf club and backed up as my bodygaurds closed in.
237-
“No,” I said. “No plan. I’ll work it out as I go along.”
wow. Alice must’ve really lost her marbles, but I’m insane, so who am I to speak?
240- Yeah, I’m really not sure what’s going on with this. But who cares?
“You need a back story. People get curious about kitchen maids, too. Of course, that shouldn’t surprise you.
“Let’s think. We could probably pass you off as a twenty-year-old woman. And believe it or not, you look a bit like a Mint nomad girl. We’d need a little bit of… well, let’s just call it my own special brand of “make-up”… to play up the features that resemble Mint nomads the most. A slightly broader nose, a more square chin, and wider eyes. You’d look exactly like the stereotype of one. Of course, we’d have to dye your hair that shade of blue-green-blond that they all have. And your name could be Imuna, a deaf and dumb girl. If you were to play the part convincingly, so much information could pass to you.
“And as hard as it will be for me to say this to her, Alice shouldn’t come. She has that temper, and would give you two away the second someone irritated her. Besides, as you said, she can’t act.”
I sighed, shaking my head.
“I just don’t feel good about sending you back out there this early, let alone separating you from Alice.”
238- “Oh for crying out loud. Before you kill me, l have one last request. Thank me. All of you.”
Agagabagabag kept on trying to have me thank him, but as he babbled, my bodygaurd took a hefty swing at his jaw.
243-note. I’m not having you killed yet. We’re going to torture you to get the information out of you.
I spoke into the communicator again. “If Ecila is going to infiltrate the fortress as a kitchen maid, this opens up a new web of possibilities. Gwen, perhaps you could equip her with some weapons and communication devices disguised as cleaning paraphernalia. Then, once she’s found out where Ag’s kept, she can inform me. She’ll cause a distraction, drawing Gim’s forces away from the cells. Then I’ll tunnel under the right one, blast my way through with the 3L, and rescue Agagabagabag.
I smiled, glad that Gwen and Canix approved, but still nervous. “That may work, as long as I don’t have to shoot anyone,” I said in response to Canix’s suggestion, and then I turned to Gwen. “I’ll be fine, Gwen, but it’s Alice I’m worried about. She won’t take this well.”
“Oh, by the way, I also built a weapon which would work well in conjunction with the Crustiness Katana. I call it the Key West Lime Wakizashi.”
Ah, its been so long since i got on here. I am Pie Master Cheif
≈∫π∫≈ ©
WHAT INFORMATION? WHAT INFORMATION???!?!?!?!?!? *frantically pies his way into Gim’s fort*
What is happning? *blasts through multiple walls of fort with high-powered pie-crumb blaster*
HAWK
249- Powerplay.
247- Pwnsome. l picked up some samurai skills in Musica.
l dodge the club.
“Fine, here’s the deal. l tell you what you want to know, and all three of you thank me. But l keep the shank until you thank me.”
“Alice, think of thy sister! If thou hast no plan, what will become of her? Methinkes she does not have thy initiative.”
“Sounds interesting, PraCan. As soon as the oppurtunity presents itself, I’ll have to come down and test the wakizashi. Pie straight from the mines is potent stuff, so I have no doubt it’s sufficiently powerful.
“And wonderful idea about the cleaning supplies. I’ll have to take it into consideration.” I turned to Ecilia.
“Hopefully you won’t have to shoot anyone. You’re a planner, one who thinks out each action carefully. This is what makes you so wonderful for this job. Alice isn’t going to be pleased, however, as stated before.
“Well, let’s go out and announce the plans, shall we?”
I am now determined to go searching for the secret pie weapon that is described on this paper I found! It is apparently hidden in the depts of this fortress!
*goes off looking*
“so I geuss we can’t smush his fort? what do we do while shes spying?”
“I’ll look after her,” I said confidently to Lady Cinnamon Moon. “She’s very careful.”
“I have an idea. I’ll use this soldier’s computer to email you the chemical formulae for two substances. One is a mint perfume, and the other is a cleaning liquid. Both would look fairly innocent when carried by a cleaning lady from Mint. But when mixed, they create a potent liquid called pieoform. When pieoform contacts metal or plastic, it becomes a powerful acid, and when it comes into contact with an organic substance, it releases a sedative gas. I think it would be useful to Ecila. And it’s non-fatal, unless you happen to be a robot.”
After the many hours of being treated upon the end of the first week, they let me wander in the fortress, and talk to my men. They seemed happy to see me, and showed me many wonderful weapons, including the cherry staff of crusty magicks, and the oh- so feared crossbow of vanilla creme, wich I found to be perfect for the current state I was in, since an encrusted golf club was too much of a strain for me to swing. In the middle of the second week, I asked to be allowed to help in the torture of Zepata, and assembled many harmful devices to make him suffer.
“Top-notch idea, Prarilius. I’ll equip her with listening devices in the storage room. I should have something… Now, out to tell Alice the news.”
I shuddered, bracing myself. Opening the door, I found Alice and Lady Cinnamoon in conversation. They looked up as we came out. Alice’s face hardened, and the Lady looked up, curious.
“We have come to a decision. Ecilia, the courageous person that she is, has volunteered to infiltrate Gimanator’s stronghold and gather intelligence as a cleaning woman from Mint.”
I sighed, meeting Alice’s eyes directly.
“I’m sorry, Alice, but we have come to a consensus that you are unsuited for such a mission.”
I waited with trepidation for the ensuing explosion that would come from her.
It did not take long. “WHAT?!?!?” she shrieked. “But–you CANNOT DO THAT! Why do you think I came up with the plan in the first place? So I could DO something, not sit around! I can’t believe it!” She burst into tears.
Ecila had opened her mouth to say something, but she closed it when her sister began to cry. Evidently she did not want to upset her further.
Why would you torture me? l’m talking!
There was a lot of screaming going on in the background. “Gwen?” I called. “Are you being attacked?”
“No, PC, but I might just be. Stick around,” I said sarcastically into the communicator. I turned to Alice. Her face was tear-streaked, her eyes red and crazy. She screamed again, lunging at me. I stepped out of the way, letting her crash to the floor.
“Alice,” I began quietly. “Alice, you can’t go acting like this. It’s terribly juvenille. You have to understand. While you are a very clever girl, and a very brave, loyal one, you have a quick temper. This would give you and Ecilia away quite easily. It would also be far more conspicuous if we had two spies planted there instead of one. That’s twice the chance of us being discovered. Lastly, you are not an actress. In all honesty, you don’t know enough about yourself to be someone else. Ecilia, however unconfident and taciturn she may seen, realizes who she is, and is peaceful with that. You have yet to accept who you are. As strange as it sounds, it’s true. And I know you want to make yourself useful. But you must be reasonable, and think of better ways to make use of your talents.”
She glared at me reproachfully from the floor, tears still streaming down her face. She crossed her arms and furrowed her brow.
“I expected better of you, Alice,” I stated, deadly quiet.
I heard just enough of the conversation to feel uncomfortable, while not enough to gain any real information from it, so I switched off the communicator and began calculating the chemical formulae for pieoform.
“But you don’t understand!” I cried. “I’ve always envied you, with your adventures, but I had to stay cautious and not get into any adventures ’cause I didn’t want my family to go revolt again! But now I actually have an opportunity to DO something, and you’re not letting me do it!”
“okay, what do you want to know?”
Alice, l suggest you stumble across my backpack. you might find something of interest there.
266- Okay. But what?
I was leavin’ that up to you.
I finished calculating the formulae for pieoform and emailed them to Gwen with a postscript: “I also suggest disguising a Staff of Naturally and Artificially Sweet Victory as the handle of a mop.”
I’ll take this opportunity to describe the Key West Lime Wakizashi, or KWLW. It is a short, curved sword in the Japanese style. A small lump of compressed key lime is embedded in the pommel, endowing it with its power: the Citrus Shock.
Have you ever drunk pure lime juice? Very sour. Now imagine that sensation, a million times stronger and all over your body. That is the result of being wounded with the KWLW. The effect is somewhat like an electric shock: a direct blow at the height of its charge is probably enough to knock an opponent across the room. It works best used in conjunction with the Katana of Crustiness.
Excellent. l need one of those and a katana of crustiness when l get out of here.
I have started my search in the fortress kitchens, where I first found the paper. The strange cook smiled at my friendily. Hmmmmmm. Who is that anyway?
I found nothing, so I picked up the cookbook in which I found the peice of paper in the first place. The cookbook, alas held no more information, though it did have the recipe for the pork in it still. I shall make a note to come back and cook that later.
I was about to close the cookbook when I found the page that the peice of paper had been in. It was covered with crude drawings of cows and…………was that a peice of broccoli? A strange recipe involving live cows? Ummmmmmmm.
*turns book upside down*
Uhhhhhhhhhh. No! Crude drawings of cows and a waterfall.
what?
*turns book again*
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. Crude drawings of cows and a tree.
*head hurts*
Oh well. Perhaps these drawings are just random doodles.
The smile on the strange cooks face was starting to creep me out, so I left in haste. I walked up a flighht of stairs and was instantly transfixed by………….a carving of a cow on the wall. Interesting. Coincedence? Perhaps someone was simply obbsessed with cows.
I move on and see nothing more, so I decide to stop for dinner. I go into the dining room and see everyone else stopping to eat. Alice has a rather angry look on her face, so I suppose that her spy idea has not gone well for her. An awkward silence stretches across the table. Gwendolyn and Ecila are looking at Alice in anguish and Alice is……….ignoring them very angrily. Oh my. I’m not very good in
confrontations.
l like cows…
I stood up. Alice glared. I had been pointedly ignoring her since the mysterious green-brown girl had called us down for dinner. I cleared my throat, looking around the room.
“Now, everyone, I know that today has been a most… eventful, shall we say, day. Many of you have just joined us here. We have been launched high into the sky. A few of our number are out in the field, and a few are about to be. I have an announcement to make, regarding the arrival of a few people.
“If Lady Cinnamoon and our mysterious green-brown woman will please meet me in the conference room near the security chamber after dinner, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. That is all.”
I sat down again, spooning some French onion soup into my mouth. Alice continued to stare daggers at Ecilia and I. Next to me, I felt Ecilia shudder slightly.
I took a bit of my soup, but I could hardly taste it. “She’s never been this mad at me,” I whispered to Gwen. “It’s awful! Imagine half of your own mind refusing to talk to you! It’s horrid!” I took another spoonful, trying not to break down in the middle of dinner. It was really quite good. If only Alice wold forgive me!
” the pieform recipe is coming!”
l gave an idea. Stop the rescue.
“Allright, l admit that the whole thanking thing was a stall for time. Rasha vashune alla varishka!”
Nothing happened.
“Turn on your walkie-talkie.”
One of the guards did.
“…stables broken into and set on fire. And Zepata’s horse escaped.”
“Tsk. Don’t they know a pwnie when they see one?”
“And the armory is also on fire!” said the walkie. “And zepata’s weapons weapons and backpack are gone! There’s are streak of fire flying around! lt’s heading for-”
Piero crashed thru the wall behind me followed by kelshino.
“Let’s ride, boy!”
Piero threw flaming pies at my captors.
“Piero, there’s one last thing l want you to do…”
As my master requested, l broke through the forts walls and grabbed a man with four arms; three of which were metal.
One of my posts is gone!
Well, what happened is that piero broke in, got me, kelshino and my weapons out, and grabbed C++DM.
l rode back to the fort and pushed the intercom button.
“Gwen, lt’s me. First off, cancel all plans to rescue me. Second, are you aware that this massive army outside your gates is your’s?”
Please stop the zapping! l beg of you!
After dinner, I walked to the conference room.
“I know. But she has to be mature about this. If I can’t trust her to stay calm about something like this, how can I trust her to stay calm when lives could be in the balance? I want to teach her something, and I won’t send her off to be killed,” I whispered to Ecilia. Alice continued to glare at us.
On the way to the conference room with Lady Cinnamoon and the green-brown girl, my communicator crackled with Ag’s voice.
“Gwen, lt’s me. First off, cancel all plans to rescue me. Second, are you aware that this massive army outside your gates is yours?” I halted.
“Ag! How did you get out? Where are you? Never mind, tell me later. And are you aware that Op Fortress no longer has any gates, and that we are hovering in the sky at thirty thousand feet? Oh, dear. I’ll call PraCan at once- he’s down there, looking for you. Maybe I can tell him to bring you back up. E-mail me about what happened, I’m a bit preoccupied at the moment. Listen, though. I don’t want you taking any risks. Find somewhere safe to stay for now. I’ll send PraCan out to find you as soon as possible. Zark, I’ve been so worried, but I knew you were capable enough! I’ll talk to you soon. So long for now!”
I rapidly typed an e-mail to Prarilius informing him of the recent events, and read his excellent suggestion about the mop. By the time all this was done, we were in the conference room, seated.
“Right. I have a few questions for the two of you. Most urgently, I must know, who are you, green-brown-clad stranger? What is your story? From what land do you hail? If you fail to answer these questions, I will not hesitate to throw you out of the fortress and let you crash to the ground. For Lady Cinnamoon, all I want to know is a bit more background information.”
I, the green-brown-cald girl am kiwimuncher. My story? I am an ex-chef that has now taken to wandering around the threads. I came upon the great clan of vanilla and instantly liked it, so I joined. I hail from everywhere, seeing as I’m not from particularly anywhere.
By the way, does this castle have any connection to cows?
277-hold on, hold on…my internet was down.
Zepata had dodged and admitted to stalling, when a burst of flame came through the brick wall, and a pwnie gallopped after it. I yelled out loud, but backflipped the opposite direction, as the two gaurds were engulfed in flame. In an instant the pwnie was over me, and without thinking, my extra arms grabbed onto his underbelly, we were riding, and ag was calling gwen, looks like I’m riding underside…hehehe
Interesting.
Sorry, GAPAs. lt looked like my comments wuz eaten.
“Gwen, l have a prisoner. He’s the sentry who captured me. Let’s take off his mask and have a look at him.”
lt was quite hard to get whatever was on him off, but we managed.
l gasped at recognizing my old friend.
“Does anyone have a device that can restore memories?”
285-when did the xarcu come in?
apparently, ag had caught a decoy. Drat. Oh well, they weren’t that big of a deal. If the decoy was any good, he’d be able to figure it out.
“If thou wante
thst miney tale, I shall give it to thee, although I fear it is not merrie. I was born in the land of Orange, where my good father was a duke. Three years ago, methinkes, a eville earl overthrew our king. My parents formed a resistence and fought the wicked earl. They sent me away for my own safety. I know not if they still be alive.”*Sneaks in, PIES, and gives the character in 287 a pat on the shoulder, then goes and sits in a corner. * Pie. Pie. PIE. pie. I¨m so sad for you.
What has happened?
286- Yesterday.
“I see. Kiwimuncher, it is lovely to have you. But I am afraid this is not the Vanilla side. We are one of their allies, The Op. The commander, Prarilius Canix, is currently on the ground, doing some work. However, we are housing many Vanillains at the moment. And, to my knowledge, this fortress has no connection with cows. I consider my knowledge adequate, considering I designed parts of this fort myself.
“Lady Cinnamoon, yours is a sad story, and it is wonderful that you still have the will to fight, and, more importantly, the will to live. You are a courageous person. I myself never knew my parents. As a second daughter in North Apple society, I was given up to the government for them to do what they would with me. Your parents seem splendid people, and we can only hope they remain alive.
“Now, my question to you both is what you can do by means of combat.”
the pwnie bounced up and down for a moment. looking ahead, op fortress appeared. my plan was about to take action…
No one was answering me. l wandered off to the engineering section. On a counter,l found a device on a counter labeled-
The memory restorer.
l descended to the dungeons where l found our prisoner. l zapped him with the device, and whispered, “Darkmage! Trevor! Triumvirate! Gim turned evil!”
His eyes snapped open.
“I am best at supplying pies for troops to throw, although I can throw them well myself”
Oh god, I’ve missed so much. I wish I had time to read through this, because I’ve missed a lot and feel terrible. But I don’t have the time currently, so I read the recentish stuff and from what I’ve learned Ecila was going to go be a spy, Alice was upset, but then Ag got ou anyway so she doesn’t need to be. And some other stuffins.
Anyway, can I come back in now? I was still in Gwen’s fortress last time, but I don’t know if something went on or what…
I seem to have a problem. The Op fortress is still in the air, whereas I am deep in the Pie Mines. I can’t get to it without being pied down by Gimanator’s forces.
295- Come on back. Op Fortress is waaaaaay up in the sky now. I was kinda wondering what I would do if you never came back… You’re still in the fort, though.
296- Put it in story form and I’ll see what I can do for you.
I turned to Lady Cinnamoon.
“Well darlin’, we don’t do a whole lot of fussing with raw pies as weapons, but, there is an important job to be done. As far as I can determine, it will be unsafe to return to Op Fortress’s original site. What would you say to a job retrieving ammunition from the Pie Mines to fuel the war?”
“Hello?” I said, turning on my communicator. “Now that Ag is free, I will need some way to return to the Op fortress without Gimanator spotting me. Any suggestions?”
291) I have created a super duper cheesy weezy pie gun! It’s awesome!
OMG!!!!!! I have found the meaning of the cows! In order to find the great pie weapon, I must think like a cow! For I have found 2 clues related to cows!
Hmmmmm. I’ve also fond a clue resembling a peice of broccoli / a tree / a waterfall. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh Well! It doesn’t matter! What would a cow do in this situation?……….
…………….
…………….. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm………………..
…………….
……………
Factoids!
” um… do we have a fire latter?” I ask goes
Just as C++DM awoke, there was an awful commotion in the stables.
Gimanaor was looking dazed, and kelshino kept kicking him.
“Gwen, l got a prisoner!”
l knocked him out with my cannon.
301-you idiot! that would not happen! *sighs*
you even misspelled my easy-to-spell name…
ag had dropped off his pwnie in the stables and taken darkmage with him. Leaving the animal, I soon realized how it had payed attention to the surroundings. Normally I wouldn’t credit animals with that much, but I received a broad kick to the face. The metal dented in on my mask, and vision was obscured from one eye. I saw the pwnie reeling up for another kick, but I grabbed the leg and snapped it. The pwnie cried out loudly in pain, and I realized that ag would come back. I hissed to myself at the stupidity of not taking his pwnie into acount, and punched through the wall, and dashing out. By the time ag returned I would be gone.
there. happy? we each sorta get what we want. kinda. if you ask me, the uber strong evil military captain would be able to outwit a clever sidekick animal.
“If that is if thou wishes me to do, I shall do it with no complaint”
301- Ag! Find a logical way to get up to the fort before parading about with your powerplayed captive, will you?
Prarilius Canix telephoned in with a message requesting a way to return to the fort without being seen, shortly after my conversation with Lady Cinnamoon.
“Hm. That is a bit tricky, but I believe I have a plan. What would you say to being retrieved by Ladt Cinnamoon?” I asked.
The Lady grinned. Her first official assignment.
“I’ll call you back in a few minutes, PC,” I said, switching off the communicator. I whispered the rough outlines of a plan into Cinnamoon’s ear, making sure Kiwimuncher didn’t hear. I had enough problems with people wanting to go on missions they were unsuited for that day.
I’m leaving the plan to your imagination, CinnaMoon. Go crazy.
Most excellent.
I armed myself, putting my Rhubarb Six-Shooter into my belt on one side and the KWLW on the other. Bracing the Key Lime Cannon on my right shoulder and carrying the Vanilla Voulge in my left hand, I slung the LLL into the TR1K and awaited instructions from Lady Cinnamoon.
Hmmmmm. I was going to go think like a cow when I saw Gwendolyn whispering quietly in Lady Cinnamoon’s ear. Interesting……………. Perhaps they are discussing getting rid of me because I’m annoying………… Gulp.
No I doubt it. Anyway, I must get working! Factoids await!
293- wait wait wait POWERPLAAAY!! anyways, i already had a clever plot twist included in the near/ medium/ far future for my forgotten past!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 AAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!
and most of that wouldn’t have happened, as that part of the story was taking place about 3 days before i was allowed to roam the castle, i just said that because i had nothing else to do, so i went ahead a little!!!
aand i would have heard the explosions and been alert, so you couldn’t have just grabbed me, noked me out, then ran away!!! that is such… such…
AAAARGHER YYYAAAARGER DARGER!!!! AARGH ARGH argharghARGH
sorry. im confused now.
304- lt’s like flying in the hitchhiker series. l didn’t know that the fort was in the air in real life, so it didn’t apply to me.
Kelshino limped towards me.
“No!” l gasped.
Obviously, this wa gim’s work.
“That’s it! l chanllenge gimanator to a duel of honourable pye!”
307- l was aware of the twist, which is why l include it. Besides, this whole thing is going to lead into the necst pie war, and it benefits you!
310- Yes, well, if that’s so, why is PraCan still stuck on the ground? You are powerplaying left and right, trying to be the big, overshadowing hero. I’m sick of it! *goes into psychotic rage* *emerges panting* Sorry. That was something that’s been irking me for awhile.
I would strongly advise against the duel. As Gimanator is most probably insane, he likely has no concept of honor and will no doubt use means you would never stoop to to win.
“Gwen, is there anything I can do? Flying is all and well for people, but Ishtar’s beeen stuck in the stables as there’s not much room for a poler bear to run… perhaps I could provide a distraction for Lady Cinnamoon as she starts her rescue?”
310- Also, I really don’t care who’s winning or whatever so long as the thread goes on and I still get to have fun posting on it.
“Excellent idea, Jadestone,” I said into my communicator. “Pretend to launch an attack on Gimanator. As soon as I am safely in the fortress, I will send you a signal. If you retreat then, it will give Gimanator a false sense of security that will aid us in defeating him later.”
311- Sorry, Gwen. l made a post to patch everything up, but my brother turned off my computer before it was posted.
What happened is this: We found that the fort was above grownd, but piero flew us up. C++D and l talked on the fone and decided that l get to capture him, and l don’t restore his memory. And do you think l’m trying to seem too heroic? l don’t get it. l’m just trying to be loyal and help the cause while settling my personal disputes at the same time. lf l’m not doing a good job of that, l’ll try harder.
Anyway, Pc, l reccomend that you attack the fort while gim and l are dueling.
The rules of combat are:
Both deulists have a second. The seconds presents the deulists with their weapons, and the deulists bow and thank them. Then the deulists bow to each other. No vehicles, only as many hand weapons as you want.
****************
l sighed and went back to where gwen was.
“Gwen, l’m sorry for being such a jerk. l got caught up in personal matters. To make it up to you, l’m going to have a deul with Gimanator while distracting his forces, and you can sack his fort. l think this is a win-win plan, but l don’t want to interfere with anything. Think about this. lf you want me, l’m going to the weaponsmith, then the gym.”
l plodded off. At the weaponsmith, l got a Katana of Crustiness, and a Key West Lime Wakizashi and a pair of mechanical arms. ln the gym, (or room, l don’t want to make up parts of the fortress) l practiced and meditated.
“And in the confusion, Cinnamoon can bring me up to the fortress to reinforce the Op. Good idea.”
I believe I’ll be ignoring certain posts until they make sense.
“Wonderful idea, you three. I’m proud. Carry it out at a time you believe the most oppurtune. Considering two of you are generals, I’m going to trust you.”
Gwen, Lady Cinnamon, and the girl in green and brown pushed back their chairs and left in the direction of the conference room.
I looked awkwardly at Alice across the table. Without Gwen to back me up, I was frightened of what Alice might do. Throw a tantrum? Jump out the window? Still refuse to speak to me?
I wanted to apologize, to beg forgiveness, to give her a place in the plan, but I dared not. She would give us all away. I turned my back.
When I looked around, my sister was gone.
318- You seem to speak of me. Why?
To avoid powerplay, l’ll be locked in the armory with a team of engineers, training, meditating, and designing something awesome… and to be fair, l’m going to make it on the computer very carefully, and go by that length of time.
Hiding on ground under the fort was difficult, as I didn’t want then to see me, but I had no trouble yet. Suddenly a person came down with a parachute. Looking closely with my one eye, it looked like… Ecilia was the first name in my mind, but no…perhaps a sister? Perfect. I ducked behind a tree and waited for her to fall to the ground.
———
I don’t know what she would actually do, I’m just guessing. If this is incorrect, please let me know alice.
ag-I’m not dueling you! get that in your head! I didn’t even hear your challenge!
321- It’s fine. I was planning a slightly more dramatic scene, but that’s the core of my plan.
323- If this isn’t your plan, scratch it. I’m just making an educated guess.
I suddenly heard a scrabbling noise from the nearby entrance. It had to be Cinnamoon, but… Some instinct kept me from dropping my guard. Advancing cautiously, I pulled out my rhubarb six-shooter.
Then I rounded the corner and saw who was coming.
The bad news: it wasn’t Cinnamoon. The good news: It was Alice.
…but first l’m going to send a message declaring a dueling proposal to gim’s fort.
l send piero off with my message and return to the armory.
318- Was l one of the 3?
324-ooh. plot twist. PC’s gonna see what I do. this will make a very good conflict. We’ll just see if people beleive my acting, or you.hehehe.(are you gonna hide and watch alice? if you are, you’ll see my plan, see…er…you’ll find out)
324- While I had no set plan other than her getting out of the fortress and doing something rash, that sounds good. I like it.
Funny how the Blackberrian Alice and the
WashingtonianOregonian Alice have become completely different people.~~~~
I floated to the ground, slipped off my parachute, and headed into the pie mines.
A few yards in, there was a noise and a familiar figure rounded the corner. Prarilius Canix!
My fingers withdrew from the cold metal of the pie pistol hidden inside my cloak. “Hello,” I said warily, my eyes trained on the communicator he held in his hand.
And then I ran like mad.
“Alice! Wait!” I yelled. “This place is dangerous.”
“Shall we begin our rescue? I hope thy plan will work, Gwendolyn. Jadestone, thou may begin attacking Gim’s fort.”
I left the room with Jadestone. I went to the door, after taking a tape measure, and grabbed a parachute.
I smiled as they went out. At least one part of this war didn’t have internal conflict. I went to find Ecilia, as we had some major preparation to do for her mission. I wandered the fortress until I found her Alice’s room. She had a worried expression on her face, and was almost on the verge of tears. The room looked as though it had been ransacked. I had a pretty good idea of what had happened, and my fear grew, but just to be safe…
“Ecilia? Where’s Alice?”
Stop! l’m begging you!
“I don’t know,” I said helplessly. And then added, in an undertone, “But I can take a pretty good guess.”
331- Stop what?
332- The snide insults. l’m trying!
Shing! Shing! Bzzzzzzt! Cli-clack-clack! Zoumm, shing! Whisk, whisk, whisk! Kachunka! Splort! Kachunka! Wham! Click! Sproing!
These noises came from inside the armory.
I grabbed Alice by the shirt-tails. She had a lesson to learn, and there were two ways to learn it. The hard way, and the harder way. I opted for the former. At least it didn’t involve getting killed.
I spun her around. “Listen to me,” I hissed. “I know how you feel. I used to be exactly the same, always wanting to go out on the missions with the more experienced Pie Warriors. I kept trying to deceive them into bringing me. I succeeded. Catastrophically. Do you know why I have a slight limp?”
I pulled up my pant leg, revealing an ugly scar that ran all the way down my calf.
“Pie Polar Bear. Bigger than Ishtar. If he’d been a centimeter closer, I would have lost the leg. It’s only thanks to prosthetic implants, lots of healing creme and seven months in a hospital bed that I can get around this well.”
oh. my post zapped. oh well, I’m just looking up at alice trying to decide what to do.
I crossed my arms and glared at Canix. I still hadn’t quite forgiven him for various offenses relating to news of Ecila, and although somewhere deep in me I knew that I was being foolish and that it wasn’t his fault, my temper refused to acknowledge this. And something in his words wounded my temper further. I WASN’T GOING BACK! I would die first.
“I’m not trying to deceive anyone into taking me on their mission,” I said icily. “I’m not tagging along. And I’m not intending to –” I stopped, left my sentence unfinished. What was I intending to do? I didn’t have a plan. Oh well.
“Let go of my coat,” I said tugging at it.
I let go. “Alice,” I said, equally icily, “You have a lot of pluck and daring, and I admire that. But my point is that pluck alone isn’t worth two crumbs on the battlefield. You haven’t got any experience or training, and it would be a shame if someone with so much potential got killed.”
there seemed to be a commotion up top. Should I intervene? i wonder…
I deflated. Canix was right; I hadn’t a plan and I hadn’t a chance. But I wasn’t quite as inexperienced as he thought.
I gathered in my shreds of confidence and dignity and drew myself up to an impressive 5’6″. “I do have some training,” I said loftily. “You forget that most of my family were revolutionaries. And we had to know some self-defense even if all we did was mend shirts and remind other people not to get killed. I’m not totally useless.”
You should recieve your message.
How about in the duel, the GAPAs zapify any dishonourable attacks?
I don’t have time to referee, I’m afraid. Maybe someone else will take on the job.
340-dude, I have no honor at the moment. IM NOT DUELING! get that in your head!
Then we will all point at you and laugh and call you a coward. At least send a letter saying no.
I took a bit longer than Cinnamoon to leave the fortress, first raeading Ishtar and asking Borealla (sorry Gwen, not sure on the spelling) to carry him down as I don’t think the parachutes would hold him. After that I quickly donned my lightweight pietanium and leather armor, grabbed my pie slingshot and dagger, and had almost jumped out when I paused for a moment. “Hey Gewn,” I asked, “Do you want me to try out any of yor new weapons while I’m down there? Feild-test a few before they’re used in actual combat. It might be worhtwhile.”
Sir fluffykins III the quite ironically named stands atop a pointy tower. a young hedgeyhog starts to bound up the tower
he reaches the top and throws a pie at the kings face. The king teeters and falls to a cream filled doom. the hedgehogboy raises a fist to the heavens and screams “LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION! LONG LIVE THE C.F.S.T.!”(cream filled spikythings) I, the hedgeghogboy wishes the cfst to join the oosition! am i accepted?
343-oh well.
a pie polar bear was being let down. I was surprised naturally. But I thought, if their defences are down, now would be the ideal time to infiltrate.
I relented. “Well Cinnamoon isn’t going to be here for a while, so we’ll have to get along until we can return to the fortress. Let’s make a deal. You won’t do anything rash, and in return, I won’t lecture you or try to keep you from doing anything at all.”
“Fine,” I said. “It’s a deal.”
“In that case, we should get under cover. Come down the tunnel- I’ve set up camp in the Mines.”
I slowly floated down from the castle. Landing on the ground, I saw the enterance to the tunnel, and walked cautiously in. Hearing voices, one which sounded like Alice’s, I called out.
“Never mind. She’s here.” I walked cautiously into the open, recognizing our friend from Orange. “Good to see you, Cinna. Now let’s get out of here!!”
“You’re nto going to send me back now Lady Cannamoon is here, are you?”
the two people were leaving the fortress. it was now or never! I lifted myself, and each of my arms drew a blade. What my mouth had become grasped onto a pie grenade and hurled it towards them.
352- “We’re both goin- ” I caught sight of a small, dark object hurtling through the air. You wanted action, Alice, you’ve got it, I thought grimly, and pulled both women back into the cave entrance just before the grenade hit, showering us with soot and rocks and leaving a crater in the ground where we had been standing. I pulled out my Pie Cannon and scanned the area frantically.
l emerged from the armory, wearing a light suit of pietanium armor. It was completely unremarkable, other than some differently shaped large rectangular bumps on my back, and another smaller one on my left glove.
“l think l’ll go to ground patrol, Lady Gwendolyn.” l tried to be respectful.
“l’m bringing my cell phone, so call me if you need me. My number’s on the table.”
l fastened on a parachute and jumped down.
Hmmm. Nothing of interest so far…
354- My eyes wide with excitement and a little fear, I followed Canix’s example and took out my pie pistol. I had taken it from the guard, so it was a large one, and heavy. I had loaded it before leaving the fortress, and I handled it gingerly for fear it should go off unexpectedly.
“What was that?” I asked Canix, adopting a pose that looked more like I was about to began an elaborate dance than fire a pistol. When I realized this, I hastily assumed a more serious posture and repeated my question.
~~~~
I’m actually having a lot of fun playing up my ridiculous inexperience in actual battle.
I tried hard to conceal my exasperated sigh. “That was a pie grenade. Here.” I reached over and corrected her grip. “You’re firing it, not dismantling it.”
“Oh,” I said. “Thanks. But–how damaging is pie, exactly? Does it usually do that?” I gestured to the smoking crater. “I mean, I know if I bake it it does, but I always thought that was more of a lack of skill.”
“I fear that this attack is the eville work of Gimanator. Sir Prarilius, hast thou spare cannon? I have brought only a small firer for close combat.”
Wow, this seems more like an rrr than a random pie war…not that that’s bad!
Red-tailed HAWK
“No,” I said to Alice. “That’s not lack of skill, that’s natural talent.” I turned to Cinnamoon. “Here.” I gave her the pie cannon. “Alice, load for Cinnamoon. Cover me- I’m moving out.”
I leaped out of the cave opening and fired six rhubarb pies at the black-clad figure hunched behind a nearby ridge.
~~~
back in the fort.
” hey people? once gigamator is defted, that we call a siace fire, then go on Vanilllla once and for all. after that, we may attack one another.”
“Really? It’s natural TALENT? Wait’ll I tell Ecila!”
I groaned inwardly. Our archenemy had finally decided to show his hand, and all I had for backup was an Elizabethan-speaking peacenik and an overconfident, inexperienced girl from Blackberry.
The first two pies had connected, but Gim had dodged the last furious salvo. I wasn’t sure what shape he was in, but I doubted that he had been badly wounded. Worse luck- he’d be harder to contend with.
I swung the huge metal snout of my gun towards Giminator, and fired. The recoil sent my flying backwards, clutching my hand.
“OW!” I shrieked, and scrambled for my weapon, which I aimed in the general direction of my last shot and held ready.
364-I snorted from in the trees, they had no chance at the moment, my best hope was to take the unknowing one hostage…planning for about a second, I hurled another grenade, and in the smoke leaped at them both.
this is a rather comic scene. i am enjoying it. too bad I can’t really contribute to it much…
falling from my spot, to my surprise, the outlandish one fired at my arm, and it barely missed! My arm was cut, and I realized I might be dealing with more than I thought. Perhaps this ‘inexperiance’ was all a facade…
I wasn’t entirely sure what happened next, but Alice had shot Gimanator, that much I knew. He landed on his feet, wincing, but still capable. I spun around and fired another rhubarb pie at him, drawing out my wakizashi with my other hand.
the instant I reeled back up, a pie hit me straight in the face, knocking me over. I pulled myself back up my vision blurry. The ecilia-like one. I had to get to her. I sprinted directly at her. this could end the fight.
I bit my lip and raced after Gimanator, hoping I could catch up with him before he reached Cinnamoon and Alice.
As I drifted down towards the ground, I squinted, seeing shapes writhing below me. Was it… Canix? And Cinnamooon too, from the looks of it. An ambush! I cut myself free from the parachute about 10 feet from the ground, aiming to land on a running man as gravity hurtled me downward. Luckily, Boriela wouldn’t be far behind with Ishtar.
Gimanator collapsed into the dust, struck by a flying missile from above. I rushed forward to see him grappling on the ground with a familiar-looking woman.
((This war would be good adapted into a graphic novel.))
I fired at Giminator once more, this time only staggering at the recoil.
Oh, forget my post, then.
373- Yeah, it would. A few scenes are especially clear…
The combined impact of the pie and Jadestone (for it was she) seemed to have Gimanator shaken. I leaped in and sliced down with the KWLW.
l heard the commotion, and rushed to the scene.
Green lightning leapt from the blade and coruscated around Gimanator, flinging him ten feet in the air and dropping him in the dust. Too late, I realized that Jadestone might have felt some effects from the Citrus Shock, but saw that she was getting to her feet. Her hair was sticking up, but that was the limit of the effects. Alice seemed ready to fire again, so I stepped back so as not to be between her and her target.
310- no, no, not that twist!!
wow, this is an epic moment…
maybe you should just send a reply saying yes to agag then never show. thats dishonorable enough, gim. heh, that would tick off agag…. ishhshhshhshsheshehshhsshee!
soo… umm… where am i? i still have no clear explanation of what you did to me, agag…. this meddling power play is quite annoying…….*siiigh..*
aand you do not post as much as some other people, agag…
Not true. l’m one of the top posters. And your just sitting in a cell, without your memory. Play no power.
“Hey PC. l see you’ve got a WKLW too. l didn’t know they did that.”
Multiple blasts had signifigantly weakened me. But, my arms thrust me up, and I held the blades high. People were swinging furiously at me, and it helped that the mechanical arms had their own built in brain. left. right. up. parry. I began to sweat, and hurled pie grenades this way and that. One I hurled directly at Prallius Canix, but he was agile and jumped to the side to block my golf club. The grenade had stuck to a tree and blew down the base. The tree swung and began to fall, directly over the girl with the knack for hitting me with her pistol.
“Of course I’ve got one. I invented it. Now let’s finish Gimanator before he pulls off another unpleasant miracle.”
But I realized it was too late. “Alice!” I yelled, parrying a golf club. “Look out!”
This was it. My hostage would be squished. I had to stop it. I dashed over to the tree and slid, right underneath, grabbing her legs to pull her out of harm, in use of a hostage.
In desperation, I fired off my pistol twice, both times trying to get as close to Gimanator as possible. This was mad difficult by my awkward and uncomfortable position.
386-wow. you’d rather get rid of me, then live? oh wait, you don’t know that the tree’s falling.
“Cinnamoon, DO SOMETHING!” I yelled, rushing up the hill and knowing I would never get there in time.
387- Believe me, I’d act differently if I knew a tree was falling on me.
But, what did I know? Gimanator had hauled Alice out of the way, presumably to use as a hostage. Now, if only Cinnamoon could get up behind him and catch him off guard…
383- “You invented it? The engineers gave it to me when l asked for a new weapon.”
l ran at gim with my KLWK and Katana of Crustiness drawn. Fortunately, though l seemed to be overwhelmed because of gim’s arms, l had an ace in the hole.
l knocked alice aside and at the press of a button, my own pair of mechanichal arms erupted. They held the shank, which had a long lightsaber-like blade that sprouted from the blade, and my trusty pie sword.
ag had leapt up next to me with his own pair of mechanical arms. he was such an idiot sometimes. I held the blade to Alice’s throat. “Ag, you idiot. Don’t move, or I kill her.” I said calmly.
This was serious, but l wasn’t finished. l pushed another button. Nothing happened. Then, a pie spear on a scorpion like mechanical tail erupted from my back and hit Gim straight in the face. Another button press, and my pistol and cannon rose out from my back, fitted themselves on my shoulders, and fired at will at gimanator.
Septuple wielding! and all from patience.
Coming up behind Gimantor, I saw pies flying from a strange man’s spear. Seeing that Alice would take the brunt of the attack, I grabbed her and pulled her out of the way.
“Come, Alice! We must find shelter. Can thou not see that Gimanator wishes to hold thou hostage? Thou must leave this place. Come with me, and let Sir Prailius finish the villain.
surprising me, ag had a tail that swung out at me, but I ducked under. And held Alice in front of the rapid fire.
Waitwaitwait. Am I running away with Cinnamoon, or am I being used as shield by Gim?
l stopped firing.
“too bad it had to come to this.”
Befor gim could react, the blade on the shank elongated an drove through his chest.
*****************
l’ll explain about celestial pietanium later.
../\/\..
>.oo.
? part of my last comment was deleted, at least what i can see, what is going on? no one can tell.
look– heh-
…(\./)
…(>..oo.
? parts of my posts keep being deleted!!
agag, where am i??/?????
??/
I turned to Jadestone. “Help Ag. I’ve got an idea.”
Then I rushed off over the opposite ridge and disappeared into the mine-pocked wasteland.
397-yup. that’s it. I’m dead. Game over.[/sarcasm] By the way, I’m holding Alice in front of me completely, I’ll let you get away with this, but it would go straight through Alice. Whatever…
—————-
Ag acted very quickly and his shank drove into my chest. Surprisingly, I felt no pain. Then I realized that the blade was stuck in the metal section of my chest. He wouldn’t be able to get it out! With my open arms, I swung down on the stuck arm…(it’s mecahnical, I assume it will be severed, unless you part with your oh-so-precious shank)
Rushing down through a side tunnel of the mines, I followed the maps Gwen had given me right to the entrance Cinnamoon was in. Gimanator and Ag were locked in their intense duel, with Alice caught in the middle. With luck, Gim wouldn’t notice us until too late…
“Cinnamoon, I’m going to try to get Alice away from Gimanator. While I hold him back, bring her into the mines.”
Without pausing for acknowledgement, I charged forward, voulge leveled.
But instead of impaling him, it bounced off his back with a distinctly metallic bing.
403- l don’t think you understand.
Ahem. Celestial pietanium is used on the plane of gods. It costs a fortune on the mortal plane. lt works like pietanium, but when your enemy utters (or in this case refuses) to utter a sentence, phrase, or any amount of words, and a lightsaber-esque blade erupts. This cuts through metal, and spreads crust quickly through wounds.
The reason my shank is so small is because large weapons take longer speach.
Bagwald the beastly once had a battleaxe that grew to the size of a baseball stadium, and he took on an entire army. Unfortunately, his enemies would have had to recite a long epic poem, so bagwald was destroyed.
ln my case, the shank just goes if you refuse to thank me, which you did.
*********************************
A metal arm came down on the light blade, and was cut off. the pastry in gim spread past the metal part.
405- Please, no godly weapons. That kills the story. The best we have is pietanium, which is lots stronger than steel, but Gim would have his arms made out of that also so it would be an actuall struggle between the two of you.
405- If it costs a fortune, where the heck did you get it?
406- Oh come on! l’ve been itching to reveal it! l thought of it for a while, but desided to save it at risk of being accused of powerplay.
407- l’m a rogue-ish guy. How do you think l got it?
405-so…my blade broke on your arm?and there is a thick metal layer of the highest level of chain pecan. Naturally more expensive than your pietanium. Your strength alone would be enough to embed it about a half an inch into me, but it would get stuck due to the fish hook pattern on the inside of the medium layer casing. Plus, how did it extend longer, if I say anything now? And, my strentgh would easily cut through your metallic arm, you wouldn’t have enough money to make it such high quality after spending it all on your pietanium. In fact, your side would be broke from loss of money. You wouldn’t even be able to afford all the excess arms, much less shankies. By the way, the only mine of pecan metal is located directly under my main base, positioned distinctly and strategicly. I tracked it using a home-made pecan metal detector. As all can see, I will win in this debate about which metal is stronger. Yes, the pecan metal comes from the heavens, as well. Oh, and ag, to end this rant, I have been fighting(or or least trying to fight) in a more polite manner than you. Even if my character is more sinister in the story, I follow the proper ettiquette of pie wars. The example of this format is: accept and admit what happened to you, react to what happened to you, explain your separate reaction, and then describe what bonuses you have. I would like to award this award of chivalrie to PC and Jadestone for following this format. Meanwhile, you use the anti-ettiquette, a.k.a ‘powerplay’. So please stop these elaborate hoaxes of yours and come to see how to be polite about winning or losing. In fact, if you want to be even more civilized, (which other people are), credit your enemy with an advantage over you, it makes the story more gripping, and then they do the same to you, thus the battle, in the end is lost(won) by the more polite, who then has their honor. Once again, I’d like to credit PC with this.
———————-
While Ag had stuck his shankie of wordly-ness into me, PC charged, abrupty into me, happily I heard a metallic ping as the vogue bounced off. I laughed in appreciation, “PC, you won’t be able to even dent me with that toy!”. But, even as I spoke, he reared in for a second attack…
406-7-yes thank you. In the end, please ignore my rant, it is just to get on ag’s nerves. I shall do my best to fight fairly against ag in this account. No godly weapons.
Arg. You vacuum. lt’s only unfair cus’ gim hates me. And l stole the shank, so l have a lot of money.
Sheesh. You’re calling me the sore loser. Compromise: You lose the arm, and l keep the shank.
Wait. Your arm broke on my blade, not the other way `round.
Gosh, I’m not sure what’s going on, which is sad since I’m part of it. Am I sandwiched between the dueling Ag and Gim?
I realized that a direct attack would not work, as Gim now seemed to be more machine than man. Something more subtle was necessary…
I feinted as if to stab, then sliced upward and to the left. The flat of the blade connected with his head, spinning him sideways.
And l dove in with my WKLW.
BBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
412-???i swung at your arm! how would I lose my arm on your balde?
413-yes. Pc’s trying to recue you.
it’s been decided. PC, when you rewrite the pie war as a book, I’m hoping that you keep it with all it’s pires and splendor. I’ve decided to make it a realistic sci-fi. I think the protagonist will be Ecilia or Alice. I want to make it like an epic, so I wanted to have a romance thingy, but that’ll be kinda hard with Ailce hating romance, and her likely being in the middle of it…or how ’bout ecilia? I’ll have to switch her with Alice a couple times in the story, though.
———–
PC had reeled back up and feinted, which I did not expect, he flatted my face, spinning it sideways. By the time I looked around, he was coming back, I held up my ‘shield’ ion self-defence.
PC and Gimantor were in combat, with the stranger dodging in and out. I ran to Alice and pulled her out.
“Come with me, we must find shelter!”
417- If you dare put me in a romance, I will never speak to you again. And, yes, that means Ecila too, although most likely she would appreciate romance, I wouldn’t.
418-
I cooperated to the extent that I retreated a few yards, but then I refused to budge. “Where’s the cannon?” I asked urgently.
Heartened by my success, I struck again, fully expecting Gim’s metallic face to crumple like a tin can.
But instead, a violent shock jarred through the voulge, and its haft snapped in three smoldering pieces.
Some sort of ion shield, I thought. Well, the citrus charge in the Key West Lime Wakizashi should go some way to counteracting that.
Acting upon my conclusion, I pulled out my sword.
When I chronicle it, I’ll probably make it omnescient third person, i. e. no main protagonist and shown from many different viewpoints. I’ll also make each character (including self) more deep and complex. For instance, I’ll put in some foreshadowing of Gim’s sudden transition into a madman. (That’s going to be fun.)
Slicing down, I felt a resistance checking my swing, and the blade glowed green as electric sparks flowed over it. I struck again, and there was a fizz as the shield began to lose its integrity.
Note: I don’t mind getting killed (in the Pie War) as long as my death accomplishes something.
Not that I want to die right away. I’d prefer to live.
PC, are you sure you’re not Mel Gibson*?
*Noted for starring in and directing movies in which his character gets tortured to death.
425- Pretty sure.
It’s not that I particularly want to perish, it’s just that I think the story would be given more depth by a character dying, and if it was me, I wouldn’t mind too much.
Another blow, and the ion shield ruptured.
I personally couldn’t care less about whether I lived or died in this story, since I hardly participate anyway and I have TWO characters. So if anyone wants to kill me off in their retelling of the pie wars they can, just tell me and I’ll make sure to incorporate it into the story. In the meantime, I’ll try to contribute more.
When Cinnamoon only tugged on my hand a little harder, I wrenched free from her grasp and sprinted towards the mouth of the cave where I could see the pie cannon. I aimed it several feet to the right the furious knot of duelers, and fired, releasing a cloud of acrid black smoke like charred pie and making everyone jump.
so, where am I again?
429- You’re back at the Op fortress.
dang. agag iiissssss ssssstiiill not telling me where i am!! tell me where i am!! NOW!!
AARGH!! WHY IS NO ONE RESPONDING TO MY QUESTION??!?
ARE YOU ALL DEAF??!? AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!
AGAGABAGABAG, REEESSSPPOOND NOW OR FACE MY WRATH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAGGHH!!!!!
… sorry… but I am annoyed…
i can’t escape or do much if i don’t know where that cell is… is it at your base?
430- with who else?
427- l also zapped him. Did you notice?
C++D- lt’s obvious! Geez!
alice- I figured as such…drat…now the story’s screwed up…
and ag-did you decide to loose your robtic arm and the shank? Or just the shank?
ATTENTION PIE WARERS! I have every intention of losing this war. It’s true. It’s only for special effect, I want to die in some big dramatic way. I had to play the ultimate villain. just once.
436- OK.
437-yes, well, some people didn’t know that, I just wanted to make it clear. It’d still be good if we killed someone off. You can be the person that dies to kill me! perfect!
Neither. l’ve zapped you.
How about the person who dies to make you good?
439-? wait, you mean you blew me back? You’d get pulled, too unless you let go of the shank, see. er…could you explain yourself?
l didn’t let go and got pulled, but you got zapped. That can’t be good with all that metal.
? is the shank metal? is pietanium metal? yes?
?!?is confusabled?!?
aaand it isnt clear where i am… op fortress?? whait… did you even stop there before going to play the “powerplay hero”?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
didn’t gimanator cut the arm off??? stop dodging posts, agag. just answer the posts!! where am i? did you let go of the shank, or did gim cut the arm off?
439- but thats implausible power play!! you can’t do that, look. you put shank in gim. cant pull it out. gim slices at the robotic arm holding the shank: you have 2 options,
A. let go of the shank and keep robotic arms, and
B. hold onto shank and have robotic arm sliced off.
and NOT C. shock gim with sword, because logically, you can’t do that and not do either A or B. see???
AARRGGHH! CAN”T YOU SEE WHY??
I hacked down at the joint where all four robotic arms met Gim’s back, hoping the razor-sharp pietanium blade and powerful citrus shock combined would be enough to damage them.
One sure does miss quite a bit in a particularly busy week of absence. Lo siento, mi amigos.
I stood there with Ecilia, not quite sure what to do. And it struck me, that realization. Not quite sure what to do. I remembered the past few weeks, and how tumultous they had been. How when the Pie War started, my former Op comrades had abandoned me, leaving me to command the fortress. Me, the inventor, to be a general? It was a most foolish gamble on the part of the old senior officers.
I had come to The Neutrals as a young girl, looking to feel useful. The Neutrals had taught me the grit of war, and how to make the most of the talents I had. Honor, Ingenuity, Courage. That was what they had taught me. When The Neutrals left, I was expected to uphold those values, even as they didn’t.
And then I realized something else. I had been upholding the principles of The Neutrals all through the wars. We weren’t The Neutrals anymore. We were The Op. And The Neutrals hadn’t forsaken me. The Op had. The Op was a band of lazy but cunning warriors who hadn’t the initiative to spell out their whole name. They didn’t mind leaving a delusional young woman to command in their stead, however ill-prepared she was.
As I went deeper into the reflection, I realized I hadn’t been sure of what I was doing ever since the war’s revival. I had acted on impulse, jeopardizing everyone, taking shortcuts to avoid real fighting. I wasn’t a Neutral. I was Op, through-and-through, as my actions showed. So why did I cling to my ridiculous old ideas?
Because it was a combination of my true self and my prized ideologies, each blurring so much that there was no distinction. I had been a coward, but I had also been a hero.
Generals, however ill-suited for the job they are, are supposed to be heroes, and people to look up to. Which is naive. We were just human, after all. Then why did the others seem so sure, so confident?
My thoughts mish-mashed together incoherently in that manner for awhile. I stood there by Ecilia, in paralysis of thought.
443- The shank part is metal, the blade from it is plasma.
445- That’s not at all logicall.
447-woh, deep.
448- ???
448-it is logical. when i see you at school, i shall demonstrate.
aand isn’t this thread getting a little long? or is it just not taking a long time to load?
448- oh yeah, and plasma does conduct electricity, sooo… i’m assuming the robotic arm holding it is some sort of standard pie-ore derived metal that does conduct electricity…. umm… I think that you get shocked, too… if im not mistaken, and if you don’t suddenly realize why the arm should get cut off/ why you should let go of the shank…. ya sooo… it would be best if you just let go of the shank…… ummm… yaa… its not that hard, so… don’t go saying something completly irrelevent to distract me and then do some thing else to make us forget this weirdness…