Sunday, 19 May 2013
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
New year, new thread. The original Coping thread described its purpose thus:
Coping with difficult situations, disappointment, depression, boredom, whatever unpleasantness life deals out. What tricks have you learned? What works for you?
Date: January 4, 2013
Categories: Life
Hello all! As an unofficial caretaker of the prior coping thread, I am making a post here with some of the techniques from it, as a quick reference.
IF YOU ARE UPSET RIGHT NOW AND NEED HELP:
distress tolerance!
Here is what I do. When I have trouble remembering what to do, I have my boyfriend lead me through it. If you have a trusted friend, you might want to tell them about some of these techniques so they can remind you of them if the time comes.
1. Try some deep breathing. If you’re crying or hyperventilating or holding your breath it’s hard to be calm.
2. Focus on things around you: first three, then two, then one. Engage your senses, for example, list things you see.
3. Remember that emotions are not forever: you will be happy again.
4. Think about good things that will happen in the future. Think about good things that you can do now, and then go do them.
5. If you are upset about something that you cannot change, try to accept it. It’s hard! But why worry about the inevitable? It is what it is.
also see:
IMPROVE the moment, post 17 original thread
radical acceptance, post 20 original thread
IF YOU ARE TRYING TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND THEY ARE DIFFICULT
interpersonal effectiveness!
-Plan what you are going to say ahead of time. Prepare ahead of time for potential reactions. Practice what you’re going to say.
-Describe what’s happening, how you feel about it, and how you would like things to change.
-Explain what will happen if things don’t change — as in, consequences you will enact: “I will stop trying to be friends with you to preserve my happiness” rather than “I will be miserable.”
-Stay calm when you are talking with the other person; recognize their point of view and accept that it is valid, don’t attack them. Basically, listen to them as you’d like to be listened to.
also see:
DEAR MAN, post 23 original thread
GIVE, post 25 original thread
THINGS TO INCORPORATE INTO YOUR LIFE TO MAKE YOU HAPPIER AND BETTER ABLE TO COPE
-Try to keep to a routine: eat regularly, sleep a decent amount if at all possible, exercise every so often.
-Do things that make you happy!!! (This is very important.)
-Practice mindfulness (being aware of your emotions without necessarily acting on them): When you get a chance, think about your emotions as if watching them go by on a conveyor belt. Imagine them passing you. Don’t reach out and touch them, don’t let them affect you. Just recognize you have these feelings and let them be.
also see:
mindfulness, posts 2 and 5 original thread
ABC PLEASE, posts 8 and 10 original thread
Good luck to all!
20 
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I have mental issues.
I am diagnosed with most of them.
But I feel like a special snowflake for talking about them because it feels like I’m trying to justify my behavior.
I am very gifted in the creative areas.
I competed in state competition for piano at age five.
I feel like I should be ashamed of this
that it is LYING THAT IT IS UNTRUE
what ought i do
0 5
hey everyone, i’ve been reading over the lat thread (which is full of great advice!) and i was wondering if anyone had any particular strategies about disrupting negative thought loops, that seems to be a problem for me. i feel like i either make things catastrophes or uh wow i can’t think of the positive equivalent for that but yeah i need to work on balancing things i guess. hm.
as for my own advice (possibly not worth much considering the above) is to have a calming playlist with mostly instrumental type things or songs with lyrics that won’t upset you/are soothing. i’ve found that kind of helps when you don’t want to be around anyone but also want some human reassurance. idk.
2 0
oh god I know what you mean though I am probably not the best person to give advice on how to deal with them… I find talking to someone, anyone, can help a lot because it sort of snaps you back to reality. Or comfort books or movies sometimes, though sometimes new ones are better because you have to pay attention to them rather than knowing what happens.
Sometimes also sensory stuff helps me? Like, I get thougth-loops when I’m trying to fall asleep a lot, and tightly wrapping blankets around myself helps with some of them. Having pressure on my skin. This is mostly a short-term thing. I must sleep now (JADE?? SLEEP???? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS) but I will think about long term stuff? I am also not a good person to ask in this case though tbh
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Someone I’m closed to occasionally has panic attacks caused by negative thought loops. To break those, I would just talk to en saying really random things, anything, things that weren’t related to the negative thoughts? Find someone who could do that? Possibly also watch something (like a movie you’ve seen before) that has words that will calm you but this is all from an outside perspective and I don’t know if it is good advice either.
1 0
Distracting oneself/ cheering up/ not thinking particular thoughts: I listen to the radio, or to a podcast that I’ve heard before (or one that sounds calming). Fresh Air is really good because Terry Gross has a very soothing voice. Doctor Who episodes that I’ve already seen- ones without any deaths in them- are also good. I’ve found that watching comedies doesn’t make me happy, but watching things that are neither happy nor sad does.
Does anyone else find that making a cave with your hands around your eyes/putting a hat on your face/hiding in a book makes you feel better if you’re overwhelmed or panicky? I find that doing anything that narrows my field of vision (or reduces sensory input in other ways) works like a charm. Then I realize that I’m standing in the middle of a loud store with my face in a sweater.
2 0
I’m not sure if it’s the same concept or not, but I do have a tendency to go into a corner and stare at it, or just a wall if the corners of the room are too far away. It does work well for me.
0 0
What do you do to deal with things that aren’t particularly mental-health-related, but just unpleasant? (Getting over things that make you sad, I mean; for me, that’s bad test scores, upset friends, and rude people.)
I’ve taken to sitting under my desk and listening to Beatles songs after a bad day. I used to sit in the dryer, but apparently that’s a safety risk. I also used to bake a lot, but am now trying to eat healthily, so I need alternatives.
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If I’m bothered by something I try to find things to do that will distract me enough to take my mind off it for at least a while.
A good TV show can usually do the trick for me, or a book, both of which, for me, should be sufficiently engrossing to distract. Find a new show to watch, or rewatch old episodes of favourites. Comedy can cheer you up; at the same time drama has the potential to make your problems seem less consequential.
I’d advocate comfort eating too (I mean, who doesn’t enjoy that?) were I not also trying to eat healthily. Plus, if I do binge I always feel mega-guilty afterwards, so in the long-run, doesn’t necessarily help with the feelings.
Also, the depths of YouTube can sometimes provide a seemingly limitless source of divertissement. Music can work too, but I find that sometimes when I listen to music I start thinking too much, especially if the music is particularly sad/pensive.
Films could be another way too, though once those two hours are up you’re back to square one with nothing to do – I prefer TV for this reason since series are longer. And it’s easy to absorb yourself in the (all-too addictive) process of continuously watching successive installments to find out what comes next.
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There are several sites out there that let you choose playlists or radio stations based on your current mood. I haven’t played with them much, but it seems like a really cool idea, and that could be one way to avoid sad/pensive music.
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Generally, I listen to music too. In some situations, it also helps me to be able to put little things in order- cleaning my desk, re-arranging my books or just emptying the dishwasher. </control freakishness
Reading HG2G-or Douglas Adams quotes- also helps. Or reading MB 
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