Tuesday, 23 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
How did we get this far along in 2010 without a new installment of this thread? Vent your frustrations and display your creativity by abusing the blog’s favorite scapegoat, 
. It really does seem to make people feel better.
Continued from Dissing Mr. Joe, 2009.
Date: May 7, 2010
Categories: Random craziness
Mr. Joe is the reason…never mind. I’m pretty happy right now.
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is the reason I have to go to BED. 
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Mr Joe…For now, you will serve as the face of society that tries to grind you down under its heel, that is convinced that their way is the only right way, that smiles sweetly and emotionally blackmails you into doing something you don’t want. I don’t have enough concentration to insult you. I’m too angry.
Instead, I will indulge in a bit of gratuitous, pent up physical violence. *draws fist back* *punches Mr Joe’s smirking little :mrgreen:* *teeth fall out*
*leaps into the air* *drop kicks straight onto Mr Joe’s head* *feels much better*
Now…for my post victory speech. “Mr Joe! Those blows held the strength and power of a thousand suns! They held my heart’s true feelings! Now, begone, for you are an agent for HPBs, their spy here, and the cause of all trouble on MuseBlog! Cross me once again, and I will make you suffer my righteous wrath!”
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That is one of the most awesome Mr Joe insults ever.
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It is because of the strength of my pure heart! And maybe one too many shounen anime watched lately.
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Mr. Joe is too dumb to be an agent of the HPBs. They don’t like him anyways.
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Mr. Joe is why my computer is so slow today.
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Mr. Joe, thou art a boil-bellied, frog-nosed newt!
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Mr. Joe causes people to not think for themselves.
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Ditto.
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*sings* Think for yourself, cuz I won’t be there with you!
Anyway. Mr. Joe is why it’s raining. The skies are crying because they just saw his ugly face.
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“Why does it rain?”
“It’s God crying.”
“And why is God crying?”
“Because of something you did.”
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ALL YOUR THREADS ARE BELONG TO US. HA HA HA HA…
MR JOE DID NOT TAKE OFF THE “ZIG”.
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Side kicks Mr. Joe in the stomach –
*waits for Joe to hook punch me – hard blocks, regrabs and flips him into an outside wristlock. looks at him lying on the ground, jumps on him knee-first, and rolls him onto his stomach. grabs his arm, brings it over his back and snaps it, pulling him into a chokehold.*
Boy, I love Combat Hapkido.
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Mr. Joe actually did something good for once- he was the trash receptacle for all of the awfulness, ugliness, and stupidity that JB/DT/Matt Smith/MuseBloggers don’t have!
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Mr. Joe is why Symphony Place got flooded and they lost their pianos and their organ and a lot of other instruments!
Mr. Joe is why nobody likes me!
Mr. Joe is why Opryland got replaced by a mall!
Mr. Joe is why when I meet people I actually like, I usually never meet them again or don’t see them for months/years.
Mr. Joe is why we got this flood!!!
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We all like you fireh.
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*frantically agrees*
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I like you a lot.
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*agrees*
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We all ♥ you, fireh!!
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Mr. Joe made my mother decide that today is clean the house day
Mr. Joe made my scheduale so busy
Mr. Joe is the bane of everyone’s existance, whether they know it or not. Mr. Joe passed prop 8 (yes, that still makes me ticked) Mr Joe is, well, Mr. Joe. Mr. Joe is why I’m a minor medical train wreck and Mr. Joe is why I suck at social interactions. I dispise Mr. Joe. A lot.
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Mr Joe wrote the book I have to read for french and that our test is on which I loathe so much that I would like to hear it apart and set page by page on fire and watch it burn slowly. And usually I want to do that to people who vandalize books, but this thing…
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I know how you feel.
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Mr. Joe is why one of the hosts of the podcast I wrote in to thinks a Disney/Virgin Galactic space ride will never happen.
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Mr. Joe made my crush be rather thick today. However, he won’t stop me from trying tomorrow. 
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Mr. joe is the reason I cannot focus on my homework and why I am not going to be in CPA Geometry next year (I think… my grade may have gone up enough….) Mr.Joe is also the reason I keep noticing typos AFTER I hit the comment button!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mr. Joe, you are a schmo.
You kill this poet’s dreams, you know.
Oh Mr. Joe, your words can grow
Inside the heads of those I know.
But Mr. Joe, you boil and blow,
But there is one place you can’t go.
Inside my head, the rivers flow,
And I am safe from Mr. Joe.
Okay, so I’m no E. A. Poe,
And sometimes I feel pretty low,
But I will live, and I will grow,
And I will know you as the foe,
And we shall overcome, you know,
The tyranny of Mr. Joe.
Yo!
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*applauds* Nice, very nice.
came up with the MCAS. Actually, he’s too dumb. So he convinced the person who came up with it that it was a good idea.
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Mr. Joe not only convinced the person who came up with the MCAS that they were a good idea, he made every question on them as boring as he could possibly make it. Then he made them even more boring than that. And he takes joy in the mindless zombies kids turn into after taking them.
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I was going to do Artemis for our project on Greek gods, but someone else had Artemis so I had to switch to PROMETHEUS! But he’s cool too..
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Yay! Prometheus! Gaea! Anthem References!
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I didn’t like that book much.
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Neither did I.
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I just saw this years later, but it was so awesome and geeky and characteristic that I had to comment.
MuseBlog: Making references to books we don’t even like since 2005.
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Mr. Joe did the housing for my school for next year. (A lot of people are unhappy with their housing, not just me.)
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drives me crazy.
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16.1.1.1- Go Artemis!
Mr. Joe smells so bad that skunks run from him.
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would foil :idea:s plans to take over the universe, but is too stupid to know what a “plan” is.
:mrgreen:: Duh..what’s a plan?
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Forget that. He’s too stupid to know good from evil, or proper punctuation and spelling.
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Mr. Joe is why my computer’s hard drive exploded >:(
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If you asked Mr Joe whether he was Team Spock or Team Kirk, he would say he was Team Edward.
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Nice. If you ask me that, I’ll yell “TEAM SULU!” loudly.
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I’m Team Scotty
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I’m team…Data. *I know, I know, but I’m a TNG fan…*
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(Refined form of an older diss I used once…)
Aerogel was used for the Stardust mission to slow down comet particles without destroying them because it is 99.8% air and as such, is the lightest and least dense solid known to humanity.
NASA could have saved money by using Mr. Joe’s brain instead… it’s 99.999999% air.
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Except that Mr. Joe is the most dense solid in existence.
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likes to sit down and curl up in a cocoon of dumbness and cause all kinds of disasters without knowing it. EXAMPLE:
Random person: Sign this paper.
Mr. Joe: I don’t know how.
Random person: Like this. (takes Mr. Joe’s hand and guides it along the paper)
Random person: Thank you.
…
Next week:
Random Person: Yay, I had enough people on my petition to outlaw books!
Petition:
—–Who wants books to be outlawed?—-
1. Randon Person
2. Director of Cyberbook facilitys
3.Mr. Joe
4.Mr.. Joe
5. Mr. Joeeeeeeeeeeee
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There once was a man named
Who once killed an innocent doe
When taken to court
He did report
He thought the doe caused sorrow
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I ACCIDENTALLY SAVED A PICTURE IN JPG AND IT IS RUINED.
IT’S ALL MR. JOE’S FAULT. HE INVENTED JPG’S. AND PAINT.
(Honestly, I don’t see what the point of that file format is. It is evil and kills your stuff, especially sprites, which this happened to be- a revamp of the Generation II Pokémon Beauty sprite, which was completed and somewhat difficult to make. I will now go and see if there is a way to change Paint’s default file format, or something. Results: There does not appear to be.)
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I just save everything as a PNG. JPGs are definitely evil; they make everything blurry and ugly.
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I know, I usually do. The problem is, in Paint, the dropdown menu for file format starts out on JPG, so sometimes I forget to change it…
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Can you make the default setting as PNG?
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Mr. Joe calls in to report a UFO when he sees the moon.
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Mr. Joe is the reason my computer won’t let me click the “I agree to the terms and services” box on the NaNo site, thus I can’t register. GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Joe is the reason MuseBlog looks messed up right now-some people’s comments are piled on top of each other and it is impossible to read anything.
Mr. Joe is the reason that from April to October I have pollen allergies and go everywhere sneezing like crazy and looking like I’m crying.
Mr. Joe is the reason that from October to April I always have a cold, a cough, or a runny nose. Or a stuffy nose.
Mr. Joe is the reason I have a FREAKING ANNOYING COLD right now that is causing me to sit around and be bored when I could be doing something.
Mr. Joe is so stupid he thinks it’s raining when I sneeze on him.
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Mr. Joe wants to burn all the Harry Potter books, but he’s so dumb that if he tried he would probably set himself on fire.
Mr. Joe wants Doctor Who and Torchwood canceled.
Mr. Joe jumped into the ocean and caused the tsunami in Japan.
Mr. Joe wrote Mockingjay, Maximum Ride #4-7, Artemis Fowl #5-7, and the third and fourth Warriors series.
Mr. Joe is a rabid Twilight fan.
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Hey now, let’s not get too carried away here. I LIKED Artemis Fowl 5-7, although I will admit the first four were better. Hopefully the 8th will be good. (And there will be an 8th, because Opal Koboi is still out there.)
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Yes, and I also liked Mockingjay. Anyway, don’t be silly; he can’t write! Bad books were just inspired by Crraw; I thought everyone knew that!
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No, 7 was just so jump-the-shark-y *winces at recollection* The series should have ended with book 6, which wrapped everything up nicely. 7 ruined that. I’m with you on the warriors books though.
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Mr. Joe gave me an extremely difficult violin assignment! *kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol*
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It’s all Mr. Joe’s fault that this thread is dead!
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keeps distracting me when I do laundry so I forget to take my T-shirts out of the dryer and they get ugly lint pills on them and shrink.
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He’s a Nargle?! No wonder he’s so stupid (sorry, moths; I’m sure the rest of you are smarter than him), and no wonder I haven’t seen him (My life’s not perfect, so he must be in it, but I can never quite find him)! How did you find out?
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Well, I had this sudden thoughts of a green emoticon after I turned on the dryer… and then I had a sudden urge to go clean my little sisters’ room… (Yes, that was punctuated correctly; my sisters share a room.) Then I was stacking jewelry boxes on the dresser and the dryer played its song and I said, “NOOOOOOO!!!!!” So now the shirts are no longer good as new. 
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…Did I say Nargle? I’m so sorry; I meant Wrackspurt. Oops. He must have flown into my ear while I wrote my post.
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Mr. Joe, revive this thread now or you will be mercilessly insulted by everyone on MuseBlog.
I mean, Mr. Joe, you are a such a wimp that you can’t take being insulted daily by random people, and you should revive this thread to prove your manlyness.
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Mr. Joe auditioned for the Death Eaters, but he didn’t know which end of the wand to hold and accidentally turned himself green.
Mr. Joe is going to attend the DH2 premiere wearing a Twilight shirt.
Space sickness isn’t caused by zero gravity. It’s because Mr. Joe keeps sneaking onboard the shuttles and the astronauts see his ugly face.
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I wonder what exactly Jake Garn did to earn his wrath…
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Oh, you can’t expect him to do things for actual reasons. He is the reason that life isn’t fair, and people aren’t completely rational. He invented revenge, too.
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Mr. Joe thinks Luke Skywalker is the captain of the Starship Enterprise.
I know someone who actually thinks that. It’s a travesty.
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Indeed it is.
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Yes, yes.
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Arggh, that’s terrible.
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*walks over to shelf**gets lightsaber**looks for someone to stab*
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Stab Mr. Joe!!!!
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If he’s a Wrackspurt, that’ll be rather hard. I certainly would if I could only find him, but I never have, and I doubt I ever will. *swats air just in case*
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Mr. Joe smells worse than whale barf. In fact, whales barf because they smell him.
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Why whales? Do they smell worse than any other animal, including mustelids, including skunks? Unfortunately, I’ve never gotten close enough to tell.
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Ambergris, a substance vomited up by sick whales, famously has a very strong smell, which is why it is used in perfume manufacture. I have been told that in its raw form, it smells… rather unlike perfume.
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is a foul beast of Mordor.
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On the subject of instrument identification, called the saxophone a cornet, the trumpet a clarinet, the clarinet a flute, the trombone a trumpet, and the drums a violin.
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And the viola a violin.
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causes boredom. Then certain bored people appear on this thread to insult him.
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is the reason the world is such a mess.
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You mean he invented digital watches?
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Someone once told Mr. Joe to read the atmosphere in the room before saying stuff. Mr. Joe promptly went to the bookstore.
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He must be why it took me a moment to figure that out.
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Mr. Joe watches old horror movies and wonders why the vampires don’t sparkle when they go out in the sun.
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Cake, sorry about that. 
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Blame
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is preventing this thread from moving into 2011.
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Well, of course! What, you think he likes being insulted?
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Well, no matter what we do, he keeps smilIng…
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He’s got a job.
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Mr. Joe is why everyone doesn’t have a job.
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Wait, so he doesn’t?…
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keeps making me post on my alter ego elsewhere, even though Bibliophile guessed me.
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is the reason my computer has no audio and turns off if something bumps its power cord. *angry face*
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makes band students start on clarinet before they can play saxophone.
I really do not agree with this philosophy.
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He also makes fencers start on epee before they can fence saber of foil *blech! Epee is so booooooooooring, apart from being able to stab people in the foot*
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thought that the cake wasn’t a lie.
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There really was a cake, but Mr. Joe ate it.
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SFTDP
is the reason Bach died. And the reason his Bach hurts.
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is the reason I only just realized this thread said “dissing” and not “discussing”.
doesn’t understand Bach puns.
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SFTDP
I was reading this thread aloud to my ten-year-old sister, and at post 41, she said, “Oh, he’s so smart, he knows where to look for books!”
Mr. Joe is possessing her
i was talking to the cat because he needs to Know where to find books….. duh!!!!!! LEMON EATER
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OUCH. She just started typing and posted..to bad
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I noticed. I think she did it again, too.
AL’s sister, if you were telling that cat who knows where to find books, who does know where to find books? Was anyone else in the room?
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Mr. Joe, apparently, and now he’s hiding them from me. *pays library fine*
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Mr. Joe was the original liar with his pants on fire.
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He said they weren’t.
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How many of does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the lightbulb, and one to turn whatever the first one is standing on.
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Two. One to notice that the bulb has gone out. The other to stand around in the dark.
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Old caking talks like a certain caking fictional character and all. He really does.
thinks polygons turn into frogs.
thinks Sealand is a water park in San Diego.
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And Orlando and San Antonio.
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thinks Doctor Who is a talk show.
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…Hey! That applied to me before I came here!
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“Today on Doctor Who: A shocking new study shows that Dalek rays may cause extermination. Learn how to protect you and your family, today at 5.”
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Mr. Joe gets Austria and Australia mixed up.
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Mr. Joe is a fatty. Adopted … fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Mr. Joe has the intelligence of Wheatley with the personality of GLaDOS, while his appearance is closer to the poisonous floor liquid in some of the chambers.
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Mr. Joe spams the Internet with obscene profanity.
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So HE’S the one responsible!
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Mr. Joe is why Smithsonian Magazine feels they have to act like the poor man’s National Geographic instead of being their own wonderful, special self.
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Mr. Joe canceled Firefly! *mashes and sets on fire*
Mr. Joe is a pony hater.
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Joe Kittinger’s many awesome deeds have been all in an attempt at the general purpose of rehabilitating the name “Joe” from the damage Mr. Joe has caused to it. Sadly, he is but one man.
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Mr. Joe is a simian-descended, equivocating, pronoun-starved little mortal twerp.
(Best Insult Ever, first uttered by a Transcendent Pig).
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Mr. Joe is the reason Latin Club meetings are set for the same day of the week as Brain Game team meetings, and also the reason that they only happen once a month (the Latin Club meetings).
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A few days late, I suppose, but:
YOU’RE A MEAN ONE
MR. JOE
YOU REALLY ARE A HEEL
YOU’RE AS CUDDLY AS A CACTUS
YOU’RE AS CHARMING AS AN EEL*
MR. JOE
You’re a bad banana with a
Greasy black peel!
YOU’RE A MONSTER
MR. JOE
YOUR HEART’S AN EMPTY HOLE
YOUR BRAIN IS FULL OF SPIDERS*
YOU’VE GOT GARLIC* IN YOUR SOUL
MR. JOE
I wouldn’t touch you with a
Thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole!
YOU’RE A VILE ONE
MR. JOE
YOU HAVE TERMITES* IN YOUR SMILE
YOU HAVE ALL THE TENDER SWEETNESS
OF A SEASICK CROCODILE
MR. JOE
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the, uh…
Seasick crocodile!
YOU’RE A FOUL ONE
MR. JOE
YOU’RE A NASTY, WASTY SKUNK*
YOUR HEART IS FULL OF UNWASHED SOCKS
YOUR SOUL IS FULL OF GUNK
MR. JOE
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:
“Stink, stank, stunk!”
YOU’RE A ROTTER
MR. JOE
YOU’RE A ROTTER
MR. JOE
YOU’RE THE KING OF SINFUL SOTS
YOUR HEART’S A DEAD TOMATO
SQUASHED WITH MOLDY PURPLE SPOTS
MR. JOE
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgracefull assortment of rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled knots!
YOU NAUSEATE ME
MR. JOE
WITH A NOXIOUS, SUPER “NAUS”
YOU’RE A CROOKED, JERKY JOCKEY
AND YOU DRIVE A CROOKED HOSS
MR. JOE
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!
*I apologize to the organisms mentioned here, because I do think this song is rather harsh on them. However, I’m not nearly as creative as whoever wrote the original version, and it’s really hard to come up with alternative lyrics (replacing ‘Grinch’ with ‘Joe’ all the time is easy). Just rest assured that, I, for one, find eels very charming, for example, certainly more so than Mr. Joe. I’m just too lazy to replace the insults.
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Mr. Joe is the reason I can’t sleep at night
.
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Mr. Joe spits chewing gum in public water fountains.
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Mr. Joe invented the SAT and GRE.
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I must say, it’s nice to see old getting kicked around again.
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Mr. Joe wakes people up at 4AM with loud music.
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Hey, I went to college with him!
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Mr. Joe lost my SAT Spanish score.
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Can I rip ‘s long intestine out and hang him with it, then remove his intact blood veins and display them on the wall? 
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I’m not sure emoticons have internal organs, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.
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Hey, plastinated, Mr. Joe could be a useful aide for teaching anatomy. Then he’d actually be good for something.
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Except he’s almost entirely full of hot air, so there wouldn’t be that much to see…
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It was Mr. Joe’s idea for some of my colleges to not accept the Common Application.
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Oh man, who designs all of these graduate applications? Why isn’t there a Common Application like for college? Who designed this dumb system anyway?
Oh, right.
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Mr Joe is the one who jammed my locker today so I couldn’t get my clarinet and was late for band. 
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Who the &%$& thought it was a good idea to design software where the buttons for “Finish” and “Reset (like all the work you just did never happened)” right next to each other where one can easily click the second when reaching for the first?
Oh right, of course.
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