Partial Scripts
Writing a script? Here’s a place for works in progress.
Date: June 7, 2007
Categories: Random craziness
Wednesday, 24 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
Writing a script? Here’s a place for works in progress.
Date: June 7, 2007
Categories: Random craziness
I have about 32 pages (microsoft word) of script. And it is almost 5,000 words. I’m guessing that’s too big, but here is an excerpt: It’s not the best scene I’ve written, and it’s probably confusing since it’s the third scene, and other stuff has happened, etc. And the format gets all messed up when I post it here. But oh well.
Here’s a quick overview, so it may be a little easier to understand: Luna is 12, and her mother is, um, let’s just say 42. The USA (where they live) is at war with Japan. Luna has a pen-pal in Japan named Alice. Luna’s mother is being sort of brainwashed by the government. I think that is enough to understand the scene, but I’m not sure.
Act 1, Scene 3
(Luna sits in the kitchen of her house. She is sitting at a wooden table, pushed against the wall of the room. Three large windows occupy the wall, flooding light into the room. She is eating a bowl of cereal. Her mother stands at a stove, making some kind of eggs. Luna is reading the back of her cereal box.)
LUNA
One-hundred twenty calories, two grams of fat, zero milligrams of cholesterol, two-hundred seventy milligrams of sodium, twenty-two grams of carbohydrates…
MOTHER
Oh, Luna, will you just be quiet!
LUNA
But don’t you want to know how much protein is in it? It’s four grams, by the way.
MOTHER
No, I didn’t want to know. I am eating eggs for breakfast, not cheerios. Why would I care what you were eating?
LUNA
Because I’m your daughter. Your own flesh and bones…
MOTHER
Oh, just shut up!
LUNA
What’s wrong with you today? Is this still about the Japan thing?
MOTHER
No.
LUNA
(sarcastically)
Sure…
MOTHER
I don’t want to talk about it. Keep reading your label.
LUNA
But five seconds ago you told me I wasn’t allowed to do it.
MOTHER
Ssh. You’re going to make me burn my eggs.
LUNA
(sighing)
Zero percent vitamin A, zero percent vitamin C, four percent Calcium, thirty percent iron, zero percent vitamin D, four percent Thiamine…
MOTHER
Please don’t write to Alice anymore.
LUNA
Why?
MOTHER
(sarcastically)
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because, hmm. Maybe because it is illegal and she is evil?
LUNA
What? Alice isn’t evil!
MOTHER
She lives in Japan. She’s evil.
LUNA
That’s the most stereotypical thing I have ever heard.
MOTHER
I do not stereotype people.
LUNA
“She lives in Japan. She’s evil.” (sarcastically) That is not stereotypical at all.
MOTHER
It isn’t! How is that stereotypical?
LUNA
Because you just generalized the entire country as evil!
MOTHER
Well, it’s true.
LUNA
Oh, please. Two percent Ribo-ribofla-riboflavin. Six percent Niacin. Ten percent vitamin B6.
MOTHER
Excuse me, Luna, we are not done with this conversation.
LUNA
Oh I’m sorry, did you say something? Eight percent Folate, Zero percent vitamin B12. Six percent Panthothenate.
(Lights fade out, and Luna continues to read the label on the cereal box. Her voice is still reading when the lights are black, and then it fades out as well.)
Please post more!
ERm, Here’s the whole thing so far. It is exactly 32 pages, and 4881 words long. Sorry, but I must post the whole thing! Otherwise it doesn’t make sense.
Esperanza Claudia Anastasia Trishia Millentando Goes on and Adventure
(Being the Adventures of a 12 year old girl, a 14 year old amateur magician, and a magic carpet.)
FADE IN:
Espi is a young girl of age 12. She has a British accent and has lived in England her entire life. She has dusty blonde hair that trails to her mid back, and blue eyes on the verge of being green. Her skirt is striped horizontally and is multi colored, with fringe at the bottom. Espi is sitting on the ground, outside of a very, very large building that has a large street running towards it.
JEREMY
(Walking towards the building at a quick pace) Who are you?
ESPERANZA CLAUDIA ANASTASIA TRISHIA MILLENTANDO THE THIRD (ESPI)
(Looking up) What do you mean who am I?
JEREMY
I mean exactly what I say, pray tell, what is your name?
ESPI
Esperanza Claudia Anastasia Trishia Millentando. Also known as Espi, Trish, Millie, Ana, Stacy…
JEREMY
Fine fine! Stop talking! I am Jeremy. Why are you sitting on the ground? It is dirty, and you are blocking the door to the office of Canter Millentando. He will not be happy when I arrive late for my appointment because of a silly girl.
Jeremy stares at the girl for a few long moments until she looks up from the knots she has been tying in her skirt.
ESPI
Silly girl? As far as I can see, you aren’t much more than a boy yourself Mr. High and Mighty.
JEREMY
Well would you move? Now?
Espi, interjecting, stares up at Jeremy…
ESPI
Actually, I won’t. Father told me to stop everyone who came here. He told me to because I’m the most darling little girl there ever was.
JEREMY
(Staring coldly at Espi) Did your father tell you why he had you sit in front of a very tall building, near a very busy road, very early in the morning, on the very cold ground?
ESPI
(Puzzled) Well, no. (With sudden enthusiasm) But I can take you to his office if you’d like! It’s just down the street, we can catch the bus if you’d like, or maybe you’d rather walk?
JEREMY
Walking is fine with me. It will be much faster, but are you sure that your ‘father’ is home?
ESPI
I assume so. Where else would he be?
JEREMY
Your father is a remarkable businessman. He may very well be in China or Africa selling his marvelous carpets, but you would know if he were gone wouldn’t you?
ESPI
Well of course! He’s not in any of the places that you mentioned, but he could be in Ireland… He might have mentioned that earlier…
JEREMY
What do you mean? Is he in Ireland or isn’t he?
ESPI
Don’t know. Let’s go home and check. OK?
JEREMY
Fine, but hurry. I don’t have time to play silly games with children.
ESPI
I am not a child. And anyway, you’re not that much older than me. You’re only a head taller!
JEREMY
But I, unlike you, am more mature. Now let’s walk. You go first, as I don’t know where you’re father’s house is.
ESPI
Okey Dokey.
FADE IN
Ext. Large Mansion, Painted pale blue and Victorian-esque.
ESPI
Here we are!! Aren’t you excited? This is the first time that I’ve ever had anyone over to my house before. I mean, even if you are a business partner of dad’s, I brought you here didn’t I? I’m so happy!
JEREMY
You mean that I am the first person that you have ever had at your house before, by your doing? I am honored, Esperanza Claudia Anastasia Trishia Millentando the Third, to be your first guest.
ESPI
(flattered) Well thank you. Shall we go inside?
JEREMY
It does happen to be quite early in the morning. No later than 7:00 to be exact. If your father, Mr. Werthing, does happen to be home, which he very well may not, he will not be too happy to have an unexpected visitor at his door.
ESPI
It’s like father always says, “An unexpected hour is the best hour for visitors. If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine, but at some point I would like to Know. We could sneak into the house through my window if you wish. Would that be better?
JEREMY
Contrary to popular belief, climbing in through 12 year old girls’ windows is not he best way to enter a house. No, I think that we should go in through the front door. Do you have a maid or a nanny who would hear the bell?
ESPI
Yes we do. Mrs. Point is the nanny. She’s not so very nice. I don’t like her much at all, but father says that I need her to take care of me. I don’t need anyone to take care of me, but father never listens.
JEREMY
You are only twelve, so you still need a nanny. I could be your nanny if you like.
ESPI
Really!?!
JEREMY
No. Why would I want to do that? I would lose all of my wonderful business opportunities!
ESPI
Well fine. You shouldn’t offer something if you’re not going to give it you know. It’s impolite. Why were you so early at the office this morning? Father said that no one would be there until after 8. You were unexpected.
JEREMY
An unexpected hour’s the best hour for visitors!
ESPI
I know, but what were you doing there?
JEREMY
If I tell you will you promise to keep it a secret?
Door opens and a short chubby woman in a white frilly apron steps out onto the porch
MRS. POINT
What are you doing here? Mr. Werthing didn’t say anything about any visitors. Especially not at this time at night.
JEREMY
My name is Jeremy Fisak, and I am here to see Mr. Canter Werthing about business matters. Does he happen to be in the vicinity?
MRS. POINT
No, actually he doesn’t. He isn’t here at the moment. Leave. Immediately.
ESPI
But Mrs. Point, Jeremy walked all of the way here with me. You wouldn’t want to disappoint my first guest at the house would you?
MRS. POINT
(Turning to Espi) I would not like to disappoint one of your little friends Ana, but at this time in the morning I don’t care who you bring home, it could be the Queen of England for all I care, and I still wouldn’t let her in.
ESPI
But Mrs. Point…
MRS. POINT
No. Jeremy Fisak, if that is really your name, scram. Leave. Shoo. Bye-Bye.
I have no time for matters of business, no matter how important. My job is to take care of this impudent disagreeable young girl. Good-bye.
JEREMY
If I may inquire as to where Mr. Werthing is?
MRS. POINT
You may not. Now go.
Jeremy walks slowly off the stoop leaving Espi in the care of Mrs. Point, stunned and confused.
FADE IN:
ESPI AND MRS.POINT HAVE AN ARGUMENT
Espi gets in the house and has a mini-argument with Mrs. Point, and sneaks out to find Jeremy.
ESPI
I wanted Jeremy to come in! You are the most evil old hag that I’ve ever known!
MRS.POINT
Well forgive me for punishing you for being out in the streets of London at 7:00 in the morning! Someone around here has to have some sense of responsibility.
ESPI
But father told me to go sit outside of his office! He woke me up real early this morning just to tell me that. I don’t think he wanted anyone to go inside.
MRS. POINT
Espi, if your father had wanted you to sit outside on the dirty street he would have told me first. What were you doing outside?
ESPI
I swear! That’s the truth! Except when Jeremy came he really seemed to want to see father, so I decided to take him home. I didn’t know where father was, or if he had left yet, so I figured we would see.
MRS.POINT
Well no matter how beseechingly he whined, you should still not bring young men home at early hours unfit for people to be up! Go to your room and stay there until breakfast. I shall send Clara up with your breakfast.
ESPI
But Mrs. Point…
MRS. POINT
Go. Now.
Espi stalks off to her room, upset.
ESPI
(To herself) If only I could prove to Mrs. Point that father really did tell me that. But what if he didn’t? What if it was really some evil impersonator trying to get me out of the house so that he could do his evil bidding! (Gasp) That must be it! I have to find Jeremy!
The window creaks, and a stone is heard hitting the pane.
ESPI
I wonder what that was?
Espi walks over to the window and looks down to see Jeremy with a rope.
ESPI
Jeremy! What are you doing here? I thought you would be too mature and too high and mighty to come and see a lowly girl like myself.
JEREMY
Well you were wrong. Now come down here before I wake up the staff! I’m glad this was your room. I tried some others but I was afraid to call out.
ESPI
I think I’ve discovered a mystery Jeremy! What if it wasn’t father who told me to sit outside? What if it was an imposter?
JEREMY
Well climb down this rope and then we’ll talk about it.
ESPI
Contrary to popular belief, climbing out of 12 year old girls’ windows is not the best way to exit a house. I’ll sneak past Mrs. Point. She’s the only one that’s up anyway.
JEREMY
Fine, just hurry! We don’t want to get caught!
ESPI
Jeremy! Meet me one block further! At the bus station!
JEREMY
Fine, Fine, HURRY!!!
Espi runs from the window, shutting it, and quickly but quietly opens the door. She creeps down the stairs taking care not to squeak. She sees Mrs. Point and walks even slower, but Mrs. Point turns. She ducks just in time and crawls toward the door. She opens it from the bottom and is squeaks, but Mrs. Point doesn’t notice. Espi crawls out the door, and then, once outside, breaks into a run.
ESPI
Phew! I made it! I wonder what Mrs. Point will tell everyone else. I’ll have to tell Jeremy all about my daring escape!
JEREMY
Wow, that was fast. Did Mrs. Point catch you? Do you think she noticed?
ESPI
Old Mrs. Point? Naw. She’d not notice anything less it was standing right in front of her.
JEREMY
Well in any case, I think that we’d better clear out of this place. DO you have any idea where your father might be?
ESPI
Well, the guy who was an imposter may have mentioned Africa. I think he said that dad was going to sell carpets there. They certainly would be popular in those hot countries.
JEREMY
Well then should we head to Africa?
ESPI
You mean that you have such unlimited resources that with a snap of your fingers you can get us to Africa?
Jeremy snaps his fingers and the scene changes to the Sahara desert
JEREMY
Yes.
ESPI
Well I’ll be. You really can. Was that magic?
JEREMY
How else did you expect me to get us to Africa?
ESPI
I thought that maybe we would fly there by plane, but that was fine. Quite enjoyable actually.
JEREMY
Would you like to do it again?
ESPI
Well sure!
Jeremy snaps his fingers, and the scene changes to London
ESPI
(In exasperation) Jeremy! Get us back to Africa!
Jeremy snaps his fingers and the scene changes once more to the African desert. They are standing on the top of a sand dune, and looking out in all directions on sand.
JEREMY
Well since you insisted. Here we are.
ESPI
Thanks. Now let’s go find Dad.
JEREMY
Now you just wait a minute. WE can’t just go wandering around the Sahara Desert in no direction, that will kill us!
ESPI
Why can’t we just walk that way? (Points to her left.)
JEREMY
Is there something special in that direction? Or do you just like going left?
ESPI
Well there’s nothing there, but anywhere’s better than here.
JEREMY
Well before we get going we need food, water, a tent or something so we can sleep, basic supplies.
ESPI
Can’t you just poof us some?
JEREMY
Magic doesn’t work that way. You see, we magicians believe that there are two higher powers in the sky. One of them, named Ethel,
ESPI
(Interjecting) Ethel? Couldn’t you have named your imaginary higher power something better than Ethel?
JEREMY
No. Now to finish my explanation, Ethel is the power that grants the wishes of us ‘magicians’. Her counterpart, Mario,
ESPI
Mario? I mean who though of these lame names?
JEREMY
Shut up. Now as I was about to say, Mario determines if the wish is worthy of Ethel’s time and power. If they think the wish is funny, or interests them, but not particularly useful, they may occasionally grant the wish too.
ESPI
Ok, I sorta get it. So aren’t food, water, and a tent necessary for survival here in the Sahara Desert?
JEREMY
Yeah, they’d probably grant that. I just didn’t want you to get a false impression that I can do anything. There are limits too, like I can’t bring people back from the dead or possess anyone.
ESPI
Well do these wishes have to be out loud? Or does some sort of motion have to accompany them? And why did they grant your wish to go to London for no reason?
JEREMY
They do not have to be out loud, but there does have to be some sort of motion. When a magician is young, I was 8; they choose what they’re method of contacting Ethel and Mario will be. It can be a word, a clap, or more complicated, like a series of taps in Morse code. I chose a snap. And they granted it because they thought it was funny. I asked.
ESPI
So If I were to snap my hands and wish for something, nothing out of the ordinary would happen. Correct? And you can talk to them?
JEREMY
Correct. I can talk to them as I am a senior magician. Only magicians who have pledged themselves to doing the work of Ethel and Mario can contact Ethel and Mario. By the way, we usually refer to them as a pair as the Divinely Holy Leaders of the Most Sacred Congregation of Magicians.
ESPI
Well that reference is way, way longer than just saying their names. I think I’ll stick with that. You’re not a senior magician. You’re only 14!
JEREMY
That is how I appear. In spirit I am actually in my early twenties. Much older than you, little girl.
ESPI
I am not little!
JEREMY
You are. But that’s beside the point.
Jeremy snaps his fingers, and a pile that is a tent, backpacks full of portable food, and bottled of water appear next to him on the sand.
JERERMY
There we are. Here’s all of our supplies, Ethel was glad I asked soon, she was getting bored of waiting for me to formulate my wish.
ESPI
Does she know all of you by name?
JEREMY
Most all. I am one of the more… (Falters) notorious magicians of my age.
ESPI
Oooh, what have you done?
JEREMY
Well I’ve been arrested and let out of jail multiple times. It was more of a prank than an actual arrest though.
ESPI
So you’re an escaped jailbird! Awesome! I’m with a notorious magician!
JEREMY
(Slyly, but with a smile) You’re lucky I took pity on you.
ESPI
(Still cheerful)Yeah, well, I’m just so sweet that you couldn’t resist me.
JEREMY
(Suddenly serious) Let’s not go there.
ESPI
(Coldly) Fine. Now we need to get going. Can you only wish for material things, or can you wish for information?
JEREMY
(warming up again) The Divinely Holy Leaders of the Most Sacred Congregation of Magicians will not tell us the exact location of any one person, but they can put us in the direction. I will let you know though; they can be quite fickle and lead us the wrong way.
ESPI
Huh. Well, why don’t you ask them where my dad is? Just for starters.
JEREMY
Ok. (Pauses and snaps his fingers) well, Ethel told me that your dad’s in Antarctica. So I’m assuming they’re fed up and want me to stop asking for things. Now that we have supplies we can walk whatever way you want.
ESPI
Ok. Let’s go that way (points to her left)
JEREMY
Fine
THREE DAYS LATER
JEREMU
We’ve been walking forever! Are you absolutely positively sure that your dad told you he was in Africa?
ESPI
Well, no, because we think he was an imposter. Remember?
JEREMY
Oh yeah. Well should I ask the Divinely Holy Leaders of the Most Sacred Congregation of Magicians to tell us which way to go?
ESPI
Wait!
JEREMY
What?
ESPI
I think I see something! Over there! (Points straight ahead, where you can see a very small bump)
JEREMY
Where?
ESPI
(Still pointing) There!
JEREMY
OH! I see. That little tiny miniscule bump that is at the top of that hill. Oh yes, I definitely think that we should go investigate a piece of matter so small it is barely perceptible to humans. Yes let’s go look.
ESPI
Jeremy, I really think we should go over there. It would only take us like an hour! Not very long at all… please?
JEREMY
Fine, but If there’s nothing there then I will be so mad.
The two walk the distance to the small dot where they find a stone tablet.
JEREMY
Well since we have to walk all this way, I might as well tell you why I was at your dad’s office building (trailing off)
ESPI
Jeremy! Look what I found!
JEREMY
What is it?
ESPI
It’s a stone tablet! It says ‘and late in the age of men two shall come looking and find what they seek where they least expect it. But the article they seek will not help them on their quest, and their finding will hinder them on their quest.’
JEREMY
I’ll bet it’s a prophecy.
ESPI
Oh. Well if that’s all it is, we’d better get going.
JEREMY
Why? Don’t you want to spend time figuring it out?
ESPI
Are you serious? Those things are so cliché. Just go ahead and contact the
Divinely Holy Leaders of the Most Sacred Congregation of Magicians so that we can get out of here.
JEREMY
Ok. (Closes eyes and snaps his fingers. Pauses. The audience hears him quietly muttering to himself)
ESPI
Well?
JEREMY
Shush! You’ll break the connection!
ESPI
(In a whisper) Fine.
JEREMY
(Pauses) They say that, momentarily, their powers have gone. There has been a huge lack of wishes, which means that either a large number of magicians have died or stopped believing in Ethel and Mario
ESPI
(Muttering to herself)If I had to believe in something called Ethel or Mario, I wouldn’t believe for very long.
JEREMY
What did you say?
EPSI
Oh, nothing.
JEREMY
Well, in any case, we need to get going. Which way do you want to go?
ESPI
Let’s just keep heading in the same direction.
JEREMY
Which is where?
ESPI
Um, that way? (Points to her left)
JEREMY
Oh great. Now we’re stuck In the middle of the Sahara Desert, and we’re lost.
ESPI
We’re no lost, we just don’t know where we are.
JEREMY
Well that’s a kind way of putting it.
ESPI
Hey look what’s that over there!
JEREMY
What?
ESPI
There!
JEREMY
I don’t see anything.
ESPI
Ha! Gotcha.
JEREMY
Oh very funny. Especially since we are in desperate need of company. You aren’t much good.
ESPI
Hey! I take offense to that!
JEREMY
Well I would hope so! If you weren’t offended there would be something wrong with you.
ESPI
Humph
The two walk in silence for a while, and grump at each other. Then Espi gets bored, and tells a joke.
ESPI
Hey Jeremy, want to hear a joke?
JEREMY
No.
ESPI
Come on, it’s a really good one!
JEREMY
No
ESPI
Please?
JEREMY
Fine, let’s hear it.
ESPI
Ok. What is the difference between an elephant and a banana?
JEREMY
I don’t know, what is the difference between an elephant and a banana?
ESPI
Well I won’t send you out to do my shopping then!
JEREMY
Ha Ha HA. That was very funny.
ESPI
What, didn’t you like it?
JEREMY
At another time perhaps, but right now? When we are in the middle of the Sahara Desert fighting practically for our lives against the elements?
ESPI
Well, since we are just walking along in the sand for hours on end, I don’t think it really matters how we spend our time. Telling jokes would only make or endless walking more fun, while silence makes any journey drag on farther than the end.
JERMY
Wow, that’s quite a speech from you Espi. Anyway, I guess you’re right. Well, let’s not tell jokes OK? I’m not much of a guy for humor. You’d be telling all the jokes.
ESPI
Well, then Iwon’t tell jokes. What do you want to talk about then?
JEREMY
Well I was just about to tell you why I’d been at your fathers office.
ESPI
Oh! Do tell!
JEREMY
Well the reason –I ran into you there was because…
A large rumbling sound is heard, overpowers Jeremy’s voice and Espi’s voice. A huge tower spirals out of the sand, accompanied by a man’s deep voice.
(VO) MAN’S VOICE
What are you two doing in my garden?
The two stare at the dower in disbelief. Espi and Jeremy pause for a long moment, and then Jeremy speaks.
JEREMY
Pardon us, we are just two lost travelers.
(VO) MAN’S VOICE
(Severely) Travelers? There have not been travelers here in a good many years. Why are you here?
ESPI
We’re looking for my dad. He’s lost.
(VO) MAN’S VOICE
Why do you believe that your father is here?
ESPI
We think that he told me he was here. Or in Africa at least. He did not specifically say anything about being I nthe Sahara Desert, but I guessed that was what he meant. Of course, it may have been an imposter that told me that. It was very early in the morning. I can’t be quite sure. Dad told me to go sit outside his building to tell people not to come in because he was going to be in Africa. So then Jeremy arrives, and he’s like, Why won’t you let me in? And so I’m like,
(VO) MAN’S VOICE
Ok enough! Enter into my tower of DOOOOOOOOM!!!
JEREMY
Why are we entering into the tower of Doom?
(VO) MAN’S VOICE
We have cookies in here!
ESPI
Ok. Sounds good to me.
Espi confidently walks up to the tower and opens the large wooden door. Jeremy walks a few paces behind her and enters last, looking around the tower as he shuts the door.
ESPI
Hello? Anybody home?
A maid in a pale blue apron runs toward them.
MAID
(out of breath) Hello. (panting) may I take your coats?
JEREMY
Actually miss, we don’t have nay coats. We’ve been trekking along In the Sahara Desert for 5 or so days, and we’ve been pretty warm
MAID
I see. wEll can I take your tent for you then?
JEREMY
Sure thing. Do you know where the voice that wastalking to us is? Or at least the body it was coming from?
MAID
Who? Oh, you must mean Oscar Diggs, the master. He still has fun with his voice machine does he now?
JEREMY
Yes. He was talking to us outside.
MAID
Well he’s upstairs in his tower. It’s just up those stairs there (points to here right). Would you like me to show you the way?
JEREMY
Sure. Do you possibly have anything to eat? Mr. Diggs said that you had cookies.
MAID
Yes we do. I’ve just baked up a batch now. I’ll bring them up to you in a minute.
The trio walks up the stairs, with the maid at the head followed by Jeremy and then Espi. The staircase is a spiral staircase and takes them about ten minutes to climb.
ESPI
Is there no elevator in this place?
MAID
Sorry, but no. Mr. Diggs prefers to get a workout walking up and down the stairs. He says it is good for his heart.
ESPI
Well all right then. Is there more of this tower castle-y thing below the ground? And how did you get it to rise out with that rumbley sound?
MAID
Oscar can tell you. He invented it.
ESPI
All right. Are we almost there?
MAID.
Yes. Here we are.
The maid opens the door to a large room filled with al sorts of equipment, most outdated like a large laboratory with curling wires and tubes, along with a computer, large desk covered in papers, and a video screen. There is a large booth near the left wall where Oscar Diggs is standing.
OSCAR ZOROASTER PHADRIG ISAAC NORMAN HENKEL DIGGS (OSCAR DIGGS)
Oh! Here you are! I was wondering how long it would take you to climb those stairs.
JEREMY
A while. Now what information do you have about Espi’s dad?
OSCAR DIGGS
Well, I had heard rumors that he was to be here today. You see, I can sort of kind of see the future.
ESPI
Really! What will happen to me when I’m older?
OSCAR DIGGS
Did you not hear the sort of kind of? I get inklings of things that may happen, not definite signs of what will happen.
ESPI
Oh. Well do you know where my dad sort of kind of is?
OSCAR DIGGS
He was supposed to be here today. He was supposed to drop I nfor some cookies.
ESPI
(suspiciously)How do you know my father?
OSCAR DIGGS
Oh your father and Igo way back. Canter Millentando, right?
ESPI
Yes.
OSCAR DIGGS
Well you see, your father and I met in grade school ,and then somehow wound up at the same college together. Of course, after that I dabbled in some magic, different from yours Jeremy, and wound up in, you guessed it, Oz.
JEREMY
(Eagerly) So what is your magic like? Does it involve wishes too?
OSCAR DIGGS
My magic has more spells, wands, and incantations. There is also a lot more show stuff, like the giant projected head. There are no Divinely Holy Leaders of the Most Sacred Congregation of Magicians to pay attention to either.
JEREMY
(severely, seriously) So are you the reason that Ethel and Mario have faded? People are practicing your magic and not the wishful kind?
OSCAR DIGGS
No, no. There is a reason I am in this tower you know. The person responsible for the wishful thinker’s downfall is Mr. Locke Newbet. He is a truly evil character. I wouldn’t want to run into him on a dark night.
JEREMY
Then why do you still use his way of magic?
OSCAR DIGGS
Well it’s not as if the magic is evil. If you had the same shirt as an evil person, you wouldn’t stop wearing the shirt would you?
JEREMY
Actually I would.
OSCAR DIGGS
Well you get the point. Anyway, Espi, your father has helped me out of many a tight spot. Including Oz. He sent me that hot air balloon you know. Anyway, that’s why I’m stuck here. The balloon landed here, and now I don’t know where to go. I’m lost, and Bertha, my maid, just happened to find me. Of course, she doesn’t know where we are either. (calling down the stairs) You can bring those cookies up now Bertha! (to the kids) I hope she heard me.
BERTHA, THE MAID
(heard faintly, but was yelled) Fine Oscar! Cookies are coming!
ESPI
So can’t you use your magic to get you out of here?
OSCAR DIGGS
Well you see, that’s the problem. My msgic only works on material things.
JEREMY
Well your tower is material, isn’t it?
OSCAR DIGGS
Yes, but it’s too big for me to do anything with. I could use some help.
ESPI
Do you want to try contacting Ethel and Mario again Jeremy?
JEREMY
I can try. Quiet for a minute.
The room goes quiet. Jeremy snaps his fingers, and mutters under his breath. He pauses, then looks up.
JEREMY
The Connection was faint, but there.
ESPI
What did they say?
OSCAR DIGGS
(Under his breath) Fascinating.
JEREMY
They said that their powers weren’t back yet. They can’t grant wishes, but they can still talk to the remaining magicians. They did say that you can be a part of both magical cultures, but most lose interest in ours after trying the other.
OSCAR DIGGS
That was just fascinating work Jeremy. I have always wanted to see someone actually perform Wishful Thinking before, and now my wish has come true!
Sound good? I know I need to add a description of Jeremy.
That’s good. And it’s not hard to understand at all.
Argh my hand hurts.
I’m going to try to get to 5000 by tomorrow. (Dream on, Alice.) Oh well, I can always try.
This page is really really long, and there’s only been 4 posts! xD
2 – Green Qween’s full name and address is at the top of post 2!!! Quick, GAPAs!!! Do your stuff!!!
Oh good they snipped it.
It’s not too bad. For 4 posts I guess you’ve got a point though.
Sorry. Whn you format a script that’s how it’s supposed to be. Sorry.
That was a close call. Dangerous information was online for a few minutes. Be sure to check and make sure your name, address and phone number is not included when you post your script, people!
Wow, GAPAs! How did you let that slip through?
Good job, GQ! I like it. Are you using a special program to format your script, or just a basic word processing program? I’m using Celtx, but to get the word count I put it into microsoft word.
10: The GAPAs are great and powerful but unfortunately not infallible, at least I’m not.
10- Same. Actually I write it in Word and copy it into Celtx.
I’ll post mine or some of mine later, but right now I have to go.
To know what’s going on, you have to know that Max accidentally made a bargain with the journal, that he would write in it if it told him Jillie’s secrets. Then Jillie found out and the book spoke to her. She is now very mad at Max.
Part of Scene Twelve, in which Jillie and Max argue, and I write lots of words without really getting anywhere:
CUT TO INT. Living room. Max is sitting on the couch, talking on the phone.
MAX
Uh-oh.
He pauses while the person on the other end of the phone says something. Finally he interrupts urgently.
MAX
Look, Caleb, Jillie just found out about something. I really have to go. ‘Bye! (he presses the button that turns off the phone)
Jillie comes in, looking furious.
JILLIE
Max, did you hide a tape recorder in my journal, or something?
MAX
Never. Why, did it (giggle) talk to you or something?
JILLIE
NO! Of course not. I’m not some gullible idiot. You must have hidden a recorder in it.
MAX
It did talk to you. And yes, you are a gullible idiot. Or at least gullible, I wouldn’t say you were an idiot . . . quite.
JILLIE
Max! That’s rude.
MAX
Well, so are some of the things you’ve written about me.
JILLIE
You read my journal! I told you not to read my journal!
MAX
I never read a word.
JILLIE
You must have. How else could you know my secrets?
MAX
Why would I tell you that?
JILLIE
Well, you wrote in my journal, whether you read it or not. And you tampered with it.
MAX
Besides the writing, I didn’t tamper in the least.
JILLIE
So you admit it! You wrote in MY diary! And you wrote a totally lame sentence!
MAX
Well, I can’t help it if my writing’s lame! I didn’t want to write in your stupid journal!
There is a moment of silence as this sinks in.
JILLIE
Well, if you didn’t want to write, why did you?
MAX
(muttering) I had to keep my end of the bargain.
JILLIE
A bargain . . . That’s what the journal said. How do I know this isn’t some trick? How do I know you aren’t just pulling my leg and trying to make me look stupid?
MAX
You don’t. Do you need to?
JILLIE
Yes. If you are, I’ll tell Mom that you’re getting into my stuff. If you aren’t, I’ll – I’ll – I don’t know what I’ll do.
MAX
Well, I’m not, so don’t you dare tell Mom.
JILLIE
You are too getting into my stuff. You said yourself that you wrote in my journal.
MAX
But I didn’t read it. There’s no rule about not writing in a journal, just not reading one.
JILLIE
But if you didn’t read my journal, how did you know I’m scared of the dark?
MAX
Would you believe me if I told you?
Looking over that scene it’s not very good at all, no matter how well it flew off the tips of my fingers. This thing is going to need some major editing, someday when my main goal is not to get to 20,000 words before the end of the month. It could be really good, with some thought, but it’s not right now.
Why was green qween’s information on the top???
15 – Because it’s supposed to be at the top of a script. When she cut and pasted it to MuseBlog, though, she forgot to ommit the information, and the GAPAs didn’t notice because the post was so long. If you make a super-long post, you can sneak just about any text you want in the middle.
It’s filler, that is.
16- But wouldn’t that imply that the GAPAs didn’t read the posts?
We will redouble our vigilance.
18-Good. But I don’t want to say anything at all, not even my first name. If you see someone trying to post my first name, please snip it because just looking my name on google will send you right to where I live and my whole name.
Anyway, that was off-topic.
What I said was off-topic. Soorry for the double post!
19- Wow! That uncommon, huh?
19 – If your full name and stuff is on the internet, why do you worry about people here knowing it?
21 – Try googling “Ivars”, the name of the Muse Math Columnist.
17 – They can’t read the entire post. They have limited time. So stuff gets through. I noticed on an old Muse movie thread, when a script was posted there was some language that GAPAs would’ve snipped if they had read it.
19 – Really? Must be a unique name! I found my dad’s info on a random tracking site once…scary!
STUPID COMPUTER!!!!!! IT DELETED THE 600 WORDS I WROTE THIS MORNING!!!! GARRRGH1!!!!!!!1!!
25- Oh no! That’s terrible! My script is coming along okay, but I only have 4300 or something like that. I had to abandon it to work on my story this morning, because that was coming and this is not.
JEREMY
What can we do to try and get this castle out of here?
OSCAR DIGGS
Well, if you were to help me do my chanting, we might be able to get it done faster. WE would also need everyone to help focus their willpower.
ESPI
So what do you want us to do?
OSCAR DIGGS
Espi, you and Maria will hold your arms akimbo and walk in a smaller circle than Jeremy and I do. Walk inside the circle we make, and say, I want to go to England. I want to go to England. I want to go to England. over and over.
ESPI
Okay. That sounds easy enough.
OSCAR DIGGS
Jeremy, you just copy what I do. Here, this will be your temporary wand. (hands Jeremy and old stick from and oak tree)
JEREMY
Um, thanks.
OSCAR DIGGS
Ok everyone; remember to concentrate all of your willpower on moving this castle to England.
Oscar begins walking in a circle with his hands on his head. He walks three times clockwise, then crouches down and taps the floor three times with his wand. He then jumps up and spins around in a Pirouette-esque twirl. While doing this he Chants
OSCAR DIGGS
(while doing the dance described above) Riki Temwe, Ghiki Bwembe, Lilili Rowlendon, Trium Trium Breee! Riki Temwe, Ghiki Bwembe, Lilili Rowlendon, Trium Trium Breee!
ESPI
(walking in a circle) I want to go to England. I want to go to England. I want to go to England.
JEREMY
(copying Oscar’s dance) Riki Temwe, Ghiki Bwembe, Lilili Rowlendon, Trium Trium Breee!
MARIA
(Walking In a circle) I want to go to England. I want to go to England. I want to go to England.
The four continue their dances for about an hour. Oblivious to all, the castle starts to shake beneath them. There is a humungous popping sound and the view out the window changes from yellow sand to a green meadow with a pond in the middle, and a village in the distance.
ESPI
Hey, Look! There’s grass out side!
JEREMY
Riki Temwe… What did you say Espi?
EPSI
There’s grass outside the window!
JEREMY
That’s great! Oscar, Maria, come look! We’re in England!
MARIA
Yay! Race you to the bottom!
The four race to be the first to the bottom of the stairs. When they get outside they take note of the village at the top of the hill.
ESPI
Let’s go swimming! Hey Oscar, let’s go swimming! Please?
OSCAR DIGGS
Espi, none of us have swim suits. Also, don’t you want ot go see what’s up in the village? It will give us a chance to stretch our legs.
JEREMY
(Under his breath) Oh yes, stretch our legs. As if walking in circles for an hour wasn’t stretch enough.
OSCAR DIGGS
What did you say Jeremy>
JEREMY
Oh, nothing. Let’s get going if we want to get there before dark.
They walk up the hill in about an hour, and reach the village. The village has four main roads, and the houses are made of wood. They are painted in bright colors, but there is no one on the streets.
ESPI
That’s odd. Listen.
JEREMY
(Pauses) I don’t here anything.
ESPI
I know. Isn’t it weird? Usually in towns there are people talking, or horses, or cars or something, but her it’s just dead quiet. Isn’t it weird?
OSCAR DIGGS
Do yu want me to go up and knock on one of those doors? Maybe ther was an epidemic or something. It doesn’t look like a ghost town though.
ESPI
Yeah, why don’t you go knock on one of the doors? We’ll wait here.
Oscar walks up to one of the houses, painted pale blue. The house is one story, and little more than a shack. It has a well-kept yard and well-groomed flowerbeds. A young girl of age 8 answers the door. She has long red hair plaited into pigtails.
YOUNG GIRL
Who is it?
OSCAR DIGGS
Hello sweetie, my name is Oscar, and my friends and I are just traveling through. Do you know of somewhere where we can stay the night?
YOUNG GIRL.
No. (Slams door)
OSCAR DIGGS
Well that was weird.
ESPI
Yeah I know. Hey I’m going to go knock on this other door.
Espi walks over to a different house, identical to the other, yet painted green.
ESPI
(knocks) Hello?
YOUNG BOY
Who are you?
EPSI
My name is Espi. What is your name?
YOUNG BOY
I’m Vik. Why are you here?
ESPI
My friends and I are just passing through.
YOUNG BOY
How did you get here? There’s been no one here for months, except us kids.
EPSI
Well, that’s kind of a funny story.
YOUNG BOY
The castle?
ESPI
Yeah.
YOUNG BOY
I… erm… have to go… wash my face. (shuts door)
ESPI
Huh.
MARIA
I’ll try over here.
Maria goes over to a different house, and has practically the same result.
MARIA
Hello. I’m Maria. What’s your name?
YOUNG BOY
Todd. How did you get here?
MARIA
That’s beside the point. Are there any grownups in this town?
YOUNG BOY
No. They all left.
MARIA
When did they leave?
TODD
About a month ago. They left food, but there’s never anyone outside. I don’t think we can go outside. I’ve not tried yet.
MARIA
You mean that you’ve never been out of this house for a month?
TODD
No.
MARIA
Would you like to go outside? DO you know who took your parents?
TODD
I do want to go outside. Is Vik out? Or Grace?
MARIA
I’m not sure. Do you know where your mommy is?
TODD
Away. The men I nthe big black capes took them.
MARIA
Did these men come inside your house or did they stay in the streets?
TODD
They didn’t come inside, but I was a VIks house then. His mom was gone shopping. Claire told me that no one’s parents were home.
MARIA
Do you miss them?
TODD
Sort of. It was nice having them here, but I know how to do stuff by myself now.
I have no idea where I am going with this. Help?
I don’t know either, but it’s a million times better than mine.
Ok, this is where I ended up going. It makes no sense.
MARIA
Do you know why Vik and Grace were afraid of the castle?
TODD
The castle got here the same time the cape guys did. They didn’t want the guys to take them away too, so they’ve stayed inside.
MARIA
Thanks Todd. Do you want to come out and meet my friends?
TODD
No thanks. Bye lady.
Maria walks back over to Oscar, Jeremy, and Espi
MARIA
Well, Todd said that about a month ago some guys in black capes came and took away the adults. Then he said that the castle arrived at the same time. But if that were true, that would mean that It took us a month to walk up the hill. And it didn’t take us a month to walk up a hill.
JEREMY
I’ve heard about these villages. They are sort of a time lapse, and things happen either much slower or much faster. The people in the towns that this happens too are always either young or old, never middle aged. Also, if an outsider were to go to one of those villages, it would spell disaster.
EPSI
Hey, Jeremy, I think we’re outsiders.
JEREMY
Oh. Then we should leave.
OSCAR DIGGS
Which way do you think we should go to get out of here?
MARIA
Let’s just carry on going straight ahead. The way we were going when we headed in.
You’re really good, Green Qween. Here’s my script, continued from post 13. Please give your honest opinion.
SCENE TWELVE
Fade into the living room. Jillie and Max are sitting on the couch.
JILLIE
So you’re saying that my new journal talks, its name is Horace, it’s part of an intelligent culture, and it wants people to write things in it-
MAX
Interesting things.
JILLIE
(sarcastically) Yeah, it sure got that.
MAX
Well, it’s not my fault I can’t write very well.
Jillie ignores him and continues talking.
JILLIE
And it’s bargaining away my secrets!
MAX
Pretty much. Oh, and he doesn’t like being referred to as “it.†And he never uses one word if two will work.
JILLIE
Jeez, you’d think you had recorded that thing.
MAX
I didn’t!
JILLIE
Calm down. I know you didn’t. I just said you could have.
MAX
Okay, but I didn’t.
JILLIE
Yeah, I know. You just said. Anyways, what are we going to do about it?
MAX
Do?
JILLIE
Yes, do. You don’t really expect me to continue writing in a journal that will bargain away my secrets in exchange for a few lame sentences, do you?
MAX
I hadn’t thought about it. What are you going to do, since you seem so set on doing something?
JILLIE
I don’t know. Erase all my words and never write in the book again, maybe?
MAX
Do you think that would work? What if he remembers them?
JILLIE
I’m not sure. (she draws her knees up to her chin) I hope he won’t, because that would be dreadful. He’d have a hold over me all my life, or at least until I grew out of those secrets.
MAX
What if you wrote it in pen?
JILLIE
I don’t write in pen. Remember last summer I swore never to touch a pen again? Well, I kind of got used to pencils. I’ve never gone back to pens.
MAX
Wow, Jillie. I never actually expected you to keep that promise. I thought you were just being dramatic.
JILLIE
Well, I was at first, but then I decided I like pencils better. It’s kind of beside the point now, but at least the words will be gone, because I can erase them.
MAX
Yeah, I hope so . . .
JILLIE
You really do? I thought you liked my secrets being accessible.
MAX
Well sure, when you don’t know about it. This kind of takes the fun away, though.
JILLIE
Jeez. “Kind of takes the fun away.†But at least you’re not going to know any more of them after I erase them all. That will really take the fun away.
MAX
You don’t have to be so rude and smug about it.
JILLIE
Whatever. I’m going to-
MRS MILLER
Jillie! Max! Dinner’s almost ready! Come in here and help me!
MAX
Whatever you were going to do, you’re not now.
He skips into the kitchen. Camera fades out.
SCENE THIRTEEN
Jillie’s bedroom. Jillie is standing by her desk with an eraser in her hand. The journal, Horace, lies open on the desk. Max is lying on the bed with his chin in his hands, watching the procedures.
JILLIE
There. Every last word is erased – except the idiotic sentence of Max’s. What do you remember, jour – Horace?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
Dear Horace, My sister’s diary, which I am writing in and which is you, talks. The end. There, are you satisfied? Whoever wrote that is an imbecile.
MAX
I wrote that and I’m not an imbecile. Don’t you remember?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
No, I don’t remember. You erased me, didn’t you?
JILLIE
Yeah, we did. I didn’t know that it would do this, though! Are you sure you don’t remember anything?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
I am positive. I swear by the Author, the Reader, and the Book, that I remember nothing of what you have written.
JILLIE
It worked! Oh, good. That was close. Too bad about your memory, though.
MAX
What are the author, the reader, and the book?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
I am not at liberty to discuss my culture with outsiders. If we were discovered, no good would come of it.
MAX
Oh. I wouldn’t tell anyone! I don’t tell peoples secrets!
JILLIE
(sarcastically) Oh, no.
MAX
Well . . . I wouldn’t tell yours, anyway. Not big secrets. A big sister’s secrets are always fair game.
JILLIE
That’s not true! Or if they are, so are a little brother’s secrets. You believe in Santa Claus too, you know. I’m not completely powerless.
HORACE THE JOURNAL
Would you two please cease your quibbling? I would like to know, what is your intention now?
JILLIE
What intention?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
I mean, what do you intend to do with me, now that you have erased your secrets from me and will no longer write?
JILLIE
I – I don’t know. Since you’re actually a person, not just a book, I can’t exactly just put you on a shelf and forget all about it, can I?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
No, you cannot. You could simply leave me here, and not write in me. I might be good conversation, you never know, do you now?
JILLIE
I suppose I could . . .
HORACE THE JOURNAL
Yes. You could indeed.
SCENE FOURTEEN
Jillie’s bedroom, some time later. Jillie and Kate are sitting on the bed. The room is silent.
JILLIE
I think I’ll go get a snack. Want anything?
KATE
No thanks. I’m fine.
JILLIE
Okay. (leaves the room)
Kate says and does nothing for a while. Then she lays down on the bed and hangs her head over the edge so that she sees under the bed.
KATE
Phew, it’s dusty down here. Does she ever clean under her bed? It’s very clean, at any rate. Hang on, what’s that?
She slithers off the bed to a more comfortable position laying flat on her stomach on the floor, and wriggles under the bed. She grabs a blue book and wriggles out again.
KATE
It’s a book. Weird. And it’s not dusty. (she flips it over to get a look at the title)
KATE
“Diaryâ€. But – if she has a diary hidden under her bed, then what’s that? (she goes over to look at the talking journal, Horace) (she puts down the blue book opens the talking journal)
HORACE THE JOURNAL
I take it you are a friend of Jillie Miller’s?
KATE
Um . . . yeah. I am. What about it?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
Has she ever told you that she believes in Santa Claus?
KATE
She does?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
Or that her full name is Julia Frances Miller, but she hates it and goes by Jillie?
KATE
No, she didn’t tell me either of those things. But I don’t see what that has to do with anything. And how do you know? And why are you talking?
HORACE THE JOURNAL
There is no time to explain. Miss Miller is coming. Put her . . . other diary back before she sees you. And don’t tell her I told her secrets to you.
KATE
Oh, about that. Why did you? I didn’t care, and I still don’t.
HORACE THE JOURNAL
I would not be so sure of that if I were you, Kate Brown.
KATE
You know my name! How do you know my name?
Jillie enters, holding a bowl of cereal. She stops dead when she sees Kate standing in front of the desk with the two journals. She crosses the room and picks up the blue one.
JILLIE
You didn’t read this, did you?
KATE
No, but . . . the other one talks.
JILLIE
I know. His name is Horace. I used to write in him, before I learned that he talked. Then I erased everything I wrote, and I kind of sort of erased his memory in the process.
KATE
Jeez, that was nice of you.
JILLIE
Well, he was bargaining away my secrets. I couldn’t possibly let him continue.
KATE
He just told me that you believed in Santa Claus. Is that true?
JILLIE
No, of course I don’t! Santa is for little kids. How would he know that anyways? I erased everything.
Kate shrugs.
KATE
Do you want to play Monopoly?
JILLIE
Sure.
SCENE FOURTEEN
Living room. Jillie and Kate are sitting on the floor playing Monopoly. Kate has just rolled the dice.
KATE
I got a “get out of jail free†card.
JILLIE
Cool! Can I buy it?
KATE
No way! I might need it.
JILLIE
Okay, fine. (rolls dice)
KATE
Why do you hate your name, Jillie?
JILLIE
Huh? I don’t.
KATE
Horace said that you hated your full name.
JILLIE
Jillie Miller? I don’t mind it.
KATE
No, your other full name. Julia Frances Miller. Why do you hate it? It’s lovely.
JILLIE
Horace told you that? But – I erased it! He promised he’d forgotten! He swore!
KATE
Jillie? What are you talking about?
JILLIE
I wrote all sorts of secrets in the journal, but Max found out and told me that it talked, so I erased everything, and Horace swore by some god that he didn’t remember anything I’d written in him! But he must have been lying.
I think it’s good! And Horace, it’s almost as bad as Ethel!
31- Thanks! And that’s the point. I was using Horatio, but Horace is much worse.
I am debating whether or not to print my 43 page
( at the moment) long script. Help?
33 – 43 pages!?!? Whoopdedoo!
I just started mine because I have nothing better to do. And it’s not formatted, so don’t scream when it burns your eyes.
Seriously? A comedy in one-and-a-half parts
SCENE ONE
(A city apartment building block in New York City. MANDY is sitting on one of the front porches, looking rather wistful.)
MANDY
(to herself)
I am soo stupid.
A homeless man ambles by and hears Mandy.
HOMELESS MAN
And why would you say that, young lady?
MANDY
Well, I was cleaning my mom’s wedding ring, and first I accidentally rubbed it with honey instead of the cleaning liquid, so it was all sticky, and then I dropped it down the- (she stops and realizes who she’s talking to)
EEEW!! Get away!! Get away!!
The homeless man, unfazed, ambles off.
MANDY
Freako.
Mandy runs back in the house.
-SCENE CHANGE-
MANDY is sleeping in her room when she is awoken by a thumping noise coming from outside her window.
MANDY
(rubbing her eyes)
What the-?
(MANDY goes to the window and looks out.)
MANDY
Ok, now THAT is weird.
(MANDY exits, still in her pajamas, out the bedroom door.)
-SCENE CHANGE-
KNOCKER is jumping up and down on a wooden board on the street when MANDY enters, looking exhausted and wearing a purple bathrobe.
MANDY
Ex-cuse me?
(KNOCKER falls off the board and gets up, staring at MANDY.)
MANDY
And exactly WHAT would you be doing at-
(she glances at her glow-in-the-dark watch)
2:17 in the morning, jumping on a board in the middle of the street?
KNOCKER
Umm…
(MANDY gives KNOCKER a penetrating glare.)
KNOCKER
(tentatively)
Stampin’ out termites?
MANDY
(sarcastically)
Uh-huh. And my glasses let me see the future.
(MANDY taps the side of her purple wire-rimmed glasses.)
THat’s funny! I like it!
Continued from Post 29. Bear with me, as it makes no sense.
ESPI
Fine by me.
The group walks straight ahead in silence, for fear of causing the children of the village to get spooked. They walk for about ten minutes, and then notice something strange. They aren’t getting anywhere.
JEREMY
Hey guys? I have a strange feeling that we aren’t getting anywhere.
ESPI
Hey, I think you’re right. These houses look exactly the same as the ones before. Maria, why don’t you go knock on the door of Todd’s house.
MARIA
Ok. (Walks over to the house, and knocks on the door)
TODD
Hello lady. Why are you back?
MARIA
My friends and I are having some trouble getting out of here. Do you know which way to go?
TODD
Since the spaceship landed, no one’s tried. I expect you can’t get out.
MARIA
Spaceship? Where?
TODD
Over there.
Maria looks in the direction of his gesture, and sees a giant spaceship that wasn’t there a moment ago.
MARIA
Thanks Todd. I’ll come see you if we need anything else.
Maria walks back over to Jeremy and Espi
MARIA
Do you see that spaceship?
JEREMY
Oh my. Yes. Was that here a minute ago?
MARIA
That’s what I was just about to ask. I didn’t think so, but when Todd said it was there, it was.
ESPI
Let’s go look at it!
OSCAR DIGGS
No Espi! It might be the men in black capes back again!
ESPI
The men in black capes? We need to think of a better name for them. How about the… Parent Snatchers!
OSCAR DIGGS
Fine, they are the parent snatchers from now on. But Espi, Don’t go over to that space ship alone. It’s not safe. Promise?
ESPI
Yeah. I promise.
OSCAR DIGGS
Ok. Now lets all go over to see what it’s all about. Safety in numbers, you know.
They walk over, Espi somewhat perturbed, and find they are able to reach the spaceship.
ESPI
Well, it seems to be mostly harmless. Should we go in?
JEREMY
I think that if we are to learn more about the Parent Snatcher’s true motives, or to get out of here, we should check out the spaceship.
MARIA
For once, I agree with the kids.
They walk over to the metallic blue spaceship and knock on the door. A moment later the door drops down like a drawbridge and there are two things standing inside. They are a greenish color and have two antennae coming out of their head. They have four arms, and three legs like a tripod. Their antennae have suction cups on the end. At the end of each arm there is a hand that has four fingers and two thumbs. The creatures walk out of their ship and begin speaking to the travelers.
CREATURE 1
Who are you to trespass on our town? You do not belong here.
OSCAR DIGGS
This is not your town. You do not own it, nor do you have any right to it. The children in this town are deprived of their parents nurturing hands, on your command. Why should we listen to you?
CREATURE 2
Why should you listen to us? We have many more powers than you, puny human. There are people who belong to our race that can see through things, move objects with their minds, and shoot lasers out our palms. We are more advanced than you ever will be, and yet you dare to insult us? You shall face our wrath!
The aliens focus their gaze on Oscar Diggs, and then nothing happens. They hold their palms out towards Oscar, and nothing happens.
OSCAR DIGGS
I’m sorry, is something wrong? are your powers broken?
CREATURE 1
(Snarling) you just wait. We WILL return.
The creatures stalk back into their spaceship, not a long walk considering that they had never stepped on the ground.
ESPI
Well I guess something to do with their atmosphere makes it so that they can do all those things they said, but on our planet there must be something about our planet that stops them from using their powers.
JEREMY
Well now that they’re gone, do you think that we ca get out of the city?
ESPI
I don’t know. It was you who first said anything about time warps and all that stuff. Why not just walk straight ahead?
JEREMY
Fine.
They walk straight ahead, past where the ship had been, and past the field they came from. They did not notice however, because they were concentrating on not looking, so they didn’t break whatever spell had let them leave the town. Concentrating hard on this, they did not notice the disappearance of Oscar Diggs and Maria.
ESPI
Jeremy?
JEREMY
Yeah?
ESPI
Where are Maria and Oscar?
JEREMY
(looks around, and then stops walking.) I don’t know. Did you see them leave?
ESPI
No. Did you?
JEREMY
Now if I had seen them leave I wouldn’t have asked you that question in the first place would I?
ESPI
Well no. But where do you think they are?
JEREMY
Didn’t Oscar say one time about a curse? And that was why he could never leave or move the castle?
ESPI
Yeah, I think you’re right. Maybe they were transported back to the castle after they went too far. that sounds like something a curse would do, doesn’t it?
JEREMY
That it does. Well, should we go back to the castle to check that they’re still there?
ESPI
Well, if we go back to the castle we’d have to go back to the village. And if we go back to the village, we may never come back out because of that time warp thingy. So my vote goes to moving on. We’ve just got to find my dad.
JEREMY
I know, but where do we go next? Ethel and Mario’s powers have gone, and there’s nothing I can do to change that?
ESPI
Or is there? Oscar was telling us about that guy who gave magicians a bad name. What was his name? It was like Werbet? Newret?
JEREMY
Newbet? Locke Newbet?
ESPI
Yeah! That was it!
JEREMY
So you think that we should hunt down Locke Newbet, shut him down, and then go rescue your dad, with the help of the Divinely Holy Leaders of the Most Sacred Congregation of Magicians?
ESPI
Yeah, pretty much.
JEREMY
Well it’s not much of a plan considering that we don’t know where Mr. Newbet is, or where he might be, or even some of the places that he is not.
I like it, Kiki. And I like the way yours is going, Green Qween.
How is this:
Act 1, Scene 1
Cleo: Why is my life so… I don’t know abbhored?
Mom: Is that a word honey?
Cleo: I’m the one who reads books mom. I should know!
Mom: Ok, ok, just wondering. I do have a life you know
Cleo: Your night life is awful mom! You don’t get in until 1 in the morning! Ever since Dad died…
Mom: Yeah, well, dad was a jerk, he deserved to die!
Cleo: Mom! How can you say that? We don’t even know who killed him!
Evan: (enters room and yawns) Hey, mom, what’s for breakfast?
Mom: Cleo and I are having an adult conversation. Fix your own breakfast
Evan: Mooooooooom!
Mom: Oh my god! can’t you kids do anything? (gets up) what do you want?
Evan: Blueberry pancakes!
Mom: I think not, how about cereal?
Evan: Whatever (leaves)
Cleo: Mom, you have to stop this junk about being the life of New York. Let’s face it! You don’t have enough money to buy good enough clothes to make it!
Mom: You don’t understand the first thing about my life!
Cleo: You wish! (stomps out of room)
(fades out)
Act 1, Scene 2
(Cleo is lying on her bed staring at her ceiling clutching a picture of her father)
Cleo: What did I do to deserve this dad? Why did you have to leave us? You taught me everything I know about acting and now, when I’m becoming a rising star in school, you’re not here! Who would do this to you! (weeps silently)
Lizzie: (walks in) Hey sis, can I borrow some lettuce?
Cleo: (wipes eyes) Lettuce? Don’t you need to go to the refrigerator
Lizzie: (sighs impatiently) Lettuce, dough, mula, you know, MONEY!
Cleo: Oh, sorry I’m broke
Lizzie: Thanks, for nothing! (departs)
Cleo: (stares at photo) Evan is too young to remember you and Lizzie’s too obsessed with cheerleading and fashion to even care. What kind of family did you start? (looks back at the ceiling)
(fades out)
Are the scenes too short?
They’re as long as mine.
ESPI
Well it seems to be the only plan that we’ve got.
JEREMY
So which way do we start walking?
ESPI
Let’s try to get across the ocean. We’ll go to the United States!
JEREMY
(in a tired and weary voice) Oh. Goody. I’ve always wanted to go there.
ESPI
What, you don’t want to go to America?
JEREMY
To tell the truth, I’ve had a bit of a run in with the law in America. They don’t like me much there.
ESPI
Was this that thing you did a while ago that made you notorious?
JEREMY
The very same. But anyhow, I guess I can pretend to be someone else. Do you have something we can make a disguise with?
ESPI
Right at the moment? Naw. But father gave me some spare change, so when we reach a town we can try and contact someone there.
JEREMY
Sounds good. Same direction?
ESPI
Same direction. As always
The children, now only a pair, continue to walk the same way they had been going. The scenery around them changes, and soon they can begin to see the hazy outline of the sea. They also discover that they are running low on food and water.
JEREMY
I think we are nearing the ocean
ESPI
How can you tell?
JEREMY
Well for one thing I can kind of smell the salt, and for another I can see it. It is just barely visible on the horizon.
ESPI
Oh I see. How long do you think it will take us to get there?
JEREMY
Well, considering that we are almost out of food and water and this countryside seems to be desolate, ad very, very, very long time. WE will need to forage for food and live like the old folk did! We shall be brave!
EPSI
Or we could just walk over that way. Toward s that small hut. Don’t you see?
JEREMY
Oh. Right. That works too.
They walk over to the small hut which seems to be made from candy.
ESPI
Well it seems to be made of candy. Don’t you agree?
JEREMY
It does certainly look to be that way. Strange huh?
ESPI
Yeah real weird. It’s almost like Hansel and Gretel.
JEREMY
You’re right it is! Well should we go inside?
ESPI
Jeremy, Hansel and Gretel almost got eaten by the witch that was inside the hut. Do you really think that we should go in?
JEREMY
If she tries anything on us we can always push her into the oven. Deal?
ESPI
Fine, deal.
They walk inside, and lo and behold, the see a witch. She is a small lady with a very large nose and a big wart on the end. She is dressed all in black and wears a large pointed hat. Her dress is tattered at the bottom, but whether because it was fashionable or because it was old the two could not tell. Her hands were boy and brittle, but overall she was not that ugly to look at.
ESPI
Hello?
WITCH
( Somewhat grumpily, but not unkindly) Who’s there?
JEREMY
My name is Jeremy, and this is my sister Espi, and we seem to have gotten lost in the woods. Can you point us in the direction of the nearest village?
ESPI
(Pulling Jeremy aside roughly) Sister?
JEREMY
Yeah, well, I thought it seemed a good cover. Bear with me here. (Returnign to the witch)
ESPI
WE are also running out of food, so if you could spare some for us that would be wonderful.
WITCH
Now you two just hold on a minute. My sister Hortense had a run in with two children just like you. She said to be on the look out for if they ever cam again.
JEREMY
What were their names Mrs.…?
WITCH
Harriet. I think it was Hans? Gretel maybe?
ESPI
That sounds familiar. My mom told us the story of them. They found a hut in the middle of the woods and went inside where a witch locked them up and threatened to eat them for dinner but then they pushed the witch into the oven and ran away.
WITCH
It’s already a children’s story? Man, I need to get out more. Anyway, I don’t want you two in my house! Get out! (Flaps towel that was hinging in her apron at them) Get out! Get out!
ESPI
But, we won’t do anything! Promise! Well, unless you hurt us, but other than that we won’t do anything to hurt you.
JEREMY
Miss, we just really need some food and a place to stay for the night. Would you let us, please?
HARRIET
I am a respectable witch, good with the potions and handy with the spells. I will not tolerate two children stayin’ in my house!
ESPI
(slyly) Then why is your house made out of candy?
HARRIET
Oh that? (flicks her wrist)A guise. Nothing more. (The house resumes the appearance of a rundown cottage with a thatched roof and stone walls)
ESPI
Oh. Why was it made of candy then?
HARRIET
I was craving some sweets. That’s the good thing about being a witch. You can get practically anything you want.
JEREMY
(trying to appeal to her by making her feel bad) But what about the bad side? No one wanting to be your friend, all of the unpleasant stories, the teasing… Doesn’t that hurt?
HARRIET
(Somewhat touched) Well yeah, but the good out weigh the bad don’t they?
ESPI
Or do they? Miss, ARen’t you lonely? Don’t you think that a night’s worth of company would do you good?
HARRIET
Well, I have lived alone for ten or so years. I guees you could stay with me for 1 (Holds up finger), only one, night.
JEREMY
Thank you so much Miss.
ESPI
WE really appreciate it. What can we do to help with supper?
HARRIET
Supper? Help? Really?
JEREMY
(Slightly confused) …Yeah, why not?
HARRIET
I’ve not had anyone help me in years! (dabs at her eyes with the towel) This is wonderful! WE should make something extra special!
ESPI
(muttering) Emotional much?
JEREMY
(replying in the same tone) Yeah I know.
HARRIET
Beg pardon?
JEREMY AND ESPI TOGETHER
Nothing!
HARRIET
All right then, why don’t we have roast beef and glazed carrots. Oh and some mashed potatoes!
ESPI
Can’t you magic it here?
HARRIET
I could, but a homemade meal just tastes so much better. Why don’t you help mash the potatoes?
ESPI
All right.
HARRIET
And Jeremy, you help me slice the carrots. Oh this is going to taste so good!
They all help out making dinner, and it is ready in about two hours.
SCENE 9
ESPI
My this is good beef! What did you do to it Harriet?
HARRIET
Oh, you know, a couple spices, some gravy, (to herself) magicked it here from the Giant down the way…
JEREMY
Well I love it! Where would you like us to sleep?
HARRIET
Well I have a couch over there, and Ican magic us up a couple mre pillows. Espi, would you mind sleeping on the floor?
ESPI
No, not at all! You’ve been so good to us Harriet, I don’t know what we’d have done.
They lay down to their assigned sleeping positions, but Harriet stays awake. Soon both Espi and Jeremy are sleeping with Harriet standing over them. Harriet has multiple personality disorder.
HARRIET
Oh they look so peaceful while they’re sleeping!
HARRIET (BAD)
No they don’t! Those scrawny kids came I nhere and took all of your food! They could hurt you if they wanted to!
HARRIET
Yes, but they’re company, and I’ve been so lonely.
HARRIET (BAD)
They are stealing your sanity! They ask too much of you… You should not trust them.
HARRIET
You have no right to be here! I can trust them if I want.
HARRIET (BAD)
What do you mean? I am you. You are me. You cannot help listening to me.
HARRIER
What do you mean? You shall goright now! And never come back!
HARRIET (BAD)
But they have the prize! The valuable prize! You do not want that now do you?
HARRIET
No. We wants the prize. We wants it we do.
HARRIET(BAD)
Yes. WE shall take the prize. We shall take it! It shall be ours!
HARRIET
Yes… I take it. Now.
Harriet runs over to the children’s beds. Before she gets there, Espi’s eyes flash open and she turns over with a start. Harriet gasps audibly. Harriet now has taken on some Golum-esque qualities.
HARRIET
What have you heard?
ESPI
You. Who were you talking to?
HARRIET
WE weren’t talking to anyone. We’s were just muttering. Not talking.
ESPI
(Skeptically) Really? What is this prize you speak of?
HARRIET
(spitting mad) (literally) There is no prize. We’s spoke of no prize. Go back to sleep.
ESPI
You’ve changed. (yelling) Jeremy!
JEREMY
(sleepily) What? Whuz going on?
ESPI
We need to leave.
HARRIET
No! Don’t leave! (to herself) We needs the prize. We needs it!
ESPI
(sternly) What was that last part? About a prize?
HARRIET
The prize is mine! Mine!
ESPI
Tell us about this prize. What is it?
HARRIET
The prize? It is a ring.
HARRIET (BAD)
No! Don’t tell!
HARRIET
I tells them already, so too bad!
HARRIET(BAD)
Nooo!
HARRIET (TO THE KIDS)
The ring. It is gold, with a large emerald set in it. On each point of the emerald there is an opal. In the center of the emerald there is a ruby, as red as blood. The gold in the band of this ring is threaded with red veins, of an unknown substance. These veins give long life and when it touches another metal it turns it to gold. This ring is the most valuable object in existence to a magician.
HARRIET(BAD)
You tells them! How dare you! You have told our secret!! No!
HARRIET
This ring, we’s think you have the ring. The prize! The ring that magicians and humans alike have quested for for lifetimes! You, you have my prize!
Harriet leaps at Espi, but Espi tumbles to the side. She is amazed by the transformation from the kind and subdued Harriet of the afternoon before and the seemingly evil personality that she was battling with. Jeremy woke to the battle between the two females, having gone back to sleep moments before.
JEREMY
What is going on with you two?
HARRIET
You stay out of this boy!
JEREMY
(stunned by the change in Harriets attitude) I will not stay out of this! Espi! Are you OK?
ESPI
Hold her off! WE need to get out of here! They’re after my ring!
JEREMY
(confused) Your ring? What? I’ll try to hold her off.
Jeremy and Harriet battle it out, and Espi flees the hut.
JEREMY
Keep running! I’ll be out soon!
Jeremy grabs a pan that was hanging from the rack above the witch’s counter, and bangs it on Harriet’s head.
JEREMY
Take that! And that!
Harriet falls on the floor, apparently out cold.
JEREMY
Oops.
Jeremy runs from the house, grabbing the lighter that was sitting near the sink.
ESPI
Jeremy! Are you allright? Harriet was kind of creepy.
JEREMY
Yeah I know. Listen, I grabbed this lighter as we left. Should I do the honors or would you like to?
ESPI
Do what?
JEREMY
Burn down her house fo course!
ESPI
Jeremy we can’t do that!
JEREMY
Why ever not? That lady was the most befouled person I’ve ever met!
ESPI
Yes, but we can’t just go killing people right and left! Bar the door, that should keep her in for a little while, as long a she doesn’t magic herself out.
JEREMY
Aha, I guarded against that too. I stole her wands, both of them. Turns out she had an extra hidden inside the pan I used.
ESPI
(Confused and incredulous) A pan? I don’t even want to know.
JEREMY
Yeah, I know, I totally owned her. Well were should we go now? And tell me about this ring.
ESPI
Well, as Harriet described it, it is a gold band with a large emerald set on top and at each point there are tiny circular opals. There is a ruby set into the emerald which is blood red. To quote Harriet, The gold in the band of the ring is threaded with red veins, of an unknown substance. These veins give long life and when it touches another metal it turns it to gold. End quote. The strange part is, that that’s the ring that My father gave me for my twelth birthday. He said it had been I nthe family for years. Had I known that people were looking for it I wouldn’t still be wearing it. It would be locked away somewhere.
JEREMY
So you didn’t know about the curse or anything?
ESPI
Well I don’t really think it’s a curse if it’s so valuable, but more of a long-lost artifact that everyone’s after.
JEREMY
So there’s no bad side effects you think? What about Harriet?
ESPI
Well I certainly think that is leaves you craving power. That I know. That’s why Harriet got all upset and started going crazy. She was dependant on the ring. That’s why she had those awful mood swings, and looked so old.
JEREMY
Do you think that will happen to you? I mean you don’t want to turn into an ugly old hag, do you?
ESPI
No, of course not! What kind of question is that?
JEREMY
Well I was just asking.
ESPI
Anyway, I think we should get rid of it before we do anything else.
JEREMY
How?
ESPI
I dunno, drop it down an abandoned well. Then we can throw a bunch of leaves and stuff on top of it.
JEREMY
Um ok.
ESPI
What do you have a better plan?
JEREMY
Well no, but what, are we jut going to wander around for a while looking for a well?
ESPI
Actually, there’s one right there. That’s where I got the idea.
JEREMY
Oh. Right. So where’s the ring?
ESPI
Right here. I always keep it in this little pocket on the inside of my skirt, so it doesn’t get lost.
JEREMY
How come you didn’t know it turned things into gold?
ESPI
I’ve never tried. And about the long life, I guess because I’m so young It had practically no effect. Do you have any coins on you?
JEREMY
Just a few pennies. Oh, and here’s a quarter. Why?
ESPI
Well, I figure, we should turn some of it to gold so that if we get to town we’ll have something to barter with.
JEREMY
Yeah, that’s a good idea.
Espi and Jeremy walk over to the derelict stone well, and drop the ring into the well, regardless of the consequences. They then throw in heaps of leaves, sticks, and for good measure stones to weigh down the leaves and hopefully bury the ring so that no one would find it.
ESPI
Well now that’s done, and we have some money to use at the nearest store. Speaking of which, do you know of any near stores?
JEREMY
I’m just as lost as you are Espi.
ESPI
Oh, well, shall we wander?
JEREMY
WE certainly seem to be doing a lot of it lately. I could use a map.
ESPI
Well, we are in the middle of nowhere. Don’t think they sell maps here.
JEREMY
Yeah, I know, enough with the sarcasm. Let’s walk in that direction. Toward the trees.
ESPI
Alright then.
They walk towards the trees, and find themselves In the middle of the forest. The forest is completely silent, to the complete surprise of the pair walking through.
JEREMY
Espi, do you hear that?
ESPI
What?
JEREMY
Exactly. There’s nothing to hear! Weird huh?
ESPI
You’re right. I wonder what’s wrong?
JEREMY
Something must be scaring away all the animals. Anyways, while we have time I’ll tell you why I was at your dad’s house.
They do not see it, but a large griffin appears in the tree next to them. It is about as tall as three school buses stacked on top of each other, and as wide as one. The griffin had feathers of a tawny color, and it’s lion body was a dark brown. Its talon seemed to be made of pure gold, and they shined and glinted in what little sunlight there was.
ESPI
(interrupting) Jeremy, do you hear something?
JEREMY
What do you mean?
ESPI
Something… breathing?
Jeremy turns around and faces the griffin right in the face.
JEREMY
(screams like a girl)
ESPI
(panicking) What? What?
JEREMY
It’s a…It’s a…
ESPI
It’s a griffin! Wow, I’ve never seen one up close!
JEREMY
You…You know what it is?
ESPI
Well of course! One of the most important lessons that Mrs. Point taught me was recpgnizing mythical creatures. She said that if there ever were a time where I would meet one, it’d be good to know what I was meeting.
JEREMY
Alright then, do you know how to talk to it?
GRIFFIN
(In a low voice, somewhat menacing, but also humerously) Talk to me? What do you mean by that children?
JEREMY
(startled) Oh! Hello Mr. Griffin sir, didn’t mean to be in your way. WE’ll just be going now…
GRIFFIN
(chuckling) Going? Whatever for? WE’ve only just met!
ESPI
Pardon him sir, he’s never seen a griffin before, and he is quite intimidated. My name is Esperanza Claudia Anastasia Trishia Millentando the Third. This is Jeremy Fisak.
GRIFFIN
Oh? And you are not intimidated Esperanza?
ESPI
Please sir, call me Espi. Everyone does. And no, I am not as intimidated as my friend here. Father always told me that it was best to know your mythical beasts in case you ever met one. And now I have, so his teachings paid off.
GRIFFIN
Well how kind of you Espi. Now do you happen to know in what month of 1547 the Griffin’s Annual Conference of Griffins was? Or how many of us exactly there are? Or how often we mate?
ESPI
Actually the conference ended in February because the female griffin, Aurora, ravaged the entire town near it just because the mayor offended her. And there are currently 372 of you, not counting the eagubs. And you cannot mate more often than once every 20 years, which is why your species is dying out.
GRIFFIN
I see you know your stuff. And he offended her by calling her a big beastie. It was the big part that got to her, since she thought she had quite a figure.
ESPI
Jeremy! Get over here! Say hello to our friend mister…
GRIFFIN
My name’s Lex. Short for Lexor.
ESPI
Well, Jeremy, come meet Lexor/
JEREMY
Espi, I think I’m quite fine where I am.
ESPI
Are you chicken Jeremy? Bwak! Bwak Bwak!
JEREMY
All right, fine. He won’t eat me will he?
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Of course not! I would not eat any friend of my esteemed colleague Espi. Isn’t that right?
ESPI
Well thank you Lexor! I am very glad that you hold me so high in your esteem. Might I ask why?
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Well, you are the daughter of Canter Millentando, correct?
ESPI
Yes, that is right. Why? What did he do?
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Well your father helped to defeat the council, who wanted to kill all of the Griffins left. Of course, that would have never worked, because it takes at least twenty men to kill us. What is 20 times 372 Espi?
ESPI
Seven thousand four hundred and forty, Lexor, I believe.
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Well, it would take that many men, or more, to bring us down. I highly doubt that they could face all of us at once and win.
ESPI
Three hundred and seventy two griffins all at once? No, they could never face that and win. You are too fierce! And valiant!
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Thank you for your praise Espi. But anyway, your father was very good sticking up for us mythical beings like that.
EPSI
Thank you! He never told me that he’d even met a griffin before.
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Well, your father is a very modest fellow. He has done many, many things that he would likely not mention to you for many years to come. He’s kind of a current day Lancelot.
ESPI
You mean he is in a forbidden love with a queen and I am an illegitimate child who grows up to go to the Holy Grail?
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
No, no, I mean that he is brave and valiant while not particularly handsome, and good at most everything.
ESPI
Oh. Well that’s better. Is there anything else that my father’s done that I should know about?
GRIFFIN (LEXOR
Well, I don’t know about what he’s done since I saw him last (and that was about ten years ago) but he had gone off and conquered one of the Titans, and battled me, won, and traveled to the underworld to rescue his fair maiden.
ESPI
That’s what my dad’s done? He sounds an awful lot like Hercules!
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Well, in a way, he was! Not really named Hercules of course, his name was Erik. Erik the Brave, red bearded, tall, strong, and mighty. Yes, a long name, but it suited him.
ESPI
You know, I think my dad must have gone to seed or something. I mean, he works for a company now. At a desk job.
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Well, he was great once. Anyway, what I was saying is that Jeremy, Espi’s dad is a great man and you were right to try and find him.
JEREMY
Hey, how did you know what I was thinking?
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Griffins have always been able to do this. Upon command of course, I can’t just have everyone and everything’s thoughts in my head all at once. There wouldn’t be room for me! But anyway, it is a highly perfected skill.
JEREMY
Well, I think I’ve warmed up to you Lexor. And Espi, I am not chicken!
ESPI
Well who’s the older one here?
JEREMY
Me.
ESPI
And who went to talk to the griffin first?
JEREMY
You.
ESPI
And who was so scared of the griffin that he let out a high pitched scream?
JEREMY
(in a small quiet ashamed voice) Me.
ESPI
Hah! You were chicken!
JEREMY
Was not
ESPI
Was too!
JEREMY
Was not
ESPI
Was too!
GRIFFIN (LEXOR)
Stop t children!
ESPI
(sulkily) Fine
LEXOR
Espi, we need to find your dad. I would be willing to help you, if I could be of service.
ESPI
All right. But Jeremy’s Divinely Holy Leaders of the Most Sacred Congregation of Magicians have lost there powers, or so we think. So we have no way of asking where my dad is.
LEXOR
Are you kidding? Griffins have one of the most reliable senses of direction ever. I can find him easy.
ESPI
All right. Do we need to be quiet or something? So you can concentrate?
LEXOR
Not really. Just climb on board, and once we’re flying I’ll know which way to go.
JEREMY
Flying? On you?
LEXOR
Yes. I have wings you know.
JEREMY
Yes but…
ESPI
Bawk! Bawk!
JEREMY
All right, fine!
They climb onto Lexor’s back, with much difficulty and a lot of falling off. Finally they scramble on, and Lexor beats his giant wings and they are off. They fly through the air over scenic forest, which goes on seemingly endlessly. They are above the clouds on a mostly clear sky, and Lexor knows where he is going.
LEXOR
I’ve got a lead! I think your dad is in Guadalupe!
ESPI
Where’s that?
LEXOR
In the Caribbean. It’s an island.
ESPI
Ok…
JEREMY
How long will it take to get there?
LEXOR
Oh, about six hours.
ESPI
Wow, you fly fast!
LEXOR
Thank you Espi, but not really. I had a friend who could fly from here to San Francisco and back twice in a day!
ESPI
Wow! Who was that?
LEXOR
Oh that was Frank. But he died.
ESPI
Oh I’m so sorry!
LEXOR
Don’t be. He died doing something stupid. He decided to try and see how far underwater he could go, and drowned. Griffins don’t tolerate wetness well.
JEREMY
That’s too bad. But why Frank? It doesn’t seem like a very griffin-esque name.
LEXOR
His mother was always a bit odd. She liked to do things out of the ordinary, and was quite daring herself. She actually died when Frank was young, trying to perform scientific experiments. Claws aren’t very good for holding things, and she accidentally blew herself up. It was quite a blow to Frank, I can tell you that.
ESPI
Have all of the griffins had tragic endings?
LEXOR
Well have you ever herd of one dying from old age?
ESPI
Well no. Can they?
LEXOR
Well a hundred years old is considered quite young, and to actually be ‘old’ You have to be at least a thousand. Most don’t live that long, as the get killed in battles or daring stunts.
ESPI
Oh.
LEXOR
Yes, they think that since they age so slowly, they might as well go out with a bang.
ESPI
I see.
They had been talking for about an hour, but now they fell silent. They keep flying, and then Lexor announces that they are there after five hours. During that time Jeremy and Espi fell asleep, woke uo, and fell back asleep again, at different times of course. After Lexor landed they woke up.
LEXOR
Hey? We’re here!
ESPI
Whu? Oh WE’re here. Where’s here?
LEXOR
Guadalupe. Is Jeremy up?
ESPI
Let me check.
Nudges Jeremy rather hard in the shoulder.
ESPI
Jeremy! Wake up!
JEREMY
What? WEhre are we?
ESPI
WE are in Guadalupe.
JEREMY
Ok… Hey, it’s warm here!
ESPI
You’re right, it is! Lexor, are you too hot?
LEXOR
No. These feathers actually give a lot of ventilation. I am quite cool.
ESPI
All right.
LEXOR
Shall we sleep?
ESPI
Well I think Jeremy and I both took a nap on the plane. You would be tired though, because you just flew from England to Guadalupe! Jeremy and I will go find some food. WE’ll be back in about an hour.
JEREMY
Where are we supposed to find food on this place?
ESPI
How about right there, at that shop?
JEREMY
Well what will Lexor eat?
ESPI
Let’s go see what they have.
They walk up to the small store, which has a sign saying, ‘Fresh Tacos, Daily’ the words are painted onto a board in red lettering. The store is made of wood, with a thatched roof of hay.
ESPI
Well, tacos, that sounds good. Maybe we can get them to give us some plain meat instead. Do you think Lexor would like that?
JEREMY
You are too sensitive. He will eat whatever you give him, because you are his little angel.
ESPI
Am not!
JEREMY
Really? He is always fawning on you. I’ll bet you didn’t know that griffins could pay that much attention to a mere human. He is really attached to you.
ESPI
Hmph! I think he’s just being sweet. And anyway, he’s a griffin! He must just be thinking of what my father did for him and trying to return the favor. That must be it.
JEREMY
Alright. Reassure your self with that thought. But anyway, are we going in or not?
ESPI
What? Oh sure. What’s the name of it again?
JEREMY
Dunno. It just says Fresh Tacos, Daily.
ESPI
Huh. Strange. Oh well, let’s go investigate.
They walk through the door to the store, where they see a very tall man with tan skin and very dark hair. His eyes are brown, and he is not Mexican as his coloring would lead you to believe.
GUY AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER
How may I help you today?
ESPI
We were stopping in for a snack, but we happen to have a… friend with us that is allergic to wheat and corn. Do you think we could trouble you to give us some plain meat?
GUY AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER
I think that would be fine. How much meet do you need?
ESPI
Oh, about five pounds maybe.
GUY AT THE COUNTER
Five pounds! Big guy.
ESPI
WE’re traveling, and we’ll reheat us so it will last for a while.
GUY AT THE COUNTER
I see. Well, what do you want young man?
JEREMY
I’d like a taco with no lettuce, sour cream, or tomatoes. Just meat and a shell.
GUY AT THE COUNTER
Well then. I’ll be sure to get it right. And what would you like young lady?
ESPI
I think I’d like a taco with everything on it. (to Jeremy) Wimp!
JEREMY
Humph!
GUY AT THE COUNTER
It will just be a minute. Would your friend like the five pounds ground up or whole? Cooked I presume?
ESPI
Uncooked and ground, if you please.
GUY AT THE COUNTER
Uncooked. Huh. Whatever you say ma’am.
The two stand at the counter and wait for the man to come back with their orders. They wait for about five minutes, and then he comes back with a large plastic bag filled with raw ground meat, and two Styrofoam trays with their tacos.
GUY AT THE COUNTER
Here are your orders. Would you like for here or to go?
ESPI
Erm, well there aren’t any tables here, so to go. And anyway, they are already packaged. So to go will be fine.
GUY AT THE COUNTER
All right. (reluctantly) Here you are.
Espi reaches for the tray, and Guy is reluctant to give it.
ESPI
Let GO!
GUY AT THE COUNTER
I don’t want to.
ESPI
Why not?
GUY AT THE COUNTER
I get very…attached to things.
ESPI
(sarcastically) My tacos? You are attached to my tacos?
GUY AT THE COUNTER
(quietly) Maybe.
ESPI
Just let go! WE are hungry and want to eat!
GUY AT THE COUNTER
Fine.
He shoves the tray at her, and in the confusion Espi drops it. The taco falls off, the bag of meat splits open, and Jeremy slips, falls head first into the meat.
ESPI
(gasp)
GUY AT THE COUNTER
(gasp)
JEREMY
Oh my god, what have you done!
ESPI
Ummm… It was his fault!
GUY AT THE COUNTER
I didn’t do it!
JEREMY
Well now Iam covered in groud up steak! Espi, we are leaving.
ESPI
But what is Lexor to eat?
JEREMY
He’ll go catch some deer or something. We are LEAVING!!!
ESPI
Fine. Good day dude.
They leave the store, Jeremy covered in meat and Espi upset. They had managed to get some of the raw meat back in the bag after the fall. They walk until they see a stream. The stream has dirt bordering it, and there are small groves of trees on either side. The water is clear, and the bottom of the stream is covered in smooth, white stones. There are a few small fish in the water, pale yellow with green stripes. The water is about three feet deep, and cold. Espi sits on the bank beside him. Jeremy immediately jumps in, and then screams.
JEREMY
(screams) Cold! Cold! OWWW!!
ESPI
Well that’s your fault for jumping in a river. What are those stones on the bottom? Toss one here.
JEREMY
(picks up a stone, and chucks it hard at Espi’s head)
ESPI
Oww! What was that for?
JEREMY
Covering me with raw meat! The water’s better now. It is so clear! It’s amazing. The water in England was never this clear.
ESPI
It is a wonder. I’ll bet the fish like it.
JEREMY
Fish?
ESPI
Yes, fish. Getting to be quite sensitive, aren’t we?
JEREMY
Not really… I’m perfectly fine with fish. My clothes are all wet though. It is annoying.
He climbs out onto the bank, and lies on his back, presumably to let the sun dry him. His clothes, a white tunic and a blue vest, along with his khaki pants, are sopping wet through and through.
ESPI
Well your clothes will dry on the way there. Speaking of which, where are we?
JEREMY
I’m not sure. We can’t be that far away. We’re not that good at getting lost. Let’s go back the way we came.
ESPI
All right. Just though those trees there?
JEREMY
Yes that must be it, for you did not cross the riverbank.
They walk back the way they came, through the trees and across the field near the shop where Jeremy got messy. They walk past the store.
JEREMY
We will not go back in.
ESPI
(soothingly) I know, I know. We will just head back to Lexor now.
They continue walking toward Lexor, and see his great hulk of a body above the trees. He hears them approach, and lifts his head slowly.
ESPI
Lexor? We had a bit of a … run in with the shop owner when we tried to get you some food. We have about three pounds of meat, but Jeremy … um … got sort of covered in it when we fell into each other.
LEXOR
Well that’s all right. It is raw?
ESPI
Yes. Is that OK?
LEXOR
Just fine, but I doubt it will be enough. I can go hunt something else in a little bit.
JEREMY
See? I told you he could hunt.
LEXOR
I can Jeremy, but do not brag. Can I trust you to stay here while I leave?
ESPI
Of course. Did you have a nice nap?
LEXOR
It was lovely.
ESPI
Well, anyway, we will be fine here. You will be gone for about an hour?
LEXOR
A little over. But I’ll not make you watch me eat, I’ll eat in the woods.
ESPI
All right. See you in as bit!
Lexor flies off, in a general eastward direction. Espi waves goodbye, but he does not see.
JEREMY
You sound like a doting mother when you are near him.
ESPI
I do not!
JEREMY
You do. He likes you, I know.
EPSI
Well, he doesn’t like you as much, and you’re just jealous.
JEREMY
Well what if I am?
ESPI
So you admit you’re jealous that a griffin likes me better than you?
JEREMY
A little, but not without reason! He is always doting on you, and he never pays any attention to me or what I might like.
ESPI
Well, I’m sorry. Griffins in general like girls better than boys.
JEREMY
(Sourly)Like unicorns?
ESPI
Yes, unicorns do favor maidens.
JEREMY
Do all mythical beasts favor women?
ESPI
Not all, but most.
JEREMY
Oh great. That makes me feel a lot better.
ESPI
Oh, Sphinxes like men. Their gaze also causes anyone to turn to stone if you do not answer their riddles…
JEREMY
Oh great! So I won’t have any luck whenever I encounter anything vaguely mysterious. That makes me so happy.
ESPI
Well the Cockatrice, a creature that has the head of a rooster and the body of a serpent, favors men as well. It has poison breath, but it is not as bad as some of the others.
JEREMY
Oh so I’ll be sure to meet one of them so I can befriend it. If it doesn’t kill me first!
ESPI
Oh come on, most mythical beasts are bad. There are only a few good ones, like the unicorns. Even the centaurs, which are mostly peaceable, are not openly friendly.
JEREMY
Ok, well sorry I’m so snippy.
ESPI
It’s fine. But you have been rather whiny today. Anything wrong?
JEREMY
What?
ESPI
I said, is anything wrong?
JEREMY
Oh no. I’ve just been a bit preoccupied.
ESPI
With what?
JEREMY
Thinking.
EPSI
About what?
JEREMY
Oh, well all sorts. Mostly of my parents and my siblings.
ESPI
What is wrong with them?
JEREMY
Well I used to send money home to them once or twice a month, but then my brother Nico got sick.
ESPI
Oh, with what?
JEREMY
Smallpox we think. But I haven’t been home in a while, so I don’t know how he’s been.
ESPI
I am so sorry!
JEREMY
It’s fine. My mom is good at taking care of people; she used to be a nurse. Anyway, that’s why I was at your dad’s office that day.
Suddenly, a very large griffin crash lands infront of the two. It is not Lexor, and his wings are more of a red color and his body has stripes of black but is the same tawny color. He is slightly bigger than Lexor, and his coloring is more impressive. He had landed in the turf head first and his beak was covered in dirt.
ESPI
(shouting) Hello? Are you OK?
UNIDENTIFIED GRIFFIN
Murmel Murmel.
ESPI
Hello? Hello?
UNIDENTIFIED GRIFFIN
(spits out large chunk of dirt) Who’s there? Where am I?
ESPI
You’re in Guadalupe. Near Mexico (Say Me-He-Co)
UNIDENTIFIED GRIFFIN
Well that’s just great. I crash landed again, didn’t I?
JEREMY
I believe so.
UNIDENTIFIED GRIFFIN
Dang it! I knew I should have kept my eyes open!
ESPI
ERm… That’s sort of the first rule of landing isn’t it?
UNIDENTIFIED GRIFFIN
I’m just learning.
ESPI
I see. Just how old are you?
UNIDENTIFIED GRIFFIN
I am 6. My name is Max. It’s short for Maximillian.
JEREMY
Well Max, we were waiting for another griffin, Lexor, to get back. Did you happen to see him when you were…flying?
MAX
Well I’m not very good yet at takeoffs and landings, and I don’t like to look around when I fly. But I do know who Lexor is. He’s my Daddy.
ESPI
Oh!
JEREMY
Well, did you run into him?
MAX
Well, I said I wasn’t very good at looking. But I think I mighta seen him coming.
ESPI
So he’ll be back soon?
MAX
Probably.
JEREMY
Well until then, Max, why don’t you tell us where you were trying to get and where you were coming from.
MAX
Well I was trying to get to Mexico, where Mom lives. But I had gone all the way to China to visit Grandma, Lexor’s mom, (her name’s Ruth). And it was a really long flight. And I’m tired. But Grandma said I was a very big boy and she was proud of me for flying all the way to Mexico by myself. This made me happy. And then she and I went to the gardens in China and everyone there was real excited to see us, cuz apparently griffins are rare, so we got a lot of attention.
ESPI
Wow, that’s very neat.
Just as Max was about to begin talking again, Lexor flies in gracefully and is surprised to see his son.
LEXOR
Max! What are you doing here? I thought you were in China visiting Ruth! Did she send you home early?
MAX
Well Grandma decided that Mom was probably missing me so she sent me home. Is that bad?
LEXOR
No, it’s fine, except you’re not, well, home.
MAX
Well no, I kind of got sidetracked.
LEXOR
Sidetracked? You can’t fly and look around yet.
MAX
Ok, I got lost. But it’s not too far off course!
LEXOR
No, you’ve done rather well. It’s better than that time that you crash landed (again) in the ocean. Your mother was quite upset with you.
MAX
I’m not much good with landings.
LEXOR
Your mother is a fine flier, she will help you. Do you want to go home now or do you want to fly back in the morning?
MAX
Morning is fine. Who are your friends?
LEXOR
This is Espi,
ESPI
(waves hand) Hi.
LEXOR
And this is Jeremy.
JEREMY
(waves nonchalantly) Hey Max.
MAX
Oh, hello again. We’ve met. I kind of crash landed in front of them.
LEXOR
Max!
MAX
I didn’t hit them! I just missed them.
LEXOR
We need to practice landing.
MAX
Now dad?
LEXOR
Well you are getting to be quite big! You need to master all of the skills of flying before you go off on any more of your long term flights.
MAX
But dad!
LEXOR
I know, you like flying, but you need to learn the basics. This summer we will practice. And then you can go visit your grandmother again.
MAX
But I like China!
LEXOR
Oh, your grandmother is not going anywhere. She has a wonderful setup and loves it there. You can visit her in a bit.
MAX
Well can we practice tomorrow? I was telling Espi and Jeremy what I’ve been doing in China.
LEXOR
I’ll bet they’ve heard enough. These two need to get some sleep! Right guys?
ESPI
I guess so.
JEREMY
Yeah, sure.
MAX
I’m tired too. I might as well lie down.
LEXOR
I will keep watch. There might be some strange things out here.
They all lay down and get ready for bed. Lexor sits upright on his haunches, in a crouching position. Espi curls up like a cat, and Jeremy finds a rock, which he covers with grass to make softer, which he uses as a pillow. Max lays in a semi-circle around them. The night is still, and you can hear croaking frogs in the distance. It is twilight as they lay down, and the sky is a periwinkle blue, fading quickly to black. Lexor’s eyes are twinkling as he stares out at the hilly terrain, the sky getting blacker by the minute. When the sky finally dims to the dark obsidian, the stars appear and the moon shines like a glowing ball of fire, full and complete. Lexor stirs, as he hears a noise similar to the howling of wolves.
LEXOR
(in a whisper, but from a griffin it is quite loud) Max! Wake up!
MAX
(softly, but surprised) Dad? What is it?
LEXOR
(still quietly) There’s howling. Wolves, but not wolves. Werewolves I fear.
MAX
Here? I thought they were a cold weather clan?
LEXOR
They are, but you get your weirdos in every breed. Either that or they’re looking for someone.
MAX
The girl?
LEXOR
Possibly. That’s what I’m afraid of. She doesn’t know.
MAX
She’s not heard of the prophecy?
LEXOR
No. Her father raised her in the city, and she’s had no experience with such things.
I have no idea where to put scene breaks. So I just don’t .
Mirabelle, you are officially brilliant.
I love that they just throw the ring down the well. And Harriet is an obvious spoof on Gollum. Mirabelle, you must, I repeat MUST produce this.
More of my script. I have too many things that I have said and then not come back to. The aliens should make a reappearance sometime…
MAX
I can’t believe she’s never heard the prophecy. All of the creatures have, even grandma, and she’s lost most of her hearing.
LEXOR
I know. I think her father wanted to protect her, but by keeping her ignorant he has put her in more danger. I have been keeping after her rather well, after I guessed she was the child of the prophecy.
MAX
So what about those howlers? Werewolves? Or another beast?
LEXOR
Werewolves are a possibility. WE must protect her, and as we can’t become werewolves we should protect her without fear of harm. The boy too.
MAX
Does he have a part to play?
LEXOR
It is unclear. He could be either her undoing or her savior, based on what she decides.
MAX
Should we keep him away from her?
LEXOR
I think she should be the one to decide. Do not be overly friendly to him, but do not be to cold. He already thinks I dislike him, so you try to warm up to him.
MAX
Should we wake them up? Alert them of the creatures in the dark?
LEXOR
No. Let them sleep. But if the animals come closer we will fly somewhere safe.
MAX
Should I stay awake or will you keep watch?
LEXOR
You go back to bed. You’ve had a long flight, and you need rest. The sounds are getting closer, so don’t expect to sleep for very long. I’ll wake you when I can see them.
Max lies down in the same position as before, and Lexor, more alert than previously, stares out concentrating on the howling than is getting steadily louder. Espi and Jeremy stir slightly as Max lies down, but do not wake. Lexor watches and listens and about an hour later sees the creatures. They do not move as elegantly as real wolves, though their form is mainly the same. Their eyes look hungry, and their lips are curled upwardly in a snarl. They creep closer to the griffins and appear ready to pounce
LEXOR
(whispering even softer than before) Max! (more urgently and louder) Max!
MAX
(instantly awake) Are they here?
LEXOR
Yes. Move slowly. Do not startle them. Wake the children.
Max does what Lexor says, and slowly moves toward the children, grasping one in each claw and hovering above.
LEXOR
(looking up at Max) Go! Fly across the river. I will relieve you of your burden in a minute. Fly in circles, do not attempt to land.
MAX
Ok.
Max flies off, and the children wake. Espi screams, ad Jeremy does not scream though thrashes in Max’s grasp.
MAX
(glancing downward, though as he does so he loses altitude) Espi! Jeremy! Quiet! Be still!
Espi and Jeremy, confused, are still and quiet. Back on land Lexor is battling the werewolves. There are six of them, and they are snapping at his talons. He hovers above, and swipes at them with his claws. He catches one, and throws it to the river where it lets out an anguishing howl before ceasing movement in the river. Three of the other werewolves have been disabled, and are unable to move. The remaining two werewolves are putting up a good fight, though Lexor, immune to their bites, is much stronger. There is much snarling and calling going on, quite loudly. Lexor has in less than ten minutes disabled all of the werewolves. After all of them are either unable to move or dead, Lexor examines his wounds. He has two mild scratches on his left flank, and none of the wolves so much as grazed his wings. His talons are no longer shiny like brass but they are covered in dark red blood. His haunches have many scratches, but are not seriously wounded. Lexor flies off I nthe direction of Max.
MAX
Are they all dead?
LEXOR
Almost. I killed three, and the other three (there were six) are severely disabled. They will die from wounds before long.
MAX
Do you want the kids?
LEXOR
Sure. I will fly under you and catch them as you drop them.
Lexor flies below Max, and Max releases the two children from his grasp.
ESPI
(screams) AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
JEREMY
AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
The two children land on Lexor’s back a moment later, and they stop screaming suddenly, as they are given a severe jolt.
ESPI
Oof. MAX!!!!! WHY DID YOU DROP US!!!
MAX
Oh. Well I can’t land with you in my claws, so I dropped you so Lexor would catch you.
JEREMY
(screaming) That still wasn’t nice not to warn us!
LEXOR
But you are safe now, right?
ESPI
Yes but why did you not wake us up, grab us, fly us across a river, and then drop us from six thousand or more feet without telling us?!? Why?!?
LEXOR
We didn’t want to alarm you.
ESPI
(Bordering on hysterical) Alarm us? No, telling us that you were about to let us dangle from the claws of a griffon would in no way have alarmed us! We would have been fine!
MAX
There were werewolves after you! We were taking you to safety!
ESPI
(still hysterical) Oh, werewolves! That explains it! I should have guessed!
LEXOR
Espi, we were trying to help. Forgive us, please. Nothing bad happened, and if we’d not been there things likely would have been much worse.
ESPI
Thanks for the kind gesture. I think Jeremy and I will be on our way as soon as we land.
JEREMY
Espi, try to be reasonable. The griffins were only trying to help. Look at Lexor! He killed six werewolves for you! If he’d not been there, we’d have been turned into one of those monsters ourselves before long. Be reasonable. (to Max and Lexor) We’re not leaving. We’ll be staying with you.
MAX
Thank you for your trust in us. We appreciate it. (in a whisper, to Jeremy) If you could try to make Espi come round…?
JEREMY
I’ll try. Once she’s calmed down she’ll be able to think more clearly.
The griffins continue flying towards land, and down approaches. The full moon fades away, and the palest pinks and reds welcome the sun’s approach. It appears on the horizon like a pat of melting butter, yellow and fuzzy around the edges.
LEXOR
We are almost to land. Have you to gotten enough sleep?
JEREMY
After that disturbance with the werewolves, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for a while. Neither will Espi, given to her reaction.
MAX
We’re here! Do you want me to land first, or shall you go first and yell out pointers?
LEXOR
I’ll go first.
Lexor begins his descent towards the flat, sandy, beach.
LEXOR
Flap your wings slower, and hover just above the land. Then when you get close enough start moving forward and go at it at a bit of a run.
Lexor follows his own advice, and makes a perfect landing. Max, on the other hand, stops hovering too soon, and runs toward the ground without flapping his wings, ending up with his beak in the sand and his legs at an awkward angle.
MAX
(Moaning, and in pain) Ouch. That hurt.
LEXOR
Yes, we have a bit to work on, I can tell. Do you know where your mother is residing at this time?
MAX
Where she is residing? Not where she’s residing but I know where she is. She’s in Brazil. The outskirts, near the water.
LEXOR
Brazil, huh? You told me last night that she was in Mexico. So which is it?
MAX
Brazil. I’m almost sure of it. I think. Probably.
ESPI
Well Brazil would be good anyhow, we can look for my dad. Speaking of which, did you loose his scent Lexor?
LEXOR
No, he is actually in that direction. He’s moved since last time. Are you hungry Jeremy?
JEREMY
A little. Do you have any food?
LEXOR
Not with me, but there should be a store a little ways down this path. Espi, I assume you now have your wits about you?
ESPI
Yes I am much better. Those werewolves just gave me quite a fright, you know?
LEXOR
Yes, I know. They can be quite nasty.
ESPI
Have you had run-ins with them before?
LEXOR
Twice. The first time there was but one of them, and he was easily taken out. The second time there were many more after my wife, and the baby max. It was much more of a dire situation then, what with Max being less than two years old, and not flying well yet. My wife, Fiona, and I had to fend off about twelve of them, and protect Max at the same time. It made Max quite distraught though, which is why we think he still has trouble flying.
MAX
Do not!
LEXOR
Do you even remember that landing you made a while ago?
MAX
Ok, maybe I do need a bit of practice landing. But I’m not that bad!
LEXOR
(with a twinkle in his eye) I know you’re not. Now where in Brazil is your mother?
MAX
The eastern edge, near the ocean, between Fortaleza and Teresina.
LEXOR
Ok, that’s a good general direction. (to Espi and Jeremy) Why don’t you two go up to that store and get something to eat. Max and I will go fly around and look for some deer or a couple wild boar for our breakfast.
Espi and Jeremy leave Lexor and Max, and walk alone a dusty path toward a small store made of cement walls with the windows proclaiming, ‘Half Price’ and ‘Going Out of Business Sale!’ and ‘All dry goods 50% off’.
ESPI
Well let’s go on in. And maybe we won’t meet another crazy shopkeeper.
JEREMY
I hope not. Are there streams nearby?
ESPI
No, just the ocean.
JEREMY
Great. Anyway, shall we?
They walk into the store, which is painted a pale green, a hideous color. The paint is peeling, and it is a very decrepit store.
But Mirabelle, the best thing about your script is the disconnectedness! It makes it so funny! Though it’s still good.
The windows are grimy and dusty, and when Espi goes to turn the handle of the door, a layer of dust falls off.
ESPI
Eww! This store seriously needs some cleanup.
JEREMY
Well, it is going out of business. Do you think they just didn’t bother to clean up since they were closing soon?
ESPI
Yeah, I guess so. But you’d think that if they were trying to attract customers they would clean their store up.
Jeremy turns the knob, as Espi had let go and come back with a palm of dust. He walks into the dimly lit shop, which is crowded with shelves and stacks of books, knickknacks, pots, pans, lampshades and lamps, empty aquariums, nails, silverware, and anything else. The shop was filled to the brim in a disorganized manner with everything imaginable. The two wander through the aisles looking for things resembling food, or for the shopkeeper. Neither appears to be in the store, but it is so crowded they cannot be sure.
JEREMY
(in a whisper) Espi, does there appear to be any order to anything?
ESPI
Not that I can tell. It seems just to be a jumble of whatever the shopkeeper could find.
JEREMY
Speaking of which, do you see a shopkeeper or a counter where he might be?
ESPI
I can barely see anything in here. Are there even any lights in here?
Jeremy picks up a light bulb, and then reaches down two shelves to pick up a lamp, and then grabs a lampshade off the top shelf.
JEREMY
Maybe not lit, but here’s a lamp for you!
ESPI
Thanks. Do you see a plug?
JEREMY
We’ve been over this. No one can see!
ESPI
(yelling) Hello? Is anyone here?
JEREMY
What’d you do that for! Blow my eardrum, will you…
ESPI
(still yelling) Hello! Anyone home?!?
SHOPKEEPER
(faintly) What?
ESPI
Are there people in here?
SHOPKEEPER
Hey? Customers!
ESPI
We’re over here! Next to a… Green piggy bank that had huge ears, and lamp that is shaped like a mermaid, and a shelf with lampshades on the top. Can you find us?
SHOPKEEPER
I know just where you are! (While saying this, his voice seems to get fainter, as if he were walking in the other direction, which he is.)
ESPI
I think you are going the wrong way!
SHOPKEEPRER
Oh really? Oh, yes, I see. Is there a large lapis lazuli frog next to you on the floor?
Espi looks down at her feet, and sees a pure blue frog, more of a toad, that has a look as if it is constipated.
ESPI
Erm, yeah, it’s over here.
SHOPKEEPER
(his voice getting closer) I’m coming.
He eventually finds them in the aisle, and when he appears he is a very old man. His hair is gray and in disarray, and his big bushy eyebrows make him look quite eccentric, which he is. He is short, and somewhat hunchbacked. There is a very large circular bald spot on his head, and a halo of white fluff surrounding the shiny skin. His eyes, a twinkling blue, are small, but friendly.
SHOPKEEPER
Well, now that I’ve found you, how may I bee of service?
ESPI
Well, we are looking for some food to take with us, portable, light spoil free.
SHOPKEEPER
(brightly) I have just what you’re looking for! Follow me please. (As he’s walking) What are your names?
JEREMY
My name is Jeremy, and this is my friend Espi.
SHOPKEEPER
(Good-naturedly) Is that all? Anyway, I bet you’re wondering why my shop’s so dimly lit.
ESPI
Wow, you can read minds?!?
SHOPKEEPER
No, it echoes in here and I heard You and Jeremy talking. I actually have but three plugs for which lamps may be plugged into, all which have been taken since.
ESPI
I see. No candles?
SHOPKEEPER
No. There are so many things crammed s close together in here; if I were to light a match the building would burn down lickety split! Oh, My name is Mr. MacEwan, by the way
JEREMY
So why are you closing up shop?
MR. MACEWAN
Well, there’s practically no one living out here, in case you hadn’t noticed. There just wasn’t any money to be made in having a junk shop, and taxes were getting to me.
ESPI
So what will you do if you can’t sell everything?
MR. MACEWAN
Well, I suppose I’ll just take it home. To my house. Which is, I suppose you could say, here. I live in the attic.
JEREMY
So why are you trying to get rid of everything? I mean, simpler to just close and keep it, right?
MR. MACEWAN
Simpler, but I’d like to make a bit of money before I close up shop. Speaking of which, you two got any money?
ESPI
Actually, we only have some gold.
MR. MACEWAN
(startled, surprised) Gold coins? Where dod you get these? (looks at the golden quarters, which Espi had from the ring.) There mut be none others like in on this planet!
JEREMY
Surely they’re not that rare… (trails off)
MR. MACEWAN
Oh, but they are! Have you ever seen a golden quarter before? I’ll let you have whatever you want in this shop if I can have one. Deal? (to himself) Boy this will really help with the bills!
ESPI
Alright, I guess. Are we ever going to get to the aisle with the food?
MR. MACEWAN
Oh yes! In fact, here we are. The quarter? (Espi hands over the quarter) thank you! You may have anything you like, let me know when you are through browsing.
JEREMY
I don’t think I could look at everything in a million years! But thank you very much Mr. MacEwan. Do you have any recommendation of food for two griffins?
MR. MACEWAN
Griffins? Why I haven’t seen one of those In years! How did you happen to come across them?
ESPI
(to Jeremy in a whicper) Why did you do that? WE were trying to keep them a secret!
JEREMY
(responding to Espi in the same tone of voice) A secret? Yeah right! These creatures are the size of houses, haven’t you noticed!
ESPI
Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean that we should just go telling everyone that we know that we’re friends with griffins!
JEREMY
‘Everyone that we know’? WE know a total of, let’s think, three people, including the griffins. Aside from them, one other person. A crazy old man. Thin kabout it Espi. No one cares!
ESPI
Easy for you to say. (returning to her conversation with the old man) Well one of them just sort of happened upon us, and we became friends. It seems that he once knew my father. Please don’t spread the word, OK?
MR. MACEWAN
Alright. But wow, that is some accomplishment
ESPI
What is, talking to a griffin?
MR. MACEWAN
Yes!
ESPI
Well, as I said, he was a friend of my dad’s. (Picks up some crackers, M&Ms, peanuts, and dried fruit off the shelf) We’d better get going Mr. MacEwan. Do you have any meat?
MR. MACEWAN
There’s some in that fridge there. (Opens the door of the mini fridge, and pulls out some cheese, cut turkey, and a few grapes) There you are. Do you thin kyou will ever be traveling I nthis neck of the wood again?
JEREMY
I’m very sorry Mr. MacEwan, but likely not. We should be on our way shortly, now that we have our non perishables. Thank you very much!
MR. MACEWAN
You are quite welcome. If you see anything else that you wat and/or need then just pick it up. Best wishes on your adventure!
He turns around and walks back through the maze of shelves, and Espi and Jeremy walk the other direction, towards the faint light coming I nthrough the door, and pick up things that they want and put them in their basket, which is green and yellow, large with purple handles. They found said basket as they were walking between two shelves and it fell ontop of Jeremy’s head. They continue walking, making small talk, and then reach the door and step out into the bright sunlight.
JEREMY
Boy the sun is bright! I can’t believe that shop was so dark.
ESPI
I know. Should we take this immediately back to Lexor and Max? They might not be back yet…
JEREMY
We shuld still head back that way though, right? Then they would know where to find us.
Walking back along the path to the beach.
ESPI
Have you noticed that we backtrack a lot in our journey?
JEREMY
Yeah, I guess so. We do end up going back the way we came a lot. Weird huh?
ESPI
Quite.
They are silent until they reach the sand, where they promptly sit down to look at their findings in the store.
JEREMY
(holding up a yellow cone, the point of which has been curled into a spiral.) Espi, What’s this?
ESPI
I think it’s a hat. Why?
JEREMY
Why did you put this in the basket?
ESPI
No reason really. I thought it was cool looking. Why did you put this I nthe basket? (holds up something resembling a sweater, but with three arms and no head hole. It is fuzzy and blue, and hideous)
JEREMY
You never know. We might meet something that is headless and has three arms along the way, and then whatever it is will be very happy.
ESPI
I see. Well we seem to have picked up a lot of useless junk. Shall we keep it?
JEREMY
I suppose. I was kind of just trying to clear some stuff out for Mr. MacEwan, because he really was never going to sell anything. Except for that golden quarter, of course.
ESPI
Oh yes. He won’t hesitate to sell that.
JEREMU
Do you think it was OK to give him that? It must be one of a kind. But I suppose we have other golden coins. What’ve we got left?
ESPI
A nickel and three pennies, all golden. That’s all that’s left.
JEREMY
Well they must be worth a bit considering that they’re gold. What do you think Mr. MacEwan will buy when he sells his quarter?
ESPI
He’ll probably buy a new house. If that’s enough gold. I wonder who he’ll sell it to…
Lexor and Max come swooping down out of the blue, and Jeremy and Espi scoot back so that they can land. The two griffins are grinning broadly (if griffins can grin). They have eaten, seeing as Max has some whiskers sticking out of the side of his beak. Espi points this out.
ESPI
Max, I think you’ve got a little some thing in your teeth.
Max smiles sheepishly and glups. The whiskers disappear.
JERERMY
Good hunting?
LEXOR
Yes. It was quite fun. Max learned how to land too.
MAX
It was my first real landing! My head was up and I didn’t crash! Dad said the problem was that I kept closing my eyes.
ESPI
Yes, I can see why that would prohibit you from flying well. Are we ready to go to brazil?
LEXOR
Yes, let’s fly. Espi, you fly on my back, and Jeremy you can ride on Max. OK?
JEREMY
That’ll be fine. How long will it take to get to Brazil?
LEXOR
About three hours.
JEREMY
Wow. Where are we exactly now?
LEXOR
Mexico, somewhere. Near the edge. We’re going to the lower part of brazil. Of, Espi, you can just hold that basket tight while take off, OK?
ESPI
Fine.
Thank you GAPAs! [No problem.]
I am very proud of this fight scene. Comments?
LEXOR
Your father is likely somewhere near where my wife is hiding. I fear that the magician Locke Newbet may have captured him. His hideout it in Brazil as well, remarkable coincidence, huh?
ESPI
(to herself) Maybe more than just a coincidence. I wonder how well you trust your wife…
They continue flying to Brazil, and reach it faster than expected. In about two hours and fifteen minutes, they arrive about fifty mies in from the shore, which is rocky. The griffins cause much disturbance, as all of the people in the fields and town notice their passing. Soon a rumor spreads that two giant birds have come to avenge the death of their people. Untrue of course, but the common people were very superstitious. The griffins found a clearing, and landed. Max made his landing perfectly, as if he had never had any trouble before.
MAX
I did it! I did it! I landed!
LEXOR
Good job son! Now Espi, I have a feeling htat your father is in the same place as my wife.
ESPI
Really? That’s interesting. What was your wife’s name again?
LEXOR
It’s Fiona. And female griffins are a lot more… protective than the males, so you might want to watch out. They are also somewhat larger. Watch your back. I’ll protect you, but my future’s with my mate.
The griffins and humans walk through the woods, and come across a very large cave. Espi gets ahead of the group, and reaches the cave first. Espi stops to look at it, and notices that there is no one in it. There is a lot of glinting golden treasure, but Espi does not see the griffin Fiona.
ESPI
Hey guys? I don’t think that she’s here at the moment. Come look.
LEXOR
Really? My wife was always good at hiding, and she might be camouflaged. That’s another tricky feature of the female griffins-their feathers change color depending on their mood or their surroundings.
JEREMY
Doesn’t that make it hard to get a mate? You’d think that you could never find the right girl again!
LEXOR
Well that’s partly why they have color changing fur and wings. So that they will know that you are true to them and that they know you really want to be with them forever.
JEREMY
Sound like a complicated way to get a girl. Why not just remain single?
LEXOR
Too much fun being married. And some of us love kids, what can I say?
ESPI
So you think that your wife has camouflaged herself and is in the cave?
LEXOR
Yes. Though why your father would be in there, I can’t say…
The party walks into the cage quietly, as if they wer etrying not to be caught unawares. As Espi enters the cave she immediately is able to discern the faint outline of a humungous bird, that is seemingly to big for the cave. The birds eyes are open, and when the griffin notices that Espi has seen it, she rears up on her hind legs to attack Espi. Only a sharp cry from Lexor holds her back.
FIONA
Who is this girl? Why is she with my baby? (to Max) Oh my baby! I have missed you so!
MAX
Mom, I’ve been gone about two months. Whatever are you going to do when I move out?
FIONA
I just don’t think I’ll be able to bare it. (to Lexor) Now Lexor, who is this girl? (just noticing Jeremy) And this boy! What are they doing in the company of two ferocious griffins?
LEXOR
Oh, well it seems that Espi’s dad is somewhat of a hero to the griffins. He was against the committee that was going t okill all of the griffins! He saved allof our lives! So when I saw his only daughter and her best friend in danger, I just had to save them. And then Max came in early from China…
Lexor glares at Max, A penetrating stare coming from such big eyes.
MAX
But grandma sent me home! I swear she did!
LEXOR
Riiiight…
FIONA
(Menacingly) So, now that we’ve been introduced, I would like for you two to meet someone.
Locke Newbet, the evil magicican, steps out from behind Fiona’s right wing. He is quite tall, about 6’3â€, and his hair is a dark dark brown, almost black. He has eyes that are a pure blue, but his menacing gaze turns them from beautiful to hideous. His eyebrows are grown together, practically in a unibrow, and he is wearing a pristine navy blue pinstriped suit. He has oddly clashing gray boots, not a natural color for boots, that are shiny, again odd, since they are gray. He is frowning, an unpleasant facial expression on anyone, even more so on him. His face is angular, and generally square, with ears that stick out at right angles. His menacing gaze is focused entirely on Espi.
LOCKE NEWBET
( with a curt nod) Espi, Jeremy, Lexor.
MAX
What about me?
LOCKE NEWBET
Oh you must be Max. Quite an ugly brute aren’t you?
FIONA
Don’t insult my baby!
LOCKE NEWBET
What ever you say my lady. Shall I bring out the prisoner?
FIONA
(Fickle, with a threatening gaze towards Espi) Of course.
LEXOR
The prisoner? Fiona? What’s going on?
FIONA
You’re never home anymore darling. I’ve found another hobby. Lies. Deceit. Kidnapping. All my line of work. Bet you think you should’ve stayed home more now, huh?
LEXOR
My dear, how could you?
CANTER MILLENTANDO
Espi! My girl! My daughter!
When finally seen, Canter Millentando appears to have once had a portly figure that has decayed with his long stay in the cave. Whitish hair but no bald spots show he’s not too old, but he could have taken better care of himself. His eyes are a deep brown, and have flecks of green in them. He looked like a star soccer player gone to seed. Locke Newbet’s knife is at his throat, and his voice is hoarse. He has been living on bread and water for weeks.
ESPI
(Confused)Dad? You’re here? But how?!?
CANTER MILLENTANDO
I’ve been kidnapped! Against my will!
ESPI
(exasperated, and annoyed) Dad, if you had been wiling it couldn’t have been considered a kidnapping.
CANTER MILLENTANDO
(pondering even in the moment of confusion) I see…
LEXOR
Fiona how could you! You are my wife! My beloved!
FIONA
Ah, so you say. But you my friend are just so wrong. You have never loved my. Not fully. I know of your affair with that Genevieve.
LEXOR
Tehre was no affair! Genevieve was my parter for a very important experiment! In highschool, no less!
FIONA
And you treachery has carried through. You should have learned at least one thing by now Lexor. WE griffins always hold a grudge.
Fiona leaps at Lexor, snarling as only a griffin can. He clawas are unleashed, and she hurtles through the air at breakneck speed only to be attacked partway through by her son, Max, intent on protecting his father.
MAX
Don’t hurt him!
FIONA
You cannot get in the way Max! I will have my revenge!
Fiona, still snarling, leaps past Max and towards Lexor’s throat. Lexor is still quicker, and he slides out of the way. As the fighting between griffins has been going one, Espi and Jeremy have been starstruck, and stare at the battle. Only when Locke Newbet holding Espi’s fath captive is in front of them does Espi come out of her trancelike state.
Alice- What do you think >My mom want’s me to change it, but Ikind of like the dark depressing way it ends.
ESPI
(distressed) What have you done to him!
CANTER WERTHING
Not much. A bit of torture. Starvation. I needed him captive for the ransom note.
ESPI
(bordering on hysterical) Ransom note! Why are you holding my father for ransom?
LOCKE NEWBET
Why I knew you’d come looking of course! It took you a lot longer than I’d imagined to find us, but I did what had to be done.
ESPI
(hysterical, almost in tears) What had to be done? None of this had to be done! And what do you want with me?
LOCKE NEWBET
Well you are to finish the prophecy of course! ‘The one with long blond hair, born to the father of a master businessman, shall rise to become the greatest magican of all!’
ESPI
(Unperturbed) That’s the prophecy? I am the only blond-haired daughter of a businessman in existence?
LOCKE NEWBET
Surely not, but you were the most readily available.
ESPI
(again hysterical) Readily available? (with sudden enlightenment) You were the one who told me to be at the building that fateful day!
LOCKE NEWBET
(slyly) Possibly.
ESPI
You set this whole thing up! Is Jeremy a setup too?
JEREMY
No! I swear! I knew nothing nhtis whole time!
LOCKE NEWBET
No, Jeremy was not involved. But it was partly his fault of the sidetracking. His magic stopped working the other ay, correct?
JEREMY
Yes, how did you know? (the facts dawning on him) You’re Lock Newbet! The evil magician that Oscar Diggs warned me about!
LOCKE NEWBET
Why yes of course! Didn’t you recognize me?
Locke Newbet begins spinning wildly, creating a whirlwind of dust around him. Espi begins screaming, and in the flurry of movement Locke lets go of Canter Millentande. He transforms his figure into that of Mr. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Diggs.
ESPI
You! It was you the whole time!
LOCKE NEWBET
Criminal mastermind, that’s me.
The whole while that Espi and Jeremy had been conversing, or Jeremy rather staring, at (with) Locke Newbet, Fiona, max, and Lexor had been fighting in an all out tussle. Fiona was snarling wildly, and Max was on the side of Lexor. Lexor had not many scratches on him, while Fiona was quite fatigued.
FIONA
I…Will…Not…Surrender!
She fights back ever more strongly, her feathers flying and fur pulled out, claws lethally drawn and beak poised for attack. Fiona attacks Lexor with a well placed peck towards the heart, and Lexor is finally hit with a near fatal blow. He falls, and Max screeches loudly. He grabs Lexor’s body, struggles out toward the entrance to the cave, flies off into the distance.
FIONA
I have beaten you Lexor! You are finished!
LOCKE NEWBET
YO uand I my love, shall be together always. Give me a minute to finish up with these two youngsters. I need to explain to them before I kill them.
ESPI
No! What have we done!
LOCKE NEWBET
Your very existence has been treacherous, Esperanza Claudia Anastasia Trishia Millentando the Third.
ESPI
My full name! How did you find out?
LOCKE NEWBET
While playing the part of your father, I have had to reaserch many facts. That was one of the most obvious one to find out. And now, Esperanza, you die!
He grabs a silver blade from his belt, unsheathes it quickly, and stabs it toward Espi’s heart.
ESPI
(screaming)
Jeremy leaps in front of the blade, in a final act of suicidal heroism.
ESPI
Jeremy! No!
Jeremy gives her a last loving glance, and then his head droops.
ESPI
Jeremy!
LOCKE NEWBET
You, my dear, will have to die, no matter how many innocent people I have to kill to get to you.
ESPI
You can’t kill him! No!
LOCKE NEWBET
I already have my dear.
CANTER MILLENTANDO
Be strong my dear! I shall flee1 I trust you darling!
Locke Newbet and Esperanza are left in a head to head battle, Espi aremed with no more that a simple stone. But a well placed stone, as everyone knows, can kill the mightiest of men.
LOCKE NEWBET
It appears that you an I are the only ones left. All else have fled. And you cannot run. For if you run, I will find you. I will look till the ends of the earth.
ESPI
Then I will fight, with no more than a stone.
Espi holds up a jagged edged rock, and flings it at Locke. He dodges easily
LOCKE NEWBET
Is that all you’ve got sweetheart?
Espi becomes even more enraged, and starts flinging one rock after another in a hurtling onslaught of stones.
LOCKE NEWBET
You can to better than that. Come on, hit me where it hurts!
Espi picks up a particularly smooth, round stone, aims, and hurls it right at his head. Locke Newbet moans, and crumples to the ground like a sheet of paper.
ESPI
Hah! I’ve beaten you!
LOCKE NEWBET
(dying) Yes, you won, but Who’ve you got left? Your only friend, dead, you father a coward, and the two griffins you once loved gone. What is there left living for?
Locke Newbet’s face falls, and the light in his eyes is extinguished. He is dead. Espi stares at the scene around her, a jumble of loose feathers, fur, stones, and Jeremy’s blood-soaked body lying on the ground
ESPI
(to herself) Yes, what’ve I got to live for? What’ve I got to lose?
49- You want my honest opinion? Well, it’s a tad abrupt. And I don’t really get it; because the last line means nothing. “What have I got to lose?” isn’t a perfect line unless it is followed up with something. It doesn’t make a good parting line. But other than that, it’s good for a tragic ending, but it’s so quick that I don’t really notice it’s tragic. I might if it was on the screen, though.
It was such a funny script, I think you ought to give the scene more humor, even if people are dropping like flies. But other than that, it’s good.
It’s my Giant Musiod Amazing Awesome Weird Spur Of The Moment Probably Won’t Be Continued For A Long Time Script Thingy! YAAAY!
I started out with Rainbow because I Kokonvened with her. Everyone else will follow…
Setting: Black room. Zinc is sleeping on floor with thin blanket on her. After a pause, Rainbow enters with small book. She sits cross legged on a nearby stool and opens book. After a while, she snaps the book shut and leans over Zinc. Giving out a small hugg that Zinc is still asleep, she opens the book again, occasionally glancing at Zinc. Finally, she reaches over and pokes Zinc’s cheek. Zinc startles awake.
Zinc: HUAA!
Rainbow: Oh good, you’re up.
Zinc: *blink*
Rainbow: *pause* *blinkblink*
Zinc: I will not be defeated! *blinkblinkblinkbli-*
Rainbow: *wait*
Zinc: …why are you in my room?
Rainbow: I’m not.
Zinc: I suppose not. I would think my room would have more color in it.
Rainbow: Right you are. *smile*
Zinc: How would you know?
Rainbow: Where do you think you are?
Zinc: … not my room.
Rainbow: Good job.
To be continued!
“Hugg” should read “huff.”
Hehe, funny. You could put other MBers in it too.
Also, I like your avatar. Is it L? *realizes no one but Zinc knows who L is* *shuts up*
I know who L is!
Me too!
I know who L is!
53: Am doing. Putting in Nilly and… someone else.
IT CHANGED FOR YOU?! *grumblegrumble* And at least two others know who L is.
It changed on one of your posts. I like it too!
My AIM buddy icon is a picture of L. XD
Oh, there it is.
I still see girl with flowers… why is my computer like this?! *shakefist*
GOT IT! W00T!!!! *chairdance*
I’m pretty sure I do.
More! Ehehe. I’m just bored and haven’t eaten much today besides pudding and chicken. So cut me some slack!
I also added a few lines to the first part I posted to make it more cohernet and less repetitive.
ZINC: …why are you in my room?
RAINBOW: I’m not.
ZINC: I suppose you aren’t. I would think my room would have more color in it.
RAINBOW: Right you are. *smile*
ZINC: How would you know?
RAINBOW: How do you think you got here?
ZINC: Where is here?
RAINBOW: Where do you think you are?
ZINC: … not my room.
RAINBOW: Good job.
ZINC: Cut the sarcasm, please.
RAINBOW: I am most deeply sorrowful my sarcastic comments hurt your most delicate soul.
ZINC: Erg! I said cut it **out**!
RAINBOW: Nyahaha!
-Elsewhere-
Setting: Woods. An unpaved road, clear of plantation. Suddenly, BEAVO bursts out of the woods on to the road and starts sprinting down it.
BEAVO: *wailing* It’s gonna catch meee!!!
FIDDLER: *bursts out, following BEAVO* Beavo, waaaaiiit!
-Other elsewhere-
Setting: IBCF and ZVX are in the middst of swarms of bunnies. ZVX is using violent means (swords, lightsabers, etc.) while IBCF is using mainly pies. They manage to clear a path to the door, and ZVX wrenches it opens. After IBCF quickly throws one last pumpkin pie, they burst inside and slam the door shut. They slump down against the wall, huffing and puffing.
ZVX: Holy CRAP.
IBCF: I concur! *pant*
Tapping of shoes is heard in hallway. ZVX and IBCF straighten up and get ready to fire. As en comes around corner, IBCF lets out a barrage of pies, and ZVX starts shooting.
GROUNDHOG appears, with pie goo smeared on her face and clothing and a clip board full of holes.
GROUNDHOG: You two are so lucky that clipboard didn’t have anything important on it.
IBCF: …oh dear.
GROUNDHOG: Now tell me- what could cause you to be so on guard? Mr. Joe?
IBCF: Bunnies.
GROUNDHOG: I knew that already, IBCF. I was **joking**.
*pause*
IBCF: Hahaha!
I typed this on Notepad, so I can’t italicize or bold or whatever. Huge sentences with exclamation points in caps are yelling, and things in **two** astericks are emphasis.
Am I going to be in it?
I don’t know; I’m still planning!
There will be Pocky, so much Pocky…
SFTDP.
Questions for Musers…
Anybody want to wear goggles? Pleeaase, I’m drawing the characters and I want someone to wear goggles!
Anybody not want to be in the script? Just say so.
I’ll wear goggles, if I’m in it. fireh (me) likes goggles, she do! (misamisa overdose from insane sister (whose first initial, ironically enough cause she acts like misamisa, is L.)) If you weren’t planning on me being in it, I don’t mind, and never mind.
Umm, if I get in it… I would like to wear goggles. Ya’ know, underwater… fish…. It works. Or you could just draw me as a Dolphin.
Yar, two people at the same time replied?
H’m, decisions… since you both so politely asked, I suppose I’ll put you in…
Just remember people, this thing will probably not be finished… i have the worst work ethic; I can never finish a story… so please don’t get your hopes up…
I’m trying not to have a main character here, but I can see it will probably be me if I succuuuuumb…. *drag*
Cool! Fireh is happy about that! But fireh can’t finish stories usually either so thats ok. Fireh thinks that it would be ok if you were the main character, because she says it is your story, right?
Ack. Is this the Partial Scripts thread or the Death Note thread?
Fireh’s sis Misafied fireh!
Okay, Fishy will wear the goggles. Don’t worry Fireh, I have something awesome planned for you.
Ooh! Also fireh has a question about you avatar, why is it a green smiley on my mac and L on my iPod?
Because of… clear your cache on your mac. I changed it to L a few days ago.
I dont know HOW to! *wails dramatically*
Wait, nevermind. Maybe that only works on IE. Go ask on the AtG thread. *shoos*
F&H: What’s your browser?
Safari.
Zinc- Woo, a grand entrance, complete with screaming and a chase! Thank you!
Zinc- chairdance? Can I do the chairdance? *chairdance*
Am I going to be in your script?
Uugh. After watching A Very Potter Musical, I am inspired to write a musical. Anyone want to help?
SFTDP- Purple Panda, I want you to post more of yours! I like it!
For joy, I have finished more!
-First elsewhere-
Setting: ZINC is now standing up, while RAINBOW is still reading her book on the stool. ZINC appears to be searching for an exit.
ZINC: Miranda, I’ve been around this whole room twice and haven’t found an exit. What will it take for you to tell me where it is?
RAINBOW: Finally you ask me. I was getting hungry.
ZINC: Just tell me how to get out.
RAINBOW: First I must ask you three questions. If you get one wrong, I’m leaving you here.
ZINC: Ask away.
RAINBOW: What is your name?
ZINC: Zinc Caraway of Snipville.
RAINBOW: What is your quest?
ZINC: To get out of this room.
RAINBOW: What is your favorite color?
ZINC: Black!
RAINBOW: You got it!
ZINC: …so where’s the exit?
RAINBOW: Where do you think it is?
ZINC: That’s four questions.
RAINBOW: Just answer me.
ZINC: That way! *points at RAINBOW*
RAINBOW: Correct.
RAINBOW lifts stool away from the floor. A piece of floor seems to be nailed to the stool’s legs, and it comes away.
ZINC: …why didn’t I think of that?
RAINBOW: Because you’re an idiot.
ZINC: Because I’m an idiot.
-The elsewhere two elsewheres before this one-
Setting: BEAVO is still sprinting down the road, screaming his head off. FIDDLER is still running behind, starting to catch up. Finally, she grabs his hood.
BEAVO: Nuuuu, let gooooo!
FIDDLER: Beavo… what is it you saw?
BEAVO: It’s horrible! It’s disgusting!
It has five pointy teeth
And a long lime green tongue!
Six thousand arms, fifteen eyes
And on three hundred feet it sprung!
Purple hair-
FIDDLER: Beavo, there is NO NEED for a MUSICAL MONTAGE.
Zinc- PWNSOME! An MB fanfic script! I like how you’re putting three totally unrelated (or appearing unrelated at the moment) scenes together, and they’re all funny. (I like the BA-ish one best, maybe–though I have to admit I’m biased…)
(Am I going to be in it? *begs* *bribes with choklit*)
Yeah, it’s awesome! Moah!
Ta da!
~
BEAVO: I’m sorry, but it could only be described in song!
FIDDLER: That’s usually used for things you like, Beavo.
BEAVO: Like a Disney movie?
FIDDLER: Exactly.
-The fifth elsewhere-
ZVX: Groundhog, you know we were in a simulation machine, correct?
GROUNDHOG: Really?
ZVX: You though it really was the bunpocalypse?
GROUNDHOG: Well, Fishy just told me so, so I-
ZVX: You must stop taking everything everyone tells you seriously. Do you remember the havoc you caused when a computer game said that zombies were attacking?
GROUNDHOG: I said I was sorry.
ZVX: That isn’t good enou-!
IBCF steps between the two and gleefully pies them both
ZVX: What the- don’t DO that, IBCF!
GROUNDHOG: Mmm, cherry. Good cherry.
IBCF: Why thank you.
GROUNDHOG: And you’re quite welcome. This is the best cherry I’ve tasted in a long time.
IBCF: I got it from my grandmother when I was just a young boy…
The scene starts to wave and harp music is heard.
GROUNDHOG: Wow, this is uncomfterable.
IBCF: You get used to it.
Suddenly, the screen stops waving.
ZVX: I REFUSE! I will NOT take part in this STUPIDITY!
IBCF: It’s not stupidity; it’s a memory.
ZVX: Same thing!
IBCF: Ouch, that hurts.
ZVX: It’s just- I’ve had to deal with that stupid harp music so much! It MAKES MY EARS BLEED!
VOICE: You’re BLEEDING?! Oh noes!
ARMADA comes running around the corner, holding a large sequined bag.
ARMADA: …you’re not bleeding, are you.
GROUNDHOG: Nope!
ARMADA: Awww, and I wasn’t finished sequining.
She holds up her bag. A section og the opposite side is blank.
IBCF: Oh, so that’s what color it is!
ARMADA: *flick* Don’t be cheeky.
~
Fireh, is it okay if I make you Misa like? It won’t be too severe.
Yeah, I like that. Also can you make me slightly annoying? Fireh likes being annoying, it’s funny to get reactions out of people! More like teasing really.
Zinc, what’s your position on entering other MBers in? I am a slightly crazy girl who will often break into song and/or a spazzy tap-jazz type dance, wears contacts, swears in Muse-ish a lot, and will hate any dog (except a Husky) completely. And uses the word ‘awesome’ a LOT.
67: You’ll prolly meet up with Rainbow and I sooner or later. It will be like Muse Scouts. There will be Pocky.
Can I be in it? Pwease? *puppydogeyes*
RQ: Yes, you will be.
AvalonGirl: Is it okay if other characters call your character Noe? in the write-y parts, you’ll still called AvalonGirl.
I read my name and I said, “HOLY CAKE THAT’S ME!” And got all excited… I am content… I love it. It’s hilarious.
-Elsewhere-
Setting: ZINC and RAINBOW have crawled into the passageway below the stool.
ZINC: Gawd, Rainbow, it’s so musty and dirty.
RAINBOW: Don’t forget cobwebby!
ZINC: Kya! *flails*
RAINBOW: Ehehe!
ZINC: When was the last time you cleaned this place?!
VOICE: We’ve cleaned it? That’s certainly news.
AVALONGIRL appears from around the bend.
ZINC: There… there are spiders?
AVALONGIRL: Big, huge, nasty ones. Don’t wanna get near those.
Zinc turns around and tries to go the other way, but RAINBOW stops her.
RAINBOW: Noe, that wasn’t very nice.
AVALONGIRL: Hey, she never said she was afraid of spiders.
ZINC: Because I was afraid people like YOU would use it against me. *snwiffle* Ah! Spiders! My Pocky isn’t safe here!
AVALONGIRL: You have Pocky?
ZINC: *glare* No, I DON’T.
AVALONGIRL: Mean.
ZINC: Payback.
AVALONGIRL: Sweet albino wungs, guys, do you what time it is?! We gotta get moving!
The trio crawls quickly down the passageway, AVALONGIRL still muttering “cake.†They get to their destination (or so AVALONGIRL says), and lift up a tile.
AVALONGIRL: I’m ba-ack!
GROUNDHOG: Oh, hello, you three!
AVALONGIRL: Who else is back?
GROUNDHOG: Nobody. You’re the first one. Fishy should be coming back with RQ and Fireh right now-
The sound of bickering is heard. It seems to be coming from above ARMADA.
ROSEQUARTZ: And if you’d just knock like any person with an ounce of politeness would do, my parents wouldn’t have to be drugged like that!
FISHY: Everyone’s parents got drugged, ZINC got drugged-
FIREH, ROSEQUARTZ, and FISHY appear above ARMADA. ARMADA, luckily, moves away in time before the aforementioned trio fall in a heap where she was standing.
ZINC turns to RAINBOW, ROSEQUARTZ and FISHY squabbling in the background.
ZINC: You drugged me?
RAINBOW: We-ell, maybe, yes, a little bit-
ZINC: You drugged me.
RAINBOW: Yes?
ZINC: *flick* Don’t drug me. It drops my thinking level 40%.
ARMADA: You’ve been drugged before?
ZINC: Yes. Noe’s fault.
I love how casual I say “Everyone’s parents got drugged.” Well, that’s how I pictured me saying it… XD
Heheh. You certainly got my personality perfectly in that one line. How do you do it, Zinc?
Umm, I act, and I’m an improv comedian. Also the one who can shout out funny things in the blink of an eye in class.
Oh! One time our sub was getting mad at us for talking in math and he said, “Unless you don’t want homework this weekend I suggest you stop talking.” So everyone shut up and I almost pointed out what he actually said, but I thought it over and decided not to.
I act too, and shout out totally random stuff in class
Oh dear. They actually thought he…. *cracks up*
Nah, just the tone of voice. It was an advanced math class.
That was me last year… Although, I might’ve not been funny, but I did get some laughs. Sadly, next year is looking more serious…
LOL, Zinc, I love it! *chants over and over* MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!
-The other elsewhere-
FIDDLER: Beavo, we’re supposed to be there by now. Just stay still for a moment-
BEAVO starts sprinting away again.
FIDDLER: BEAVO! GET BACK HERE, YOU CRETIN!
FIDDLER starts chasing BEAVO again. Eventually, she chases him into a small town, and ALICE and SUDORANDOM come out of the drugstore. FIDDLER has stopped to rest in front of it, slumped down on the bench panting.
ALICE: I’m sorry, Fiddler. Beavo is certainly a handful.
FIDDLER: More like a lakeful.
ALICE: Hey Sudo, you have any water?
SUDORANDOM: Oh, yes!
FIDDLER: Thank you so much. *drinks*
SUDORANDOM: I’ll get Beevs. I may not seem like it, but I’m fast. *speeds away*
ALICE: He’s right. He got me pretty quick.
FIDDLER: You tried to run away?
ALICE: Strange person comes down chimney and shoots tranquilizer darts into parents’ necks. Your reaction?
FIDDLER: … I see your point.
SUDORANDOM drags BEAVO toward the bench. BEAVO is tied up in a straitjacket.
SUDORANDOM: Got him!
BEAVO: Let me GO, you waffle!
FIDDLER: No, Beevs.
ALICE: Let’s go!
Who are you and what have you done with me? Since when can I run fast?
And take the straigtjacket off. It’ll wrinkle the flare jeans I must have been wearing. I don’t think any other bottom I have would let me run that fast.
Just kidding (except about everything. Seriously, if this were real life and I was in a straight jacket having just run that fast, I would be a) trying to get out and fix my hair or b) passed out from running). It’s really good, keep going!
Your HAIR! Man, I completely forgot about your hair. *makes mental note to include signifigance of hair*
It’s usually up in a ponytail, just for reference. But even when it’s in that messy bun thing, everything has to be perfectly messy.
How’s that for OCD?
72- YAY!
-An entirely different elsewhere never mentioned before-
Setting: A lab. KITTYMINE is sitting at a computer, and PAN (Purple Panda) is sitting in an armchair reading a book. Suddenly, KITTYMINE’s watch starts beeping.
KITTYMINE: Groundhog’s load is finished.
PAN: Wonder where our’s is. And THF.
THF crashes through the window, sending shards of glass everywhere. KITTYMINE and PAN hide under furniture.
THF: One of their loads is coming here!
PAN: Why?!
THF: Because they met up, and we figured-
PAN: Why did you crash through the window?! One of us could’ve gotten hurt!
THF: I thought it looked cooler.
PAN: Well, you-
KITTYMINE: Pan, just let her finish. Who’s coming?
THF: Sudo, Alice, Fiddler, and Beavo.
PAN&KITTYMINE: WHAT?!
THF: Beavo is coming here.
PAN: Oh my GOD, I don’t even have a straitjacket ready! *runs out door*
THF: *calls after* If they’re coming, they already have one! Or they drugged him…
KITTYMINE: So one of our loads is coming there, right?
THF: Yup, RtH and Meow.
Ooh, can I be in it? Or do you already have enough characters?
It’s awesome, by the way. I LOVE the randomness. I’ll be reading it eagerly!
-New elsewhere!-
Setting: MEOW is sitting in front of the TV fidgeting while her parents watch the news.
MEOW: May I go on the computer? Please?
MEOW’S FATHER: No. Sit still and watch this program; it’s very interesting.
RTH comes throught the roof and shoots tranqilizer darts into parents’ necks. Parents immediately slump.
MEOW: What- HAWK?!
RTH: *brushes self off* Well well, Meow, you recognize me.
MEOW: Your voice sounds different than I imagined.
RTH: Yes, well, it probably sounds strange to MissSwann, too. Let’s be off!
RTH attaches a jetpack to MEOW’s back, and they fly off.
MEOW: Miss Swann? But she’s your—
VOICE: –fiancee?
MISS SWANN and SYLLABUB comes flying near them.
MEOW: Miss Swann! Syllabub!
SYLLABUB: Sequoia.
MEOW: Sorry.
RTH: How-how did you get here?
MISS SWANN: I went on the Blog, of course.
RTH: Oh! *facepalm*
MISS SWANN: I saw travel plans. I hadn’t been able to go on in quite some time, so when I saw travel plans but not a word from the GAPAs, I searched your name and found out that you were picking up Cat’s Meow. So I traveled across the country, following you, and found a suitable time to put myself in the picture. So here I am. Where are we going?
RTH: Sierra.
MISS SWANN: Come again?
RTH: Remember Bunny Apocalypse?
MISS SWANN: The most successful RPG in the history of MuseBlog? Yes.
RTH: There was a place in there called Sierra, a base nestled between California, Nevada, and Oregon that was used there. Kittymine suggested it.
MISS SWANN: So I’m guessing we’re meeting Kitty there?
RTH: Along with Sudo, Alice, THF, and Pan.
RTH’s watch beeps.
RTH: What is it now—oh, you gotta be kidding me!
MISS SWANN: What?
RTH: We’re changing direction guys. Southwestward!
They change direction.
SYLLABUB: Where are we going now?
RTH: A chamber below the LA Natural History.
MISS SWANN: Why nothing on the east coast?
RTH: I don’t know; most of the planning went on on the KokonspiracyBlog.
MEOW: Well, let’s get going; we have many miles of flying to do before we sleep.
PWNSOME! Love the randomness.
Zinc, I’m a little more psycho then that. This is our real!selves, right? If so, then I’m likely incredibly short compared to the rest of you (4’6), and
…I want to help you write that.
I also have this cool script idea floating around in my head where all the MBers are kidnapped to an alternate dimension where they can transform into their blog!selves, but I have evil psycho Serafina who takes over my body at random occaisons and I am randomly electrified and tortured by the person who took us into that world; we are also imprisoned in big empty rooms and some of us begin to lose our sanity because we can make things appear out of thin air., and at some point HPBs trap us in Jello. And then we eventually esape but land in the middle of the North Pole and are attacked by polar bears, and someone discovers that we can still change into our blog!selves so we defeat the polar bears, but the world (and our dimension) begins to fall apart because the person who trapped us in the other dimension planted a curse in me, so I go insane and fall into a coma and the world gets absorbed into Subspace because someone screamed stuff about SSBB near me and my subconsichous figured it was a good idea. And I still haven’t figured out the ending yet.
Any volunteers for my story?
68-I’m Noe, Umbra, Espa, Serafina, Samhain, AvalonGirl, ‘Mena, Philomena, Crystl, Avalon, Girl…call me what you want, I’ve taken on enough names I don’t mind, heehee~
78: I’m just using your MS self. It’s fun to write.
And if you too somehow get ahold of one of my emails, I’ll talk to you there.
*eyes widen*
I’m thinking about why Musers are being brought together. I think I’m going to go with GAPAs being kidnapped.
More p*ease?
Yes please!
2000 words! *chairdance*
77- I somehow read the first sentence as ‘MEOW is sitting on the roof’. I went back and re-read it correctly, but it still messed with my perception of the screen majorly.
78- That somehow manages to sound like a really, really, good idea! I’ll be in it! Actually, I’ll be anywhere anyone puts me. I have the feeling that eventually I’ll get put into one of these as a total klutz that keeps saying things wrong and tripping over air. But, I chose my own name, so I can’t complain. (Rhyme! Sorta…)
77-Is this some kind of massive Kokonvention? That would be interesting…
72- So, so far, I’ve been described as “strange person”, “May not look like it but is speedy”, and “waffle”?
…
Yay! I caught Beavo! *is strange waffle* *speeds away* ZING!!!
Zinc? Please put me in! I’ll put in a character named Zinc, who’s a Sorceress in my fanfic.
Yay! Awesome, Zinc! I love all of it. The plot is building….I would love to see this actually performed sometime.
80-Ooh, MuseBlog FanFiction-ish!
84- You are a strange person, SR.
Oh, and Zinc, don’t forget that RQ, SR, and I know each other in real life. MS and Sequoia also somewhat, but not quite so much.
Armada! I wanted to find you! Do you mind being the main MBer in my Star Trek crossover fanfic? I just randomly chose you.
Zinc, do you mind if you’re evil?
Hey, Mr Moon! Where’d you go? I was starting to wonder if you’d been *kidnapped* or *murdered* you were gone so long!
Nope, just on vacation in SF.
86- No, Sudo’s a strange waffle.
Of course not! I’ve never been evil before… *cackle*
I’ll figure out a way to put in you and Errata… *think*
You were evil in the play at camp.
Do you mind if you’re a traitor to MuseBlog?
No, I don’t mind at all. Thanks, in fact! ^^
MS and Sequoia have been best friends for like, ever. Trust me.
Yes, I know. I assumed Zinc knew that also.
I:
a) think this is hilariously awesome and
b) am slightly bewildered by it.
All the same, I love it!
Errata, I’ll put you in mine as a extreme klutz. So far, I’ve got me and you…any volunteers?
My storyscript idea’s in post 78. Volunteers are appreciated and forced.
Me! Me! I wanna be in it!
Me too!
I volunteer! Can you make me go extra-insane?
Ooh, me, me!
-volunteers-
Knew it was only a matter of time… *sigh* Whatever. I don’t really mind.
More, with (a tiny bit of ) help from sister. Gywn is slightly interested in this, and has started drawing it. *hops up and down*
-The neglected elsewhere-
Setting: ZINC and RAINBOW are now quarreling, and ROSEQUARTZ and FISHY are still bickering.
AVALONGIRL: AND NOW WE’RE STANDING DEAD AT A FIVE STAR RESTAURANT!
Crickets.
GROUNDHOG: How the cake did crickets get in here?
FISHY: Door?
ZVX: This place has no real door.
RAINBOW: What?
AVALONGIRL: We’re underneath the LA Natural History Museum.
ZINC: HOLY CRAP! THIS IS SOOOO COOL! I’ve always wanted to go under a museum ever since I watched that movie!
AVALONGIRL: OMG! Me too! I’ve always wanted a pet dinosaur!
ZVX: Pet DINOSAUR! I want one too! It would be sooo totally awesome to smush bunnies underneath a gigantic extinct carnivore! And OMG! Have you seen this new blaster I got at the army surplus store? I comparison shopped just to get it! Speaking of comparison shopping, I got this sweet deal from Libby Lu with this coupon I clipped-
GROUNDHOG: That’s quite enough nonsense, thank you. *pulls a large laser type thing from Fishy’s hands*
FISHY: *Whimpers* Aww…
ZVX: Woah… *disoriented* Where was I?
GROUNDHOG: Fishy here stole one of my more recent inventions, the Girlifier. The reason we’re here is to destroy this thing.
ZINC: Really?
GROUNDHOG: No, but that is one of the reasons.
RTH, MEOW, MISS SWANN, AND SYLLABUB matierialize above ARMADA’s head. She sidesteps just in time as the four come crashing down.
MEOW: Then why are we here?
ZVX: All in good time.
GROUNDHOG: But first, we must communicate with the others.
ROSEQUARTZ: There are more Musers? Where?
SYLLABUB: Sierra.
ZVX: How would you know? You two weren’t on the blog for the longest time, so we thought-
MISS SWANN: *hissing* You thought WRONG, mister.
ZVX: Eep! I’m sorry!
FIREH: Thought ZVX was supposed to be tough.
ZVX: Shut up!
FIREH: *laugh*
The people who know what’s happening fully are Groundhog, ZVX, Pan, THF, and Kittymine. The pick uppers were selected because they were on the blog most of the time. The pick ups hadn’t been on in a while or didn’t come on frequently.
W00T! I got to say something! Awesome!
88-Me too!
I just read a bunch of these posts, and once again i’ve been astounded by how imaginative we MBers are. Pays aren’t what I like to write, but I like to read them. So I’ll just lurk here…
GROUNDHOG: Okay, enough messing around. If we don’t get to the computer room quickly, we’ll miss our available connection time.
The group gets to the computer room. GROUNDHOG sits down at the computer and the others cluster around the screen. GROUNDHOG sets up the network and another lab blinks onto the screen. KITTYMINE, ALICE, THF, FIDDLER, and SUDO are sitting in front of the screen.
KITTYMINE: Hey, sister dearest.
GROUNDHOG: Sorry about the switch up.
KITTYMINE: Nah, it’s okay. Everything’s fine here—
Voices are heard offscreen.
PAN: AAAHHH!!! POSOC, GET ME A STRAITJACKET!!!
POSOC: WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU HAVE A STRAITJACKET!
PAN: HE CHEWED THROUGH IT!
POSOC: WHAT?!!
BEAVO: MY HAIR! MY HAIR! OH, HAIR GODS, I AM SO SORRY I DIDN’T BURN MY DAILY OFFERING OF SPORTS GEL!
PAN: AUUUGGHHH! HE HAS A—
POSOC: OH MY GOD, RUN PAN!
BEAVO: A COMB! HAHA! BE FLAT, HAIR! BE FLAT! YAAA!!!
GROUNDHOG: Everything sounds great.
KITTYMINE: Eh heh…
ALICE: Okay, I just wanna know what’s going on here.
ROSEQUARTZ: Yeah, why did you steal us away from our homes and family?
ZINC: Is this some stupid prank? It’d better not be, because I swear is what happened to brave Sir Robin will pale in comparison if it is.
ZVX: Guys, do you know what day was last week?
SUDO: Um, April Fool’s Day?
ZVX: Bingo!
ZINC: Aha! I KNEW IT! Prepare for a world of pain, you little-
THF: No, Zinc, it isn’t a prank. Otherwise we would’ve done it on that day.
ZINC: Oh.
KITTYMINE: You see, moderation began slowing down and weird things began happening a few days before April Fool’s Day. First Paul’s comments completely disappeared, along with his writing page. Then Roseanne disappeared along with everything to do with her, then Rebbecca, then Robert.
GROUNDHOG: Then, on the big day, absolutely nothing happened on the blog. The blog was the same as always, except that every comment we sent in never got moderated.
THF: The GAPAs had been kidnapped during their preperations for April Fool’s Day. Something they had been doing had… awakened something. Had led something to them, and caused them to be stolen away.
ZVX: One of our first theories is that an online stalker had hurt them or something. But we now believe that unlikely.
GROUNDHOG: The most likely one will be a shock for everyone.
KITTYMINE: We… we think that… it was the bunnies.
ARMADA: What?! But… but bunnies aren’t REAL!
ZVX: That’s what we thought too. But then I found Robert’s personal computer- don’t ask- and one of the last things he had been doing before Paul disappeared was looking up HTML. He found an unknown one. It seemed it turned whatever it was done to into reality. He probably assumed it a joke, and because he trusted this HTML website he was looking at, he tested it out on picuture, which it was for. He HTMLed…
GROUNDHOG: He HTMLed a bunny picture.
A collective gasp emits from the newcomers, along with cries of fear.
The plot thickens! *cackle*
Ok, so I’ve got:
Errata, RoseQuartz, fireandhemlock1996, Enceladus, Armada, Alice and Silver Lining
And since at one point I go insane and get put into a coma, RQ, you’ll be main-ish along with Zinc if she decides to join. And I want Beavo and SudoRandom just for ‘wafflehair’ potential.
My script is sort of more of a movie, so…
THE BLOG VOID
(AUTHOR’S NOTES: DEMI, NOE FROM MA, and MIRA share a voice, AVALONGIRL and NOELANI THE MS share a voice, and SERAFINA and WITCHCATPI have their own voices!
ALSO, all of the author’s characters will have the letters AG after their name.)
SETTING: A small backyard with nothing in it except a large trampoline. MIRA, a young girl about 11 years old, is jumping up and down on it. Suddenly, a bright white flash happens, and when it’s over, the setting has become a completely white and empty room, and instead of MIRA, AVALONGIRL is lying on the floor, clutching the side of her head.
SCENE ONE, IN WHICH ERRATA IS A MAJOR KLUTZ
AVALONGIRL: Ow, my head…how cliché am I? Good thi-
She slowly brings her hands of to her face, staring at herself. Obviously, getting transported to another dimension and being transformed into your character is not an everyday occurrence for her.
AVALONGIRL: …What just happened? I saw that bright flash of light, and now I’m in an alternate dimension and I’m Avalon-
ERRATA tumbles out from a corner of the room which has now transformed into a passageway.
ERRATA: So, the Tyrant brought you here as well? You hide pretty well, Ava-
She gets back up to her feet, takes a step, and falls on her face. ALICE peeks out from behind the corner.
ALICE: Oh, so it’s you, AvalonGirl? I never thought they’d pick up almost all of our set.
AVALONGIRL: …Please call me Noe, it’s much less of a handful. You’re Alice, right?
ERRATA: Yeah, and I’m Errata. RQ’s…
ERRATA takes a moment to think, and finally points at the hallway she came out of.
ERRATA: Thataway! She’s figuring out how this works and what happened a lot better than we are. Do you have any flying characters?
AVALONGIRL: Well, I’ve got WitchCatPI but she doesn’t have wings equipped, so I’ve Umbra, Espa, or Demi. But what do you-ohhh.
AVALONGIRL turns around, and transforms into DEMI.
DEMI ag: Well, are we going that way? I can’t fly for long, so come ON! Fork, direct me!
ALICE sighs.
ALICE: It’s that way. The corridor’s straight, so just keep going, don’t you see?
DEMI ag: I seeeeeeee~!
DEMI ag flies off to the end of the extremely long corridor.
Teehee. Wafflehair.
It’s really good so far! BTW, I’m a klutz too, and have about a trillion characters on every single RPG in existence. Cassie’s my MA one, I also have Julianne, Maia/Kiyarra (ooooo, I want to transform into an evil person! Pweez?), Invisible Girl, Tasha the MS, Gail from RPG Alternative, Angie from Romantic Musical Comedy, Andromeda from RPW ’09… and am probably missing a ton more.
I’ve got Tithea, who’s a bit of an impulsive jerk, Samuel Markand, who’s psycotic, and myself in BA, who’s also a bit of a jerk, but trying to reform. I think I’ll stick with myself. I’m also a bit of a klutz.
I have a thousand too… *deep breath*
Errata on MA. Errata on MAL. Errata on SciFi. (I have a lot of those Erratas.) Cassandra, Arcana, and Solara on Magic. Callista and Errata on BA. Anacae and Aster on MS. Aella on RPW ’09. Ashira on RPG Alternitive.
I think that’s all… That’s much to long a list. Let me think…
Right I want to keep:
Generic Errata.
Callista.
Arcana.
I think that’s all. If you were even intending to write transformations for us lesser characters.
Thanks for the complement.
Which compliment?
I find it interesting that we’re all slightly klutz-ish. I’m not, at least in ‘real life’, but whatever.
Saying “us lesser characters.” I mean, thanks!
Maybe MB attracts klutzs, or klutzs at heart.
Complement means something that completes, as in “the eggs complemented my breakfast”. I believe you mean “Compliment, as in, “The eggs complimented my breakfast”. (Eek! Talking eggs! And they like my breakfast!)
Oh, I don’t have many blog characters. Just myself and Cecily-Ann from the Victorian RPW. And if you want to go way back, there’s Rhoda from the Empowered RPW. But other than that…
Heh… I’m writing a non- MuseBlog script.
The Secret Lives Of Cats
Enceladus
(Setting: All dark, completely black screen. Screen zooms out, and we see that the black is the pupil of a cat. We zoom out on a grey tabby, ZAKARIAH, known to people as Puffles. He is lying on a bed. A distant shaking starts.)
FEMALE VOICE: Puffles! Breakfast time! Come get you food!
(Zakariah leaps up, and runs over to a food dish. He starts eating. We see two big shoes near him)
FEMALE VOICE: (Sweet and sappy voice) Puffy! You’re a good boy! Come over and let me pick you up!
(Puffles continues eating)
FEMALE VOICE: (Still sweet and sappy) Come on! Let me pick you up!
(Puffles, satisfied, walks out of the room. The shoes chase after him.)
FEMALE VOICE: Where’d you go, Puffy? Where are you? He must have gone outside.
(We go up, and see the woman in her entirety. A knock is heard, the woman opens the door, and her son, SAMUEL, is there. He’s 13, with longish brown hair.)
WOMAN: Hi, Sam.
SAM: Hi Mom. Where’s Puffles?
WOMAN: I think he went outside.
(Sam walks away, without a word. We cut to a hole in the ground, with grass surrounding it. Zakariah leaps out of the grass, and falls into the hole. Sam follows him, looking at the ground. )
SAM: Here’s more tracks. They lead to… (He nearly steps into the hole) that hole! (He looks down the hole) Puffles? Are you in there? (He leans over, as if to try and see. Yelling) PUFFLES?! (He nearly falls in. He tries to catch himself. He’s hanging on the edge. He falls)
(We see Sam flying through a dirt pit for a second. It then turns into a chrome tube. For nine more seconds, he’s flying about in the chrome tube as it twists and turns.)
ELSEWHERE (Setting: Futuristic city. We can’t see many inhabitants. Zoom in on tallest building. Zakariah and another cat, EPHALIA, are talking. Ephalia is a long-hair.)
EPHALIA: I trust the proceedings have gone well.
ZAKARIAH: Yes, everything is working perfectly. I’ve escaped, and the humans don’t even expect a thing.
EPHALIA: Have you installed the devices yet?
ZAKARIAH: No. I haven’t had time to be alone. Are your commands ready?
EPHALIA: Almost. With our test subjects, they were killed, sent unconscious. (Licks paws, shakes head)
ZAKARIAH: Such a shame. We will need them, of course, to be alive.
(Scene fades out, with both Zakariah and Ephalia grinning slyly.)
(We see a hole in a wall, chrome again. Sam shoots out, landing on his face. He gets up.)
SAM: Where…
(Camera turns. We hear the noises of a city. It’s the same city as the one Zakariah and Ephalia are in. We see that the population is one of cats.)
SAM: Oh, crap. I don’t think I should have come here. Oh, crap crap crap.
(An alarm suddenly blares)
ALARM: WARNING INTRUSION NON CAT HAS ENTERED THE PREMISES. WARNING INTRUSION NON CAT HAS ENTERED THE PREMISES. (Repeats)
SAM: Yeah, I definitely shouldn’t have come here.
(Sam attempts to escape, but can’t much traction. He’s knocked back by a cat, SILLABUS, gracefully sliding down.)
SILLABUS: Hey, buddy! This tube is one way!
SAM: Sorry!
(They fall out, in a heap. The alarm continues)
SILLABUS: Well, don’t do it again. Hey, wait. You’re not a cat… Oh my god! It’s a human! Ahh! Get it away from me! AAAHHHHHH…..
(Suddenly, a police car arrives. 3 CAT POLICE OFFICERS step out)
OFFICER # 1:(Approaching Sillabus, who’s screaming) Ok, stay calm, I’m only going to sedate you and put you in a cage.(Shoots dart into Sam, Sam faints, Officer puts electronic cage around him.) There now. You’re safe. No humans to attack you.
SILLABUS: (Continues screaming) AHHHHHHHH! (Officer 2 shoots dart into him) AAAHHHhhhhh…….(Sillabus faints)
OFFICER # 3: Take ’em to the police house. We’ll find out why he’s (Motions to Sam) here.
****************************************
Like it?
Errata, of course I’m planning to write transformations!
I need someone so I can write a heavily over-styled Sailor Moon transformation, does anyone -coughEnceladuscough- volunteer for a Sailor Moon transformation?
SCENE TWO, IN WHICH ROSEQUARTZ HAS SUDDENLY BECOME A SCIENTIST AND LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE PROMPTLY ELECTRIFIED
DEMI ag flies towards the end of the hallway and bashes headfirst into a door, flying backwards from the recoil and transforming into ‘MENA ag. ROSEQUARTZ suddenly opens the door, wearing a lab coat and a Kokonspiracy shirt.
‘MENA ag: …You just had to close the door, didn’t you…
ROSEQUARTZ, as way of response, leaps up in the air, turns around, and transforms into TASHA THE MS.
Oooh, I want a Sailor Moon transformation! I love Sailor Moon! Can I do Venus’s?
What’s Sailor Moon?
*ducks pies*
I usually make my evil, psychotic characters look like me. Sorta.
94.2- Sailor Moon is an anime series, one of the first to become really popular in the United States, which features schoolgirls who transform into magical warriors to fight invaders from another dimension.
Sounds interesting. Might have to check that out. I’ve got too many books to read right now though.
RQ, sure-which one, though? Normal, Super, or Eternal? Because you know, I can write you transforming INTO her in a battle…
Hmm. Normal. And if I transformed into one of them in a battle, I’d probably be either Venus or Mars…. they’re my favorites.
And now I shall write my own fanfic script, just to go along with the current trend. I’m assuming you’d like to be in it, right?
(SCENE: a backyard, with a few trees and a swingset in it. There is the edge of a deck over to the right; a bird feeder stands in the center.)
(ROSEQUARTZ is sitting in one of the swings, kicking the ground.)
VOICE from offstage: Hannah! Time for school!
ROSEQUARTZ: (quietly) Oh, meh. (reluctantly, louder) Coming…
(She jumps off of the swing and trudges in the direction of the bird feeder.)
VOICE: Hurry up!
ROSEQUARTZ: Coming!
(ROSEQUARTZ starts walking faster. Suddenly, she trips and falls to the ground.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Ow!
(Getting up, she notices the large crystal she has tripped over and picks it up.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Oh my gosh! A perfect rose quartz crystal! This is so amazing! But what’s it doing here?
VOICE: You’re gonna be late for History!
ROSEQUARTZ: Gah. I hate history. I wish I didn’t have to go to school… and I could just do whatever I wanted…. and have a real adventure for once.
(She picks up the crystal and is about to put it in her pocket when it suddenly starts glowing. She shields her eyes; when she looks again, she is standing on a deserted city street. Everything is suspiciously hot pink. A poster, blowing in the wind, detaches itself from a telephone pole and blows up against her feet.)
ROSEQUARTZ: What the… where the heck am I?
(She notices the poster, picks it up, and reads it aloud.)
ROSEQUARTZ: “The Resistance wants you? Help stop the Bunny Apocalypse?†You can’t mean to tell me that the bunnies are real?
AVALONGIRL: (from offstage) Oh yeah, they’re real all right.
(AVALONGIRL steps out of the shadows and walks up to ROSEQUARTZ.)
ROSEQUARTZ: (staring) Are you… AvalonGirl? But I thought you’d be… uh… shorter in real life. You’re taller than me!
AVALONGIRL: That’s because I amAvalonGirl. We can transform into our blogselves and any of our RPG characters, you know.
ROSEQUARTZ: Really? Just by thinking about them or something?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, no. You have to wish.
ROSEQUARTZ: Wish? You mean… (slowly understanding) Is that how you got here too?
AVALONGIRL: Yup. (holding up a small object) I found this walking home from school yesterday.
ROSEQUARTZ: (looking closer) Is that…
AVALONGIRL: Uh-huh. It’s a mini HPB. I was going to destroy the caking thing, but I forgot that I’d put it in my pocket and wished I didn’t have to do my math homework… I think I put something about fighting bunnies in there too.
ROSEQUARTZ: (sarcastically) Oh, thanks for that. I really had fighting bunnies in mind when I said an adventure.
(ROSEQUARTZ pulls the crystal out of her pocket.)
ROSEQUARTZ: I found this in my backyard this morning when I was trying to avoid going to school. Wished I didn’t have to, and poof! (waving her hand) I’m here. So is anyone else stuck in this… whatever?
AVALONGIRL: Oh yes, there’re a bunch of bloggers here. (hinting) But… uh… most of them are their blogselves or characters by now…
ROSEQUARTZ: Oh. Right. Okay, I wish I could be Kirianne from Sci Fi.
(The crystal in ROSEQUARTZ’s hand starts to glow. Her fingernails paint themselves silver, and tall boots start to appear on her feet.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Um, I said Kirianne, not Sailor Moon… although of course I wouldn’t mind being Sailor Moon.
(Theme music immediately plays.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Uh-oh. I didn’t mean that! Really!
(There is no change. Giggling, AVALONGIRL starts to sing the theme song.)
AVALONGIRL: (singing) Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight…
ROSEQUARTZ: Shut up!
AVALONGIRL: Sailor Mercury… Sailor Mars…
ROSEQUARTZ: Kyaa! Stoppit!
(The swirls around her begin to change.)
ROSEQUARTZ: (in a last attempt to stop the Sailor Scout transformation) KIRIANNE! FROM SCI FI!
AVALONGIRL: Sailor Venus!
ROSEQUARTZ: KIRIANNE!
AVALONGIRL: SAILOR VENUS!
(The light coming from the crystal has become a large glowing ball above ROSEQUARTZ’s head. It appears to be confused.)
ROSEQUARTZ: KIRIANNE! Please!
AVALONGIRL: No! SAILOR VENUS!
(ZINC comes running onstage.)
ZINC: What are you guys arguing about?
ROSEQUARTZ: Kirianne!
AVALONGIRL: Sailor Venus!
ZINC: MISA!
(The glowing ball of light appears to have made up its mind. It swirls around ROSEQUARTZ; when it clears, she has transformed into Misa.)
MISA (RQ): Oh, thanks, guys!
(She claps her hands over her mouth.)
MISA (RQ): I meant that sarcastically! Ugh, my voice is so weird….
(ZINC and AVALONGIRL snicker.)
MISA (RQ): Okay, can I just turn back now? Please?
(There is no response from the crystal.)
ZINC: (snicker) Now all we need is Light!
MISA (RQ): NO! (gasp) IwishIcouldbeKiriannefromSciFiandnooneinterruptmethistime!
Could you put me in? Please?
Sure, Enc! I was going to anyway. Give me a sec, I’ll probably post more soonish.
I want to help write what you’re writing so much but then it wouldn’t be yours and I’m so sorry but I just HAVE to help write it because otherwise I’ll ASPLODE!
…Well, I won’t, but you’re such an amazing writer I feel like asploding.
Haha. Thanks. I mostly started mine because I liked yours so much and wanted to do something similar! *wants Gmail smiley to be on MB because it’s cuter than this one*
Oh, believe me, the Gmail smileys are adorable, I love using the sparkly one.
I want to write your script with you, partly because I don’t know how the jello-trap comes about, and partly because it’s epically awesome.
Sparkly one? Which one is that? It’s not a GmailChat one, is it? Because if it is, I am in disgrace. *GmailChataddict*
Yours is epically awesome too.
…Let me check.
No, I don’t think so, as I don’t use GmailChat-you can find it when you write a normal email. It’s on the tab with the block smileys, and it’s gold sparkles.
But yours is epically awesomer!
Oh, by the way, I’m writing this at 6:20 in the morning. I want my McDonald’s Iced Mocha…
SCENE TWO, IN WHICH ROSEQUARTZ HAS SUDDENLY BECOME A SCIENTIST AND LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE PROMPTLY ELECTRIFIED
DEMI ag flies towards the end of the hallway and bashes headfirst into a door, flying backwards from the recoil and transforming into ‘MENA ag. ROSEQUARTZ suddenly opens the door, wearing a lab coat and a Kokonspiracy shirt.
‘MENA ag: …You just had to close the door, didn’t you…
ROSEQUARTZ, as way of response, leaps up in the air, turns around with a Sailor Venus-esque transformation sequence, and transforms into TASHA wearing a Sailor Venus outfit.
TASHA: You like my transformation sequence? I haven’t perfected that transformation into Sailor Venus quite yet, but I’ve been working on the calculations.
TASHA points back over her shoulder at a large computer-and-machine-blanketed room. Small bottles cover some of the machines. Suddenly, a scream sounds off in the distance.
‘MENA (AG): Don’t tell me-that was someone getting randomly tortured.
TASHA: Actually, yes. That was Enceladus getting himself electruted for my experiment, hopefully the refractive cells will stay on this time so we don’t have to make him do it a third time.
‘MENA (AG) looks horrified for a second, but then grins, rolls her eyes, and transforms into Sailor Mars. TASHA looks incredibly jealous.
TASHA: Hey, that’s-
SAILOR MARS (AG): Perfect? Hey, if you were Sailor Chibimoon-
Pink lightning strikes TASHA, and she is surrounded by pink heart-shaped sparkles. When they clear, she has transformed into Sailor Chibimoon.
SAILOR CHIBIMOON: …You know, Rei-or-whoever-you-are-now, I am so going to kill you…
A short script, by Beavo
Scene: A kitchen, where a woman (MOM) is washing dishes. A teenage boy, her son (JEREMY) walkes into the kitchen.
JEREMY: Mom, have you seen my–
MOM: (Thows a plate, not dry or clean, at JEREMY) DO NOT INTERRUPT ME WHILE I’M WORKING!
JEREMY: (dies of head injury)
MOM: (goes back to washing dishes)
Fin.
I love it. So much depth and insight. Would you honor me by letting me perform in it?
I wanna be the plate!
Ahh, the dysfunctional family.
More! Enc, you’re in this segment; sorry, SR, I’m just about to put you in.
MISA (RQ): NO! (gasp) IwishIcouldbeKiriannefromSciFiandnooneinterruptmethistime!
(The crystal glows again, and when it’s stopped KIRIANNE is standing where ROSEQUARTZ used to be.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Finally. Now. Where are these bunnies we’re fighting?
ZINC: Come on, I’ll show you where the base is.
(ZINC leads KIRIANNE to an abandoned-looking building.)
ZINC: We’re here! (knocks on the door) New recruit!
ENCELADUS: (from behind the door) Who is it?
KIRIANNE (RQ): It’s RQ… Kirianne, really, I guess, since my real self isn’t exactly the greatest bunny fighter.
(The door swings open, and ENCELADUS ushers them in.)
SCENE TWO
(SCENE: an abandoned warehouse, with a few dusty crates lying around.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Uh…. It looks uninhabited to me…
ZINC: Oh, no, it isn’t. Enc, would you like to do the honors?
ENCELADUS: Sure.
(ENCELADUS snaps his fingers twice, and a futuristic-looking remote with one button on it shoots down from the ceiling. He takes it out of the air and motions the others into a certain spot.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Uhh, why exactly do we have to stand here? And why exactly do we have to stand so close together? Someone’s lightsaber is poking me.
(She claps her hands over her mouth, realizing what she’s just said.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I guess I’m getting used to this faster than I thought I would!
ZINC: Yeah, it’s really quite easy. Just don’t think about what you could actually do with your talisman, and you’re good.
KIRIANNE (RQ) and AVALONGIRL: (in unison) Too late.
ZINC: Yeah, I know. Have you guys actually done any of the stuff you wanted to? I haven’t. It’s extremely tempting, but I haven’t.
KIRIANNE (RQ): How long have you been here?
ZINC: A day. I found my talisman yesterday morning, outside the school. I tripped over it…
KIRIANNE (RQ): Me too. I found mine this morning in my backyard.
AVALONGIRL: I haven’t done anything either, but I was planning to… oh, and for once I didn’t trip over mine. I found it on the sidewalk. So ha. (crosses her arms)
ENCELADUS: Are you done chatting? Can I take us down now?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Why can’t we chat while we, uh, go down?
ZINC: Oh, you’ll see, believe me…
(ENCELADUS pushes the button, and the section of floor disappears. RQ’s scream is heard.)
SFTDP….
SCENE THREE
(SCENE: the Resistance base. A large central area with a bunch of catwalks on different levels; there are doors along some of them, others overlook different training areas.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): …Wow.
AVALONGIRL: …Yeah. It’s a little overwhelming at first, huh? Well, it still is, but it’s mostly when you first get here.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Can we do that again?
ZINC: Fun, huh? Most people freak out on that thing.
(SUDORANDOM and ARMADA are seen running towards AVALONGIRL, KIRIANNE, ZINC and ENCELADUS.)
ARMADA: RQ! Hi!
SUDORANDOM: Hi!
KIRIANNE (RQ): You guys recognized me? Wow. I don’t look a thing like I do in real life, if my character transformation was right…
ARMADA: I recognized your character. Besides, who else would have a rose quartz crystal sticking out of her pocket?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Very true. (turning to SUDORANDOM) You haven’t said much…
SUDORANDOM: (chanting) RQ likes I-Man, RQ likes I-Man… that better?
KIRIANNE (RQ): (rolling her eyes) No. Not really. Thanks anyway.
SUDORANDOM: You’re welcome! (turns to Zinc) Hi, Zinc! Is there anyone else coming that I know?
ZINC: I think MissSwann and Sequoia are due to show up pretty soon, yes.
ARMADA: Ooh. Yay. More people we Kokonvened with!
KIRIANNE (RQ): (suddenly dawning on her) Sudo…
SUDORANDOM: Yeeeees?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Is I-Man here? Did he hearyou? Because if he did, I will….
SUDORANDOM: (cutting her off) No, I haven’t seen him. D’you think I would have said that if I had?
(ARMADA and KIRIANNE look at each other. At nearly the same time…)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yes.
ARMADA: Yes.
SUDORANDOM: Besides, he knows it’s not true… remember Quotations?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Oh. Yes. Phew. That would have been embarrassing…
ENCELADUS: (breaking in) So! Do you want to see the rest of the base?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Sure!
What? Chanting?
Come on, Rq, I know you know I’m better than that!
Other than that, great script.
SR, you HAVE done that. I speak from experience here.
Yes. You have, SR.
But look- If you tell me I haven’t said anything, I basically would start talking and wouldn’t stop for a few scenes.
Is there anyone highly emotional who would be yelling and crying, insisting a point? Because I don’t want to use myself.
Oh! Mememememe…well, I’m not like that, but it sounds fun.
I am majorly that way. I can throw a fit insisting that I hadn’t hiccuped when it was quite obvious I had, so you can guess what happens when i actually believe what I’m saying.
This is also right after the latest installment of my script.
What is? I want more!
The throwing a fit thing. It’s serious. En has to be traumatized and in shock.
I could manage that.
I could.
I would! I would! I’m extremely dramatic and will probably over-emphasize things… and if something traumatizes me, I will almost definitely start screaming and crying and throwing stuff and…. yeah.
That makes -what-, four people offering to be dramatic adn throw a fit? haha
OH! MEMEMEMEMEMEME! Because I’m over-the-top and will likely get traumatized somehow in each story.
Hey, in mine, I go insane, fall into a coma, and get electrified…and get trapped in jello, so I’m a good candidate.
104- I might.
More! (Lots more.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Sure!
(All of them walk over to a glass elevator, and ZINC pushes the up button. The doors promptly open and they get in.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Squee! I love glass elevators!
(SUDORANDOM smacks the lower half of the glowing buttons.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): “Let’s short out the electricity!†Teehee. Let me help you with that. (smacks top buttons)
AVALONGIRL, ZINC, ENCELADUS: What? I thought I was the craziest person here!
AVALONGIRL: Jinx!
SUDORANDOM: Jinx, jinx, you owe me a soda, jinx, j— mmph!
(ARMADA and KIRIANNE clap their hands over his mouth.)
ZINC: Is he always this annoying?
(one after the other, very quickly)
ARMADA: Yes.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yes.
SUDORANDOM: (muffled) Hey!
ZINC: Ah, don’t worry, that’s a compliment.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Zinc, you know he’s always this annoying. You’ve talked to him.
ZINC: Yeah, and he wasn’t this annoying! Must be your influence, RQ.
SUDORANDOM: (struggling free) See, RQ? Zinc agrees with me!
ZINC: (continuing as if SUDORANDOM has never said anything) I mean, the only time I remember him being annoying is that one time when we were discussing Death Note…
SUDORANDOM: That was for your own good! You two are complete addicts!
ZINC, KIRIANNE (RQ): (in unison) We know.
SUDORANDOM: Jin—
(This time ZINC joins them in making him be quiet.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): So, how awful did I look as Misamisa, anyway? Manga transformations must be kinda hard.
ZINC: Actually, you looked just like her.
KIRIANNE (RQ): You were kidding about Light, riiiight?
AVALONGIRL: Hey, that—
KIRIANNE (RQ): I KNOW! Zinc?
ZINC: Yeah, pretty much. If I were going to conjure up some character from Death Note, it’d be L. Or Mello. Or Matt.
KIRIANNE (RQ): L! Not Mello! PleasenotMello!
ZINC: Why don’t you like Mello, anyway?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Because—
SUDORANDOM: SHUT UP! Please! Before I go insane!
ARMADA: Ooh, SR’s gonna go insane? I want to see this. (to KIRIANNE and ZINC) I’d choose L, definitely. Although, would that work? Since…
ZINC, KIRIANNE (RQ): (in unison) Shhh! You’ll spoil it for SudoRandom!
SUDORANDOM: Not you too, Armada!
(KIRIANNE, ZINC and ARMADA look at each other, then put their hands in the pockets that hold their talismans,)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I wish…
ZINC: (laughing a little) I wish L…
ARMADA: Was…
SUDORANDOM: Noooooo!
(long pause)
SUDORANDOM: Oh good, nothing happened.
ZINC: This elevator’s too crowded already. Whaddya think would happen if we stuck someone else in it?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yeah, we’re saving your torture for later, SR.
ARMADA: (laughing) I’m just picturing SR’s face if we actually did this…
ZINC: Wait, I thought we were planning to.
SUDORANDOM: NO! PLEASE!
ENCELADUS: (calmly) The elevator has now stopped at every single floor and no one has gotten out. So I’m assuming the tour is off. Wanna go train? This is the stop, if you do…
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yeah, sure! I wanna shoot some bunnies!
AVALONGIRL: Me too! Lead the way, Ladus!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Have you been here before?
AVALONGIRL: Nah, not this one. I’ve been to a couple of other ones, though. Come on, I want out of this elevator!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Meh, it’s not that bad.
(They walk down the catwalk that the elevator door has opened onto.)
SCENE 4
(SCENE: a platform with no railing, overlooking… nothingness. A dead-eyed bunny robot waits to be activated.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Ooh, this’ll be fun! Where’s my blaster?
ARMADA: Right over here. (motions at a bin sitting on the edge)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Goody!
(She runs fearlessly over to the bin and grabs a blaster.)
AVALONGIRL: (picking up a lightsaber) …You aren’t afraid of anything, are you.
(She turns on the lightsaber and starts waving it around, practicing stances.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Aaaah! (jumps away) Don’t get that thing near me! I seem to have developed a phobia of lightsabers. Waaaa! (ducks)
AVALONGIRL: You serious? You’re gonna need to be able to fight with one of these!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Oh, god no. I could never do that. (ducks and twists away) Ack! Gettitawayfrommeeeee!
AVALONGIRL: So… are you scared of these because they’re sharp and pointy and could cut your head off? On the one hand I don’t blame you, but on the other…. That doesn’t sound like you, RQ.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Meh, it has nothing to do with that. If you gave me a regular sword I’d be fine.
ARMADA: So what is the problem?
KIRIANNE (RQ): It could burn me! Kyaa! (flattens to the ground)
AVALONGIRL: (turning off the lightsaber) Uh, Ladus? I think we have a problem.
ENCELADUS: You’re telling me…
SUDORANDOM: I suppose we could just keep her away from all lightsabers….
ZINC: That wouldn’t work. What would she do in a battle?
ARMADA: …Duck?
AVALONGIRL: (laughs)
SUDORANDOM: “Goddag, and!â€
ARMADA: (laughs)
(MISSSWANN and SEQUOIA come running down the catwalk, panting, with FIREH trailing them.)
MISSSWANN: Did someone say “Goddag, and?â€
SEQUOIA: SudoRandom? (pause) Armada? RQ? (pointing at the correct people)
ARMADA: Nice! Yup, you got it right.
SUDORANDOM: We’re just trying to figure out how to cure RQ’s crippling fear of lightsabers.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Maybe if I transformed into someone who’s good with a lightsaber? Would that help?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, like you’ve had great experiences with THAT, RQ.
(MISSSWANN, FIREH and SEQUOIA look confused.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I was Misafied. Zinc’s fault.
FIREH: Fireh was Misafied too!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Did you, by any chance, turn into her?
FIREH: You DID? Woah.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yup. I was almost…. (counting on fingers) Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus, too.
FIREH: Uh, what?
(FIREH, SEQUOIA and MISSSWANN stare at KIRIANNE.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Noe’s fault.
FIREH: Oh… I see. I think.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Hey, at least you’re un-Misafied….
FIREH: Oh yeah! I am, aren’t I.
KIRIANNE (RQ): How bad was it?
FIREH: All day yesterday….
Oh, and RQ, my script is now terrifically twisted because it’s now parodying your script…partly because of random stuff. But the jello is IN this scene.
—————————————————————–
SCENE THREE, IN WHICH A CRAZY JELLO FLOOD COVERS THE ROOM AND FEELS LIKE A BLANKET
(ENCELADUS comes staggering in, looking completely frazzled. He looks at SAILOR CHIBIMOON, rolls his eyes, screams the words ‘THE JELLO IS COMING!’ and collapses. SAILOR CHIBIMOON jumps up in the air, turns around, transforms into KIRIANNE and looks extremely worried.)
KIRIANNE: Ohmygoshohmygosh! Here’s a hoverboard-I’ll take Enceladus.
‘MENA (AG): This isn’t a joke, is it?
(Two hoverboards promptly appear in front of KIRIANNE. She gets on one and puts ENCELADUS behind herself.)
‘MENA (AG): No, I guess it’s not.
(‘MENA is about to get onto the hoverboard, but transforms into AVALONGIRL first. She then gets on and is about to escape the room, but a crazy flood of lime-green Jello enters the room from the door ENCELADUS entered from. AVALONGIRL stares at it in mesmerization and falls off her hoverboard.)
KIRIANNE: UMBRAMEW!
(She dives down on her hoverboard, but her and ENCELADUS fall off into the Jello.
AVALONGIRL is attempting to sit up, but the Jello forces her back down onto her back and covers her mouth. She soon disappears under it like everyone else (KIRIANNE, FIREH, ENCELADUS, ARMADA, ALICE and SILVER LINING.))
————————————————————-
It would be cool if this Me got taken into another script so there were two of Me in someone else’s script.
OKAY. Some questions. First off, I need at least one pairing romance. *fangirloverload* *Zinc’sfault* Who volunteers? Before you say anything, SR: No. Not mexI-Man (which you probably weren’t going to say anyway) or Armadaxelectros. Think of something different.
Also, people who are already characters: who do you want to transform into? It can be anyone from any of the RPGs, a TV show, a movie, a book, a manga, an anime….
And anyone else want to be a character?
I would like to be in a relationship; that would be hilarious.
Deciding the RPG character is difficult…. Prak is devious and brilliant, but Xavier has a connection with technology, and is very noble. There’s also Walter, the amazing pyromaniac!
Wait…. Edward!? Wouldn’t that be the funniest thing? You could probably make some scene involving me joking around, not believing in the whole thing, and then I wish to be Edward, and I don’t get a chance to turn back… Oh, sorry. I wouldn’t want to write your script, but I think I want to be Edward, for comedy’s sake.
Heh. *pounces* Youxme?
I’d be paired for romance. That would be fun.
YouxZinc, then, if Zinc doesn’t mind.
I don’t mind. Much. No stupid fangirl on him, though. Notthing pathetic.
w00t! I fangirled you! *yesss*
Why did I know you’d say something like that? (to SR) I told you so!
Ooh, me too!
Well, don’t have to, I’m just saying you can…
Okay, how about youxEnc? Enc, do you mind? The whole Data thing could add an…. interesting aspect.
Oh, that would be sick! I’d have to be Data with his emotion chip, which comes in after the first TNG movie. I’ll just leave it off most of the time. Or I-man could transform into Geordi LaForge and put it in for me!
If I-Man wants to be in it, that is. I-Man?
Ooh, how about mexEnc? That would be interesting. lol!
Or you could fight over me!
I volunteer to be paired with anyone. Like, really anyone. As for transformations….I don’t care, really. Someone from Death Note? One of my BA or SF characters? Someone from HP? I don’t know. Make me someone evil, if you have to. That would be interesting.
It looks like it’s you and me. Have you read the romantic musical comedy? Do you know what Edward’s like!? If not, then you’re in for a treat… *grin*
I wanna turn into Lieutenant Data!
That’s ironic, because Data spent most of his Star Trek series wanting to turn into someone like you.
Okay, Enc, I will turn you into Data. I can’t say much for the quality of the writing, though, since Data will be a bit hard….
Basically me with no emotions, and always use nine words when you can use two. And, not understanding human culture much.
…Okay, I think I can do that. Maybe.
I’m already a character, so I know references that nobody else knows. There’s Niche from Tegami Bachi (EPIC. CHARACTER.), Sakura from Naruto Shippuden, and at some point I hope I transform into a Pikachu (by accident) and then the fanhybrid Mewbreon or Umbramew (Pokemon).
Ultimo from ULTIMO would be interesting as well, even though he’s a male robot.
Hmmm…what else do I like?
A Redwall character would be funny, and accidently transforming into another person (Kirianne, for example)
I haven’t read/seen Naruto, but I know enough about Sakura to write you transforming into her. What would you/she prefer to be called in that form (i.e. -chan, -sama, etc.)?
Sakura-sama, Sakura-chan, Sakura-kun, or just plain Sakura.
Oh, Niche (I think we should help write and re-write each other’s stories) is epic, so I’ll do that and several accidental transformations into Pokemon, other peoples’ characters, and the like.
*butts in obnoxiously*
kun is only used for males fyi
“Although kun is generally used for boys, that isn’t a hard rule. For example, in business settings, young female employees may also be addressed as kun by older males of senior status.”
Ha ha. Call me anything.
oh there are obv exceptions, I’m just saying to me it sounds odd. i’m just being a jerk about it
Oooh, can I be in it? As, uh… Delta V from the Superheros RPG.
Okay, I’ll put you in too.
Thank you!
RQ-Hopefully I’ll get paired off, but I don’t care-I’m 11, and know really nothing of romance and all that stuff, so heckyeahIdon’tcare.
(P.S.: I was gonna say youxI-Man!)
Kyaa! *transforms into Sailor Moon* Moon Healing Activation! *waves Crescent Moon Wand* There. Fixed your messed-up mind. You must have been taken over by one of the Negaforce’s demons.
I was going to do a pairing for you, but there aren’t currently any characters around your age… maybe there will be at some point.
If you wanted to be really annoying, you could do mexI-Man in your script. But he isn’t even in yours. Or mine. So ha.
Can I have a pairing in yours that is NOT with a-certain-person?
Haha~”a-certain-person” lol.
Hey, I’d like to be a charecter! (If that’s ok).
Okay. I shall write Fishy in as Edward (yes, Fishy, I’ll take your suggestion) and ArmadaxEdward. peary will be a character as well; anyone else?
(By the way… *ahem* I am planning to write L in at some point. DON’T THROW THAT, SR!)
Someone could have a crush on L. That would be funny.
My French Horn Friend reads Death Note, and is also pretty obsessed with anime and manga. She once ran into band shrieking her head off because she ordered a graphic novel from Amazon, and it came a month before it was published in English. And it came in English.
OOHYES! I hadn’t thought of that! Any volunteers? (Besides me, that is. )
Whoops, nevermind. Already got something.
Me and MissSwann are going to fight over him. XD (And Zinc too, of course, if she wishes.)
Hey, could I be in it?
Sorry that I haven’t been around you guys. School just started and I’m already swamped.
Sure you can!
Thanks!
*feels like an official blog member*
FIREH: All day yesterday….
KIRIANNE (RQ): Ooh, yikes.
(The others start arguing about how to cure RQ’s phobia in the background.)
FIREH: Yeah, I know. Fireh’s…. I mean, my sister is a Death Note addict.
KIRIANNE (RQ): I am too! And so is Zinc!
ZINC: (turning from the others) Did someone call me?
KIRANNE (RQ): Not exactly, but now that I have your attention…. I wish I could be Celeste from BA!
ZINC: Uh, are you sure that’s a good…
(The light clears, and KIRIANNE has transformed into CELESTE.)
ZINC: Idea…. (sigh)
CELESTE (RQ): Now, let’s see if I can handle that lightsaber. (picking it up) Here goes… (turning it on) Wow, I’m actually not scared of it! (waves it around experimentally) Awesome! (flicks it off) Whoa. (turns into MAIA)
MAIA (RQ): Where am I? What’s going on?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, cake, she’s turned into Maia…
MAIA (RQ): What do you mean? Wasn’t I always Maia?
ZINC: I TOLD you that wasn’t a good idea?
MAIA (RQ): What wasn’t?
ZINC: Never mind. Say this for me, OK? “I wish I could be Julianne from BA.â€
MAIA (RQ): Whyy— (turns into KIYARRA)
KIYARRA (RQ): Why should I say that?
AVALONGIRL: Uh-oh. Do you see that glint in her eyes?
KIYARRA (RQ): What… glint?
ZINC: You’re right. Cake.
(KIYARRA suddenly turns back into MAIA.)
MAIA (RQ): What just happened?
ZINC: Nothing, just say what I told you to say! Please!
MAIA (RQ): Okay…. I wish I could be Julianne from BA… aah!
(MAIA transforms into JULIANNE.)
JULIANNE (RQ): Ah. That’s better. Thanks, Zinc.
Can you do mexEnc? I want to see what would happen!
She’s already writing in Jjetplane-girlw/catsxme, but you can fight over me! That would be unlike the real world in every way. (But RQ should put it in anyway.) Remember, I turn into Data, a feelingness android at one point, so I’ll be immensely confused, or just ignore you.
Someone destroyed an Alter Ego!
Oops! Please don’t look to find where that’s from.
Gyaaa. My script is coming along slowly. I’ll try harder. *furiously writes*
The smallest bit more. I’m sorry; school is draining.
RAINBOW: How could he do that?!
SUDO: Oh god, we’re doomed!
GROUNDHOG: Yes, it’s all true.
ZINC: This- this is crazy, I must be dreaming, yeah, just wake up now, Hannah, wake-
ZVX: RoseQuartz, please–
ROSEQUARTZ: My name is HANNAH! Get it RIGHT!!
ZVX: RoseQuartz, we can’t go by our real names anymore.
ROSEQUARTZ: I don’t CARE! HANNAH IS MY NAME!
ZVX: Armada, can you please calm her down?
ARMADA leads a sobbing ROSEQUARTZ away, and the conversation continues.
GROUNDHOG: So now all we need to do is find the bunnies, exterminate them, and get the GAPAs back. Which will not be as easy as it sounds. Bunnies breed quickly, and if we dally too long, we’ll have no chance.
Crap. The ZINC in there should be a ROSEQUARTZ.
Only for scripts, or also for other examples of literature? I’ve got two short stories that need feedback for editing, but I don’t know if I could post them here… As you know, I don’t shy away from profanity, and it is a quite effective literary tool. Anywhere I could post them, perhaps censored?
Books in Progress is a good place for that.
The Books In Progress thread is for the purpose of Short Stories, and Novels. For the profanity, yes, it’s a good literary tool, but you can bleep it out. If you don’t the GAPAs will just do it for you. There are some people on this blog who are younger than I expected.
I’m writing a script, not about MuseBlog though. It’s pretty lame so far. I might post it for critiques, I might not. I-oh dangit I’ll just go ahead and post an exerpt. Or not. WHo wants to read it?
I do!
Ok, Enc. I’ll post what I’ve got so far. Well, not what I’ve got so far. The first part. Oh nevermind, I can’t. Wait… I know how to do it now. Maybe by tomorrow I’ll figure it out. You see, I’ve got two different accounts, one for my school work, on which I am writing the script, and this account on which I can do MB etc. And I can’t get to the files on one account from the other. Argh! I’ll figure this out eventually.
I might as well… I’ll write an MB fanfic script. Anybody can help me when I have writers’ block.
BETWEEN THE SCREEN AND COMPUTER
Setting: 12-year old boy, dark brown hair, is sitting, sleeping at a computer. We catch a glimpse of the computer screen, as the camera zooms in and turns. It says “MuseBlog”. He slumps forward. His face hits the computer screen. The computer screen dissappears. It then melts into the screen, sucking him in. An unfortunate cat, ROBIN, is sucked in as well. The computer is slowly pulled in as well. We see the 12-year old boy transform, become slightly taller, and older, now ENCELADUS. The cat lands on him, and begins licking it’s paws.
ENCELADUS: Uhhhh…. Where am I? (Stands up. Robin falls to the ground. Picks up Robin. Looks behind himself) Ok, I know where I am.
(Camera turns. We see that a big building is there, and the bulding is decorated in yellow, lime green, blue, and white. It says “MuseBlog”. Enceladus walks over towards it. We see two people running over to meet him. Both are girls, ARMADA and KAIYVES.)
ARMADA: Hey! You’re Enceladus, right?
ENCELADUS: (Slowly) Yeah… Where are we? You’re Armada, right?
KAIYVES: Yes, she’s Armada. I’m KaiYves. As for where we are… neither of us can explain it either.
Oh! Awesome! Can I be in it? *puppy dog face*
(No one’s posting, so I’ll just continue.)
KAIYVES: We both were sucked into our computers, and we wound up here. Who’s that? (Motions at Robin.)
ENCELADUS: Oh, that’s Robin. Have either of you been inside?
ARMADA: No. We were about to when you suddenly fell from the sky.
ENCELADUS: Then, let’s go!
(They all walk into MuseBlog. There, they find more people, standing around, looking confused. POSOC, KITTYMINE, ZINC, and SUDORANDOM are there, with many others. FIREANDHEMLOCk (FIREH) walks over.)
FIREH: You were sucked in too? I think all the MBers got sucked in.
(Four figures materialize, looking flustered. They are COONTZ, LASELY, SPECTOR, and BAKER. Coontz begins to talk.))
COONTZ: May I have your attention please! (Everyone turns over to look.) We’re sorry we all brought you here so quickly. There’s something that needs to be done. (KITTYMINE suddenly shouts out.)
KITTYMINE: Why’d you bring us here? Where are we?
COONTZ: You’re on MuseBlog. Anybody who visit the main page right now will see you standing on the front page.
Me too! Me too!
Ladus-you can use me because I’m awesome. At that point, I’d say something among the lines of:
“Yeah, but could they see us moving? I didn’t know MB had motion capture tech! Anyway, are there any bun-” *Zinc promptly covers AG’s mouth*
(SCENE: a backyard, with a few trees and a swingset in it. There is the edge of a deck over to the right; a bird feeder stands in the center.)
(ROSEQUARTZ is sitting in one of the swings, kicking the ground.)
VOICE from offstage: Hannah! Time for school!
ROSEQUARTZ: (quietly) Oh, meh. (reluctantly, louder) Coming…
(She jumps off of the swing and trudges in the direction of the bird feeder.)
VOICE: Hurry up!
ROSEQUARTZ: Coming!
(ROSEQUARTZ starts walking faster. Suddenly, she trips and falls to the ground.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Ow!
(Getting up, she notices the large crystal she has tripped over and picks it up.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Oh my gosh! A perfect rose quartz crystal! This is so amazing! But…what’s it doing here?
VOICE: You’re gonna be late for History!
ROSEQUARTZ: Gah. I hate history. I wish I didn’t have to go to school… and I could just do whatever I wanted…. and have a real adventure for once.
(She picks up the crystal and is about to put it in her pocket when it suddenly starts glowing. She shields her eyes; when she looks again, she is standing on a deserted city street. Everything is suspiciously hot pink. A dark green poster, blowing in the wind, detaches itself from a hot pink telephone pole and blows up against her feet.)
ROSEQUARTZ: What the… where the heck am I?
(She notices the poster, picks it up, and reads it aloud.)
ROSEQUARTZ: “The Resistance wants you? Help stop the Bunny Apocalypse?†You can’t mean to tell me that the bunnies are real?
AVALONGIRL: (from offstage) Oh yeah, they’re real all right.
(AVALONGIRL steps out of the shadows and walks up to ROSEQUARTZ.)
ROSEQUARTZ: (staring) Are you… AvalonGirl? But I thought you’d be… uh… shorter in real life. You’re taller than me!
AVALONGIRL: That’s because I am AvalonGirl, duh. We can transform into our blogselves and any of our RPG characters here, you know.
ROSEQUARTZ: Really? Just by thinking about them or something?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, no. You have to wish.
ROSEQUARTZ: Wish? You mean… (slowly understanding) Is that how you got here too?
AVALONGIRL: Yup. (holding up a small object) I found this walking home from school yesterday.
ROSEQUARTZ: (looking closer) Is that…
AVALONGIRL: Yeah. It’s a mini HPB. I was going to destroy the caking thing, but I forgot that I’d put it in my pocket and wished I didn’t have to do my evil math homework… I think I put something about fighting bunnies in there too….hey, what can I say? I get bored.
ROSEQUARTZ: (sarcastically) Oh, thanks for that. I really had fighting bunnies in mind when I said an adventure.
(ROSEQUARTZ pulls the crystal out of her pocket.)
ROSEQUARTZ: I found this in my backyard this morning when I was trying to avoid going to school. Wished I didn’t have to, and poof! (waving her hand) I’m here. So is anyone else stuck in this… whatever?
AVALONGIRL: Oh yes, there’re a bunch of bloggers here. (hinting) But… uh… most of them are their blogselves or characters by now…
ROSEQUARTZ: Oh. Right. Okay, I wish I could be Kirianne from Sci Fi.
(The crystal in ROSEQUARTZ’s hand starts to glow, her fingernails paint themselves silver, and tall boots appear on her feet.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Um, I said Kirianne, not Sailor Moon…although of course I really wouldn’t mind being Sailor Moon. It’d be nice.
(Theme music immediately plays.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Uh-oh. I didn’t mean that! Really!
(There is no change. Giggling, AVALONGIRL starts to sing the theme song with the actual vocals in the background. A lyric book appears in her hand.)
AVALONGIRL: (singing) Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight…
ROSEQUARTZ: Shut up!
AVALONGIRL: Sailor Venus…Sailor Mercury… Sailor Mars…Sailor Jupiter…
ROSEQUARTZ: Kyaa! Stoppit!
(The swirls around her begin to change.)
ROSEQUARTZ: (in a last attempt to stop the Sailor Scout transformation) KIRIANNE! FROM SCI FI!
AVALONGIRL: SAILOR VENUS!
ROSEQUARTZ: KIRIANNE!
AVALONGIRL: SAILOR VENUS!
(The light coming from the crystal has become a large glowing ball about the size of a grapefruit above ROSEQUARTZ’s head. It appears to be confused.)
ROSEQUARTZ: KIRIANNE! Please!
AVALONGIRL: No! SAILOR VENUS!
(ZINC comes running onstage.)
ZINC: What are you guys arguing about?
ROSEQUARTZ: Kirianne!
AVALONGIRL: Sailor Venus!
ZINC: MISA!
(The glowing ball of light appears to have made up its mind. It swirls around ROSEQUARTZ; when it clears, she has transformed into Misa.)
MISA (RQ): Oh, thanks, guys!
(She claps her hands over her mouth.)
MISA (RQ): I meant that sarcastically! Ugh, my voice is so weird….
(ZINC and AVALONGIRL snicker loudly.)
AVALONGIRL: Hey, I know practically nothing about Death Note, but this is still hilarious!
MISA (RQ): Okay, can I just turn back now? Please?
(There is no response from the crystal.)
ZINC: (snicker) Now all we need is Light!
MISA (RQ): NO! (gasps ) IwishIcouldbeKiriannefromSciFiandnooneinterruptmethistime! (The crystal glows again, and when it’s stopped KIRIANNE is standing where ROSEQUARTZ used to be.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Finally. Now. Where are these bunnies we’re fighting?
ZINC: Come on, I’ll show you where the base is.
(ZINC leads KIRIANNE to an abandoned-looking building.)
ZINC: We’re here! (knocks on the door) New recruit!
ENCELADUS: (from behind the door) Who is it?
KIRIANNE (RQ): It’s RQ… Kirianne, really, I guess, since my real self isn’t exactly the greatest bunny fighter.
(The door swings open, and ENCELADUS ushers them in.)
SCENE TWO
(SCENE: an abandoned warehouse, with a few dusty crates lying around.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Uh…. It looks uninhabited to me…
ZINC: Oh, no, it isn’t. Enc, would you like to do the honors?
ENCELADUS: Sure.
(ENCELADUS snaps his fingers twice, and a futuristic-looking remote with one button on it shoots down from the ceiling. He takes it out of the air and motions the others into a certain spot.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Uhh, why exactly do we have to stand here? And why exactly do we have to stand so close together? Someone’s lightsaber is poking me.
(She claps her hands over her mouth, realizing what she’s just said.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I guess I’m getting used to this faster than I thought I would!
ZINC: Yeah, it’s really quite easy. Just don’t think about what you could actually do with your talisman, and you’re good.
KIRIANNE (RQ) and AVALONGIRL: (in unison, AVALONGIRL laughs) Too late.
ZINC: Yeah, I know. Have you guys actually done any of the stuff you wanted to? I haven’t. It’s extremely tempting, but I haven’t.
KIRIANNE (RQ): How long have you been here?
ZINC: A day. I found my talisman yesterday morning, outside the school. I tripped over it…
KIRIANNE (RQ): Me too. I found mine this morning in my backyard.
AVALONGIRL: I haven’t done anything either, but I was planning to and I still will… oh, and for once I didn’t trip over mine. I found it on the sidewalk. So ha. (crosses her arms)
ENCELADUS: Are you done chatting? Can I take us down now?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Why can’t we chat while we, uh, go down?
ZINC: Oh, you’ll see, believe me…
(ENCELADUS pushes the button, and the section of floor the quartet is standing on disappears. RQ’s drawn-out scream is heard.) SCENE THREE
(SCENE: the Resistance base. A large central area with a bunch of catwalks on different levels; there are doors along some of them, others overlook different training areas.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): …Wow.
AVALONGIRL: …Yeah. It’s a little overwhelming at first, huh? Well, it still is, but it’s more overwhelming when you first get here.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Can we do that again?
ZINC: Fun, huh? Most people freak out on that thing.
AVALONGIRL: Don’t remind me-I almost fainted. It reminded me of the Tower of Terror. I don’t like the Tower of Terror… (grabs onto ENCELADUS for support, as he’s closest to her)
(SUDORANDOM and ARMADA are seen running towards AVALONGIRL, KIRIANNE, ZINC and ENCELADUS.)
ARMADA: RQ! Hi!
SUDORANDOM: Hi!
KIRIANNE (RQ): You guys recognized me? Wow. I don’t look a thing like I do in real life, if my character transformation was right…
ARMADA: I recognized your character. Besides, who else would have a rose quartz crystal sticking out of her pocket?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Very true. (turning to SUDORANDOM) You haven’t said much…
SUDORANDOM: (chanting) RQ likes I-Man, RQ likes I-Man…that better?
KIRIANNE (RQ): (rolling her eyes) No. Not really. Thanks anyway.
SUDORANDOM: You’re welcome! (turns to Zinc) Hi, Zinc! Is there anyone else coming that I know?
ZINC: I think MissSwann and Sequoia are due to show up pretty soon, yes.
ARMADA: Ooh. Yay. More people we Kokonvened with!
KIRIANNE (RQ): (suddenly dawning on her) Sudo…
SUDORANDOM: Yeeeees?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Is I-Man here? Did he hear you? Because if he did, I will….
SUDORANDOM: (cutting her off) No, I haven’t seen him. D’you think I would have said that if I had?
(ARMADA and KIRIANNE look at each other. At nearly the same time…)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yes.
ARMADA: Yes.
SUDORANDOM: Besides, he knows it’s not true…remember Quotations?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Oh. Yes. Phew. That would have been embarrassing…
ENCELADUS: (breaking in) So! Do you want to see the rest of the base?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Sure!
(All of them walk over to a glass elevator, and ZINC pushes the up button. The doors promptly open and they get in.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Squee! I love glass elevators!
(SUDORANDOM smacks the lower half of the glowing buttons.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): “Let’s short out the electricity!†Teehee. Let me help you with that. (smacks top buttons)
AVALONGIRL, ZINC, ENCELADUS: What? I thought I was the craziest person here!
AVALONGIRL: Jinx!
SUDORANDOM: Jinx, jinx, you owe me a soda, jinx, j-mmph!
(ARMADA and KIRIANNE clap their hands over his mouth.)
ZINC: Is he always this annoying?
(one after the other, very quickly)
ARMADA: Yes.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yes.
SUDORANDOM: (muffled) Hey!
ZINC: Ah, don’t worry, that’s a compliment.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Zinc, you know he’s always this annoying. You’ve talked to him.
ZINC: Yeah, and he wasn’t this annoying! Must be your influence, RQ.
SUDORANDOM: (struggling free) See, RQ? Zinc agrees with me!
ZINC: (continuing as if SUDORANDOM has never said anything) I mean, the only time I remember him being annoying is that one time when we were discussing Death Note…
SUDORANDOM: That was for your own good! You two are complete addicts!
ZINC, KIRIANNE (RQ): (in unison) We know.
SUDORANDOM: Jin—
(This time ZINC joins them in making him be quiet.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): So, how awful did I look as Misamisa, anyway? Manga transformations must be kinda hard.
ZINC: Actually, you looked just like her.
KIRIANNE (RQ): You were kidding about Light, riiiight?
AVALONGIRL: Hey, that wasn’t me, I’m not a Death Note person, tha-
KIRIANNE (RQ): I KNOW! Zinc?
ZINC: Yeah, pretty much. If I were going to conjure up some character from Death Note, it’d be L. Or Mello. Or Matt.
KIRIANNE (RQ): L! Not Mello! PleasenotMello!
AVALONGIRL: (steps more towards SR) I’mnotaDeathNotepersonI’mnotadeathNoteperson… (chants to herself)
ZINC: Why don’t you like Mello, anyway?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Because—
SUDORANDOM: SHUT UP! Please! Before I go insane!
ARMADA: Ooh, SR’s gonna go insane? I want to see this. (to KIRIANNE and ZINC) I’d choose L, definitely. Although, would that work? Since…
ZINC, KIRIANNE (RQ): (in unison) Shhh! You’ll spoil it for SudoRandom!
SUDORANDOM: Not you too, Armada!
(KIRIANNE, ZINC and ARMADA look at each other, then put their hands in the pockets that hold their talismans,)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I wish…
ZINC: (laughing a little) I wish L…
ARMADA: Was…
SUDORANDOM: Noooooo!
(long pause)
SUDORANDOM: Oh good, nothing happened.
ZINC: This elevator’s too crowded already. Whaddya think would happen if we stuck someone else in it?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yeah, we’re saving your torture for later, SR.
ARMADA: (laughing) I’m just picturing SR’s face if we actually did this…
ZINC: Wait, I thought we were planning to.
SUDORANDOM: NO! PLEASE!
AVALONGIRL: IhavenothingtodowithDeathNoteIhavenothingtodowithDeathNote… (continues to chant to herself)
ENCELADUS: (calmly) The elevator has now stopped at every single floor and no one has gotten out. So I’m assuming the tour is off. Wanna go train? This is the stop, if you do…
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yeah, sure! I wanna shoot some bunnies!
AVALONGIRL: Me too! Lead the way, ‘Ladus-oops, sorry, Enceladus.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Have you been here before?
AVALONGIRL: Nah, not this one. I’ve been to a couple of other ones, though. Come on, I want out of this elevator!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Meh, it’s not that bad.
AVALONGIRL: I-I’ll fake being claustrophobic if I have to be in here one minute more with you DN addicts…
(They walk down the catwalk that the elevator door has opened onto.)
SCENE 4
(SCENE: a platform with no railing, overlooking… nothingness. A dead-eyed bunny robot waits to be activated.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Ooh, this’ll be fun! Where’s my blaster?
ARMADA: Right over here. (motions at a bin sitting on the edge)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Goody!
(She runs fearlessly over to the bin and grabs a blaster.)
AVALONGIRL: (picking up a lightsaber) …You aren’t afraid of anything, are you.
(She turns on the lightsaber and starts waving it around, practicing stances.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Aaaah! (jumps away) Don’t get that thing near me! I seem to have developed a phobia of lightsabers. Waaaa! (ducks)
AVALONGIRL: You serious? You’re gonna need to be able to fight with one of these!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Oh, god no. I could never do that. (ducks and twists away) Ack! Gettitawayfrommeeeee!
AVALONGIRL: So… are you scared of these because they’re sharp and pointy and could cut your head off? On one hand I don’t blame you, but on the other….that really doesn’t sound like you, RQ.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Meh, it has nothing to do with that. If you gave me a regular sword I’d be fine.
ARMADA: So what is the problem?
KIRIANNE (RQ): It could burn me! Kyaa! (flattens to the ground)
AVALONGIRL: (turning off the lightsaber) Uh, Enceladus? I think we have a problem.
ENCELADUS: You’re telling me…
SUDORANDOM: I suppose we could just keep her away from all lightsabers….
ZINC: That wouldn’t work. What would she do in a battle?
ARMADA: …Duck?
AVALONGIRL: (laughs hysterically)
SUDORANDOM: “Goddag, and!â€
ARMADA: (laughs)
(MISSSWANN and SEQUOIA come running down the catwalk, panting, with FIREH trailing them.)
MISSSWANN: Did someone say “Goddag, and?â€
SEQUOIA: SudoRandom? (pause) Armada? RQ? (pointing at the correct people)
ARMADA: Nice! Yup, you got it right.
SUDORANDOM: We’re just trying to figure out how to cure RQ’s crippling fear of lightsabers.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Maybe if I transformed into someone who’s good with a lightsaber? Would that help?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, like you’ve had great experiences with THAT, RQ.
(MISSSWANN, FIREH and SEQUOIA look confused.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I was Misafied. Zinc’s fault.
FIREH: Fireh was Misafied too!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Did you, by any chance, turn into her?
FIREH: You DID? Woah.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yup. I was almost…. (counting on fingers) Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus, too.
FIREH: Uh, what?
(FIREH, SEQUOIA and MISSSWANN stare at KIRIANNE.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Avalon’s fault.
FIREH: Oh… I see. I think.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Hey, at least you’re un-Misafied….
FIREH: Oh yeah! I am, aren’t I?
KIRIANNE (RQ): How bad was it?
FIREH: All day yesterday….
AVALONGIRL: (edges away from FIREH) Yeah, you were fairly creepy at that point.
OOH! MuseBlog fanfic coming soon.
CURSE:
Everything They Wished Was True
wishes have consequences
Hey, it sounds fun. Gotta go because it’s 10:45 PM and I should be in bed.
I’ll post my favourite (least lame) part of my script, and if you want to know the rest let me know.
WINIFRED: Hi, are you Kari?
KARI: Yes, are you Winifred?
WINIFRED: Please just call me Winnie.
KARI: The Pooh?
WINNIE: Congratulations, you’re the millionth person to say that to me!
KARI: I wonder why..?
and
NICK: Uh-oh. Robin, I think it’s too late for that.
Both make sense in context.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Ooh, yikes.
(The others start arguing about how to cure RQ’s phobia in the background.)
FIREH: Yeah, I know. Fireh’s…I mean, my sister is a Death Note addict.
KIRIANNE (RQ): I am too! And so is Zinc!
ZINC: (turning from the others) Did someone call me?
KIRANNE (RQ): Not exactly, but now that I have your attention…I wish I could be Celeste from BA!
ZINC: Uh, are you sure that’s a good…
(The light clears, and KIRIANNE has transformed into CELESTE.)
ZINC: Idea… (sigh)
AVALONGIRL: (rolls her eyes and watches CELESTE)
CELESTE (RQ): Now, let’s see if I can handle that lightsaber. (picking it up) Here goes… (turning it on) Wow, I’m actually not scared of it! (waves it around experimentally) Awesome! (flicks it off) Whoa. (turns into MAIA)
MAIA (RQ): Where am I? What’s going on?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, cake, she’s turned into Maia…
MAIA (RQ): What do you mean? Wasn’t I always Maia?
ZINC: I TOLD you that wasn’t a good idea!
MAIA (RQ): What wasn’t?
ZINC: Tur-never mind. Say this for me, OK? “I wish I could be Julianne from BA.â€
MAIA (RQ): Whyy— (turns into KIYARRA)
KIYARRA (RQ): Why should I say that?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, great. Do you see that glint in her eyes?
KIYARRA (RQ): What…glint?
ZINC: You’re right. Oh, cake.
(KIYARRA suddenly turns back into MAIA.)
MAIA (RQ): What just happened?
ZINC: Nothing, just say what I told you to say! Please!
MAIA (RQ): Okay…. I wish I could be Julianne from BA… aah!
(MAIA transforms into JULIANNE.)
JULIANNE (RQ): Ah. That’s better. Thanks, Zinc.
AVALONGIRL: (sighs) And we told you it wasn’t a good idea, so why’d-
JULIANNE (RQ): YOU never said that it wasn’t a good idea! That was Zinc, and she said it too late, anyway.
———————————
That finishes off what remains of your script, RQ. So there’s a finished so-far edit…
Improve my horrid writing pwease?
I has more.
(There is a beep from ENCELADUS’s pocket. He pulls out a small communicator and pushes a button.)
ENCELADUS: Yes?
JJ: (from communicator) H-hi, Enc. This is, um, Jjjetplanegirlw/cats. We have a new recruit… I think.
ENCELADUS: What do you mean, you think? Hasn’t en made up ens mind?
JJ: Um, well… actually, he’s convinced someone’s playing an elaborate joke on him.
FISHY: (distant voice through the communicator, which he isn’t very close to) What’s that? Is it a weird version of a cell phone? It looks like something out of Star Trek!
JJ: (to FISHY) It’s a communicator. I told you, things are a little… different here. Why do you still not believe me?
FISHY: That’s it, this must be some kind of weird Star Trek cosplay. And… uh… maybe you kidnapped me because—er—
JJ: (to ENCELADUS) You see? We need you down here. Like, now.
(ENCELADUS flips his communicator shut and starts to walk toward the elevator. Everyone else looks at each other, shrugs, and follows him.)
ARMADA: Hey RQ, are you going to stay Julianne the whole rest of the time?
JULIANNE (RQ): Meh, can you think of anything better?
ARMADA: Well, you’re not exactly going to be very good at, uh, anything in that form.
JULIANNE (RQ): True, but she’s my oldest character, and I might need the age factor at some point.
ARMADA: Like when?
(JULIANNE takes a moment to think about this, then nods.)
JULIANNE (RQ): Yeah, you’re right, but I’m getting really tired of transforming!
ARMADA: Why?
JULIANNE (RQ): Have you tried it?
ARMADA: Well, no.
JULIANNE (RQ): Okay then. Try… oh, I don’t know. Who do you want to transform into?
ARMADA: I suppose… I wish I could be Kaye.
JULIANNE (RQ): And I’ll be… hmm. Might as well be someone who has her own superpowers, right? I wish I could be Rei Hino!
(There is a flash as they reach the end of the catwalk, and by the time they get to the elevator, ARMADA has transformed into KAYE and JULIANNE has transformed into REI HINO. All of them head into the elevator; ENCELADUS quickly pushes a button that says “G,†and the elevator shoots down.)
AVALONGIRL: Oh, meh, I should have thought of that, RQ… Rei… whoever.
REI: Why don’t you just call me Rei for now.
AVALONGIRL: Fine, I wish I could be Sakura from Naruto Shippuden. (transforms)
ENCELADUS: Woah! No more transforming here, guys! It’s way too crowded!
KAYE: Yeah, uh, Sakura, your talisman shoved me into the wall just now…
(The elevator doors open, and everyone tries to get out at once. SAKURA and REI shove their way out first, glaring at each other a little; the others follow them onto the patch of floor that is the warehouse elevator.)
ENCELADUS: Not everyone at once, people! Some of you have to get off! This thing can barely fit four!
FIREH: Can I stay? (bats eyelashes) Pwease?
ENCELADUS: Uh, sure. Okay. RQ, AvalonUmbrawhatever, you stay too.
REI: Rei-chan, please. I’m trying to get used to this form.
SAKURA: (glaring) Sakura-sama.
(They put their backs together, and ENCELADUS pushes the button. The elevator shoots up; about halfway through, REI and SAKURA appear to get bored with it and jump up to the edge. The others reach the top a few seconds later.)
FIREH: You didn’t have to do that, you two. We know you have superpowers. And ninja powers. And whatever.
(They walk to the door, which ENCELADUS opens to find JJ and FISHY still arguing.)
FISHY: …But how do you know my blogname? That’s what I want to know. If this is some cosplay thing, how come you’re calling me Fishy and not Jake? For that matter, how do you know me?
JJ: I told you! Tracking devices!
FISHY: And I told YOU that’s creepy! Are you some kind of stalker or something?
JJ: NO! We’re—
(ENCELADUS coughs loudly. JJ and FISHY spin around to face him; FISHY looks confused, JJ slightly flustered and rather nervous.)
ENCELADUS: The trackers aren’t on you, they’re on your talismans.
FISHY: What talismans?
ENCELADUS: Oh, I don’t know, like the little fish you bought yesterday? You know, I bet if you went back to that store, you couldn’t find it again…
FISHY: You ARE stalkers! You had a hidden camera!
ENCELADUS: No, actually, we put the store there for you to find. Well, mostly KaiYves did, but JJ and I helped.
FISHY: Really. This isn’t funny.
FIREH: It granted your wish, you know… and it can grant any wish. Watch this! (pulling out her talisman, a small ornament) I wish I could be… Misa!
REI: Oh, not again…
(FIREH transforms into MISA.)
FISHY: (staring for a second) Cool stage effects, but I don’t believe you.
ENCELADUS: I wish I could be Data!
(ENCELADUS tranforms into DATA.)
ENCELADUS: Very intriguing. I shall have to study the mechanisms involved in these transformations in more detail. Perhaps KaiYves can help me when we get back to the base.
(SUDORANDOM and ZINC arrive, arguing about something-or-other; KAYE and MISSSWANN follow, chatting. A few seconds later, SEQUOIA walks out with PEARY MOPPINS and KAIYVES.)
REI: Really! How can you not believe us after that? Fine… MARS PLANET POWER MAKEUP!
(REI turns into SAILOR MARS.)
SAILOR MARS: FIRE SOUL! (shoots fire, narrowly missing SAKURA)
SAKURA: Hey, watch it! (blasts energy back at SAILOR MARS)
SAILOR MARS: My fire is better than yours!
SAKURA: That’s ‘cause mine isn’t fire! (kicks at SAILOR MARS, narrowly missing)
SAILOR MARS: Oh yeah? Well, I think your powers are lame! And you have PINK hair, for cake’s sake! (punches SAKURA, who ducks)
SAKURA: Well, I like it! YOUR hair is boring. (punches back)
SAILOR MARS: Oh really? I’ve always wanted it this long! And straight! (kicks SAKURA off-balance)
FISHY: I… I still don’t believe you! And I’ll prove that all this is some elaborate joke or something. I wish I could be Edward! See, nothing happ—aah!
(FISHY transforms into EDWARD.)
EDWARD: Well, that proved it. Hey, at least it’s nice here… lots of pretty ladies! (winking in REI and SAKURA’s direction)
REI: Do you expect me to faint or something? I have a boyfriend.
SAKURA: Me too.
EDWARD: Actually, I was talking about her. (pointing at KAYE)
KAYE: Ew. Get lost, creep.
EDWARD: Okay… whatever… (turning away)
REI: (to SAKURA) Do you really have a boyfriend?
SAKURA: Kinda…
REI: Yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about. (conspiratorial wink) Did you see the way Fishy was looking at Armada? (laugh)
SAKURA: Yeah, that was a little… heh. Poor her.
REI: Poor her…
(The two girls link arms and walk off together.)
Heh. This will be interesting….
You wrote Edward amazingly! I’m still laughing. And, when I call Avanlongirl “AvalonUmbrawhatever” I thought it was “AvalonUmbrellawahtever”
Heh. Thanks. He’s really fun to write.
This is too great…..
Thanks!
Oh, by the way, a little debate here. Should I put in the Death Note crossover I was talking about further up, or just start writing a separate DN fanfic? Two Certain People in the script don’t want the DN thing… I can, however, think of several reasons why we’d need L… like, actually need his help, like, actual plot twists that would require us to, er… yes. Okay, I’m done now. SudoRandom, don’t kill me.
(SETTING: A small backyard with nothing in it except a large trampoline. MIRA, a young girl about 11 years old, is jumping up and down on it. Suddenly, there is a flash, and when it’s over, the setting has become a completely white and empty room, and instead of MIRA, AVALONGIRL is lying on the floor, clutching the side of her head.)
SCENE ONE, IN WHICH ERRATA IS A MAJOR KLUTZ
AVALONGIRL: Ow, my head…how cliché am I? Good thing– ohmygosh.
(She stares at her feet for a moment, then slowly brings her hands to her face.)
AVALONGIRL: …What just happened? I saw that bright flash of light, and now I’m in an alternate dimension and I… am I… AvalonGirl?
(ERRATA tumbles out from a corner of the room which has now transformed into a passageway.)
ERRATA: So, the Tyrant brought you here as well? You hide pretty well, Ava- waaaa!
(She gets back up to her feet, takes a step, and falls on her face. ALICE peeks out from behind the corner.)
ALICE: Oh, so it’s you, AvalonGirl? I never thought they’d pick up almost all of our set.
AVALONGIRL: …Please call me Noe, it’s much less of a handful. You’re Alice, right?
ERRATA: Yeah, and I’m Errata. RQ’s…
(ERRATA takes a moment to think, and finally points at the hallway she came out of.)
ERRATA: Thataway! She’s figuring out how this works and what happened a lot better than we are. Do you have any flying characters?
AVALONGIRL: Well, I’ve got WitchCatPI but she doesn’t have wings equipped, so I’ve Umbra, Espa, or Demi. But what do you-ohhh.
(AVALONGIRL turns around, and transforms into DEMI.)
DEMI ag: Well, are we going that way? I can’t fly for long, so come ON! Fork, direct me!
(ALICE sighs.)
ALICE: It’s that way. The corridor’s straight, so just keep going, don’t you see?
DEMI ag: I seeeeeeee~!
SCENE TWO, IN WHICH ROSEQUARTZ HAS SUDDENLY BECOME A SCIENTIST AND LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE PROMPTLY ELECTRIFIED
(DEMI ag flies towards the end of the hallway and bashes headfirst into a door, flying backwards from the recoil and transforming into ‘MENA ag. ROSEQUARTZ suddenly opens the door, wearing a lab coat and a Kokonspiracy shirt.)
‘MENA ag: …You just had to close the door, didn’t you…
(ROSEQUARTZ, as a way of response, leaps up in the air, turns around with a Sailor Venus-esque transformation sequence, and transforms into TASHA wearing a Sailor Venus outfit.)
TASHA: You like my transformation sequence? I haven’t perfected that transformation into Sailor Venus quite yet, but I’ve been working on the calculations.
(TASHA points back over her shoulder at a large computer-and-machine-blanketed room. Small bottles cover some of the machines. Suddenly, a scream sounds off in the distance.)
‘MENA (AG): Don’t tell me-that was someone getting randomly tortured.
TASHA: Actually, yes. That was Enceladus getting himself electrocuted for my experiment… hopefully the refractive cells will stay on this time so we don’t have to make him do it a third time.
‘MENA (AG): And he wanted to do this why?
(‘MENA (AG) grins, rolls her eyes, and transforms into SAILOR MARS.)
TASHA: Hey, that’s-
SAILOR MARS (AG): Perfect? Hey, if you were Sailor Chibimoon it’d be a lot easier…
(Pink lightning strikes TASHA, and she is surrounded by pink heart-shaped sparkles. When they clear, she has transformed into Sailor Chibimoon.)
SAILOR CHIBIMOON: …You know, Rei-or-whoever-you-are-now, I am so going to kill you…
SCENE THREE, IN WHICH A CRAZY JELLO FLOOD COVERS THE ROOM AND FEELS LIKE A BLANKET
(ENCELADUS comes staggering in, looking completely frazzled. He looks at SAILOR CHIBIMOON, rolls his eyes, screams the words ‘THE JELLO IS COMING!’ and collapses. SAILOR CHIBIMOON jumps up in the air, turns around, transforms into KIRIANNE and looks extremely worried.)
KIRIANNE: Ohmygoshohmygosh! Here’s a hoverboard-I’ll take Enceladus.
‘MENA (AG): This isn’t a joke, is it?
(Two hoverboards promptly appear in front of KIRIANNE. She gets on one and puts ENCELADUS behind herself.)
‘MENA (AG): No, I guess it’s not.
(’MENA is about to get onto the hoverboard, but transforms into AVALONGIRL first. She then gets on and is about to escape the room, but a crazy flood of lime-green Jello enters the room from the door ENCELADUS entered from. AVALONGIRL stares at it in mesmerization and falls off her hoverboard.)
KIRIANNE: UMBRAMEW!
(She dives down on her hoverboard, but she and ENCELADUS fall off into the Jello. AVALONGIRL is attempting to sit up, but the Jello forces her back down onto her back and covers her mouth. She soon disappears under it like everyone else (KIRIANNE, FIREH, ENCELADUS, ARMADA, ALICE and SILVER LINING, who have all mysteriously appeared.))
More minor editing!
——————————————-
(There is a beep from ENCELADUS’s pocket. He pulls out a small communicator and pushes a button.)
ENCELADUS: Yes?
JJ: (from communicator) H-hi, Enc. This is, um, Jjjetplanegirlw/cats. We have a new recruit… I think…
ENCELADUS: What do you mean, you think?! Hasn’t en made up ens mind?
JJ: Um, well… actually, he’s convinced someone’s playing an elaborate joke on him.
FISHY: (distant voice through the communicator, which he isn’t very close to) What’s that? Is it a odd version of a cell phone? It looks like something out of Star Trek!
JJ: (to FISHY) It’s a communicator. I told you, things are a little… different here. Why do you still not believe me?
FISHY: That’s it, this must be some kind of weird Star Trek cosplay. And… uh… maybe you kidnapped me because—er—
JJ: (to ENCELADUS) You see? We need you down here. Like, now.
(ENCELADUS flips his communicator shut and starts to walk toward the elevator. Everyone else looks at each other, shrugs, and follows him.)
ARMADA: Hey RQ, are you going to stay Julianne the whole rest of the time?
JULIANNE (RQ): Meh, can you think of anything better?
ARMADA: Well, you’re not exactly going to be very good at, uh, anything in that form.
JULIANNE (RQ): True, but she’s my oldest character, and I might need the age factor at some point.
ARMADA: Like when?
(JULIANNE takes a moment to think about this, then nods.)
JULIANNE (RQ): Yeah, you’re right, but I’m getting really tired of transforming!
ARMADA: Why?
JULIANNE (RQ): Have you tried it?
ARMADA: Well, no.
JULIANNE (RQ): Okay then. Try… oh, I don’t know. Who do you want to transform into?
ARMADA: I suppose… I wish I could be Kaye.
JULIANNE (RQ): And I’ll be… hmm. Might as well be someone who has her own superpowers, right? I wish I could be Rei Hino!
(There is a flash as they reach the end of the catwalk, and by the time they get to the elevator, ARMADA has transformed into KAYE and JULIANNE has transformed into REI HINO. All of them head into the elevator; ENCELADUS quickly pushes a button that says “G,†and the elevator shoots down.)
AVALONGIRL: Oh, meh, I should have thought of that, RQ…Rei…whatever, as long as you don’t do dub character names.
REI: Why don’t you just call me Rei for now.
AVALONGIRL: Fine, I wish I could be Sakura from Naruto Shippuden! (transforms)
ENCELADUS: Woah! No more transforming here, guys! It’s way too crowded!
KAYE: Yeah, uh, Sakura, your talisman shoved me into the wall just now…
(The elevator doors open, and everyone tries to get out at once. SAKURA and REI shove their way out first, glaring at each other a little; the others follow them onto the patch of floor that is the warehouse elevator.)
ENCELADUS: Not everyone at once, people! Some of you have to get off! This thing can barely fit four!
FIREH: Can I stay? (bats eyelashes) Pwease?
ENCELADUS: Uh, sure. Okay. RQ, AvalonUmbrawhatever, you stay too.
REI: Rei-chan, please. I’m trying to get used to this form.
SAKURA: (glaring) Sakura-sama. I. Want. RESPECT!
(They put their backs together, and ENCELADUS pushes the button. The elevator shoots up; about halfway through, REI and SAKURA appear to get bored with it and jump up to the edge. The others reach the top a few seconds later.)
FIREH: You didn’t have to do that, you two. We know you have superpowers. And ninja powers. And whatever.
(They walk to the door, which ENCELADUS opens to find JJ and FISHY still arguing.)
FISHY: …But how do you know my blogname? That’s what I want to know. If this is some cosplay thing, how come you’re calling me Fishy and not Jake? For that matter, how do you know me?
JJ: I told you! Tracking devices!
FISHY: And I told YOU that’s creepy! Are you some kind of stalker or something?
JJ: NO! We’re—
(ENCELADUS coughs loudly. JJ and FISHY spin around to face him; FISHY looks confused, JJ slightly flustered and rather nervous.)
ENCELADUS: The trackers aren’t on you, they’re on your talismans.
FISHY: What talismans?
ENCELADUS: Oh, I don’t know, like the little fish you bought yesterday? You know, I bet if you went back to that store, you couldn’t find it again…
FISHY: You ARE stalkers! You had a hidden camera!
ENCELADUS: No, actually, we put the store there for you to find. Well, mostly KaiYves did, but JJ and I helped.
FISHY: Really. This isn’t funny.
FIREH: It granted your wish, you know… and it can grant any wish. Watch this! (pulling out her talisman, a small ornament) I wish I could be… Misa!
REI: Oh, great, not again…
(FIREH transforms into MISA.)
FISHY: (staring for a second) Cool stage effects, but I don’t believe you.
SAKURA: No. More. Death Note! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!
ENCELADUS: I wish I could be Data!
(ENCELADUS tranforms into DATA.)
ENCELADUS: Very intriguing. I shall have to study the mechanisms involved in these transformations in more detail. Perhaps KaiYves can help me when we get back to the base.
(SUDORANDOM and ZINC arrive, arguing about something-or-other; KAYE and MISSSWANN follow, chatting. A few seconds later, SEQUOIA walks out with PEARY MOPPINS and KAIYVES.)
REI: Really, Fishy! How can you not believe us after that? Fine… MARS PLANET POWER MAKEUP!
(REI turns into SAILOR MARS.)
SAILOR MARS: FIRE SOUL! (shoots fire, narrowly missing SAKURA)
SAKURA: Hey, watch it! (blasts energy back at SAILOR MARS)
SAILOR MARS: My fire is better than yours!
SAKURA: That’s ‘cause mine isn’t fire! (kicks at SAILOR MARS, narrowly missing)
SAILOR MARS: Oh yeah? Well, I think your powers are lame! And you have PINK hair, for cake’s sake! (punches at SAKURA, who ducks)
SAKURA: Well, I like it! YOUR hair is more boring! (punches back)
SAILOR MARS: Oh, really? I’ve always wanted it this long! And straight! (kicks SAKURA off-balance)
SAKURA: (flips backwards to regain balance) Hey, Enceladus, ignore us, ok? (punches the ground and creates an earthquake)
FISHY: I… I still don’t believe you! And I’ll prove that all this is some elaborate joke or something. I wish I could be Edward! See, nothing happ—aah!
(FISHY transforms into EDWARD.)
SAILOR MARS: Okay, I think I just proved that firepowers are much more awesome. Hah. (transforms into REI)
EDWARD: Well, that proved it. Hey, at least it’s nice here… lots of pretty ladies! (winking in REI and SAKURA’s direction)
REI: Do you expect me to faint or something? I have a boyfriend.
SAKURA: Me too, weirdo. I’m not in the mood for romantic parings right now.
EDWARD: Actually, I was talking about her. (pointing at KAYE)
KAYE: Ew. Get lost, creep.
EDWARD: Okay… whatever… (turning away)
REI: (to SAKURA) Do you really have a boyfriend?
SAKURA: Uh, kinda…
REI: Yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about. (conspiratorial wink) Did you see the way Fishy was looking at Armada? (laugh)
SAKURA: Yeah, that was a little… heh. Poor her.
REI: Poor her…
(The two girls link arms and walk off together.)
——————————-
Hey, RQ, edit my horrid writing pwease?
I did! It’s not horrible! Really!
But it IS, RQ. I know it!
I’m starting a story called CURSE: wishes have consequences, and this is a part of the first chapter. Likely the back
—————————–
I looked around, and what did I see?
Emptiness and whiteness all around.
Obviously, the one wish I’d screamed before my group was wiped out…had likely wiped everything else out except me….
Stupid me for wishing the wrong thing, not looking ahead to see what might befall everyone, not trying to include my friends in the future I’m trying to attain, never knowing what would happen.
It was always my curse.
A curse of truth, of lies, of death and of life. Of appearance, of going away, of writing and editing, of characters and rephrasing!
But let me backtrack. My name’s Mira Umbran, and this is the story of my curse, my friend’s curse, and the terror we all caused by our curse we were given, thinking it was a gift. But let me tell you before it all fades-whiteness is collapsing the walls of my mind, I’m beginning to forget!
That’s what I get for wishing a fate on the universe, everyone else, the people I wanted to help, just to avoid death.
For what I’ve done, death might be too kind…
My name is Mira Umbran. This is my story.
T
his is my curse.
—————————————-
Anyone have a thought on the story?
The thing is that this girl, Mira Umbran, and her friends are given a gift (that’s actually a curse) to get whatever they wish for. In what happened right before, she’s about to die, but wishes that anything to do with what’s going on never happened…which, of course, takes her to this empty space in her mind because she just sorta destroyed the universe.
I will put Musers in, even though it’s not a MuseBlog story, but you need to post your real first name (or the first name you’d like to go by in my story), and I’ll likely put you in somehow.
My real first name’s Hannah, but you can call me Rose. I’ve always liked that name better anyway. Or you could call me Lizzie, for my middle name.
My middle name’s Rose, but in the story I’m Mira Rose Umbran. You can be Hannah Rose -insert last name here that’s likely Quartzel-, is that ok?
Okay. You could do something like “Stone” for my last name, too, or…. lessee. *had something a second ago but can’t think of it any more*
I’m gonna change ‘my’ last name to Avalon, because I want any MBers reading it knowing which MBers are which. You’ll be my best friend, unless you object…
(On iTouch!)
My name’s Robin.
Robin Zinc, then.
So…you’ll likely be Robin Zinc Venefica, and yes, there’s a reason for the Venefica. I will tell the reason tomorrow.
More!
GROUNDHOG: So now all we need to do is find the bunnies, exterminate them, and get the GAPAs back. Which will not be as easy as it sounds. Bunnies breed quickly, and if we dally too long, we’ll have no chance.
ZINC: *dries her eyes* Right. Let’s start training!
KITTYMINE: Sorry to say this, but… there is no time to train. We have a day to prepare, and then we leave.
THF: Pan, POSOC, and I will be leading the home front. Groundhog will interchange between the two. ZVX and Kittymine will be on the search.
RAINBOW: So we don’t know where they are?
THF: Yup. The labbies and I will be trying to help you find them.
IBCF: All right! Let’s go!
Epic music plays, and a screen appears in front of everyone, showing a training montage. Then, a slideshow starts playing with pictures of the fighters and their names. Halfway through that, ZVX rips through the slideshow.
ZVX: ENOUGH! We NEED TO GET GOING!!!
IBCF: Geez, ZVX, you’re bad at this stuff.
ZVX: Shut up.
ROSEQUARTZ: And why was there a training montage? We didn’t train.
GROUNDHOG: I have no idea.
FISHY: And… where did the footage come from?
THF: …internet…?
ZVX: This is getting us NOWHERE! Let’s GO!
ZVX shoves everyone into the tunnel which RAINBOW, ZINC, and AVALONGIRL came out of, with some cries of protest and yells about Pocky (mainly coming from ZINC).
END OF SCENE ONE.
More! AvalonGirl, I’m going to do as you suggested earlier and transport the AG from your script into mine, so there are two of you. That’ll come later, though, unless I can get it written now.
KAIYVES: (muttering) Why is everyone transformed but me? Oh, fine. I wish I could be Delta V from Superheroes and Mary Sues. (transforms into DELTA V)
PEARY MOPPINS: (shaking head vehemently) I’m not transforming. No way! I like my own form just fine.
JJ: I’m with ya there, Peary. Although—(panicked look in DATA’s direction) I- I don’t mind other people transforming! Not at all!
DELTA V: Ah, lighten up, guys. Being a superhero is FUN, even if I am a dysfunctional one. And I love the outfit! (twirls)
EDWARD: (turning to DELTA V) Me too. Looks great on you, darlin’. (winks and turns back around)
DELTA V: Thanks! (blushes)
PEARY MOPPINS: (elbows DELTA V) Psst. I’m guessing he says stuff like that to all the girls.
JJ: Yeah. As Edward he does, anyway. I liked him a lot better as Fishy, but I bet now he’s too full of himself to even want to change back!
DELTA V: So? That doesn’t make it any less flattering… (giggles)
PEARY MOPPINS: (to JJ) I think Kai’s lost it.
JJ: I blame Edward.
PEARY MOPPINS: Me too.
DELTA V: Oh, stop it. (turning) Data! Or Enc! Whoever! Come back to the base and help with my latest experiment!
JJ: That’s better.
PEARY MOPPINS: Much.
(DATA walks towards DELTA V, and they both go inside. JJ and PEARY MOPPINS race to catch up.)
MISA: Hey, Enc! Wait up! (starts to run after DATA)
MISSSWANN: (jumping in front of her) Uhh, Fireh? Aren’t you going to turn back now?
MISA: Oh. Right. (whining) But I like this outfit!
SEQUOIA: Then just ask to keep it!
MISA: Oh! Yeah! Thanks! (runs in, yelling her wish as she does so)
SEQUOIA: (to MISSSWANN) Do you want to run after her and, ah, mention that that outfit isn’t exactly the most practical one for what we’re doing?
MISSSWANN: Nah, she’ll be fine. Sailor Mars’s outfit is less practical, anyway, and she fights evil in it all the time.
SEQUOIA: Very true. I just hope RQ can manage in those heels…
(The two of them walk in. KAYE starts to follow them, but EDWARD puts his hand on her arm.)
EDWARD: (in what he obviously thinks is a sexy purr) I never caught your name.
KAYE: It’s Kaye. Can I go now? (shakes him off)
EDWARD: Wait! Don’t you want a kiss goodbye? (winking)
KAYE: Ew. Get AWAY from me. I don’t feel like dealing with you at the moment, okay? Just… shoo. Bye! (waves hand in shooing motion)
EDWARD: Aw, come on, you know you want me….
KAYE: Actually, what I want is to get away from you. Which I will do right… now. (kicks EDWARD in the leg and runs into the base)
EDWARD: Hey, wait!
KAYE: (over her shoulder) No way! Pervert!
(She slams the door in his face. He yanks it open and keeps chasing her. ZINC and SUDORANDOM watch them go, then both burst out laughing.)
ZINC: Jeez, I feel really bad for her… what a creep.
SUDORANDOM: Ah, don’t worry, they’ll end up together in the end!
ZINC: …ew. Why?
SUDORANDOM: Because the characters that hate each other and argue a lot always end up together.
ZINC: And here goes the Master of Clichés again…
SUDORANDOM: What? It’s true!
ZINC: Yeah, sure, whatever. I still can’t really imagine them together.
SUDORANDOM: Edward’ll shape up at some point. Probably.
ZINC: I doubt it.
SUDORANDOM: He will!
ZINC: No, he WON’T. And there is no way Armada could like him, anyway.
SUDORANDOM: Exactly! Opposites attract and all that! Arguing makes them cloooserrrr!
ZINC: Uh… (realizing something) Kyaa! No way! (races inside)
SUDORANDOM: What was that all about?…. Oh. Whoops.
(((Something)) shows time passing ((can’t think of anything… help, guys?)). Three days later….)
SCENE FOUR
(SCENE: The main area of the base. A bunch of people are gathered around something on the floor.)
RANDOM PERSON 1: Awww, they’re so cute!
RANDOM PERSON 2: Adorable!
PEARY MOPPINS: (walking over) What are?
RANDOM PERSON 1: Wungs!
PEARY MOPPINS: Wait, you have wungs?
RANDOM PERSON 2: Yeah! Right here, see? (holding up a small furry thing) There are five of them!
(REI walks in; she sees the furry thing and stops short, turning to DATA who has just walked in behind her.)
REI: Please tell me that’s a wung.
DATA: Actually, that is a creature known as a Tribble. Starfleet first encountered them on Stardate—
REI: Data-san! We’re not in Starfleet!
DATA: Yes, I am aware of that. However—
REI: Look. I don’t want to know when Starfleet first encountered them. I want to know how to get rid of them. Okay?
(Before DATA has a chance to answer, DELTA V walks in.)
DELTA V: Data! We have a problem!
REI: There’s another one, right over there. Someone let TRIBBLES in here, and when I find en, I am going to torture en.
DELTA V: Oh. Great. Just what we need, when Sakura, SilverLeopard, Daisy*chain and bluefire27 have disappeared.
REI: Oh no! V-chan, we have to find them!
DELTA V: I know. Funny, it sounds almost familiar, like they’ve been missing before…
REI: Oh my gosh! They have! Data, find every copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the base.
(DATA nods and rushes off.)
DELTA V: Do you think—
REI: Yes, V-chan! It’s another plot twist.
DELTA V: We seem to be having a lot of those lately. Luckily they’re all familiar. (mumbling) And I’m Delta V, not Sailor Venus…
REI: I know, V-chan, but I prefer to call you that.
DELTA V: RQ, why do you insist on adding Japanese extensions to everyone’s names?
REI: I think it’s partly my character coming out and partly because it’s fun. (giggles)
How to get rid of Tribbles: Transport them onto a Klingon ship.
Oh lord, you’d better not be setting me up with SR there, RQ… *arms self with chair*
-takes chair away- Here, have a nice pie-growing potplant.
Zinc, believe me, I think MexSR would be worse. Or MeXFishy. Or meXanyone. So if I’m not paired up, you’ll likely suffer, mmhmm~and you don’t ever want to give me a romantic paring in anything unless it’s OppositeMuseBlog or extremely comedic.
Uh, you weren’t there for our conversation last night… *is still laughing* Sudo kept telling Zinc he loved her. Over and over. *snickersnicker* It’s no wonder Zinc’s freaking out over here.
Don’t worry, Zinc, it’ll be one-sided… *coughcough* And youxL or youxMatt is a possibility. I don’t know which yet. Okay?
Wait, seriously? *laughs* Oh, and AvalonGirl, if you want to put me in the other script too you can call me Jen.
…It’s not a script, it’s a story. And I need someone to motivate me into writing the first chapter.
Can I help you write it? If you’ll tell me what the plot is I’d be willing to write some!
The plot is:
This girl, Mira Rose Avalon, and her friends (you, Zinc, RQ) are given a gift (that’s actually a curse) to get whatever they wish for. In what happened right before the part I wrote, she’s about to die, but wishes that anything to do with what’s going on never happened…which, of course, takes her to this empty space in her mind because she just sorta destroyed the universe.
If you write some, I’ll edit it…I’m planning to try and publish it if I ever finish, so I need to write it by myself, mostly.
Hey, Erin Hunter (the writer of the dreaded Warriors books) is actually three people….. (and what that has to do with this..?)
Yeah, but I’m not using a fake name. I want my own fame and glory…
You can help write, but I want to see you try.
Write a next chapter and I’ll judge it.
Yes, seriously, although I don’t know if he meant it seriously…
Go look at Quotations. Zinc posted it, in all its glory… XD
OMG I just read it…..*is laughing enself’s head off* Yeah. It’s great.
Oh, RQ, btw I voluteer internetobsessed for the script and for pairing with me. You can call him IO. If you want. He doesn’t mind. (being in the script or being paired w/me or being called io)
12- -ROFLs about the training montage- That’s from one of the first BA threads, by Armada-or-someone-I-can’t-remember, right?
(Screen fades to black)
SCENE FOUR, IN WHICH TELETRANSPORTERS CREATE A DIMENSIONAL WARP
(AVALONGIRL is lying on a bed in a hospital room. She stretches out and slowly wakes.)
AVALONGIRL: Ok, whoever sent that Jello after us, come on out! I know you’re there!
(A loud demented laugh sounds through the speaker above her head. VOICE begins to speak from the loudspeaker after he stops laughing.)
VOICE: Oh, why would I do that? I know what you’re going to do. You want to go back to the correct place-your home, right, miss witchtara?
AVALONGIRL: Yea-hey, wait. How the heck do you know my username from all those years ago?! I wasn’t even a Muser yet!
VOICE: As you say, spellcat, as you say. But you Musers are just what I need.
AVALONGIRL: Another old username of mine. This is getting really creepy, whoever-you-are…
VOICE: Look, AvalonGirl, I’ll let you go free. Walk down the hallway and into your friend RoseQuartz’s room. There’s a teletransporter there that you can use. Just stand in it, think of home, click your heels together three times, and you should be taken back to where you were before I snatched you from that reality!
AVALONGIRL: Ummm…ok, but will I be able to come back here? I think RQ’s injured, and-.
VOICE: Do not worry. They are going to go back to your dimension when they are ready! Meanwhile, you should go back.
(Without a word, AvalonGirl sighs, turns around, and walks out of the room. She walks down the empty hallway outside and into ROSEQUARTZ’s room. In there, KIRIANNE is lying on the bed, unconscious. Across from the bed is a teletransporter.)
AVALONGIRL: Sorry, RQ…I’ll come back for you. But right now you’re in bad condition, and Enceladus is even worse…I’ll come back…I promise…
(AVALONGIRL steps into the teletransporter and clicks her heels together three times. Electricity binds her arms together, and she disappears with a strangled scream.
KIRIANNE then wakes up. She looks at the floor in front of the teletransporter and sees a lock of red hair and a patch of teal material.)
KIRIANNE: Okay, this isn’t a good thing and we’ve now likely lost someone to another universe. This is a GREAT day. Life is GOOD.
Oh. My. God.
I just realized that my script would make a perfect anime.
Ohmygodyes. So would mine, actually.
I just thought of that when I was rereading my script, and at the beginning I have something about voices…
I want to design Gaia Online versions of my characters. AvalonGirl’s done, but the others aren’t. I’ll give updates…
Just so you know, I’m tall, with dark brown hair.
Actually, RQ, I think it would be best if you didn’t drag anime characters into a script. (and anyway, they belong to Light and Mello… you know how I am about that. No matter [heh] how much I say they are hot, I still believe that they’re respective pairings are the best for them.)
Or they could make their scripts into anime type things.That way, anime characters wouldn’t look out of place.
Okay, if you’re sure you want to end up with SudoRandom, I won’t write them in.
No, I am NOT blackmailing you. I’m just saying.
Ok, I’m thinking of doing a RRR-script, based on the Floating City Design Thread. I know f+h is helping, and anyone can join, if they know the Design thread.
Basic Plot: It begins with the launch of a new city, and extra solar one this time. the int proceeds into a history, and how MuseBloggers made the floating Earth city as a launch city. The next bit is for the story, and in it, the floating city is losing power, and beginning to fall to the ground. The hero, antagonist, and hero’s friends will be introduced at the end, in “present dayâ€, 2070. Movie. If you have any additions, let me know. The year of the movie will be 60 years ahead of whenever it’s shown. I’m hoping someone will make an animation version
Setting, Dark Screen. A cheering crowd fades in, with NARRATOR, standing at a podium.(secretly RAINBOW’S DAUGHTER, to be introduced when the story starts)
NARRATOR: 50 years ago today, in 2020, a group, known as the MuseBloggers, founded the floating city you live in today. And, to commemorate the event, we are launching a new colony. And it’s a colony greater than we’ve ever had before. This is a colony that goes far beyond the reach of our sun. It is three light years away, and, we will colonize it!
(The camera zooms out. We hear unintelligible speech. We see that the city is a flying city, and the bottom is a flat plane. We then hear the Narrator yell “Let the launch begin!†A sphere shoots up out of the city, going amazingly fast. The camera follows it, and shows the people in it a cryogenicaly frozen, wearing contented smiles. We zoom back to the city, and see it as a bright dot, flying up above.)
NARRATOR: This city has gone through countless designs, redesigns, and attempted builds. The final version is what you live on today. It started 60 years ago, with Rainbow, our city leader, on MuseBlog…
ZOMFG AN UPDATE.
ZVX shoves everyone except RTH and MEOW, who stay behind, into the tunnel which RAINBOW, ZINC, and AVALONGIRL came out of, with some cries of protest and yells about Pocky (mainly coming from ZINC.
END OF SCENE ONE.
Setting: The Musers in the LA base have exited the tunnel and are standing in a barren desert. Mountains are seen in the distance. ZINC licks her finger and holds it up.
ZINC: Behh. No wind. I can’t fly a kite.
AVALONGIRL: Why would you want to do that?
ZINC: Why wouldn’t I?
ZVX: Enough shenanigans, guys. We’re looking for something here.
RAINBOW: Where would we look for it? This place is empty.
On ZVX’s com card, GROUNDHOG’s face flashes to the screen. ZVX holds it up.
GROUNDHOG: Sorry to intrude, guys. I just know the most about this.
FISHY: …and?
GROUNDHOG: Right before Robert disappeared, he wrote a message to us and a coded, but detailed, list of instructions on where to go and what to do there. He knew what was going on, and he couldn’t stop it. So he told us, if we deciphered it correctly, where, when, and how to find the GAPAs.
SYLLABUB: Why didn’t you tell us this before?! This is important info!
GROUNDHOG: The message told me to tell you certain things at certain times.
ZINC: Why you? Why not Rainbow, or Syllabub, or anyone else?
SYLLABUB: Sequoia.
ZINC: Shut up, no one calls you that anyway.
SYLLABUB: Hmph.
ZINC: Anyway, back to my question. Why did he choose you?
ZVX: He didn’t. He made us choose between Groundhog, Pan, and I, knowing that all of us could deliver the message clearly and without botching it up.
IBCF’s com card chirps, and he lifts it up. PAN appears this time.
PAN: Sorry. Just had to eavesdrop.
Everyone, excluding FIREH, MISSSWANN, and IBCF, facepalms and sighs.
PAN: You guys are so mean. Anyway, we chose Groundhog for two reasons. One, she has no essential fighting skills, excluding ZVX, two, she is the oldest, excluding me, and three, she seemed the best for the guiding person that tells useful information through an electronic device that befits the situation the protagonists are in.
ZINC: Whoops, dropped my pin.
AVALONGIRL: *dryly* I heard.
“We chose Groundhog for three reasons” not two reasons. Heh, typo.
I’d like to join the muse-script as character; I might write something too. But which one…Can I just be myself?
*thinks of RPG characters*
*shudders*
I guess there’s nobody here.
*sigh* You’re sitting on my head.
Oops. Sorry. *gets off* Can I have a piggy back?
Sure. Hop on.
* get’s on ’s back.*
I’ve never done this before. It’s kinda fun.
Yep. Hey, shouldn’t you be terrorizing me or something?
Yeah, well, I think that that’s kind of stupid. What’s your name?
Frederick.
Frederick? Can I call you Fred?
I guess so. I prefer Frederick.
Okay. I’m Timothy, by the way.
Can I call you Tim the-
No. Just because I’m a mammal with buck-teeth with a name that can be shortened to Tim, it does not give you the right to call me Tim the Beaver.
Sorry.
So… *swings legs*
Ouch! You broke my glasses!
Sorry.
It’s okay. They weren’t that nice, anyway. They were all scratched up. They weren’t that cool, either. I really needed Bifocals, so I was always bumping into stuff, and kids made fun of me. They called me the 8th dwarf, Bumpy. I thought it was kind of strange that they made fun of me by referencing Snow White. I always thought of it as sort of an honor, I really loved that-
Yeah, enough of that. You’re making me sad, Fred-
-erick-
Yeah, Frederick. I was going to stick on the Erick. Anyway, you know what makes me sad, Frederick?
Wait, you mean besides the fact that kids always called me Bumpy, because otherwise you really haven’t given any clues, in which case this was probably a rhetorical question, because I really have got no way of knowing, because I’m not very good at reading Bunny Body language, so-?
cuts in* YES, IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION, FREDERICK. What makes me sad, Frederick, is the fact that whoever is reading this is wondering when I’m going to eat you, or explode you, or kill you in some other way. Or at least cause you considerable harm.
Why would they think that? You seem pretty nice to me.
But when people see HPBs, they automatically assume that they’re Bunnius Eviluses.
Oh. Then if most people find this boring anyway, why don’t we go get my glasses fixed?
((Okay, I’m writing my script from SSSS in Smileys, because it works better for me, but so far this is what I had there with minor changes.))
-The other elsewhere-
Setting: The lab. THF shuts off the computer, and swivels around in her chair.
THF: All righty. In a couple of minutes, the other group will be leaving. They will be heading to a desert. You guys, on the other hand, will be heading to San Fransisco.
SUDORANDOM: Why are we doing everything in California? No fair!
THF: I don’t know why, either. Put up with it, ya big baby.
SUDORANDOM: Hmrph.
THF: Anyhows, in San Fransisco, you’ll be—
THF is interuptted in the middle of her sentence when KITTYMINE and POSOC drag in a protesting BEAVO, who is tied up in multipule straitjeckets and some steal chains.
POSOC: *pant, pant* Got him!
BEAVO: Do you realize what you’ve DONE?! You’ve flipping messed up my HAIR, that’s what! LET ME GO!!!
KITTYMINE: Not until we get your pills.
FIDDLER: Oh, Beavo’s pills? I have them right here.
FIDDLER produces a small orange container of bright green pills.
POSOC: That information would’ve been way more helpful earlier, Fiddler.
FIDDLER: Hey, you didn’t ask for them. How was I to know?
POSOC: Hm, I don’t know, the SCREAMING and CRASHES and—
KITTYMINE: Enough, POSOC. Hand em over, Fiddler.
FIDDLER gives KITTYMINE the container. KITTYMINE and POSOC shove a pill down BEAVO’s throat. Everyone is silent as BEAVO ingests the pill.
BEAVO: Sorry bout that. Can you let me loose, please? And can I have a comb? My hair is a complete disaster.
THF: Let him go, he’s fine now. I think.
POSOC and KITTYMINE reluctantly let BEAVO out of restraints. BEAVO stretches out and dusts off him bellbottoms.
BEAVO: Ah, many thanks, many thanks.
SUDORANDOM: Can we go? Or can I have a chair?
KITTYMINE: Oh, we’re leaving now. But someone will have to take my post, as there has to be three people at each base at all times. Alice, how bout you?
ALICE: *shrugs* Okay. I seem to be rater adept at being captured, anyway.
I can’t spell to save my life. TT . TT
SELTZER!
What?
SELTZER!
What?
SELTZER!
What?
SELTZER!
Wh- Actually, fine. Seltzer. What about it?
SELTZER!
Yes, seltzer. I would like some as well, but right now we need to get my glasses fixed.
No, not Seltzer like that! ALKA-Seltzer!
I appreciate you offering, but right now my problem is broken glasses, not heartburn.
No! Alka-Seltzer as in the rock band!
I have no idea who you’re talking about, and I don’t think anybody out there **points to audience** does either. Why don’t you go into a long (rather needless) background exposition about your connection with them?
Alka-Seltzer is an amazing rock band from New Zealand-
-Just like Flight of the Conchords?
-What? No! I used to listen to them all the time back when I lived with my family. They aren’t very popular-
-Just like Flight of the Conchords?
No! They have a Guitarist and a Bassist-
Just like Flight of the Conchords?
And a Drummer-
-In episode 12 of the 1st season, “The Third Conchord”, Flight of the Conchords had a Bongo player.
LISTEN! THEY ARE NOT FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS! THEY ARE ALKA-SELTZER!
Sorry. You seem a bit obsessed with them.
Alka-Seltzer has molded my whole life! They’re the reason I got kicked out of my colony!
What? Really? How?
I loved them, but everyone told me I shouldn’t listen to human music. I always wanted to be a musician when I grew up, and one day they found out, and chased me away.
Wow, that’s awful. Why are we talking about them right now?
Because they’re right over there! Look!
Oh. No, that’s not them. Flight of the Conchords only has two members. That’s probably just a tribute band.
((does my Smiley format bother anyone?
Note: I wrote this off of a random whim to continue my play with Tim shouting about seltzer. All of the rest came from google. Except the Flight of the Conchords bit.))
Through The Looking Glass: The Middle World
SCENE I
CARRIE and ANGELA are in their house’s bathroom, with Carrie holding a drill with the drill resting on the counter in front of the bathroom mirror. Angela stands nearby, looking exasperated.
ANGELA
(Sighs) C’mon, Carrie, this is a stupid idea. Your theory will be proved wrong and Dad will just be mad at you for stealing his drill and busting up the bathroom mirror. He’ll be back in only an hour, and then-
CARRIE
Oh, that reminds me. (Pulls a small piece of paper out of her pocket and hands it to Angela) This is a note to leave for our parents if- I mean when I depart for the Looking Glass World.
ANGELA
The “Looking Glass World?†Seriously, Carrie, you are 12 years old. Your greatest ambition should be to become a vet or something, not to be the first person to visit this “World†of yours.
CARRIE
Number one, the Looking Glass World is almost certainly real, and number two, I’m not the first person to visit it.
ANGELA
Oh yeah? Who was then?
CARRIE
Lewis Carroll, of course.
ANGELA
(Sarcastically) Oh yes. Of course.
CARRIE
Well, you’ll be eating your words in a moment, Angie. (She picks up the drill and presses it against the mirror. She pulls the trigger and begins to slice through the glass)
ANGELA
Oh my god, Carrie. You aren’t seriously doing this.
CARRIE
Face it, Sis. I am. (Carrie drills a little while longer then pulls the drill out of the hole) Okay, I’m gonna look in. Be prepared.
ANGELA
Oh, I am. (Mutters) For your total failure and embarrassment. (Normal Voice) Don’t get glass slivers in your eye.
(Carrie puts her eye up to the hole)
CARRIE
Hmm hmm hmm… Yep, def- WHOA! (She pulls her eye away from the hole, with an expression of joyous disbelief)
ANGELA
Lemme guess. You found the “Looking Glass World.†(She’s still skeptical but a little interested now) Let’s see. (She walks over to the hole) (Pauses as she looks) Uh, Carrie, I’m pretty sure that’s just the mirror back.
CARRIE
No it’s not! (She nudges Angela aside and sticks her finger into the hole) O Spirits of the Portal Between the Worlds, allow me passage into your realm.
ANGELA
Okay, it’s official. You’re crazy. Maybe I should call a psy- (She glances up in time to see Carrie be sucked into the hole) O. M. G. (She exits stage left, running with Carrie’s note in her outthrust hand.)
SCENE II
CARRIE is deposited in a dark, rather barren landscape, landing on her feet. She dusts herself off a bit, then straightens up.
CARRIE
Wow. So this is the Looking Glass World. I must say, it looks way different than what I imagined. (She takes a few steps forward then CRASH! An enormous, blue-and-gray object lands in front of her. Carrie leans back, frightened. The object unfolds into some sort of creature.)
CALUDEN
Who are you?
CARRIE
I-I’m Carrie.
CALUDEN
Where have you come from?
CARRIE
B-back there. (Points behind her) I come from the Real World, and I am honored to visit the Looking Gla-
CALUDEN
(Snarls) This isn’t the Looking Glass World.
CARRIE
It isn’t? Where am I, then?
CALUDEN
This is the Middle World. It is a Barrier World between the Real World and the Looking Glass World. The inhabitants of Middle World call it Barareken.
CARRIE
Well, then, I’m honored to visit Barrack… Bareark…
CALUDEN
Buh-RAR-eh-kin. You don’t have to call it that. Climb on my back. (Carrie does so, suspicious)
CARRIE
Where are we going? What are you?
CALUDEN
I am Caluden, a Gablun. We are going to Sichorich, Barareken’s capital city. It is not far for a Gablun.
CARRIE
Why are we going there?
CALUDEN
You must appear before the Council of Barareken.
CARRIE
What? I need to-
CALUDEN
Hush, child. You do not know the ways of Barareken. The Council shall tell you how to return, among other things.
CARRIE
Can’t just go back the way I came?
CALUDEN
No, you cannot. The Portals between the Worlds are all one-way.
CARRIE
Well, alright.
CALUDEN
Hang on tightly, girl. (Caluden begins to gallop, exiting the stage to one side at a fast pace.)
WARNING: LONG POST. Reposting all of my script, if anyone feels like reading it, which they shan’t. I’ll have more soonish…. putting in Pseudonym and bookgirl_me, anyone else? Do you want me to change any pairings or anything?
(SCENE: a backyard, with a few trees and a swingset in it. There is the edge of a deck over to the right; a bird feeder stands in the center.)
(ROSEQUARTZ is sitting in one of the swings, kicking the ground.)
VOICE from offstage: Hannah! Time for school!
ROSEQUARTZ: (quietly) Oh, meh. (reluctantly, louder) Coming…
(She jumps off of the swing and trudges in the direction of the bird feeder.)
VOICE: Hurry up!
ROSEQUARTZ: Coming!
(ROSEQUARTZ starts walking faster. Suddenly, she trips and falls to the ground.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Ow!
(Getting up, she notices the large crystal she has tripped over and picks it up.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Oh my gosh! A perfect rose quartz crystal! This is so amazing! But what’s it doing here?
VOICE: You’re gonna be late for History!
ROSEQUARTZ: Gah. I hate history. I wish I didn’t have to go to school… and I could just do whatever I wanted…. and have a real adventure for once.
(She picks up the crystal and is about to put it in her pocket when it suddenly starts glowing. She shields her eyes; when she looks again, she is standing on a deserted city street. Everything is suspiciously hot pink. A poster, blowing in the wind, detaches itself from a telephone pole and blows up against her feet.)
ROSEQUARTZ: What the… where the heck am I?
(She notices the poster, picks it up, and reads it aloud.)
ROSEQUARTZ: “The Resistance wants you? Help stop the Bunny Apocalypse?†You can’t mean to tell me that the bunnies are real?
AVALONGIRL: (from offstage) Oh yeah, they’re real all right.
(AVALONGIRL steps out of the shadows and walks up to ROSEQUARTZ.)
ROSEQUARTZ: (staring) Are you… AvalonGirl? But I thought you’d be… uh… shorter in real life. You’re taller than me!
AVALONGIRL: That’s because I amAvalonGirl, duh. We can transform into our blogselves and any of our RPG characters here, you know.
ROSEQUARTZ: Really? Just by thinking about them or something?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, no. You have to wish.
ROSEQUARTZ: Wish? You mean… (slowly understanding) Is that how you got here too?
AVALONGIRL: Yup. (holding up a small object) I found this walking home from school yesterday.
ROSEQUARTZ: (looking closer) Is that…
AVALONGIRL: Uh-huh. It’s a mini HPB. I was going to destroy the caking thing, but I forgot that I’d put it in my pocket and wished I didn’t have to do my evil math homework… I think I put something about fighting bunnies in there too… hey, what can I say? I get bored.
ROSEQUARTZ: (sarcastically) Oh, thanks for that. I really had fighting bunnies in mind when I said an adventure.
(ROSEQUARTZ pulls the crystal out of her pocket.)
ROSEQUARTZ: I found this in my backyard this morning when I was trying to avoid going to school. Wished I didn’t have to, and poof! (waving her hand) I’m here. So is anyone else stuck in this… whatever?
AVALONGIRL: Oh yes, there’re a bunch of bloggers here. (hinting) But… uh… most of them are their blogselves or characters by now…
ROSEQUARTZ: Oh. Right. Okay, I wish I could be Kirianne from Sci Fi.
(The crystal in ROSEQUARTZ’s hand starts to glow. Her fingernails paint themselves silver, and tall boots start to appear on her feet.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Um, I said Kirianne, not Sailor Moon… although of course I really wouldn’t mind being Sailor Moon. It’d be nice.
(Theme music immediately plays.)
ROSEQUARTZ: Uh-oh. I didn’t mean that! Really!
(There is no change. Giggling, AVALONGIRL starts to sing the theme song with the actual vocals in the background. A lyric book appears in her hand.)
AVALONGIRL: (singing) Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight…
ROSEQUARTZ: Shut up!
AVALONGIRL: Sailor Venus…Sailor Mercury… Sailor Mars…Sailor Jupiter…
(The swirls around her begin to change.)
ROSEQUARTZ: (in a last attempt to stop the Sailor Scout transformation) KIRIANNE! FROM SCI FI!
AVALONGIRL: Sailor Venus!
ROSEQUARTZ: KIRIANNE!
AVALONGIRL: SAILOR VENUS!
(The light coming from the crystal has become a large glowing ball about the size of a grapefruit above ROSEQUARTZ’s head. It appears to be confused.)
ROSEQUARTZ: KIRIANNE! Please!
AVALONGIRL: No! SAILOR VENUS!
(ZINC comes running onstage.)
ZINC: What are you guys arguing about?
ROSEQUARTZ: Kirianne!
AVALONGIRL: Sailor Venus!
ZINC: MISA!
(The glowing ball of light appears to have made up its mind. It swirls around ROSEQUARTZ; when it clears, she has transformed into MISA.)
MISA (RQ): Oh, thanks, guys!
(She claps her hands over her mouth.)
MISA (RQ): I meant that sarcastically! Ugh, my voice is so weird….
(ZINC and AVALONGIRL snicker loudly.)
AVALONGIRL: Hey, I know practically nothing about Death Note, but this is still hilarious!
MISA (RQ): Okay, can I just turn back now? Please?
(There is no response from the crystal.)
ZINC: (snicker) Now all we need is Light!
MISA (RQ): NO! (Gasps) IwishIcouldbeKiriannefromSciFiandnooneinterruptmethistime!
(The crystal glows again, and when it’s stopped KIRIANNE is standing where MISA used to be.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Finally. Now. Where are these bunnies we’re fighting?
ZINC: Come on, I’ll show you where the base is.
(ZINC leads KIRIANNE to an abandoned-looking building.)
ZINC: We’re here! (knocks on the door) New recruit!
ENCELADUS: (from behind the door) Who is it?
KIRIANNE (RQ): It’s RQ… Kirianne, really, I guess, since my real self isn’t exactly the greatest bunny fighter.
(The door swings open, and ENCELADUS ushers them in.)
SCENE TWO
(SCENE: an abandoned warehouse, with a few dusty crates lying around.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Uh…. It looks uninhabited to me…
ZINC: Oh, no, it isn’t. Enc, would you like to do the honors?
ENCELADUS: Sure.
(ENCELADUS snaps his fingers twice, and a futuristic-looking remote with one button on it shoots down from the ceiling. He takes it out of the air and motions the others into a certain spot.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Uhh, why exactly do we have to stand here? And why exactly do we have to stand so close together? Someone’s lightsaber is poking me.
(She claps her hands over her mouth, realizing what she’s just said.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I guess I’m getting used to this faster than I thought I would!
ZINC: Yeah, it’s really quite easy. Just don’t think about what you could actually do with your talisman, and you’re good.
KIRIANNE (RQ) and AVALONGIRL: (in unison, AVALONGIRL laughs) Too late.
ZINC: Yeah, I know. Have you guys actually done any of the stuff you wanted to? I haven’t. It’s extremely tempting, but I haven’t.
KIRIANNE (RQ): How long have you been here?
ZINC: A day. I found my talisman yesterday morning, outside the school. I tripped over it…
KIRIANNE (RQ): Me too. I found mine this morning in my backyard.
AVALONGIRL: I haven’t done anything either, but I was planning to and I still will… oh, and for once I didn’t trip over mine. I found it on the sidewalk. So ha. (crosses her arms)
ENCELADUS: Are you done chatting? Can I take us down now?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Why can’t we chat while we, uh, go down?
ZINC: Oh, you’ll see, believe me…
(ENCELADUS pushes the button, and the section of floor disappears. RQ’s drawn-out scream is heard.)
SCENE THREE
(SCENE: the Resistance base. A large central area with a bunch of catwalks on different levels; there are doors along some of them, others overlook different training areas.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): …Wow.
AVALONGIRL: …Yeah. It’s a little overwhelming at first, huh? Well, it still is, but it’s mostly when you first get here.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Can we do that again?
ZINC: Fun, huh? Most people freak out on that thing.
AVALONGIRL: Don’t remind me-I almost fainted. It reminded me of the Tower of Terror. I don’t like the Tower of Terror… (grabs onto ENCELADUS for support, as he’s closest to her)
(SUDORANDOM and ARMADA are seen running towards AVALONGIRL, KIRIANNE, ZINC and ENCELADUS.)
ARMADA: RQ! Hi!
SUDORANDOM: Hi!
KIRIANNE (RQ): You guys recognized me? Wow. I don’t look a thing like I do in real life, if my character transformation was right…
ARMADA: I recognized your character. Besides, who else would have a rose quartz crystal sticking out of her pocket?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Very true. (turning to SUDORANDOM) You haven’t said much…
SUDORANDOM: (chanting) RQ likes I-Man, RQ likes I-Man… that better?
KIRIANNE (RQ): (rolling her eyes) No. Not really. Thanks anyway.
SUDORANDOM: You’re welcome! (turns to Zinc) Hi, Zinc! Is there anyone else coming that I know?
ZINC: I think MissSwann and Sequoia are due to show up pretty soon, yes.
ARMADA: Ooh. Yay. More people we Kokonvened with!
KIRIANNE (RQ): (suddenly dawning on her) Sudo…
SUDORANDOM: Yeeeees?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Is I-Man here? Did he hearyou? Because if he did, I will….
SUDORANDOM: (cutting her off) No, I haven’t seen him. D’you think I would have said that if I had?
(ARMADA and KIRIANNE look at each other. At nearly the same time…)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yes.
ARMADA: Yes.
SUDORANDOM: Besides, he knows it’s not true… remember Quotations?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Oh. Yes. Phew. That would have been embarrassing…
ENCELADUS: (breaking in) So! Do you want to see the rest of the base?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Sure!
(All of them walk over to a glass elevator, and ZINC pushes the up button. The doors promptly open and they get in.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Squee! I love glass elevators!
(SUDORANDOM smacks the lower half of the glowing buttons.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): “Let’s short out the electricity!†Teehee. Let me help you with that. (smacks top buttons)
AVALONGIRL, ZINC, ENCELADUS: What? I thought I was the craziest person here!
AVALONGIRL: Jinx!
SUDORANDOM: Jinx, jinx, jinx, you owe me a soda, jinx, j— mmph!
(ARMADA and KIRIANNE clap their hands over his mouth, then quickly take them away, exclaiming “Ewww!â€.)
ZINC: Is he always this annoying?
(one after the other, very quickly)
ARMADA: Yes.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yes.
SUDORANDOM: Hey!
ZINC: Ah, don’t worry, that’s a compliment.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Zinc, you know he’s always this annoying. You’ve talked to him.
ZINC: Yeah, and he wasn’t this annoying! Must be your influence, RQ.
SUDORANDOM: See, RQ? Zinc agrees with me!
ZINC: (continuing as if SUDORANDOM has never said anything) I mean, the only time I remember him being annoying is that one time when we were discussing Death Note…
SUDORANDOM: That was for your own good! You two are complete addicts!
ZINC, KIRIANNE (RQ): (in unison) We know.
SUDORANDOM: Jin—
(This time ZINC joins them in making him be quiet; they carefully avoid touching his mouth.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): So, how awful did I look as Misamisa, anyway? Manga transformations must be kinda hard.
ZINC: Actually, you looked just like her.
KIRIANNE (RQ): You were kidding about Light, riiiight?
AVALONGIRL: Hey, that wasn’t me, I’m not a Death Note person, tha-
KIRIANNE (RQ): I KNOW! Zinc?
ZINC: Yeah, pretty much. If I were going to conjure up some character from Death Note, it’d be L. Or Mello. Or Matt.
KIRIANNE (RQ): L! Not Mello! PleasenotMello!
AVALONGIRL: (steps more towards SR) I’mnotaDeathNotepersonI’mnotadeathNoteperson… (chants to herself)
ZINC: Why don’t you like Mello, anyway?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Because—
SUDORANDOM: SHUT UP! Please! Before I go insane!
ARMADA: Ooh, SR’s gonna go insane? I want to see this. (to KIRIANNE and ZINC) I’d choose L, definitely. Although, would that work? Since…
ZINC, KIRIANNE (RQ): (in unison) Shhh! You’ll spoil it for SudoRandom!
SUDORANDOM: Not you too, Armada!
(KIRIANNE, ZINC and ARMADA look at each other, then put their hands in the pockets that hold their talismans,)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I wish…
ZINC: (laughing a little) I wish L…
ARMADA: Was…
SUDORANDOM: Noooooo!
(long pause)
SUDORANDOM: Oh good, nothing happened.
ZINC: This elevator’s too crowded already. Whaddya think would happen if we stuck someone else in it?
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yeah, we’re saving your torture for later, SR.
ARMADA: (laughing) I’m just picturing SR’s face if we actually did this…
ZINC: Wait, I thought we were planning to.
SUDORANDOM: NO! PLEASE!
AVALONGIRL: IhavenothingtodowithDeathNoteIhavenothingtodowithDeathNote… (continues to chant to herself)
ENCELADUS: (calmly) The elevator has now stopped at every single floor and no one has gotten out. So I’m assuming the tour is off. Wanna go train? This is the stop, if you do…
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yeah, sure! I wanna shoot some bunnies!
AVALONGIRL: Me too! Lead the way, ‘Ladus—oops, sorry, Enceladus.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Have you been here before?
AVALONGIRL: Nah, not this one. I’ve been to a couple of other ones, though. Come on, I want out of this elevator!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Meh, it’s not that bad.
AVALONGIRL: I-I’ll fake being claustrophobic if I have to be in here one minute more with you DN addicts…
KIRIANNE (RQ): Oh, not you too…
(They walk down the catwalk that the elevator door has opened onto.)
SCENE 4
(SCENE: a platform with no railing, overlooking… nothingness. A dead-eyed bunny robot waits to be activated.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Ooh, this’ll be fun! Where’s my blaster?
ARMADA: Right over here. (motions at a bin sitting on the edge)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Goody!
(She runs fearlessly over to the bin and grabs a blaster.)
AVALONGIRL: (picking up a lightsaber) …You aren’t afraid of anything, are you.
(She turns on the lightsaber and starts waving it around, practicing stances.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Aaaah! (jumps away) Don’t get that thing near me! I seem to have developed a phobia of lightsabers. Waaaa! (ducks)
AVALONGIRL: You serious? You’re gonna need to be able to fight with one of these!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Oh, god no. I could never do that. (ducks and twists away) Ack! Gettitawayfrommeeeee!
AVALONGIRL: So… are you scared of these because they’re sharp and pointy and could cut your head off? On the one hand I don’t blame you, but on the other…. That doesn’t sound like you, RQ.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Meh, it has nothing to do with that. If you gave me a regular sword I’d be fine.
ARMADA: So what is the problem?
KIRIANNE (RQ): It could burn me! Kyaa! (flattens to the ground)
AVALONGIRL: (turning off the lightsaber) Uh, Ladus? I think we have a problem.
ENCELADUS: You’re telling me…
SUDORANDOM: I suppose we could just keep her away from all lightsabers….
ZINC: That wouldn’t work. What would she do in a battle?
ARMADA: …Duck?
AVALONGIRL: (laughs hysterically)
SUDORANDOM: “Goddag, and!â€
ARMADA: (laughs)
(MISSSWANN and SEQUOIA come running down the catwalk, panting, with FIREH trailing them.)
MISSSWANN: Did someone say “Goddag, and?â€
SEQUOIA: SudoRandom? (pause) Armada? RQ? (pointing at the correct people)
ARMADA: Nice! Yup, you got it right.
SUDORANDOM: We’re just trying to figure out how to cure RQ’s crippling fear of lightsabers.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Maybe if I transformed into someone who’s good with a lightsaber? Would that help?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, like you’ve had great experiences with THAT, RQ.
(MISSSWANN, FIREH and SEQUOIA look confused.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): I was Misafied. Zinc’s fault.
FIREH: Fireh was Misafied too!
KIRIANNE (RQ): Did you, by any chance, turn into her?
FIREH: You DID? Woah.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Yup. I was almost…. (counting on fingers) Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus, too.
FIREH: Uh, what?
(FIREH, SEQUOIA and MISSSWANN stare at KIRIANNE.)
KIRIANNE (RQ): Avalon’s fault.
FIREH: Oh… I see. I think.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Hey, at least you’re un-Misafied….
FIREH: Oh yeah! I am, aren’t I.
KIRIANNE (RQ): How bad was it?
FIREH: All day yesterday….
AVALONGIRL: (edges away from FIREH) Yeah, you were fairly creepy at that point.
KIRIANNE (RQ): Ooh, yikes.
(The others start arguing about how to cure RQ’s phobia in the background.)
FIREH: Yeah, I know. Fireh’s…. I mean, my sister is a Death Note addict.
KIRIANNE (RQ): I am too! And so is Zinc!
ZINC: (turning from the others) Did someone call me?
KIRANNE (RQ): Not exactly, but now that I have your attention…. I wish I could be Celeste from BA!
ZINC: Uh, are you sure that’s a good…
(The light clears, and KIRIANNE has transformed into CELESTE.)
ZINC: Idea…. (sigh)
(AVALONGIRL rolls her eyes and watches CELESTE.)
CELESTE (RQ): Now, let’s see if I can handle that lightsaber. (picking it up) Here goes… (turning it on) Wow, I’m actually not scared of it! (waves it around experimentally) Awesome! (flicks it off) Whoa. (turns into MAIA)
MAIA (RQ): Where am I? What’s going on?
AVALONGIRL: Oh, cake, she’s turned into Maia…
MAIA (RQ): What do you mean? Wasn’t I always Maia?
ZINC: I TOLD you that wasn’t a good idea?
MAIA (RQ): What wasn’t?
ZINC: Tur—Never mind. Say this for me, OK? “I wish I could be Julianne from BA.â€
MAIA (RQ): Whyy— (turns into KIYARRA)
KIYARRA (RQ): Why should I say that?
AVALONGIRL: Uh-oh. Do you see that glint in her eyes?
KIYARRA (RQ): What… glint?
ZINC: You’re right. Cake.
(KIYARRA suddenly turns back into MAIA.)
MAIA (RQ): What just happened?
ZINC: Nothing, just say what I told you to say! Please!
MAIA (RQ): Okay…. I wish I could be Julianne from BA… aah!
(MAIA transforms into JULIANNE.)
JULIANNE (RQ): Ah. That’s better. Thanks, Zinc.
AVALONGIRL: (sighs) And we told you it wasn’t a good idea, so why’d-
JULIANNE (RQ): YOU never said that it wasn’t a good idea! That was Zinc, and she said it too late, anyway.
(There is a beep from ENCELADUS’s pocket. He pulls out a small communicator and pushes a button.)
ENCELADUS: Yes?
JJ: (from communicator) H-hi, Enc. This is, um, Jjjetplanegirlw/cats. We have a new recruit… I think.
ENCELADUS: What do you mean, you think? Hasn’t en made up ens mind?
JJ: Um, well… actually, he’s convinced someone’s playing an elaborate joke on him.
FISHY: (distant voice through the communicator, which he isn’t very close to) What’s that? Is it an odd version of a cell phone? It looks like something out of Star Trek!
JJ: (to FISHY) It’s a communicator. I told you, things are a little… different here. Why do you still not believe me?
FISHY: That’s it, this must be some kind of weird Star Trek cosplay. And… uh… maybe you kidnapped me because—er—
JJ: (to ENCELADUS) You see? We need you down here. Like, now.
(ENCELADUS flips his communicator shut and starts to walk toward the elevator. Everyone else looks at each other, shrugs, and follows him.)
ARMADA: Hey RQ, are you going to stay Julianne the whole rest of the time?
JULIANNE (RQ): Meh, can you think of anything better?
ARMADA: Well, you’re not exactly going to be very good at, uh, anything in that form.
JULIANNE (RQ): True, but she’s my oldest character, and I might need the age factor at some point.
ARMADA: Like when?
(JULIANNE takes a moment to think about this, then nods.)
JULIANNE (RQ): Yeah, you’re right, but I’m getting really tired of transforming!
ARMADA: Why?
JULIANNE (RQ): Have you tried it?
ARMADA: Well, no.
JULIANNE (RQ): Okay then. Try… oh, I don’t know. Who do you want to transform into?
ARMADA: I suppose… I wish I could be Kaye.
JULIANNE (RQ): And I’ll be… hmm. Might as well be someone who has her own superpowers, right? I wish I could be Rei Hino!
(There is a flash as they reach the end of the catwalk, and by the time they get to the elevator, ARMADA has transformed into KAYE and JULIANNE has transformed into REI HINO. All of them head into the elevator; ENCELADUS quickly pushes a button that says “G,†and the elevator shoots down.)
AVALONGIRL: Oh, meh, I should have thought of that, RQ…Rei…whatever, as long as you don’t do dub character names.
REI: Why don’t you just call me Rei for now.
AVALONGIRL: Fine, I wish I could be Sakura from Naruto Shippuden. (transforms)
ENCELADUS: Woah! No more transforming here, guys! It’s way too crowded!
KAYE: Yeah, uh, Sakura, your talisman shoved me into the wall just now…
(The elevator doors open, and everyone tries to get out at once. SAKURA and REI shove their way out first, glaring at each other a little; the others follow them onto the patch of floor that is the warehouse elevator.)
ENCELADUS: Not everyone at once, people! Some of you have to get off! This thing can barely fit four!
FIREH: Can I stay? (bats eyelashes) Pwease?
ENCELADUS: Uh, sure. Okay. RQ, AvalonUmbrawhatever, you stay too.
REI: Rei-chan, please. I’m trying to get used to this form.
SAKURA: (glaring) Sakura-sama. I. Want. RESPECT!
(They put their backs together, and ENCELADUS pushes the button. The elevator shoots up; about halfway through, REI and SAKURA appear to get bored with it and jump up to the edge. The others reach the top a few seconds later.)
FIREH: You didn’t have to do that, you two. We know you have superpowers. And ninja powers. And whatever.
(They walk to the door, which ENCELADUS opens to find JJ and FISHY still arguing.)
FISHY: …But how do you know my blogname? That’s what I want to know. If this is some cosplay thing, how come you’re calling me Fishy and not Jake? For that matter, how do you know me?
JJ: I told you! Tracking devices!
FISHY: And I told YOU that’s creepy! Are you some kind of stalker or something?
JJ: NO! We’re—
(ENCELADUS coughs loudly. JJ and FISHY spin around to face him; FISHY looks confused, JJ slightly flustered and rather nervous.)
ENCELADUS: The trackers aren’t on you, they’re on your talismans.
FISHY: What talismans?
ENCELADUS: Oh, I don’t know, like the little fish you bought yesterday? You know, I bet if you went back to that store, you couldn’t find it again…
FISHY: You ARE stalkers! You had a hidden camera!
ENCELADUS: No, actually, we put the store there for you to find. Well, mostly KaiYves did, but JJ and I helped.
FISHY: Really. This isn’t funny.
FIREH: It granted your wish, you know… and it can grant any wish. Watch this! (pulling out her talisman, a small ornament) I wish I could be… Misa!
REI: Oh, not again…
(FIREH transforms into MISA.)
FISHY: (staring for a second) Cool stage effects, but I don’t believe you.
SAKURA: No. More. Death Note! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!
ENCELADUS: I wish I could be Data!
(ENCELADUS tranforms into DATA.)
ENCELADUS: Very intriguing. I shall have to study the mechanisms involved in these transformations in more detail. Perhaps KaiYves can assist me when we return to the base.
(SUDORANDOM and ZINC arrive, arguing about something-or-other; KAYE and MISSSWANN follow, chatting. A few seconds later, SEQUOIA walks out with PEARY MOPPINS and KAIYVES.)
REI: Really! How can you not believe us after that? Fine… MARS PLANET POWER MAKEUP!
(REI turns into SAILOR MARS.)
SAILOR MARS: FIRE SOUL! (shoots fire, narrowly missing SAKURA)
SAKURA: Hey, watch it! (blasts energy back at SAILOR MARS)
SAILOR MARS: My fire is better than yours!
SAKURA: That’s ‘cause mine isn’t fire! (kicks at SAILOR MARS, narrowly missing)
SAILOR MARS: Oh yeah? Well, I think your powers are lame! And you have PINK hair, for cake’s sake! (punches SAKURA, who ducks)
SAKURA: Well, I like it! YOUR hair is boring. (punches back)
SAILOR MARS: Oh really? I’ve always wanted it this long! And straight! (kicks SAKURA off-balance)
FISHY: I… I still don’t believe you! And I’ll prove that all this is some elaborate joke or something. I wish I could be Edward! See, nothing happ—aah!
(FISHY transforms into EDWARD.)
SAILOR MARS: Okay, I think I just proved that firepowers are much more awesome. Hah. (transforms into REI)
EDWARD: Well, that proved it. Hey, at least it’s nice here… lots of pretty ladies! (winking in REI and SAKURA’s direction)
REI: Do you expect me to faint or something? I have a boyfriend.
SAKURA: Me too, weirdo. I’m not in the mood for romantic pairings right now.
EDWARD: Actually, I was talking about her. (pointing at KAYE)
KAYE: Ew. Get lost, creep.
EDWARD: Okay… whatever… (turning away)
REI: (to SAKURA) Do you really have a boyfriend?
SAKURA: Uh, kinda…
REI: Yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about. (conspiratorial wink) Did you see the way Fishy was looking at Armada? (laugh)
SAKURA: Yeah, that was a little… heh. Poor her.
REI: Poor her…
(The two girls link arms and walk into the base together.)
KAIYVES: (muttering) Why is everyone transformed but me? Oh, fine. I wish I could be Delta V from Superheroes and Mary Sues. (transforms into DELTA V)
PEARY MOPPINS: (shaking head vehemently) I’m not transforming. No way! I like my own form just fine.
JJ: I’m with ya there, Peary. Although—(panicked look in DATA’s direction) I- I don’t mind other people transforming! Not at all!
DELTA V: Ah, lighten up, guys. Being a superhero is FUN, even if I am a dysfunctional one. And I love the outfit! (twirls)
EDWARD: (turning to DELTA V) Me too. Looks great on you, darlin’. (winks and turns back around)
DELTA V: Thanks! (blushes)
PEARY MOPPINS: (elbows DELTA V) Psst. I’m guessing he says stuff like that to all the girls.
JJ: Yeah. As Edward he does, anyway. I liked him a lot better as Fishy, but I bet now he’s too full of himself to even want to change back!
DELTA V: So? That doesn’t make it any less flattering… (giggles)
PEARY MOPPINS: (to JJ) I think Kai’s lost it.
JJ: I blame Edward.
PEARY MOPPINS: Me too.
DELTA V: Oh, stop it. (turning) Data! Or Enc! Whoever! Come back to the base and help with my latest experiment!
JJ: That’s better.
PEARY MOPPINS: Much.
(DATA walks towards DELTA V, and they both go inside. JJ and PEARY MOPPINS race to catch up.)
MISA: Hey, Enc! Wait up! (starts to run after DATA)
MISSSWANN: (jumping in front of her) Uhh, Fireh? Aren’t you going to turn back now?
MISA: Oh. Right. (whining) But I like this outfit!
SEQUOIA: Then just ask to keep it!
MISA: Oh! Yeah! Thanks! (runs in, yelling her wish as she does so)
SEQUOIA: (to MISSSWANN) Do you want to run after her and, ah, mention that that outfit isn’t exactly the most practical one for what we’re doing?
MISSSWANN: Nah, she’ll be fine. Sailor Mars’s outfit is less practical, anyway, and she fights evil in it all the time.
SEQUOIA: Very true. I just hope RQ can manage in those heels…
(The two of them walk in. KAYE starts to follow them, but EDWARD puts his hand on her arm.)
EDWARD: (in what he obviously thinks is a sexy purr) I never caught your name.
KAYE: It’s Kaye. Can I go now? (shakes him off)
EDWARD: Wait! Don’t you want a kiss goodbye? (winking)
KAYE: Ew. Get AWAY from me. I don’t feel like dealing with you at the moment, okay? Just… shoo. Bye! (waves hand in shooing motion)
EDWARD: Aw, come on, you know you want me….
KAYE: Actually, what I want is to get away from you. Which I will do right… now. (kicks EDWARD in the leg and runs into the base)
EDWARD: Hey, wait!
KAYE: (over her shoulder) No way! Pervert!
(She slams the door in his face. He yanks it open and keeps chasing her. ZINC and SUDORANDOM watch them go, then both burst out laughing.)
ZINC: Jeez, I feel really bad for her… what a creep.
SUDORANDOM: Ah, don’t worry, they’ll end up together in the end!
ZINC: …ew. Why?
SUDORANDOM: Because the characters that hate each other and argue a lot always end up together.
ZINC: And here goes the Master of Clichés again…
SUDORANDOM: What? It’s true!
ZINC: Yeah, sure, whatever. I still can’t really imagine them together.
SUDORANDOM: Edward’ll shape up at some point. Probably.
ZINC: I doubt it.
SUDORANDOM: He will!
ZINC: No, he WON’T. And there is no way Armada could like him, anyway.
SUDORANDOM: Exactly! Opposites attract and all that! Arguing makes them cloooserrrr!
ZINC: Uh… (realizing something) Kyaa! No way! (races inside)
SUDORANDOM: What was that all about?…. Oh. Whoops.
(((Something)) shows time passing ((can’t think of anything… help, guys?)). Three days later….)
SCENE 5
(SCENE: The main area of the base. A bunch of people are gathered around something on the floor.)
FIREH: Awww, they’re so cute!
SILVER LINING: Adorable!
PEARY MOPPINS: What are?
FIREH: Wungs!
PEARY MOPPINS: Wait, you have wungs?
SILVER LINING: Yeah! Right here, see? (holding up a small furry thing) There are five of them!
(REI walks in; she sees the furry thing and stops short, turning to DATA who has just walked in behind her.)
REI: Please tell me that’s a wung.
DATA: Actually, that is a creature known as a Tribble. Starfleet first encountered them on Stardate—
REI: Data-san! We’re not in Starfleet!
DATA: Yes, I am aware of that. However—
REI: Look. I don’t want to know when Starfleet first encountered them. I want to know how to get rid of them. Okay?
(Before DATA has a chance to answer, DELTA V walks in.)
DELTA V: Data! We have a problem!
REI: There’s another one, right over there. Someone let TRIBBLES in here, and when I find en, I am going to torture en.
DELTA V: Oh. Great. Just what we need, when Sakura, SilverLeopard, Daisy*chain and bluefire27 have disappeared.
REI: Oh no! V-chan, we have to find them!
DELTA V: I know. Funny, it sounds almost familiar, like they’ve been missing before…
REI: Oh my gosh! They have! Data, find every copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the base.
(DATA nods and rushes off.)
DELTA V: Do you think—
REI: Yes, V-chan! It’s another plot twist.
DELTA V: We seem to be having a lot of those lately. Luckily they’re all familiar. (mumbling) And I’m Delta V, not Sailor Venus…
REI: I know, V-chan, but I prefer to call you that.
DELTA V: RQ, why do you insist on adding Japanese extensions to everyone’s names?
REI: I think it’s partly my character coming out and partly because it’s fun. (giggles)
DELTA V: Er, yeah, sure, whatever. Anyway, what do—
(Suddenly, AVALONGIRL appears in the middle of the room, looking confused.)
AVALONGIRL: Huh? This is definitely not where I thought I’d be. What’s going on?
REI: Errr, Mira-chan? What are you doing here, and why aren’t you Sakura?
AVALONGIRL: Why would I be Sakura? And hey, are you RQ? Weren’t you just Kirianne?
REI: Uh, a WHILE ago. What’s going on? Have you had some weird memory loss as a result of being turned into Luna Lovegood?
AVALONGIRL: Luna Lovegood? When was I turned into Luna Lovegood? I don’t remember that. Except I do remember RPing it on Sci Fi.
REI: What’s the last thing you remember?
AVALONGIRL: The voice telling me to use a teletransporter to get out of that other dimension?
REI: News flash, Mira-chan: we ARE in another dimension.
AVALONGIRL: Oh, cake. Do you mean it didn’t work?
REI: I guess so, yeah… so how are you supposed to get back to this other other dimension now? There’s gonna be two of you here as soon as we get the other you out of OotP. If that made any sense at all.
AVALONGIRL: …it didn’t.
REI: Oh. GREAT.
AVALONGIRL: Aaanyway, I think I’ll transform into Sailor Venus now. (She concentrates for a second, then looks down at herself.) Huh? What happened? I didn’t transform!
REI: The rules are different here. You have to wish. (thinks for a second, then slips her hand in her pocket) I wish I could be Euphie from Code Geass.
(This time there isn’t much of a change. Her hair gets a bit curlier and turns pink; her outfit turns into an old-fashioned dress, and her eyes change to periwinkle blue. She gets a little taller, too.)
AVALONGIRL: Oh-kay, I have no idea who you are, but whatever. I wish I could be Sailor Venus!
(Nothing happens, again.)
AVALONGIRL: It’s not working!
EUPHIE: I think that’s ‘cause this version of you doesn’t have a talisman. Check your pockets anyway, though.
(AVALONGIRL does so and finds nothing.)
EUPHIE: Yup, just as I thought.
(DELTA V comes running in with SAKURA, SILVERLEOPARD, BLUEFIRE27 and DAISY*CHAIN.)
SAKURA: Sorry ‘bout that. I got stuck in… WHOA WHY IS AVALONGIRL STANDING OVER THERE. IS THERE A MIRROR OR SOMETHING. HOLY CAKE.
AVALONGIRL: Uh, are you me by any chance?
SAKURA: Yes. I believe I am. This is really strange. What’s going on, RQ?
EUPHIE: Errr, V-chan? Do you have a teletransporter, by any chance?
DELTA V: Of course. I’ll get AvalonGirl sorted out right away.
(DELTA V and AVALONGIRL exit stage left.)
SILVERLEOPARD: Uh, maybe I should follow them. To make sure everything goes okay.
DAISY*CHAIN: Yeah, good idea. (sideways glance at EUPHIE)
BLUEFIRE27: Mhm. Let’s go.
(They exit stage left as well.)
EUPHIE: I don’t think they knew who I was. (laughs)
SAKURA: Prolly not. Anyway, I’m going to go, too. (exits stage left, waving)
EUPHIE: Greeeeat. Desert me, why don’t you.
(CECILE comes running in.)
CECILE: …uh, Euphie? Huh? Are… you… nevermind.
EUPHIE: Hi, Armada-chan.
CECILE: Oh, phew. It’s not actually Euphie. (grins)
EUPHIE: (laughs) Now all we need is—
(Suddenly, SUZAKU walks in stage left—the way the girls just happened to be facing.)
EUPHIE, CECILE: Suzaku?!
SUZAKU: Eu-phie? Cec—
EUPHIE: Suzaku! I’m so glad you’re here! (runs toward him, then accidentally-on-purpose trips) Oh! Sorry. (not sounding sorry at all, since he’s caught her)
CECILE: Oh! Suzaku! Lloyd was, um, just looking for you. He’s… er… got some modifications to the Lancelot that he wants you to test. But I don’t know where he is… have you seen him lately?
SUZAKU: No, but—
CECILE: Oh. Darn. But anyway, want to come find him with me?
(She blinks her eyes cutely anime-style and waits a couple of seconds, during which time EUPHIE makes no effort to let go of SUZAKU. Finally, CECILE coughs discreetly.) CECILE: …Sub-Viceroy Euphemia, could you get off him now?
EUPHIE: He’s my knight. I don’t have to let him go with you if I don’t want to.
CECILE: But Lloyd might be he—errrr. Suzaku, just come with me, ‘kay?
SUZAKU: He isn’t here, by the way…
(EUPHIE pays no attention to this and continues arguing with CECILE.)
EUPHIE: But he’s MINE! Leave him alone! You can go fangirl Lloyd by yourself. Suzaku said he doesn’t know where Lloyd is, right, Suzaku?
SUZAKU: He’s. Not. Here. Okay, fangirls?
CECILE: Waaaait a second. Something’s not right here.
SUZAKU: You just noticed, Armarmalade?
(EUPHIE jumps away from him, and she and CECILE look at each other.)
EUPHIE, CECILE: Ohcrap. Sudo?
SUZAKU: (laughs) Uh-huh. I figured you two would flip out over this. I just didn’t figure you’d actually be CG characters at the time…
(EUPHIE and CECILE both blush furiously.)
EUPHIE: Errrr. I wish I could be… um… Zoey. Yes. (turns into Zoey with cat ears) See, at least she gets cat ears when she’s embarrassed, right? (mutters) Laugh it off, laugh it off…
I love it! Oh, please write more!
Amazing! I’m going to try my hand at a MuseBlog-Star Trek crossover script. I’ll make it like a Pseudo-three part story arc of Star Trek.
Ok, here’s my MBST crossover.
TEASER:
(Bridge. Data is scanning.)
DATA: Captain? The area of space we are entering seems to be different from the rest of this area.
PICARD: Different? Different how? Geordi, slow to warp 2.
GEORDI: Yes, sir.
DATA: I’m not sure sir. There is no space debris to be found, and there are uncharted stars and planets. I’m not sure what to make of it.
PICARD: We are in the Beta sector, after all. The Federation haven’t charted most of it.
DATA: There have been rudimentary scans, the patterns of stars do not appear to fit. It’s confusing, to say the least.
WORF: Sir, I’m getting another ship, of unknown make, coming toward us off the port bow. It’s traveling at warp 5.
PICARD: Put on main viewer.
(The bunnyborg, see https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1070 appear on main viewer.)
WORF: I am also getting a transmission. Shall I put it on?
PICARD: Yes.
(A bunny, with borg equipment appears.)
BUNNYBORG: We are the bunnyborg. You are humans. You will be destroyed or bunnified and assimilated. Resistance is museless.
(Transmission ends.)
DATA: Sir, they’re firing at us.
PICARD: Deflector sheilds up!
(Cut to outside ships. The bunnyborg fires a pink beam at the Enterprise D. The deflector shields are not activated.)
DATA: No damage has been done to the ship externally, and the beam passed harmlessly through lower decks.
PICARD: Why would they attack us with a thoroughly useless weapon? Check to see if the crew in those decks are ok.
DATA: They are not responding to any communications I attempt.
PICARD: (slaps communicator for intercom) Lower Decks! Are you ok?
(A squealing sound is heard. Everyone plugs their ears.)
PICARD: (turns off communicator) Data, I need a visual on those decks.
DATA: Yes sir.
(A picture of and HPB appears. Other HPBS are seen in the background. They squeal.)
(FADE OUT)
A very small bit more. I shall have even more after I’ve finished my stupid history homework.
SUZAKU: Oooh, perhaps I should be Elliot, then. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Rq?
ZOEY: Oh, shut up, SR.
CECILE: Please do transform, though… just not into Elliot. ‘Kay?
ZOEY: (hastily) Or Mark.
SUZAKU: Okay, okay! I wish I could be… (mumbles something).
ZOEY: Who?
CECILE: What?
AVALONGIRL: (entering stage left) Huh?
(In a flash of blue light, SUZAKU suddenly gets a whole lot taller. And skinnier. And… bonier. He appears to also be holding a scythe.)
AVALONGIRL: Aaaaaaah!
(CECILE and ZOEY stare at each other, then at DEATH’s back. They can only see that whatever Suzaku has transformed into is wearing a black robe.)
ZOEY: Er… what’s… wrong, Mira-chan? And why are you still AvalonGirl?
CECILE: I think a more accurate question would be “Why are you still here,†wouldn’t it? I’m guessing that’s the AG from the other dimension.
AVALONGIRL: Yes… I’m… it’s… he’s… D-death!
ZOEY: Whaaaaat? Turn around, Sudo.
DEATH: I AM NOT SUDORANDOM. I AM DEATH. (AND I LOVE TALKING LIKE THIS.)
ZOEY: Okay… so, you went from anime hottie to anthropomorphic personification. I can deal with this. Totally. Just… warn us the next time you do anything that drastic, would you?
DEATH: OF COURSE.
AVALONGIRL: Errrrr. Anthrowhahuh?
CECILE: Ah, nothing… why are you still here?
AVALONGIRL: Delta V tried to get the teletransporter to work, but all the machines are down. She tried wishing them back, too, but nothing happened.
ZOEY: That’s weird… all the wishes we made have been working. Do you think it’s a field of some sort?
AVALONGIRL: I have no idea, but that’s what Data thinks. So, until he and Delta and JJ can figure out how to fix it, there are going to be two of me to wreak havoc in here! Won’t that be fun?
ZOEY: Er… no, not really.
CECILE: Especially not with Sudo walking around as Death and terrorizing everyone.
ZOEY: But hey, at least the other AvalonGirl isn’t actually AvalonGirl at the moment, right?
AVALONGIRL: True. Meh, that’s no fun. Oh, hey… I know how I could mess everything up!
(Laughing maniacally, she runs off stage left. ZOEY, CECILE and DEATH stare after her.)
DEATH: I HOPE THIS MESS OF HERS DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME. OR DEATH NOTE.
ZOEY: Or Zinc… (giggles)
DEATH: OH, SHUT UP. (stalks off to stage right)
CECILE: Was it just me, or was he stalking rather dramatically just then?
ZOEY: Oh, it wasn’t just you. Anyway, I think we’d better go get rid of those Tribbles now.
CECILE: Tribbles? What Tribbles?
ZOEY: The ones that are probably all over the base by now. (points at a large pile of Tribbles on the floor towards stage right)
CECILE: Well, we could get SR to do a little scythe-waving… (laughs)
ZOEY: Or we could just wish. (steps into the middle of the mass of Tribbles) I wish all the Tribbles in the base were transported onto a Klingon ship that’s just conveniently passing by!
(They wait expectantly. Nothing happens.)
ZOEY: Okay, I wish we had a transporter to get them out with!
(Nothing happens again.)
ZOEY: I wish there was a Klingon ship somewhere in the vicinity?
(Nothing happens.)
CECILE: What we really need right about now is Sudo, or another Death… like Susan. Wish I could be he—oooooops.
(CECILE gets rather a lot taller and more Gothic-looking.)
ZOEY: (laughing hysterically) You’re… you’re… Sudo’s granddaughter! Ahahahahaha—
SUSAN: Shut. Up. I have a scythe and I’m not afraid to use it.
ZOEY: Ahahahaha! Haha—hahahaha—
(Suddenly, ZOEY slumps to the ground. SUSAN tries frantically to wake her up, but realizes that she’s actually asleep when she starts snoring loudly.)
SUSAN: Oh, for crying out loud…
(Suddenly, she claps her hands over her mouth, realizing that the voice—which she can normally control in characters—was most definitely not her own.)
Dun dun DUN…. heheh. I’ll have more after lunch. (This is so fun… XD)
SUSAN: What’s… happening? Something reaaally weird is going on here. Why can’t I remember…. (fluctuating in and out of her normal voice and the character Susan’s normal voice)
(KARINA walks in from stage left, looking imperiously down her nose at everything.)
KARINA: Oh, is Zoey asleep again? (noticing the Tribbles) Oh, ugh. Get Kiki or someone to get those ugly things out of here. They’re dirtying the café.
(She goes over to a convenient café-style table and sits down primly.)
KARINA: Who are you, anyway? You don’t look familiar. Are you a customer? We’re closed.
SUSAN: Er, I don’t—I MEAN, I DON’T HONESTLY KNOW. WHERE AM I?
KARINA: There’s no need to talk like that. I can hear you perfectly well the other way. (shaking ZOEY) ZOEY HANSON! WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!
ZOEY: Nnnnnh. Go ‘way, Mom. ‘Snot timef’r schoolyet.
KARINA: Zoey! Now!
(ZOEY opens her eyes, blinking at the strange light, and stares uncomprehendingly at KARINA for a few seconds.)
ZOEY: Ka…riii…na? What’re you doing—oh no! Did I fall asleep at the café?!
KARINA: Yes, and look at this mess! You’ll have to get these… things… out of here before we open.
ZOEY: You clean it up! You never do any work anyway! …what day is it?
KARINA: (thinks for a second) You know, I honestly don’t know. Does the café look… strange… to you at all?
ZOEY: Yes, very. This isn’t Café Mew Mew at all, is it?
SUSAN: Don’t ask me. All I know is I’ve got a horrid headache from listening to you two. Café what?
ZOEY: Mew Mew.
SUSAN: Can’t say I’ve heard of it. D’you have any idea where on the Disc we are?
KARINA: Disc? What disc? What on Earth are you talking about?
SUSAN: Earth? What’s an earth?
(ZOEY and KARINA stare at SUSAN for a long time, but she doesn’t seem to notice anything wrong.)
KARINA: What’s… an… earth? Are you crazy? It’s where you live, idiot!
SUSAN: I live on the Disc… I mean… I… where am I? What’s going on? How… how did I get here…?
I like. Very much. It’s nice to be branching out from anime a bit… (Not that there’s anything wrong with anime. But anime/Discworld/MB is even better.)
Ok, peoples who want to make the Sci Fi TV show, ideas for a plot?
1: Space Station that’s losing it’s funding. Technology: Mostly ours, except better computers and easier space travel. People will have to move off station, with the most vital people leaving last. Eventually, the characters would dwindle slowly, maybe one every 20 episodes?
2: Spaceship trapped in the past. Technology: Star Trek style. Time period trapped in: Jumping around? Now? 1960’s and is inspiration for Star Trek/ Star Wars and all the alien abductions?
Those are just some of my ideas. I personally favor #1. ‘Twould be interesting.
I think we ought to make certain stylistic decisions first. Such as: Hard or soft sci-fi? A few central characters or a cast of dozens? Monster of the Week or long-term, enigmatic story arc?
Certainly enigmatic story arc. It would be a TV show for thinking, rather than a TV show for money.
I’d prefer it to be Hard Sci-Fi, as it’s more real.
Just for simplicity, It would be easier to have a few central characters. Preferably MuseBloggers who know each other/ live near each other
144.1- Hm. Define hard and soft. I could look them up but I have to go soon (getting yarn for my Doctor Who scarf! -is a geek-). I think…like maybe six or so main characters, with guest supporting actors. Shows with two many characters just get way too confusing. Same with long-term story arcs…but I think there should be a nice blend of story arc and separate adventures. Like, more of a story arc than Doctor Who, but less of one than something like Lost or Heroes.
Hard sci-fi=gritty, realistic, near-future. Firefly is a classic example (although some stuff, like the terraforming, is a bit softer)
Soft sci-fi= far-future, space opera, FTL, time travel kind of deal. Doctor Who is fairly soft, as is Star Trek.
I think we should do Hard SF with a blend of Monster/Problem of the Week and larger continuous arc.
Something like Strange Days at Blake Holsey High, where the grander conspiracy becomes more evident as the episodes progress.
I personally like #2, but that’s just me…..
Oh, you could use me, Armada, Sudo, Pseudonym, you…. Silver Lining? I dunno, people who live in MA. I don’t, but I know a bunch of MBers who do
Yes, yes, we need as many people who know each other in RL as possible.
I also vote hard SF.
OK, hard SF sounds good to me. We shouldn’t use MuseBloggers though, I’m thinking grown-ups.
Can I write too? I like #1 best.
So… how is this going to work? An RRR format probably wouldn’t do well for an episodic TV script, as RRRs tend to ramble. Perhaps we could come up with a concept for the entire show cooperatively, and then one or two of us could work on an episode (or story arc, to prevent writer-whiplash). The next arc or episode would be handed off to another pair, and so on. “Too many cooks spoil the broth.”
I’ve never written a real script format before (aside from stupid little skits in English and Spanish), not even Script Frenzy. We may want to consult someone who has to prevent us from falling into the same pitfalls, as it were.
#1 seems like it might be too depressing- we know the station will eventually shut down, and there’s a sense of futility to everything the characters do.
Maybe some of them could be working to try and get more funding? The finale (Yes, I’m planning way ahead) could have everyone coming back when the last few people finally convince Congress for more funding.
Yes, combining the space station and conspiracy ideas, the station could be losing funding because accidents keep occurring that convince Congress the station is unsafe and useless, because the crew spend so much time just reacting to the accidents.
As the story progresses, we cut back and forth between the station and Earth, where representatives of a contracting company assure Congress that they can build a much safer station if given the go-ahead.
The “accidents” turn out to be sabotage instigated by the contractor, with layers of involvement appearing gradually, and all kinds of suspicion among the crew. The finale could have the heroes bringing proof of the conspiracy to Congress and saving the project.
This seems like interesting fodder for a single story arc, but I don’t think we could pad it out for a full season.
I do. Remember, we can include other plots. I have an idea brewing about a virus that wipes people’s memories every night.
Also: Aliens or no Aliens? If there are aliens, then are they good or bad. Are there any on the station?
I think we should not have aliens. If we’re trying to be realistic, and the characters make contact with aliens, that alone would give them all the funding they need.
True. Aliens would be hard to do well.
Need any more help?
Note: I think that if we’re going to do this whole script thing we need to NOT turn them into shows because then the only people who could do it would be people who could kokonvene and that would be Unfair.
Well, what we could do is have it on a website, and every actor can put up/ edit their own segments. We can then piece them together using someone’s *coughPOSOCcough* video editing tools.
My video editing skills consist of “fiddling around with the Windows MovieMaker program (which was on the computer which died on me a month ago anyway) until I got something I liked.
153.1- Not really because then none of the actors could interact with anyone…
We could animate it (Cruddy stop-motion) and send in voice recordings.
Or pretty good stop motion. I have a claymation program.
iStopmotion, or something else?
It’s called ‘Claymation’. Real creative name.
Is it for mac?
PC.
Characters: I’m figuring that the station will have mostly human staff. One question, though. Are we going to include religious conflicts? Or more broadly, conflicts that real people will have possibly strong opinions?
Depends on what you mean by religious. If you mean arguing about the existance of God over meals, than sure, but I don’t think people with an exceptional degree of conflict towards one another would be chosen for a long-duration mission on a space station.
Yeah, I know that’d be fine. I was wondering if there would be slight religious tensions between the crew.
Writing together- I’d like to join too. Yes, I’m on the other half of the planet, but I had an Andromeda-inspired idea; can I be the station’s AI? Only appearing on screens, of course
I have an I-movie editing program, though I’m still working on some annoying details. I’ll do the best I can to help.
Let’s try to figure out the seasonal plot first; sitting around loosing funding isn’t enough. Maybe… they have to be up there for a reason, so we have to find something for them to do. I have some ideas;
1# The station is there to gather data from space. Miscellaneous bad guys (can be human or alien) want to stop them because they are on the verge of discovering something. The characters have mixed feelings about this, since they all have different motivations for being on the station. The AI would be against leaving, since, technically being the station and being programmed only to direct it, she would be superfluous on returning to the planet and probably replaced by a newer version. At the end of the first season, the station could seriously mess up time/space, leading too… This could also be a last-ditch revolt against the order to return to earth.
2# The loosing funding project is a plot to take the station out of space and refit it to conquer the world (okay, my second ideas tend to be duds).
Still, I like the idea of an AI for the station; it can also cause some tensions for whether en is a to be considered a person or not.
I could make four or five second screens with my claymation program, and you can string them together correctly.
Another thing: How about the first season finale is discovering you? The people on the ship don’t know you exist/ are a sentient being, and on the last episode, you could reveal yourself.
You could be like Jane in Xenocide!
*looks up Jane*
Part of my idea is that the AI is at first just the “thing” that runs the station, though sooner or later everyone realizes that she actually has a personality too. I have two idea as for her development;
1# She’s a “learning program” and slowly develops a distinct personality and possibly even more human qualities (she’s programmed, among other things, not to question orders and never to lie). In the season finale, she could reveal herself to truly be a sentient by siding with the “good guys” despite being told the contrary or despite not being ordered to act (again, she can’t activate defenses or change anything without being ordered, but she could overcome this as she grows).
2# She’s a person from the start, even more than she should be, but is afraid of showing the crew, since she doesn’t want to be deleted for inadequacy (such as having biased judgement because of emotions). Then she could reveal herself in the end (this would be like Jane).
On one hand, she wouldn’t be hurt by viruses or biological weapons, on the other hand, she can’t disobey orders, e.t.c…, and is not supposed to have any non-essential abilities. Some people can start to find out about her earlier, others might not really notice her other than a helpful program. Those who plan to cut the funding think of her only as a tool, and as she’d been build especially for the station will delete her when it becomes superfluous, since one of her disadvantages is that she needs a lot of power and is capable of individual thought & action.
At first, (This is mostly described in the book) Jane is the “thing” that runs the ansibles. But the idea of accidentally revealing herself by siding with the good guys is cool.
By reveling herself, I take it that you mean it as sentient being. They know that a program is running the station (someone has to give her the orders to activate sensors and send messages and stuff, but she can be called “station” or whatever until discovery), they just don’t know the details.
Yes, I like the first idea a lot. We could have the computer program have a name just out of convinence, like the one used at Space Academy is called “Moriarty”.
Teehee. Moriarty is the holodeck program that becomes sentient in Star Trek TNG, season 2, Episode “Elementary, Dear Data”
Go work on your fanfiction.
I guess some councilors are Star Trek fans.
I’d like to act in this… that’d be fun. What kind of characters would you guys be needing? I’m thinking kind of a Deanna Troi-type character. I love empaths, probably ’cause I am one, so I think there should be one… XD
We’ll probably need a ship’s counselor type person, but not an empath. We’re talking humans on this station.
Ideas for a few characters:
Zoe: Human, female, blond, white. Just transfered to station a few days ago (after show starts). Distressed to find out that Congress is closing it. Engineer. From Northeast US.
Toby: Human, male, black. Is a devout Muslim, and has been on the station a while. Doctor. From North Africa.
I would want a character somewhat like my SF RPG person Zerzura, minus the Martian part. But American engineer of Arab/Russian descent.
I could see this getting very RPG, with all this “my character” stuff. Can’t we just have a cast of characters and not claim any of them? Even though we have a central cast, we could shuffle the roles between us.
I think they’re thinking of actually acting it out, which was not at all what I envisioned. I thought we’d just be writing the scripts for fun.
That’s what i thought too. The acting would be fun, but not really plausible.
Due to how long it will take to write, or just how hard acting would be?
Both, in my opinion, and the fact that only MBers who live really close together (we’re talking closer than Kokon range) would be able to act.
Also, I think finding places to film that look plausibly like the inside of the Capitol building or a space station would be rather hard.
158- Okay, let´s do that. The whole “acting-out” part can come later, if at all.
Good idea.
Ok, so I’ll post this on the fanfic thread and here. It’s a Doctor Who- Star Trek: TNG crossover script. Opinions, please!
(SETTING: The Borg Cube. RIKER, DATA and WORF are exploring the Borg Cube during Q Who. They are right before they turn the corner into the Borg nursery. Suddenly, MARTHA JONES yells quietly)
MARTHA: Ohmigosh! (quieter, in the background) Doctor, look at this!
(RIKER, DATA, and WORF get their phasers out and run over to the Borg nursery.)
(THE DOCTOR and Martha are bending over, looking at something (The Borg baby in the nursery). They talk quietly, slide the baby back in. Martha stands with The Doctor as he begins to scan the area with his sonic screwdriver. He then notices Riker, Data and Worf.)
THE DOCTOR: Hi! (Smiles and continues scanning)
RIKER: Uh… Hi. Who are you?
THE DOCTOR: I’m The Doctor, this is Martha. (Martha waves)
RIKER: How did you get on the Borg vessel?
THE DOCTOR: Just came on my ship.
RIKER: What are you doing?
THE DOCTOR: Scanning. And, I really recommend you don’t distract me anymore. If I was to let my concentration slip, we could be crushed by half of this ship collapsing on us.
(Riker, Data and Worf wait awkwardly.)
THE DOCTOR: (Scanning) Now that is really interesting… Martha, come look at this. (Martha walks over) Now, you remember the baby you saw? Well, it’s part of a collective intelligence. Every living thing in this place has the same mind. Except us. (Looking over at Riker, Data, and Worf.) And them. (Puts away sonic screwdriver)
RIKER: If I may ask, what are you doing here?
THE DOCTOR: Just exploring. (Beat) You don’t believe that?
RIKER: No, not really. How did you two manage to get on here without being noticed?
THE DOCTOR: I’m clever like that. What are you three doing here?
RIKER: Our ship was attacked by the Borg.
THE DOCTOR: Really? And you just walk in here, like that’s a good idea?
WORF: Our captain gave us orders to explore the ship. Who sent you here?
THE DOCTOR: Just came by ourselves.
RIKER: And you did you have any idea what you were walking into?
THE DOCTOR: Nope. (Grins)
(DATA has been scanning them with a tricorder for sometime)
DATA: (To Riker) The female is human.
MARTHA: “The female� I have a name, you know!
THE DOCTOR: (To Martha) He’s an android. (DATA looks surprised at him.) What, you think I didn’t notice?
DATA: No, but most people don’t know what androids look like.
THE DOCTOR: Almost everyone knows what you look like! You inspire a whole generation of androids! Millions are based off of your design! (Riker, Data, and Worf look at him oddly.) That hasn’t happened yet? (TNG people shake heads nervously) Oops.
RIKER: I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have pressing business to attend to. We need to find out about the Borg.
THE DOCTOR: You want information? I have plenty of information. They have a single mind, they are able to repair their ship using their own life- (Is suddenly cut off by explosion) My screwdriver must have set that off! Bad screwdriver. (Another explosion, which is closer. Knocks out Martha, injures The Doctor)
RIKER: Five to beam up. Full security team, and Medical staff.
GEORDI: (Over com) Five?
RIKER: We found some unexpected guests.
THE DOCTOR: Wait, five?! (Is beamed up with everyone)
(SETTING: Transport pad. All five people materialize on it)
THE DOCTOR: What did you do that for?!
RIKER: You were in danger back on the Borg Cube.
THE DOCTOR: (Voice goes squeaky) My ship’s back there!
RIKER: We can arrange a shuttlecraft to take you to you ship.
THE DOCTOR: My ship’s in the Borg Cube!
RIKER: (Getting off the pad) Did they capture it or something?
THE DOCTOR: I wouldn’t be that stupid. I landed it there.
RIKER: How do you land an entire space ship inside that?
(Security team comes in. Picard as well.)
RIKER: Ah, captain. This is The Doctor and this is Martha.
PICARD: What were you doing on the Borg ship?
THE DOCTOR: Just exploring. (Seeing Picard’s disbelieving expression) What? Why does nobody believe that we were just exploring?
Posting part of my script which I’ve finally worked on for once. Reposting from the beginning of scene five.
SCENE 5
(SCENE: The main area of the base. A bunch of people are gathered around something on the floor.)
FIREH: Awww, they’re so cute!
SILVER LINING: Adorable!
PEARY MOPPINS: What are?
FIREH: Wungs!
PEARY MOPPINS: Wait, you have wungs?
SILVER LINING: Yeah! Right here, see? (holding up a small furry thing) There are five of them!
(REI walks in; she sees the furry thing and stops short, turning to DATA who has just walked in behind her.)
REI: Please tell me that’s a wung.
DATA: Actually, that is a creature known as a Tribble. Starfleet first encountered them on Stardate—
REI: Data-san! We’re not in Starfleet!
DATA: Yes, I am aware of that. However—
REI: Look. I don’t want to know when Starfleet first encountered them. I want to know how to get rid of them. Okay?
(Before DATA has a chance to answer, DELTA V walks in.)
DELTA V: Data! We have a problem!
REI: There’s another one, right over there. Someone let TRIBBLES in here, and when I find en, I am going to torture en.
DELTA V: Oh. Great. Just what we need, when Sakura, SilverLeopard, Daisy*chain and bluefire27 have disappeared.
REI: Oh no! V-chan, we have to find them!
DELTA V: I know. Funny, it sounds almost familiar, like they’ve been missing before…
REI: Oh my gosh! They have! Data, find every copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the base.
(DATA nods and rushes off.)
DELTA V: Do you think—
REI: Yes, V-chan! It’s another plot twist.
DELTA V: We seem to be having a lot of those lately. Luckily they’re all familiar. (mumbling) And I’m Delta V, not Sailor Venus…
REI: I know, V-chan, but I prefer to call you that.
DELTA V: RQ, why do you insist on adding Japanese extensions to everyone’s names?
REI: I think it’s partly my character coming out and partly because it’s fun. (giggles)
DELTA V: Er, yeah, sure, whatever. Anyway, what do—
(Suddenly, AVALONGIRL appears in the middle of the room, looking confused.)
AVALONGIRL: Huh? This is definitely not where I thought I’d be. What’s going on?
REI: Errr, Mira-chan? What are you doing here, and why aren’t you Sakura?
AVALONGIRL: Why would I be Sakura? And hey, are you RQ? Weren’t you just Kirianne?
REI: Uh, a WHILE ago. What’s going on? Have you had some weird memory loss as a result of being turned into Luna Lovegood?
AVALONGIRL: Luna Lovegood? When was I turned into Luna Lovegood? I don’t remember that. Except I do remember RPing it on Sci Fi.
REI: What’s the last thing you remember?
AVALONGIRL: The voice telling me to use a teletransporter to get out of that other dimension?
REI: News flash, Mira-chan: we ARE in another dimension.
AVALONGIRL: Oh, cake. Do you mean it didn’t work?
REI: I guess so, yeah… so how are you supposed to get back to this other other dimension now? There’s gonna be two of you here as soon as we get the other you out of OotP. If that made any sense at all.
AVALONGIRL: …it didn’t.
REI: Oh. GREAT.
AVALONGIRL: Aaanyway, I think I’ll transform into Sailor Venus now. (She concentrates for a second, then looks down at herself.) Huh? What happened? I didn’t transform!
REI: The rules are different here. You have to wish. (thinks for a second, then slips her hand in her pocket) I wish I could be Euphie from Code Geass.
(This time there isn’t much of a change. Her hair gets a bit curlier and turns pink; her outfit turns into an old-fashioned dress, and her eyes change to periwinkle blue. She gets a little taller, too.)
AVALONGIRL: Oh-kay, I have no idea who you are, but whatever. I wish I could be Sailor Venus!
(Nothing happens, again.)
AVALONGIRL: It’s not working!
EUPHIE: I think that’s ‘cause this version of you doesn’t have a talisman. Check your pockets anyway, though.
(AVALONGIRL does so and finds nothing.)
EUPHIE: Yup, just as I thought.
(DELTA V comes running in with SAKURA, SILVERLEOPARD, BLUEFIRE27 and DAISY*CHAIN.)
SAKURA: Sorry ‘bout that. I got stuck in… WHOA WHY IS AVALONGIRL STANDING OVER THERE. IS THERE A MIRROR OR SOMETHING. HOLY CAKE.
AVALONGIRL: Uh, are you me by any chance?
SAKURA: Yes. I believe I am. This is really strange. What’s going on, RQ?
EUPHIE: Errr, V-chan? Do you have a teletransporter, by any chance?
DELTA V: Of course. I’ll get AvalonGirl sorted out right away.
(DELTA V and AVALONGIRL exit stage left.)
SILVERLEOPARD: Uh, maybe I should follow them. To make sure everything goes okay.
DAISY*CHAIN: Yeah, good idea. (sideways glance at EUPHIE)
BLUEFIRE27: Mhm. Let’s go.
(They exit stage left as well.)
EUPHIE: I don’t think they knew who I was. (laughs)
SAKURA: Prolly not. Anyway, I’m going to go, too. (exits stage left, waving)
EUPHIE: Greeeeat. Desert me, why don’t you.
(CECILE comes running in.)
CECILE: …uh, Euphie? Huh? Are… you… nevermind.
EUPHIE: Hi, Armada-chan.
CECILE: Oh, phew. It’s not actually Euphie. (grins)
EUPHIE: (laughs) Now all we need is—
(Suddenly, SUZAKU walks in stage left—the way the girls just happened to be facing.)
EUPHIE, CECILE: Suzaku?!
SUZAKU: Eu-phie? Cec—
EUPHIE: Suzaku! I’m so glad you’re here! (runs toward him, then accidentally-on-purpose trips) Oh! Sorry. (not sounding sorry at all, since he’s caught her)
CECILE: Oh! Suzaku! Lloyd was, um, just looking for you. He’s… er… got some modifications to the Lancelot that he wants you to test. But I don’t know where he is… have you seen him lately?
SUZAKU: No, but—
CECILE: Oh. Darn. But anyway, want to come find him with me?
(She blinks her eyes cutely anime-style and waits a couple of seconds, during which time EUPHIE makes no effort to let go of SUZAKU. Finally, CECILE coughs discreetly.)
CECILE: …Sub-Viceroy Euphemia, could you get off him now?
EUPHIE: He’s my knight. I don’t have to let him go with you if I don’t want to.
CECILE: But Lloyd might be he—errrr. Suzaku, just come with me, ‘kay?
SUZAKU: He isn’t here, by the way…
(EUPHIE pays no attention to this and continues arguing with CECILE.)
EUPHIE: But he’s MINE! Leave him alone! You can go fangirl Lloyd by yourself. Suzaku said he doesn’t know where Lloyd is, right, Suzaku?
SUZAKU: He’s. Not. Here. Okay, fangirls?
CECILE: Waaaait a second. Something’s not right here.
SUZAKU: You just noticed, Armarmalade?
(EUPHIE jumps away from him, and she and CECILE look at each other.)
EUPHIE, CECILE: Ohcrap. Sudo?
SUZAKU: (laughs) Uh-huh. I figured you two would flip out over this. I just didn’t figure you’d actually be CG characters at the time…
(EUPHIE and CECILE both blush furiously.)
EUPHIE: Errrr. I wish I could be… um… Zoey. Yes. (turns into Zoey with cat ears) See, at least she gets cat ears when she’s embarrassed, right? (mutters) Laugh it off, laugh it off…
SUZAKU: Oooh, perhaps I should be Elliot, then. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Rq?
ZOEY: Oh, shut up, SR.
CECILE: Please do transform, though… just not into Elliot. ‘Kay?
ZOEY: (hastily) Or Mark.
SUZAKU: Okay, okay! I wish I could be… (mumbles something).
ZOEY: Who?
CECILE: What?
AVALONGIRL: (entering stage left) Huh?
(In a flash of blue light, SUZAKU suddenly gets a whole lot taller. And skinnier. And… bonier. He appears to also be holding a scythe.)
AVALONGIRL: Aaaaaaah!
(CECILE and ZOEY stare at each other, then at DEATH’s back. They can only see that whatever Suzaku has transformed into is wearing a black robe.)
ZOEY: Er… what’s… wrong, Mira-chan? And why are you still AvalonGirl?
CECILE: I think a more accurate question would be “Why are you still here,†wouldn’t it? I’m guessing that’s the AG from the other dimension.
AVALONGIRL: Yes… I’m… it’s… he’s… D-death!
ZOEY: Whaaaaat? Turn around, Sudo.
DEATH: I AM NOT SUDORANDOM. I AM DEATH. (AND I LOVE TALKING LIKE THIS.)
ZOEY: Okay… so, you went from anime hottie to anthropomorphic personification. I can deal with this. Totally. Just… warn us the next time you do anything that drastic, would you?
DEATH: OF COURSE.
AVALONGIRL: Errrrr. Anthrowhahuh?
CECILE: Ah, nothing… why are you still here?
AVALONGIRL: Delta V tried to get the teletransporter to work, but all the machines are down. She tried wishing them back, too, but nothing happened.
ZOEY: That’s weird… all the wishes we made have been working. Do you think it’s a field of some sort?
AVALONGIRL: I have no idea, but that’s what Data thinks. So, until he and Delta and JJ can figure out how to fix it, there are going to be two of me to wreak havoc in here! Won’t that be fun?
ZOEY: Er… no, not really.
CECILE: Especially not with Sudo walking around as Death and terrorizing everyone.
ZOEY: But hey, at least the other AvalonGirl isn’t actually AvalonGirl at the moment, right?
AVALONGIRL: True. Meh, that’s no fun. Oh, hey… I know how I could mess everything up!
(Laughing maniacally, she runs off stage left. ZOEY, CECILE and DEATH stare after her.)
DEATH: I HOPE THIS MESS OF HERS DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME. OR DEATH NOTE.
ZOEY: Or Zinc… (giggles)
DEATH: OH, SHUT UP. (stalks off to stage right)
CECILE: Was it just me, or was he stalking rather dramatically just then?
ZOEY: Oh, it wasn’t just you. Anyway, I think we’d better go get rid of those Tribbles now.
CECILE: Tribbles? What Tribbles?
ZOEY: The ones that are probably all over the base by now. (points at a large pile of Tribbles on the floor towards stage right)
CECILE: Well, we could get SR to do a little scythe-waving… (laughs)
ZOEY: Or we could just wish. (steps into the middle of the mass of Tribbles) I wish all the Tribbles in the base were transported onto a Klingon ship that’s just conveniently passing by!
(They wait expectantly. Nothing happens.)
ZOEY: Okay, I wish we had a transporter to get them out with!
(Nothing happens again.)
ZOEY: I wish there was a Klingon ship somewhere in the vicinity?
(Nothing happens.)
CECILE: What we really need right about now is Sudo, or another Death… like Susan. Wish I could be he—oooooops.
(CECILE gets rather a lot taller and more Gothic-looking.)
ZOEY: (laughing hysterically) You’re… you’re… Sudo’s granddaughter! Ahahahahaha—
SUSAN: Shut. Up. I have a scythe and I’m not afraid to use it.
ZOEY: Ahahahaha! Haha—hahahaha—
(Suddenly, ZOEY slumps to the ground. SUSAN tries frantically to wake her up, but realizes that she’s actually asleep when she starts snoring loudly.)
SUSAN: Oh, for crying out loud…
(Suddenly, she claps her hands over her mouth, realizing that the voice—which she can normally control in characters—was most definitely not her own.)
SUSAN: What’s… happening? Something reaaally weird is going on here. Why can’t I remember…. (fluctuating in and out of her normal voice and the character Susan’s normal voice)
(KARINA walks in from stage left, looking imperiously down her nose at everything.)
KARINA: Oh, is Zoey asleep again? (noticing the Tribbles) Oh, ugh. Get Kiki or someone to get those ugly things out of here. They’re dirtying the café.
(She goes over to a convenient café-style table and sits down primly.)
KARINA: Who are you, anyway? You don’t look familiar. Are you a customer? We’re closed.
SUSAN: Er, I don’t—I MEAN, I DON’T HONESTLY KNOW. WHERE AM I?
KARINA: There’s no need to talk like that. I can hear you perfectly well the other way. (shaking ZOEY) ZOEY HANSON! WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!
ZOEY: Nnnnnh. Go ‘way, Mom. ‘Snot timef’r schoolyet.
KARINA: Zoey! Now!
(ZOEY opens her eyes, blinking at the strange light, and stares uncomprehendingly at KARINA for a few seconds.)
ZOEY: Ka…riii…na? What’re you doing—oh no! Did I fall asleep at the café?!
KARINA: Yes, and look at this mess! You’ll have to get these… things… out of here before we open.
ZOEY: You clean it up! You never do any work anyway! …what day is it?
KARINA: (thinks for a second) You know, I honestly don’t know. Does the café look… strange… to you at all?
ZOEY: Yes, very. This isn’t Café Mew Mew at all, is it?
SUSAN: Don’t ask me. All I know is I’ve got a horrid headache from listening to you two. Café what?
ZOEY: Mew Mew.
SUSAN: Can’t say I’ve heard of it. D’you have any idea where on the Disc we are?
KARINA: Disc? What disc? What on Earth are you talking about?
SUSAN: Earth? What’s an earth?
(ZOEY and KARINA stare at SUSAN for a long time, but she doesn’t seem to notice anything wrong.)
KARINA: What’s… an… earth? Are you crazy? It’s where you live, idiot!
SUSAN: I live on the Disc… I mean… I… where am I? What’s going on? How… how did I get here…?
(An alarm sounds, and all three of them jump and look around wildly. Suddenly, DELTA V races into the room.)
DELTA V: Guys? Who are you right now? I’m having trouble keeping track. Anyway, we need to—
(She trails off and puts her hand to her head.)
DELTA V: Wait, where’s the beach? Where is everybody?
ZOEY: Beach? What beach? I wanna go to the beach! I love the beach! (KARINA pokes her hard in the shoulder.) Owwww, stop poking me, Karina!
KARINA: (eying DELTA V) I think this… person… is a bit confused, Zoey. Come on, let’s get out of here.
(Grabbing ZOEY’s wrist, she drags her offstage at stage right.)
DELTA V: Hey, wait! (exits stage right)
SUSAN: Oh, I suppose I have to follow you now? Fine. (exits stage right)
SCENE 6
(Setting: The main control room of the base. Futuristic-looking machines are beeping and flashing, and JJ, DATA, SILVER LINING, KEIFFER, and PSEUDO are staring at them intently. Occasionally one of them will scribble a note on a piece of paper, their hand, or whatever else is available. Tinny music is heard from PSEUDO’s headphones.)
KEIFFER: Pseudo, can you turn down the Queen, please? It’s getting kind of hard to concentrate.
PSEUDO: What?
KEIFFER: (shouting) Turn down the music! It’s really hard to concentrate!
(PSEUDO fiddles with her iPod.)
PSEUDO: Sorry, was it too loud?
KEIFFER: No, it was too quiet. I couldn’t hear enough of it and it was driving me nuts.
SILVER LINING: Want me to put on the Beatles? I’ve got Help.
PSEUDO: Ooh, yes please. Is there a sound system in this thing?
SILVER LINING: Yeah! I use it all the time.
DATA: (calmly) I believe that this forcefield is the work of the BunnyBorg.
KEIFFER: (singing along) Help, I need somebody… wait, what?
PSEUDO: Whaaat? The BunnyBorg? I thought we were in Bunny Apocalypse!
DATA: Apparently the bunnies have been exploring outer space a bit more than we had thought. They obviously know about our technology, as they have created a field that will keep us all in whatever form we last transformed into for as long as it remains centered on the base. The field has also blocked all communications, both between people in the base and with areas outside of the base, and our transporter signals, and prevents anyone caught in it from transforming back.
JJ: Are there any areas not affected by this field? If there are, we need to get to them.
(Everyone stares at her for a second.)
JJ: What?
SILVER LINING: Er, nothing. Data, can you do a scan of the base to figure out whether the field has affected all of it yet?
DATA: I already have. Our only chance is to evacuate everyone to the warehouse area and then outside, and we’d have to do that without the BunnyBorg noticing us.
PSEUDO: Is the field affecting the warehouse?
DATA: Not yet. It hasn’t gotten to us yet either, but it should reach us in approximately seventeen seconds.
KEIFFER: Don’t you want to wish yourself back to normal, then? What if you’re stuck as Data forever?
DATA: That would be awesome, are you kidding?
SILVER LINING: Oh, so now you sound like the normal Enc, huh? You get to do that for… ten, nine, eight…
JJ: Can’t we wish it away? I wish the BunnyBorg had never existed in this dimension!
SILVER LINING: One… Oh yeah, good idea. (facepalm)
(There is an uneasy silence for a minute or so.)
KEIFFER: Okay, I wish I had green hair.
(KEIFFER’s hair turns green, and everyone stares at her.)
KEIFFER: What? Someone had to do it. I wish my hair was normal again.
SILVER LINING: (highfives) Good job, Keiffer Lining.
KEIFFER: You too, Silver Keiffer.
Speaking of doing the SF show in stop-motion, do you think maybe we could use LEGOs?
Sounds interesting, but it would take people with a lot a dedication to build everything.
I know, it’s just a lot easier to make convincing space station interiors in LEGO than it would be to film in live action, being that we are all just kids.
Oh, great, so I finally post more of my script and you people don’t even notice? XP
Right, it’s great! Oh, and I probably would have changed into The Doctor by now.
I’d like to write a Sitcom, but I’m drawing a blank plotwise. Any suggestions?
How about it is about a gay paralyzed computer techie whose boss hates him, and he is in love with his best friends girlfriend. His other two friends can be his former room-mates who give him terrible advice and he has to handle all this while functioning in normal society.
That could turn out as a sit-com or a drama.
Hm. Him being in love with his best friend’s girlfriend while simultaneously being gay would certainly make for an interesting plot…
Maybe his best friend’s boyfriend? As in his best friend is a girl?
I did think of that. Now that I stop and think about it, though, trust kokopelli has an interesting idea. Something that’s basically ignored in television is how vastly complicated sexuality is, and it can happen (albeit very rarely) that someone is attracted solely to one sex except for one or two exceptions, such as the case trust kokopelli mentioned.
Well, I think it should certainly deal with GLBT (Or anything else you can add to that abreviation) because there aren’t enough relationships of those sort. Especially lesbian relationships- there are around none on TV nowadays.
Random idea for an arc that could occur.
Two girls are going out with each other, and then one comes out as transgender. This makes them a straight couple. Then, the other partner comes out as transgender, which makes them a gay couple. Then they all get a bit confused genderwise and decide to become just a couple.
Hm. That sounds interesting. Another twist to that could be that the girls both identify as lesbians (as implied by your idea, although that made them sound a bit more like bisexual or more likely pansexual, depending on whether it’s pre-op or post-op) and then one comes out as transgendered/gender queer and the other no longer wishes to be in a relationship.
Hey Enc I just realized: We should co-author! You interested?
Yeah, I’m interested!
Oh, and about the story- it’s based on a real story. In my sex-ed class, we had people in the GLBT community visit us and talk about their experience. One of them was genderqueer/ transexual, and all that happened over the course of two days.
Wow. That must have been crazy.
…Characters? General plot?
I think the general plot should be about the GLBT community in one state or another working to get gay marriage allowed.
Are you doing a comedy or a drama? That sounds good for a drama, but it might be too serious for a comedy.
Or it could just sort of be about the community in general, and could follow real recent events.
True.
I think it should be more of a drama, since as a comedy, this would be a bit serious as Kai said.
Idea for title- “Queer” is an idea I came up with, what about you?
I don’t know, I feel like we could make a comedy out of it if it was less focused on gaining gay rights and more on just their lives.
Well, you could do a drama with some funny bits, like Frost/Nixon.
I remember an idea people were bouncing around at one point…
All the Musers are a family, and the GAPAs are the parents? If anyone’s interested…here’s an idea of the sort of humor I intend to use in it.
(girl scout rings the doorbell) GIRL SCOUT: “Hi! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?”
MBer: (interested stare) “Are they made with real Girl Scouts?”
Nice. I could just see any random MBer saying that, very seriously.
So, Addams Family-style stuff? I’d love that.
Yeah, me too.
GIRL SCOUT: Umm… Never mind.
MBer: It hate it when things advertise falsley, don’t you? I mean, we only get Sheperd’s Pie made with real sheperds. Nothing fake in our house! Everything is real! Even the needles on our christmas trees can be used for sewing! Hey, where’d she go?
GIRL SCOUT: *has run away screaming*
MBer: What a shame. I bet the cookies were made out of Boy Scouts instead. Shame on you, Girl Scouts, shame on you for trying to pass off the cookies as something that they weren’t!
OTHER MBer: No, I bet they’re real Girl Scouts. They just didn’t want us to know.
MBer: Then what do they make Boy Scouts into?
OTHER MBer: Popcorn, probably. Or badges.
SFTDP, but you misspelled falsely. XD
Either that, or pies baked by Alan Shepard…
Fireh: Good, then.
Kai: Yeah! I saw the musical just last week; and I’m inspired.
I found the original idea! Here’s the info.
“-Last name is Embi.
-The house is both huge and called something like The Oasis, and it could be on top of the same trans-dimensional/multi-universal . . . thingy . . . that the H&H is on.
-And so all of the housework and cooking and so on could be done by wungs, which probably wouldn’t exist anywhere else. And there would be HPBs, of course. And fleets of giant space squid.
-One of the universes that is accessible via The Oasis is the universe containing Muse Academy, so the Embis could go there, and the rest of their universe would think they were homeschooled.
-The GAPAs would, of course, have to be the parental units, but they’d need to be more along the lines of aunts and uncles. Possibly we could have the GAPAs all be siblings from a large family, and the rest of the family got married and had kids, and then died, so their kids were adopted by the GAPAs. (This would make it possible for us to have cousins as well as siblings/twins, although it is a little bit improbable.) (NOTE: Neko disagrees, she thinks we should all just be a huge family with no backstory of how we all got here; but the GAPAs as caretakers works.)
-The Embi family lives at The Woven Beyond, at 42 Muserly Lane. Museica, Illinois.”
Fireh, Sudo, Kai; if you’re all interested, we should all write portions of the story. The next one of us to write more story edits the previous post and puts all the story up to there into their post, then writes the next part.
Sounds fun! I probably won’t be much good, though.
Could I write?
I’m definitely in.
Enc and Sudo- are you guys still Sudoladus?
I don’t know. I’m pretty sure we still are THE SUDOLADUS.
SUDOLADUS, Fireh, you all write. I is not good at writing volumes.
Should we do script-style? I think so. IF ANYONE CAN ANIMATE, WE NEED ‘EM.
I can animate, though I don’t have the best program for it (GIMP). If Someone else is willing to draw and scan all the pictures required, I’ll gladly animate them into one file.
If I can be included in the script, I’d be happy to draw. Are we thinking simple animation, or more complex frame-by-frame?
Could be either! After we finish writing the first few scenes, I’ll decide which is better.
Yes we should definitely write script style.
YAY.
I’m trying to see if I can convince RQ to help write; she’s good at this sorta stuff. I’ll get back to you when she replies.
It does sound like fun!
Here is part of a script I am writing on Microsoft:
Act 1, scene 1
(Curtain opens onto a mountaintop. There is bare rock covered in heather and lichen, and no trees. A path leads off the mountaintop, down the mountain. (AKA offstage.) In the background, you can see a sunset and some distant mountains, although this is by far the highest.)
(Enter Yuna, Ava, Mother, Father, and twins Leo and Saiara. Yuna is in the lead, and once she gets up the mountain she collapses on the rock. Everyone else sits around her and takes a swig of water from their water bottles.)
YUNA (sarcastic): Tell me why we have to climb this mountain again?
MOTHER: The transporters will pick us up here with their transports. It has to be a remote location so that no one will notice them. You want to go to another dimension, don’t you dear?
YUNA: We’ve been moving from time to time for four years now. Why can’t we just stay in one place? Such as this time? I like it here. People think we’re normal, I don’t have to wear petticoats, and I have friends.
MOTHER: Because as soon as we leave, we disappear from memory. That’s how we can live here with out changing history. Nobody will remember us if we go back now.
YUNA (Crying): But why did we have to leave at all?
MOTHER: There, there. Don’t cry. Everything is for the better. We are going to a dimension designed just for 2213 refugees, after all! Just think Yuna-we won’t have to lie anymore! And you’ll be with all your old friends!
YUNA: We moved around so often I never had any friends.
MOTHER: Then you’ll be able to start anew!
YUNA: But what if I don’t want to?
(Yuna sets up her tent and crawls inside. Meanwhile, the rest of the family makes dinner and goes to bed in two other tents. Ava crawls into the tent that she and Yuna share. )
Act 1, scene 2.
(Family is awake and has packed up their tents. They are eating breakfast. Yuna is strangely quiet.)
AVA: So, when does the transport get here?
FATHER (Looks at watch): In about half an hour. Is everybody set?
EVERYBODY EXCEPT YUNA: Mostly.
FATHER: Yuna?
YUNA: Oh, just leave me alone!
(Father sighs. The rest of the family scurry around the mountaintop gathering things up and packing them into their hiking backpacks.)
MOTHER: Oh, look, the transport! Everyone, stand together now. Leo, wave that red flag!
(Leo waves the flag. The transporter (Which resembles a turquoise blimp) flies toward them and hovers about 3 feet off the ground in front of them. A ladder comes out of a doorway-like thing, which opens. A man wearing red from head to toe descends the ladder.)
MAN: Are you the Havad family? The 2213 refugees?
FATHER: Yes, we are them. Are you here to take us to dimension R?
MAN: Yes. Please enter the transport. I assume you have all your belongings?
MOTHER: Yes, we are all set!
MAN: Good. Oh, I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Borealis. And you are?
Mother (Shakes hand with Borealis): I’m Fran. This is my husband Roberto. This is Yuna, Ava, Leo, and Saiara. Pleased to meet you.
BOREALIS: Thank you. Please come inside. I will show you to your seats. We have a few more stops to make before we can leave for Dimension R, you see.
(Mother, Father, Ava, Leo, and Saiara board the transport. Yuna takes one last glance around and then ascends the ladder. Borealis pulls up the ladder after she is inside and closes the door. The Transport takes off and goes up, up, out of sight.)
Sorry for the FFX name.
Please insert ‘teleport’ in place of every ‘transport’ for this script to make sense. XD Sorry, long story, but anywayses I caked that up.
I mean in your head.
GIRL SCOUT: “Hi! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?â€
MBER 1: (interested stare) “Are they made with real Girl Scouts?â€
GIRL SCOUT: Umm… Never mind.
MBER 1: It hate it when things advertise falsley, don’t you? I mean, we only get Sheperd’s Pie made with real sheperds. Nothing fake in our house! Everything is real! Even the needles on our christmas trees can be used for sewing! Hey, where’d she go?
GIRL SCOUT: (runs away screaming)
MBER 1: Even the needles on our christmas trees can be used for sewing! Hey, where’d she go?
MBER 1: What a shame. I bet the cookies were made out of Boy Scouts instead. Shame on you, Girl Scouts, shame on you for trying to pass off the cookies as something that they weren’t!
MBER 2 ENCELADUS: ((We should start naming these people.)) (comes to the door) Again? Man, nothing is real in America anymore. Sugar made of corn, Flamingos made of plastic… Heck, everything’s made of plastic! Even boo-
MBER 1: (hurriedly) Yes, Enceladus, I get the point.
ENCELADUS: … I was going to say Boondoggle.
XD WIN.
That’s exactly what I’d say. (Except it would probably be “Books made of silicon chips.)
Doesn’t have the same long oo sound, though.
True.
Blarg. Italics fail. Only the stage directions should be italicized.
HEY PEEPS.
I’ve been thinking about writing an alternate BA manga, set in a sorta-post-apocalyptic future (hence the names)? The characters are mostly all there; but I can’t draw, and so it will remain lost forever.
And when I say alternate, please consider that there is no way I can transfer it all over; and so henceforth Avalon shall be an antihero protagonist.
If I’ve missed anyone who’s not I-Man and was in the plot, please say who-I’m not rereading the threads, I’m gonna miss stuff.
CHARS:
Avalon (AvalonGirl).
Zvix (ZVX).
Tyg (TGYPWYA).
Kitmin (Kittymine).
Rose (RoseQuartz).
Posc (POSOC).
Alice (Alice).
Arma (Armada).
and a million other people I can’t remember afdfsrasdfasijk
ME ME PICK ME!
ME TOO
OKAY GOSH.
Kokonil (Kokonilly).
Aggrie (agrrrfishi).
THERE. Gimme your physical descriptions for BA nows.
But seriously, if anyone can draw somewhat manga-style; I’d be willing to work with them on the script if they did the drawing.
My friend has been teaching me to draw manga. I can post some example work on the Visual Arts thread, if you like.
Name: Aggie (Aggrie)
Age(at the time of the first BA): 18
Appearance: Short, shoulder length red hair. Bluntly cut, with straight-across front bangs. Midnight blue eyes and pale skin. Tall with a strong physique.
I’d like. Could you draw Aggrie manga-style as you would for the BA manga?
Manga me? Think Erica from Pokemon, the Celadon gym leader, except more tan.
For sure, I’ll get right to work!
Done! Check the Visual Arts thread.
Do you want me to draw your characters, Pie Girl and Nilly?
Okay! Just remember; Purple.
Manga Me? Do whatever you want, as long as there’s a little purple in my hair.
Can I also help with the script? I have scripted many books. Oh, wait, I wasn’t in BA just BA:TNG. But I can still help with the script!
Age at time of first BA: 14
Appearance: Brown eyes; tall and skinny, with black hair (the hair dye that matches my hair is called “black velvet” ^^) that reaches just below the ears and tanned skin. Has awful eyesight and glasses with black, squarish frames.
I’m imagining the Embi family script story thing as a movie. So today I came up with what might be the trailer or something….
—
V.O.: In a small town in Illinois…
[close up of sign that says “Museica, Illinois- 3 mi.”]
V.O.: In a house often called The Woven Beyond…..
[the Embi house, as seen from the street]
V.O.: There is a family.
[shot of several Embis crowded around a television, arguing about something while Star Trek plays on the screen]
V.O.: The Embi family.
[shot of the Embi house again from the street. Girl Scout walks up to the door and rings the doorbell.]
GIRL SCOUT: Hello?
[door is opened by Enc and another MBer.]
MBER: Yes?
GIRL SCOUT: Hi! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?
MBER: [interested stare] Are they made with real Girl Scouts?
GIRL SCOUT: Umm… Never mind.
MBER: It hate it when things advertise falsley, don’t you? I mean, we only get Sheperd’s Pie made with real sheperds. Nothing fake in our house! Everything is real! Even the needles on our christmas trees can be used for sewing! Hey, where’d she go?
GIRL SCOUT: [runs away screaming]
MBER: Even the needles on our christmas trees can be used for sewing! Hey, where’d she go?
MBER: What a shame. I bet the cookies were made out of Boy Scouts instead. Shame on you, Girl Scouts, shame on you for trying to pass off the cookies as something that they weren’t!
ENCELADUS: Again? Man, nothing is real in America anymore. Sugar made of corn, Flamingos made of plastic… Heck, everything’s made of plastic! Even boo-
MBER: [hurriedly] Yes, Enceladus, I get the point.
ENCELADUS: … I was going to say Boondoggle.
[Scene flashes to the Embi family having a pie war. Pie and cream and crusts are flying everywhere. Close-ups of various cream-covered MBers, grinning as they aim their pies.]
V.O.: Chaos.
[a pie flies right in front of the camera lens]
V.O.: Insanity.
[a pie hits the lens. The screen is filled with dripping cream and light brown pie-crust.]
V.O.: The strangest, most flamabulous, and funniest family in the history of the world.
[back to pie war scene]
MBER: WHY WAS THAT PIE FILLED WITH TOOTHPASTE?
[screen blacks out]
V.O.: The Embi family, coming soon to theaters near you.
—
Opinions? The idea struck me suddenly and I just had to write it down.
That’s us, alright.
See.
If we ever managed to get every single MBer together in RL.
It would look something like that.
(By the way, I probably did the toothpaste pie; depends on what flavor.)
I was just reading through the Girl Scout cookie scene and thought “Hey! That would make a great scene for a movie trailer!” then the rest of the “trailer” just popped into my head. I laughed the whole time I was writing it down.
169.1- Yup. I wasn’t sure whether to have them watching Star Trek or Doctor Who but I put Star Trek in the end.
169.2- If we ever managed to get every single MBer together, in a mass konvention of MBers, I think part of the participation fee would be bringing a few pie tins and a spray bottle thingy of whipped cream per person. It would be fun.
Let’s make it a goal: if any of us suddenly becomes a multimillionaire, they must invite all other Musers to a party of muserness.
Would you like to start the script off? I intend it to be written sorta how RQ and I’s script was written-lines, and stage directions here and there; perfect for an animated TV show.
Sure! I’ll start it with chaos. I gotta run now, but I’ll be brainstorming.
Oh my good newt bucket that is awesomeful. I wonder if you could film it. And possibly get it out in theaters at the same time as the deathly hallows so that it’s awesomeness would take over the world.
THE KOKONSPIRACY KONTINUES
Ooh! Ooh! Can I be in the movie the trailer is for? (I’d probably be throwing pies and ignoring the TV playing Star Treck.)
XD WIN.
That is awesome, I needs it to be real.
-169 Awesome!
Could I post the script for an idea I had for a Youtube video? It’s called Pscho Zombie Hunter and it’s about a girl with split personalities (neither of them nice) living in a world full of sentient zombies. Does that sound OK?
Excerpt; probably from the Embi script.
WN: Eeenc, I want my superhero gameshows! *stamps*
RQ: *walks into the room* I know! Enc’s holding a monopoly on the TV. Doctor Who or Star Trek marathon, I wasn’t watching. And he won’t let me watch Death Note…
WN: *stares* Aaand any of those are about what, exactly?
RQ: *stares back* You don’t know what Death Note is.
WN: Well, no. I just know about as much as you can know without ever reading anything about it.
RQ: BLASPHEMY! *dramatic finger-point*
MBer: *runs into the room* Waitaminute. Did I hear the words ‘Star Trek’, “Doctor Who”, and ‘about what’ in the same sentence? I hope I’m hearing things.
WN: *raises hand* Um…that was me. I don’t watch either.
MBer: *dramatic gasp* BLASPHEMY!
WN: I’m going in and changing the chanel.
(She goes in, and discovers AM, Luna, Alice, POSOC, ebeth, Keiffer, Pseudonym, fireandhemlock, and anyone I might have forgotten, and Enc crowded around the television, watching Bad Wolf/ Parting Of The Ways (Doctor Who episodes) )
F+H: You watch Doctor Who, Witchenko?
WN: No, I want to watch my shows.
Enc: NOES. We are watching Doctor Who!
WN: You’ve been watching for…. *checks watch* 36 hours straight!
Enc: Not straight- I went to the bathroom once during a scene in Blink that I memorized.
WN: *facepalm*
Luna: Shush, I can’t hear JB’s smexy smexy voice.
Enc: (Whispering) Sorry!
(Change watch to iPod.)
WN: *facepalm again* O. M. G. You guys are obsessed.
F+H. It’s a crime not to be!
Luna: SHUSH!
(all fall quiet)
((And then I run in shouting “Hey, guys, Apollo 13’s gonna be on in half-”
*Looks at people*
“-Oohhkay, never mind… what’s on?”))
Is it too late to jump on the Embi bandwagon, or could I join?
Write a scene, and we can put them in! Just like I started with the TV one the post above. Then us Embi writers can continue!
And you can write some script-that’s-not-just-a-scene, too.
Idea- We could just write random scenes that come to mind, and put them all together later?
Here’s a scene I wrote:
(Various MBers are sitting around in the kitchen. F+H stomps incarrying a wet and bedraggled kitten.)
F+H: Why was Mittens up on the roof, covered in whipped cream?
Luna: Why were you on the roof?
F+H: I was looking for Mittens with Enc!
Luna: And why did you think Mittens would be on the roof?
Enc: Because she wasn’t anywhere else!
Randomosity: She might have run away.
Enc: But she didn’t!
Luna: But WHAT in the WORLD were you thinking, going up on the ROOF?
Robert: (walks in) Who was on the roof?
F+H: Enc and I were. But Luna, whoever put Mittens up there was on the roof first.
Luna: And how did you get up on the roof anyway?
Robert: They probably used the attic stairs.
Luna: You’re supposed to be scolding them about the danger!
Robert: I am? (looks surprised)
WN: *walks out from behind the chimney, looking irritable* I can’t find Cake or Somewhere, okay, Fireh? I needed my kitty fix.
f+h: That sounds strangely wrong. ANYWAY, two things: how did you find Mittens, and how the cake were you hiding behind that chimney anyway?
Randomosity: And what sort of person names their cat Cake anyway?
WN: A hungry one? And besides, Mitten’s partially mine anyways.
Luna: That’s not an answer to the question!
Enc: Besides, you still didn’t-
(Witchneko WIBBLES)
Enc: *defeated sigh* Fine. Come on, Luna, we’ve got four more hours to go on the marathon.
(Luna and Enc EXIT DOWNSTAIRS)
f+h: YOU STOLE MY KITTY.
WN: She’s MY kitty too!
(The two promptly get into a fight over who’s kitty Mittens is.)
Randomosity: *turns to Robert* Weren’t you going to install a trap door on the roof, and how’s it possible for her to have hidden behinds that chimney?
Robest: *apologetic sigh* I was, but then a cat fell asleep on the square I was using. Come to think of it…
Randomosity: No. Answer the second question.
Robert: She was kneeling. *walks away, presumably going to fix the trap door*
Randomosity: *looks to the two girls* Hmmm, I wonder…it was probably Witch’s kitty, but whatever.
(Randomosity LEAVES DOWNSTAIRS)
(Note: Mittens was already found by Enc and F+H. Note that f+h came in carrying a kitten?)
F+H: Neko, I thought we came to an agreement that Mittens, Nobody, and Silver belong to Enc and I, and Cake, Somewhere, and all kittehz that are not claimed by people, belong to you? And Cake’s Somewhere, I’m sure. You’ll find here. (laughs at joke)
WN: That was a reeeeally bad pun, Fireh. What the- CAKE! (spots kitten curled up on top of refrigerator, smudged with something white) How’d she get there? How am I supposed to get her down?!?
F+H: Try using the step-stool.
WN: ….oh yeah.
F+H: (laughs) That might help. I’m going back to the marathon. Good luck finding Somewhere!
(F+H EXITS DOWNSTAIRS, following ENC and LUNA.)
165 (Witchneko) – I’d love to do it! So…does the scene have to continue from the last scene, or are we going to use fireh’s idea and have random ideas?
Just do a scene; you can continue yours and anyone else’s.
173, 171, 175.
(MBer-1 and MBer-2 are sitting at a table, having a game of chess.)
MBer-1: Knight to E5.
MBer-2: *stares into space*
MBer-1: Hello? Your move?
MBer-2: *after a very long while* What? Oh, sorry, didn’t see you move. Hmm…Bishop to C6.
MBer-1: *gets up and leaves the table*
MBer-2: Hey, where are you going?
-the next day-
MBer-2: *sits down* Where’s MBer-1? It’s ens move.
Robert: I don’t know. I’ll go look around. *looks around in kitchen* MBer-1! It’s your move in the chess game with MBer-2! Remember?
MBer-1: Right, sorry, I forgot about this game! Ha, I haven’t played it in a while.
(NB: Not meant to be offensive to any chess players on the blog.)
XD XD XD XD